Have you ever wanted to experience something that everyone [around you] said was "so cool" but when you experienced it, you may have enjoyed it but were somehow disappointed?
To make it clearer, a concrete example would be when you go see a movie and heard some critic.
How you think is your chance to get a great surprise if everyone say that the movie you are going to see is "top notch"/"five stars"/etc.? And how do you think is your chance to be disappointed [by your expectation] and not feel it was the best movie ever made?
Take the same example with a movie that everyone says worth absolutely nothing. Ask yourself the same questions.
You have to remember that the majority is not always right! ;-) -- 1 million people can be wrong!
However, all this introduction to tell you that also with relationship, the expectation you have might really have a major influence on your behaviour, emotional feelings, surprise effect, etc.
If you get infatuated and expect that this girl meet all your "criteria of quality" (An ISO9000 certified girl!), you will have an higher chance to be disappointed once you find out that she has qualities and also... defaults (defects, bugs, etc. for you computer geeks).
On the other hand, if you do not expect anything, you have a *greater chance* to be surprised and to learn to appreciate every aspect of this girl. That does not mean you will learn to appreciate all the girls! ;-)
I am staying very general here. I hope you understand it and actually apply it. But as anything related to human, it is not a magical black box. You always have to use your own good old judgement.
However, just look around you -- especially the chicks around you. You will see that most of them get sad and even mad because of their expectation. A lot of you fools wonder why they get sad or mad for thing you could not have anticipated. Well the answer is simple: they have high expectation and are deceiving themselves. It is not your fault at all, it is their fault. Well now look at yourself and do not do the same errors (else you will be deceived too). You will thank me later for that!
If you have some good examples about those kinds of situation where you or someone else had high expectation and was deceived, you may want to share it with us. You may also share the ones where someone had a very low expectation and was greatly impressed! ;-)
NOTE: This is my 100th posts. It is also the first thread I start on the forum! I have lately intentionally lowered down my post (because I do other thing like having fun in my life and because I wanted to begin to contribute more in term of quality rather than in quantity). I will try to force myself to bring you guys at less one tip for each 100th post of mine (and maybe more between!). I also expect (!) some of you do the same. We have to construct [new stuff] outta here (or remind old stuff!)
NOTE2: I just did a search before posting, and someone else gave a similar tip sometime ago at less once. I am sure there are a lot of people that talked about it. I may have taken a different approach too. However, I believe sometime it is good to remind some kind of tips that people tend to forget. I believe this tips will be great for a lot of the posts I read in the forum lately.
NOTE3 (Another Tips!): Talking of bringing back thing that have already been said and doing a summary, you might want to check the tip entitled “My Tips” (even thought it is not only his tips!
) by LionFox. The approach is very interesting and the content is also useful. You might want to do your own list like that as a reminder. For example, resume all the tips you read in one or two sentence and do a list. That way you can read your list way faster than re-read all the post you probably already forget. The memory tends to come back way faster that way! ;-)
To make it clearer, a concrete example would be when you go see a movie and heard some critic.
How you think is your chance to get a great surprise if everyone say that the movie you are going to see is "top notch"/"five stars"/etc.? And how do you think is your chance to be disappointed [by your expectation] and not feel it was the best movie ever made?
Take the same example with a movie that everyone says worth absolutely nothing. Ask yourself the same questions.
You have to remember that the majority is not always right! ;-) -- 1 million people can be wrong!
However, all this introduction to tell you that also with relationship, the expectation you have might really have a major influence on your behaviour, emotional feelings, surprise effect, etc.
If you get infatuated and expect that this girl meet all your "criteria of quality" (An ISO9000 certified girl!), you will have an higher chance to be disappointed once you find out that she has qualities and also... defaults (defects, bugs, etc. for you computer geeks).
On the other hand, if you do not expect anything, you have a *greater chance* to be surprised and to learn to appreciate every aspect of this girl. That does not mean you will learn to appreciate all the girls! ;-)
I am staying very general here. I hope you understand it and actually apply it. But as anything related to human, it is not a magical black box. You always have to use your own good old judgement.
However, just look around you -- especially the chicks around you. You will see that most of them get sad and even mad because of their expectation. A lot of you fools wonder why they get sad or mad for thing you could not have anticipated. Well the answer is simple: they have high expectation and are deceiving themselves. It is not your fault at all, it is their fault. Well now look at yourself and do not do the same errors (else you will be deceived too). You will thank me later for that!
If you have some good examples about those kinds of situation where you or someone else had high expectation and was deceived, you may want to share it with us. You may also share the ones where someone had a very low expectation and was greatly impressed! ;-)
NOTE: This is my 100th posts. It is also the first thread I start on the forum! I have lately intentionally lowered down my post (because I do other thing like having fun in my life and because I wanted to begin to contribute more in term of quality rather than in quantity). I will try to force myself to bring you guys at less one tip for each 100th post of mine (and maybe more between!). I also expect (!) some of you do the same. We have to construct [new stuff] outta here (or remind old stuff!)
NOTE2: I just did a search before posting, and someone else gave a similar tip sometime ago at less once. I am sure there are a lot of people that talked about it. I may have taken a different approach too. However, I believe sometime it is good to remind some kind of tips that people tend to forget. I believe this tips will be great for a lot of the posts I read in the forum lately.
NOTE3 (Another Tips!): Talking of bringing back thing that have already been said and doing a summary, you might want to check the tip entitled “My Tips” (even thought it is not only his tips!
) by LionFox. The approach is very interesting and the content is also useful. You might want to do your own list like that as a reminder. For example, resume all the tips you read in one or two sentence and do a list. That way you can read your list way faster than re-read all the post you probably already forget. The memory tends to come back way faster that way! ;-)