I'm not much of a party guy so it'd hard for me to start fitting in quickly into groups of people I haven't met before. Today I happened to be in that situation and observed some things about myself and groups of girls, but now I need some advices. Basicly this is a field report (and not a very successful one) and also me asking for advice what to do differently next time.

The day started out pretty boring. One of my friends had a birthday. He invited me, 2 other close friends of mine and then a bunch of kids I don't even know (from a different school). Most of the people at the party ended up being asians, so their interests were school related. So while me and my 2 buddies are sitting on the couch, one kid pulls out his college application and starts discussing the best tactics of filling it out with the other people. Fun...

Us 3 just sat there and talked about other stuff to eachother because we don't enjoy talking about who goes to what college and how much financial aid he'll get all the time. Then after the whole horde went to another room to watch someone play some game on a computer (I bet it was something as entertaining as pacman), we decided that we were getting bored and decided to leave and go somewhere else. It was 5:00 PM when we left.

We came over to one of their houses. Stayed there for about half an hour, listening to some music, and talking to some people on AIM. Then one of them (the one who has the car) decides to drive over to a girl he has a crush on. We're bored out of our mind so we decide to tag along. When we arrive to her place, and wait for her for half an hour to wake up and open the door (don't ask me why she was sleeping at 6:00 PM). She saw one of my friends several times and then another one once or twice so she kind of knew them. She didn't know me and I felt awkward so I just stood there next to my friends. Weird how she just opened her door, let us all in and started talking without any introductions or anything.

Anyway, after about half an hour of monologue she asked us what we wanted to do, but none of us really cared. So she asked if my friend (the one with the car) could give a ride to 2 of her other friends, who were at Ground Round, to her house. We all decided to go, then we got to the restaurant and went in. Both of them already saw both of my friends before and once again I felt awkward just standing there. As we were walking to the car one of the chicks asked me teasingly why I was silent. I said that I just don't like to talk much. (I know it was dumb, but that's the only thing I could really say after not saying anything for about 10 minutes).

So then we headed back towards the house of the first gal and inside the car that chick made another teasing remark about me being silent. I just ignored it. Then, after we arrived back to the house, they decided to watch a movie. The moment I walk into the room that chick starts teasing me again and asking why I don't talk a lot. So once again I replied that I just don't talk in groups.

So we started watching the movie, since there was only one couch it was a bit crowded on it. So that girl sits on the floor and says something along the lines "Hey silent boy, come sit here with me". I said "No, I'll stay here instead". Throughout the whole movie she kept glancing at me and making more teasing remarks, then wave her hand next to me asking me to give her high five, low five and other ****. It was obvious that she was flirting with me, but why the fúck would she do that if she has a boyfriend (even though both of my friends told me he was a complete retard).

Then we played cards, and once again she was teasing me. Then, when it was around 11:00 PM we decided to head home. As we're walking away she runs up after me and asks me to give her another hi-five. I'm already in wtf mood by that time, so I just ignore her and start putting on my shoes, and she asks me why I don't like her, and why I don't want to give her a hi-five. So I told her she had enough hi-fives from me already. Then she tries to steal my shoe while I'm putting my shoes on, although I grabbed it first.

So I thought it was just me or maybe she was just teasing me becuase I didn't talk and there was no attraction. But when I got into the car with my 2 friends, the first thing they started talking about is how she was flirting with me. One of them said that it was so obvious that she was flirting, and the other one agreed and said that he didn't understand why cuz she already has a BF. Then we all agreed that the chicks were way too hyper. And btw, the girl whose house we came over to was HB9 (with cute face and great body) and the one that was flirting with me was HB8.5 and the third one was HB6.5

This experience makes a couple of questions arise. How do I stay more social in a situation like this, how do I start talking when I don't know any of the girls and my friends just start talking to them about stuff? What the hell was that girl who was flirting with me doing? And if she was attracted what was it that got her interested, was it me being quiet? Should I have asked her number and if so then when? And basicly how would you act in situations like this one.

Av some of that! My computer is back up and running. Merry X-mas y'all.

Anyway, maybe I can help a little bit with your questions.

This experience makes a couple of questions arise. How do I stay more social in a situation like this, how do I start talking when I don't know any of the girls and my friends just start talking to them about stuff? What the hell was that girl who was flirting with me doing? And if she was attracted what was it that got her interested, was it me being quiet? Should I have asked her number and if so then when? And basicly how would you act in situations like this one.

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Ok, phew- that's a lot of questions. First lets have a look at this...

I'm not much of a party guy so it'd hard for me to start fitting in quickly into groups of people I haven't met before.

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Right, first problem right here. I think it might be less "I'm not a party guy so I find it hard to talk to new people" and more "I'm not a party guy because I find it hard to talk to new people". A lot of what I get from your questions is that this is an area of your self that you need to work on.

From your very detailed post I got the impression that new people make you nervous. I know how you feel, you have those situations where all your friends know a group of people but you don't, and they all talk about things you don't know about and in the end you just sit there like a lemon.

Yeah it sucks, but it's just another skill that needs improving. Sounds like you've got your work cut out by the sound of it (no offence, we all do). With your other questions, there is no way of knowing why this girl fancied you, and you probably shouldn't care. If you get too caught up in the "why is this happening" part, you miss out on the rewards. Yeah, you should have got her number, yeah, you should have flirted back, yeah maybe you could be in her pants right now. Maybe you just might do the most important thing though and learn from the situation. Learning to talk to a group of strangers is 90% confidence. You're a Don Juan, and if you don't get what they're talking about ask. If you don't know who they are, ask. As soon as you become confident and realise its not a scary thing you'll never feel like a lemon again. So you can't really be taught it, you just have to think about it.

Long winded answer, but its all gold!

but my question is how do I go about working on the party thing, and what suggestions do you have for next situation like this? Also, my friends claim it's because by not talking I stayed mysterious and she was flirting with me because of that, do you think that's the case? Because in that case I can stay silent in groups most of the time as long as I learn when to put in occasional jokes so they don't think I swallowed my tongue.

Mysteriousness, confidence (refusing to supplicate. I would of told her to sit on my lap, haha), and the fact that she probebly just had IL in you from the beggining, because of your looks.

If you go to a party get a few drinks in ya, that will loosen ya up a bit.

Originally posted by Julian
If you go to a party get a few drinks in ya, that will loosen ya up a bit.

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Liquid courage

Anyway, on a serious note. All that is required here is a bit of self improvement, improve your social abilities. How? Practise, practise, practise.