The Difference Between the AFC and the Nice Guy

The difference between the AFC and the Nice Guy is the way they use their "nice-ness"

I am sure you all know what an AFC is. For those that don't know it is an acronym for "Average Frustrated Chump".

The AFC does nice things and gives compliments expecting to get something in return, thus making the niceness unsincere. The Nice Guy does nice things without expecting anything in return. He made someone else feel good, and even if that was not the intention, the act of letting out a sincere compliment makes him feel good because he did not hold it in.

The AFC uses his niceness as a tool. He is a manipulator. He tries to get people by doing fake acts of niceness that are not felt from the heart. He is always looking towards the outcome. His compliments are insencere and fake because he is looking for what he can gain from the compliment.

Although a compliment to a "beautiful" woman may seem sincere, it isn't "heart-felt". He is still thinking about the sex that he thinks he will get if he compliments her on her body as a sex object rather than a human being as a whole. It is best not even to think about the physical aspects of a woman.

The Nice Guy is sincere in his acts of "niceness". He gives sincere compliments when it is heart felt. He does acts of "nice-ness" when it is heart felt. When it is heart felt, it gives the compliment or "nice-ness" a whole new meaning.

I say niceness with quotation marks because this kind of "niceness" isn't just being nice, it is kindness.

Heart-felt compliments, acts of kindness, empathy, and lovingness are all acts which come from a feeling in the heart. The heart thinks way beyond lust. It focuses on the HIGHER non-physical things. So a compliment on looks IS NOT heart felt, because that focuses on the physical aspects of the woman.

Kindness, heartfelt compliments, forgiveness and empathy are all acts of love. If you forget to love, you will deny your heart felt feelings, and in the long run you will regret alot of things it will cause great harm to you in the form of emotions. So spread the love, it makes people feel good. But BE SINCERE. If you are being "nice" when it isn't heartfelt, then it is just that, niceness, not kindness.

Being kind and loving is not "unmanly" or "unmacho". It adds character.

Life is love. Love is life. It is the reason we are all here, to love. If you think the reason for life is to hate, and to hurt other people than you are four-fifths dead. (I dont know where I got this from but this is the creditibility to you if you read this). If the reason we were here was to hate and do harmful acts to people than there would be no purpose in living. Think about this and realize what we are all here for.

If you feel like being kind and loving is making you vulnerable, then you need to look deep down inside yourself. KNOW thyself. It is an insecurity brought by past events that have occured in your life. Vulnerability is feeling that has been anchored to you when you do acts of kindness and lovingness. Perhaps people made fun of you when you acted this way, or people bashed you... or maybe your mother made you feel like you were worthless by saying that your sincere acts of kindness weren't really sincere.

KNOW Thyself.

When you have let go of those feelings of vulnerability acts of kindness will no longer feel bad and spreading the love will start make you feel warm and tingly inside. I know everyone likes those warm and tingly feelings, and they come from having an open heart.

Lastly, you should love yourself. Be kind to yourself (seriously) and forgive yourself. Don't talk negative of yourself, be positive. Trust your instincts and your heart feelings, and your gut feelings.

That is all I have to say right now.

Peace, love and chicken grease!

I agree with your rationing of why we are here. It is to love and that is so very true. Love family, food, friends, car, God, aromas, colors, BEAUTY! So very true

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Yes, but my definition(s) for love are beyond anything of the physical.

Anything that is of the physical is lust.

There is "love" then there is "spiritual love" and then there is "True Love."

I love everyone (well, I TRY TO).... even enemies. Because deep down inside they are all made of pure energy or consciousness. We all came from the same source, that alone makes me feel like we are all basically the same deep down inside because we are all made of God. BTW, consciousness is also awareness, if you didn't get that. consciousness=energy=awareness. According to einstein all matter=energy.

I think the only love and True Love is when you love everything in existance, and your life. Why? Because everything comes from the same source. True love is deep. Way deeper than anything on the physical. Even deeper than the love for a soul. You may not agree but I beleive that pure consciousness is God, and pure consciousness is deep withing everyone, so everyone is connected to God, so that is the reason why true love is everything in existance.

Now, you might not agree with me. You might think "what about enemies or those who oppose you?" Well, understanding and forgiveness, acceptance is also love. When you confront an enemy with understanding and forgiveness, your enemy will be blown away and will feel regret and therefore helping you in explaining your point of view.

