Hello to all the DJ’s-in-training. I’ve been reading the articles and the board (and benefiting from them) for a while, but finally had to register as I have found myself in a dilemma that I’m not really sure how to handle with the requisite grace and savvy. Fellows, I need your advice.
Without further ado, to my completely non-hypothetical situation. I’ve been working at a new job for a few months now, and have become acquainted with two lovely single ladies: Miss A (let’s call her Amy) is a pretty as hell redhead, somewhat younger than me, quite smart, with a highly extroverted personality. Miss B (Betty) is a blonde, quite cute as well, about the same age as me, sweet, fun to be with and emotionally more mature than Amy. These two women know each other but are not really friends.
For a while now I’ve been making moves, trying to follow the advice on this site to catch Amy (the pretty as hell redhead) for myself before lesser men move in. However, when I recently did come forward and ask her for a date, she very clearly wanted to be just friends. Now, in all honesty, this result did not come as a surprise to me. We don’t have that much in common, and I wasn’t really detecting too high an interest level there. Nevertheless, I decided to go for it, figuring that there was little to lose.
Now, what follows is not wishful thinking by a man denied. As I said, Amy’s ‘just friends’ response came as no surprise to me, I was expecting it. I’m not in anyway depressed about it. Brushed it off with a smile and a casual ‘Oh well, too bad’. My romantic interest in her fell to zero literally within 48 hours, and was instantly replaced by a calm relief.
However, while I’ve been trying to hook Amy and appear nonchalant about it, I have in my narrow-mindedness completely ignored Betty, not really even considering a spark there. However, as I look at things now, in all of my recent social interactions with me, Betty’s been showing high interest, giving me compliments, asking about my hobbies, going out of her way to spend time with me. All this I’ve blissfully ignored. I haven’t just been playing hard to get with her… I’ve completely stonewalled romantically. As irony would have it, that seems to have done the trick! Betty truly seems to be desperately trying to get my attention! Even though I hardly noticed her before, I can definitely picture her with me, and actually now see Betty as a far more compatible partner than Amy.
Now, neither Betty or anyone else at my office knows I’ve been interested in Amy and asked her out, but if I now pair up with Betty, I’m worried what will happen. I don’t think Amy would say anything out of spite, since she never was interested in me anyway, but with the bubbly personality she has (tending to do what she feels instead of what’s smart) the cat could very easily get out of the bag, and the office grapevine will do the rest.
The problem is, I really don’t feel that Betty will be too happy about finding out she’s been my ‘second choice’, and that I moved in on her only after being spurned by gorgeous Amy. Should I forget about both women? Should I just have fun with Betty and hope for the best? Any other ideas?
Without further ado, to my completely non-hypothetical situation. I’ve been working at a new job for a few months now, and have become acquainted with two lovely single ladies: Miss A (let’s call her Amy) is a pretty as hell redhead, somewhat younger than me, quite smart, with a highly extroverted personality. Miss B (Betty) is a blonde, quite cute as well, about the same age as me, sweet, fun to be with and emotionally more mature than Amy. These two women know each other but are not really friends.
For a while now I’ve been making moves, trying to follow the advice on this site to catch Amy (the pretty as hell redhead) for myself before lesser men move in. However, when I recently did come forward and ask her for a date, she very clearly wanted to be just friends. Now, in all honesty, this result did not come as a surprise to me. We don’t have that much in common, and I wasn’t really detecting too high an interest level there. Nevertheless, I decided to go for it, figuring that there was little to lose.
Now, what follows is not wishful thinking by a man denied. As I said, Amy’s ‘just friends’ response came as no surprise to me, I was expecting it. I’m not in anyway depressed about it. Brushed it off with a smile and a casual ‘Oh well, too bad’. My romantic interest in her fell to zero literally within 48 hours, and was instantly replaced by a calm relief.
However, while I’ve been trying to hook Amy and appear nonchalant about it, I have in my narrow-mindedness completely ignored Betty, not really even considering a spark there. However, as I look at things now, in all of my recent social interactions with me, Betty’s been showing high interest, giving me compliments, asking about my hobbies, going out of her way to spend time with me. All this I’ve blissfully ignored. I haven’t just been playing hard to get with her… I’ve completely stonewalled romantically. As irony would have it, that seems to have done the trick! Betty truly seems to be desperately trying to get my attention! Even though I hardly noticed her before, I can definitely picture her with me, and actually now see Betty as a far more compatible partner than Amy.
Now, neither Betty or anyone else at my office knows I’ve been interested in Amy and asked her out, but if I now pair up with Betty, I’m worried what will happen. I don’t think Amy would say anything out of spite, since she never was interested in me anyway, but with the bubbly personality she has (tending to do what she feels instead of what’s smart) the cat could very easily get out of the bag, and the office grapevine will do the rest.
The problem is, I really don’t feel that Betty will be too happy about finding out she’s been my ‘second choice’, and that I moved in on her only after being spurned by gorgeous Amy. Should I forget about both women? Should I just have fun with Betty and hope for the best? Any other ideas?