I just recently started using online dating as a way to meet more women. I used to be really against the online stuff and felt like it was only for socially inept loosers, but now I've changed my mind. I've met a number of really attractive girls on line. Of course, there are the occasional scary looking freaks, but it doesn't really matter because you don't have to respond to them
Anyway, I just recently got in contact with an exceptionally hot girl. She looks beautiful in the picture she posted and she mentioned in an e-mail that she's in a sorority at the university. When I meet a girl like this online I really start to wonder WHY she would EVER pay money or even take the time to put herself on an internet dating site. This girl is easily a 9 in the looks department and probably has 20 guys hitting on her everyday.
Well, I now have her attention (she e-mailed me back) and I'm kind of confused about what to e-mail her at this point. I'm sure this girl is getting a thousand e-mails a day, but she DID take the time to write me an e-mail back. I really want to come off as completely different form everyone else who is e-mailing her. Like I said, if a girl is this hot and is in sorority (super-charged social life) and is STILL on-line looking for a guy, she must really be looking for something different than what she is usually getting. Any suggestions I what I can write or plan on doing? Anyone relate?

1. sounds like you can benefit from reading the dj bible.
2. meet her in person, in public asap.
3. spit some game, and take it from there.
4. It is much preferable to pick up chicks in person then the online store.

I've read the DJ bible before. Nowhere does it talk about my specific question. Of course, I know to meet her in public as soon as possible (iIve done this with other girls I've met on line--no chatting online or any other bull**** like that). The thing is, in this particualr situation, I feel like this girl is going to be a little tricker to get with in person than other girls I've met online because it's obvious shes probably getting A LOT of attention from guys already and I want to stand out.
More suggestions please...

NOBODY HAS EVER DEALT WITH ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE? Come on, help me out here!

Originally posted by otr4
NOBODY HAS EVER DEALT WITH ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE? Come on, help me out here!

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First and foremost stop worrying, it's AFC. So what she's fine, so what she's a sorority girl, blah blah blah. She's just another woman online. She could be online because she is tired of AFCs on the street fawning all over her. Online she has the ability to qualify guys.

Since you made it onto her 'shorter' list, don't mess things up by worrying about things that haven't happened yet. You need to turn the tables and qualify HER and she should suspect that when you talk with her.

Get her to the point of feeling that she has to sell her qualities to you and you will do just fine.

I've used online dating before and although there are a few oddballs, weirdos and just plain fugly people to weed through, there are also a lot of normal and very attractive people on dating sites. The decent people use dating sites for a number of reasons...they are pretty busy and don't get out to meet new people often enough to find someone worth dating, they are new to the area and just haven't met many people yet, they work on a computer all day and join to break up the monotony or they may just want to meet people outside of the circle of those they already know.

Here's the rules I go by after having a couple of blind dates with guys I just was NOT attracted to at all...

1) I flat out will NOT meet with anyone unless they provide me with a picture. If they don't have their own method to give you one online or don't have a friend to help them out they can find a recent snapshot and cart their arse down to their local copy shop or printers shop and pay to have them scan and e-mail one to them. They can call around and find a place that will do it. That's how I got my first picture online and it cost all of $10.

2) Because there ARE some freaks online, it is my policy NOT to meet someone right away. I exchange e-mails for a couple of weeks, maybe a couple of relatively short IM sessions to get an idea if you're even interested in the same things or not and if we seem to have a good and easy way of communicating I'll meet him in a public place. If a guy pushes to meet right away or move too fast over the internet, red flags go up. I immediately get the impression that they are either a) just looking for a quick and easy piece of ass or b) desperate and a loser.

Guys...if you give her a picture and she likes what she sees and you can carry on an engaging conversation...she WILL invite you to meet her in person...just bide your time. If after two weeks she hasn't even brought up the idea of meeting you in person after seeing your picture and exchanging a few e-mails and IMing for a little bit, she is NOT going to meet you. The only exception would be if she has to leave town or has some kind of family emergency. If she has more than one of these in a period of two weeks she doesn't really want to meet you. If you IM with her, it's okay to talk a half hour at a time once a day. Don't overdo it and don't write horribly long e-mails. Be funny, engaging, flirty and NOT pushy. If a girl won't show you her picture when you ask for it and send her one of you, she's probably unattractive or really overweight. That's how guys are too. If you won't show her your picture, she will be thinking the same thing.

With the internet, you do have to be a little more patient and less pushy than you might otherwise be simply because many women are a little leery of the eager ******s from dating sites.