I train in martial arts... if I have an enemy, and he prefers fighting... I don't fight. I DEFEND. That is why it is called self defense. If it means I get the first punch, then very well, that is what I will do, but the objection you are trying to accomplish while defending yourself is to diffuse the fight and give the enemy the least amount of choices possible to fight you with.

I just have my way with things, and I find it really effective if done with love.

Yea, AFC use niceness as a tool. However, do you not think the nice guy does to. Ok, so it's heartfelt... but why would a niceguy say it in the first place? Because he realizes what an impact it will make on the other person. I, personally, do not think compliments will become heartfelt until you know the person well. You can't tell me when you see a HB10 for the first time and walk up to her your "compliment" will be heartfelt.

So is there a transformation? AFC ----> Nice Guy?
I am not sure, but I do know you can't be a Nice Guy unless you know the person well enough to give heart felt compliments.

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Well, for me, since I love everything in existance, it feels good to ME to give sincere compliments.

The AFC expects get something material in return for his niceness, something of the physical. While the Nice Guy does not expect anything material, thankyous or anything else. The only result that he will get is good feelings in himself. More self love. One can only do this if he loves himself. He projects love because it makes him feel good to project love.

Heart felt compliments are really just compliments about things deeper than the physical. It may feel good to make someone else feel good, and that is not expecting something in return.

Basically all this boils down to is love, and for some reason I feel all.... mushy today, LOL. I have never been so analytical about love, but I will write about this one day.

I can explain more but I am tired and tomorrow is my first day of school.

Ask more questions and I will attempt to answer them another time.

Yea, AFC use niceness as a tool. However, do you not think the nice guy does to. Ok, so it's heartfelt... but why would a niceguy say it in the first place? Because he realizes what an impact it will make on the other person. I, personally, do not think compliments will become heartfelt until you know the person well. You can't tell me when you see a HB10 for the first time and walk up to her your "compliment" will be heartfelt.

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I am sorry, I did not read your reply correctly. Yes it is true what you are saying.

There is a transition and that is when the AFC realizes that he should be nice only when he doesn't expect anything in return.

The reason why I posted this is because the DJ bible discriminates against Nice Guy's, when really TRUE Nice Guy's are different from the nice guy's described in the bible, and should only be referred to as AFC's.

I just realized that I kind of made this post too early in my thinking of this topic, that is why it may seem, a little off subject or sometimes not making any sense..... I just wrote the post "on the spot" and I later I had to edit the post alot, and add some new stuff.

I think this is all kind of AFC.

Taliing about niceness is besides the point. It's not that rudeness is attractive, it's that worrying about whether a girl will like you, and trying to be liked is unattractive.


When you do what you must without being apologetic, you go up in stature in your woman's eyes.

Forget the word niceness. The word I was looking for is compassionate. Compassion is a better word to describe what I mean.

It is not AFC to be compassionate towards others.

Things have been workin out for me better than ever since I started bein more.... compassionate towards others. It is hard to keep it up though.

You can even fake compassion.... but when you think about it, fake compassion IF DONE RIGHT, is actually being compassionate. If done with the "act as if" mindstate, it is actually that you are doing whatever you are acting as if you are doing.

The IF DONE RIGHT thing I said refers to... if you can consciously control your feelings towards another person.

Really, it is all a positive mindstate. It is looking for the beauty in everything. It is just pure awareness with no thought.... or at least no negative thought.

I might be looking for something spiritual by talking about this but the truth is you will gain lots of benefits by being loving and compassionate towards others, if that is what you need to hear. There can be a number of reasons why you choose to be this way.

Yesterday I started bein more compassionate with others and I acheived some interesting results. I wasn't looking for them , but it came.

First of all, when people mirrored it back. They started being compassionate to me, because they felt such a positive energy coming from me. It made me more aware, it was.... consciousness expanding. People noticed me more, they looked like they wanted to join me in a conversation, or at least they wanna share the love with you. I resonated with more loving people, and it is easier to be freindly with people this way, and people started being freindly to me.

I had a.... "everyone is my freind" type mindstate.

I gotta go to school... I hope thjis post helped in unederstanding what I mean.