suavedave
Senior Don Juan
From the book The Principles of Seduction, G. Clayton Viddler
[My bold]
WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO INCREASE VALUE. "[Theodor Reik:] As we realize unconsciously that we are full of shortcoming and failures, we nourish a kind of dissatisfaction with ourselves which moves us to search for this ego-ideal outside ourselves. Thus psychologically prepared, we find a person who seems to have all of the excellent qualities we sadly lack and who is, in contrast to ourselves, apparently self-sufficient and elf-satisfied..."
DETERMINING AND ACKNOWLEDGING THEIR VIRTUES. "[T]o secure a truly impassioned response.... before they surrender completely to love's binding destiny will have one central theme: this involves how many of their superior qualities you will come to see, enjoy and acknowledge. / Before that person sets you up as the center piece of their existence you have to discover some of their finer attributes. You must show that you are moved because you admire and value these virtues of theirs. And you must appear to be distinctly aware of their inordinate value." (182)
ON EXTROVERTS. "Any aspect of an extrovert's personal make-up which lends itself to being 'singled out' as uncommon can serve... Since they are strongly affected by outside frames of reference, a remark like, 'Ive never seen it done that way -- that's pretty unusual,' will show that you are impressed by the palpability of their distinctiveness. When your response to an extrovert serves to differentiate her or him as a unique individual, the rapport they will feel for you is going to be poignant." (177)
ON INTROVERTS. "[W]hat will fascinate them most is how you have overcome any personal difficulties you have put behind you.... situations which you have emotionally transcended are what fascinate an introvert the most. Describing how you handled a problem al;l;allows them not just to sympathize, but it lets them indulge in one of their favorite activities, which is sharing in the mastery of emotional challenges. " (157)
DEVELOP A POLLYANNA ATTITUDE. "A good way to get in step with love's fast paced momentum is to intentionally assume that your new friend admires you -- irrespective of whether they have actually demonstrated that so far. This form of self-suggestion can have two good results. First, by adopting this assumption you create a positive self-fulfiling prophecy. Students of interpersonal relations have repeatedly found that optimistic expect ions are the single most influential factor in predicting lasting bonds. So always give yourself the benefit of the doubt to being with." (130)
DON'T TAKE SIGNS OF DISINTEREST TOO LITERALLY. "The difference in how the respective sexes approach each other during an initial encounter reflect what each one considers appropriate to their own sex role. This is why a woman's restraint about getting immediately too familiar may be part of her underlying desire to do just that". (124)
AI ---> PROCEPTIVITY. T. Perper offers the following definition of proceptivity : ". . . a coordinated sequence of signals whose purpose is to awaken the man's interest." (111)
FIND AND APPROACH THE RIGHT ONES. "[T]he easiest way to seduce someone is to be moved by them irresistibly. There is a real tug exerted by a person you want badly'; your capacity to win them will nearly double because they are so desirable to you..." (83)
[My bold]
WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO INCREASE VALUE. "[Theodor Reik:] As we realize unconsciously that we are full of shortcoming and failures, we nourish a kind of dissatisfaction with ourselves which moves us to search for this ego-ideal outside ourselves. Thus psychologically prepared, we find a person who seems to have all of the excellent qualities we sadly lack and who is, in contrast to ourselves, apparently self-sufficient and elf-satisfied..."
DETERMINING AND ACKNOWLEDGING THEIR VIRTUES. "[T]o secure a truly impassioned response.... before they surrender completely to love's binding destiny will have one central theme: this involves how many of their superior qualities you will come to see, enjoy and acknowledge. / Before that person sets you up as the center piece of their existence you have to discover some of their finer attributes. You must show that you are moved because you admire and value these virtues of theirs. And you must appear to be distinctly aware of their inordinate value." (182)
ON EXTROVERTS. "Any aspect of an extrovert's personal make-up which lends itself to being 'singled out' as uncommon can serve... Since they are strongly affected by outside frames of reference, a remark like, 'Ive never seen it done that way -- that's pretty unusual,' will show that you are impressed by the palpability of their distinctiveness. When your response to an extrovert serves to differentiate her or him as a unique individual, the rapport they will feel for you is going to be poignant." (177)
ON INTROVERTS. "[W]hat will fascinate them most is how you have overcome any personal difficulties you have put behind you.... situations which you have emotionally transcended are what fascinate an introvert the most. Describing how you handled a problem al;l;allows them not just to sympathize, but it lets them indulge in one of their favorite activities, which is sharing in the mastery of emotional challenges. " (157)
DEVELOP A POLLYANNA ATTITUDE. "A good way to get in step with love's fast paced momentum is to intentionally assume that your new friend admires you -- irrespective of whether they have actually demonstrated that so far. This form of self-suggestion can have two good results. First, by adopting this assumption you create a positive self-fulfiling prophecy. Students of interpersonal relations have repeatedly found that optimistic expect ions are the single most influential factor in predicting lasting bonds. So always give yourself the benefit of the doubt to being with." (130)
DON'T TAKE SIGNS OF DISINTEREST TOO LITERALLY. "The difference in how the respective sexes approach each other during an initial encounter reflect what each one considers appropriate to their own sex role. This is why a woman's restraint about getting immediately too familiar may be part of her underlying desire to do just that". (124)
AI ---> PROCEPTIVITY. T. Perper offers the following definition of proceptivity : ". . . a coordinated sequence of signals whose purpose is to awaken the man's interest." (111)
FIND AND APPROACH THE RIGHT ONES. "[T]he easiest way to seduce someone is to be moved by them irresistibly. There is a real tug exerted by a person you want badly'; your capacity to win them will nearly double because they are so desirable to you..." (83)