Another bit of advice...don't just look at the picture and write an introductory generic e-mail to each woman you find attractive. Women can spot those cheesy things a mile away and it's a huge turn off. Read the profiles and come up with something unique to her that shows her that you looked beyond her picture. It makes all the difference in the world. If you read the profiles you can also usually get a pretty good feel for how you should talk to her and what will keep her interest. Basically, if you're going to even bother trying online dating, don't do it half-assed or it won't pay off. Do it right and you'll get a lot out of it if you are decent looking and don't have the personality of a rock. Spelling and good grammar counts as well. Getting an e-mail or reading a profile that looks like it was written by a 3rd grader is NOT a good first impression to make.

There is an entirely free site international site at www.othersingles.com If you live in a relatively big area you should find a few people there. Another good site that tends to have decent quality people on it is www.matchmaker.com
That one gives you a free trial. You get to write 5 e-mails for free and 10 if you post a picture. You can search your zipcode before joining to get an idea of the kind of people local to you who are members. I don't know of any other sites where you can actually contact people without paying, so I would recommend those for anyone curious about trying it out. If it goes well and you want to pay I'd recommend either www.matchmaker.com or www.cupid.com as the best value. I don't reccomend www.match.com because even if you do pay and write to someone, if they don't pay too, they can't write back. With www.cupid.com if you pay and write, people can answer for free.

I have given her my picture--it's posted online. Thanks for the reply Wyldfire, but still, nobody has directly answered my question--what can I write to this girl to make myself stand out and get her to want to get together soon? I'm sure this girl is getting a bunch of e-mails everyday. Thanks for the help.

No one is answering you because there is no answer to give. Each person is different and a line that might work well on one person might not work at all for another one. You're going to have to find the answer for this yourself. The best way to do that is to get a feel for who she is. Her profile should help you there. Above all, don't put her on a pedestal and just treat her like you'd treat any other person but be flirty, funny and tease a little bit. If you know of any hobbies or likes she has, talk about those kinds of things with her. Ask her questions about herself and don't push too hard or pull back too much. Don't be any easier to catch than she's being. Don't be boring and dull. Humor is best if you are good at it...if you aren't, don't try too hard to be funny because that backfires. Above all else, be confident. Carry yourself like a guy she'd be crazy for not wanting but not too ****y...just a little bit. Hope this helps.

Wyldfire gave fairly good advice, except for chatting on IM--DON'T DO IT. Don't pressure her into meeting too soon, and only communicate with her through email and phone.

Send 2-3 emails tops. These emails should be about something SHE finds interesting, and something that you have done.

Example from personal experience: if a chick is into photography, tell her about some pics of you that you have of a recent vacation. Tell her about some really silly/amusing pic, that you won't show to ANYONE. Of course, she will bug you about it, seeing if you will cave in and give it to her.

This is where you make all sorts of silly, funny reasons why you can't give it. Tell her your modelling agent won't allow you to send it, as it could ruin your "image."

She will find this all amusing, yet frustrating. You will have no problem getting the number when you ask for it. If she plays along with this, she is interested in at least meeting you.

You can IM, but it's a bad idea to talk over 30 minutes or more than two or three times before meeting. Less is more. If you are quick witted and good at playful conversation, using IM in brief sessions can help you. If you struggle here, don't do the IM thing at all if you can avoid it. Some women won't give you their number until they feel they've determined you aren't a freak. This is where IM can help you IF you can converse well because you'll be able to make her feel more comfortable with you. The last thing you want to do is end up spending 2 or 3 hours on IM for several days because you'll both end up being let down when you do meet.

I know IM'ing is rather a bad idea, but I dont think its thaaaaat bad. Just dont overdo it. Actually I guess doing it once in a while and for a limited amount of time (maybe 30 minutes at the most) will actually rise her IL cause itll make her think of you more (keep in mind that u gotta be ****y and funny tho..not a loser). I know a lotta people might disagree with me but I really think its good to do it once in a while cause itll leave her thinking about u. My friend hooked up with a girl and has been with her for like 3 months now after messin around with her for a few weeks and they chatted every damn day all day LOL (I think she isnt g/f material but thats another story). Actually I once got to know a girl online and chatted with her like once or twice maybe even three times a day cause both of us were online a lot (and I neither knew about the damage IM`s can do nor did intend to hook up with her) but she really started to get a crush on me. The time we had spent together in person was like 1 hour at the most..mostly passing each other by in school and saying but "hi" lol....To make a long story short we hooked up later on.

Dont get me wrong though, I think IM`ing is worse that seeing somebody in person but if u just do it once in a while and are funny/****y it wont do much harm I guess.