David Deangelo says that if a woman hangs out with you/gets together with you/listens to you, after a few minutes of knowing her, that in itself shows interest.

One can argue that yes that is "interest," however, cant that just be being polite?

In my opinion, and this may be whats holding me back, is that I make a woman PROVE her interest. I'll ask her to do something and we will, then I will tell her to call me. If she doesnt THEN i assume she isnt interested. Fair Enough right? if she was interested wouldnt she call?

I think interest is calling just as much as the guy does. Wanting to hang out and offering date ideas.

Deangelo disagrees. How do you all decide what interest really is? Is it just that she is listening to you and being with you?

I had a situation were I saw a girl that I am unsure about, or i should say, we are unsure of what we are with eachother. I saw her talked, and started walking back to my house, she then says, i guess im coming over and i said yea. SHe comes to the house, its new so i show her around, and than we kick it in my room, no moves were made, than i said buy me ice cream and we got ice cream which she paid for.

I took her home and she said, see you around i guess, i said gimme a call this week and lets go play some basketball, i mean she cant be that interested if she said, see you around? I dont know, i dont call that interest. Others might.

What is interest? Besides a girl telling you she digs you and/or making a move.

WHat are you all thinking?

i think women show their interest in different ways. some make it obvious...others wont. they play games. if a women doesn't call when you tell her to maybe she is testing you the same way you are testing her. thats why interest should be judged by a women's actions...not by what she doesn't do. examine her actions up to the point you are at. then escalate the relationship (telling her to [for example] go out to eat....kissing...etc.). this will prove if her interest in you is high enough.

The problem is crystal clear to me. You haven't stepped up to the plate and made your move. By making her "prove her interest" you are coping out and not doing your share. You're trying to get her to take action, and that will not happen. Yeah, in a perfect world it would be even, same amount of calls by both parties, etc. That's not how things are most of the time.

Women will wait 'till you make the first move; they might send the buying signals, and you are supposed to take it further; if you are seeing the signs and don't make a move, you are striking out looking, without swinging; you are a man, you are supposed to approach, get her number, invite/suggest you get together, initiate everything, etc. You might say, "well, it shouldn't be that way, it should be both sides putting the same effort." Well, I got news for you my friend, we can't live in the "shoulds", can't we?

The longer you allow her to keep showing up to your house, spend time with her, calling her, etc., without you attempting to move in on her, the more you will dig yourself more in the the Friend Zone. So be a man and start initiating everything. She expects you to. Either play the game right, or get out, don't play at all. I rather upset you a little bit now, and motivate you to make it happen, than later having you resort to getting advice from the guys in here on what to do with a girl who LJBF'd you.

Oh, and by the way, if you want to seduce this one, stop acting like she's one of your male friends. Play basketball? I don't know too many women/girls who will get turned on by going to play basketball, specially after being in your bed and having had nothing happen.

I hope you are a high schooler. Learn, absorb, put it to use. Make it happen my friend.

wow

Ok, well, im not gonna argue like alot of ppl on here do. I appreciate the advice. However, no, im not a high schooler. MOst of the time ive been hooking up for a night or two, I havent tried to get somethin serious going. With this girl I am tryin that so its a little differnt.

Basketball? Dude, its called an action date. It something where both of you get sweaty and its one on one. Somethin different then dinner and such.

So your suggestion would be to just 'step up.' I dont want to have to 'talk' to her about wahts goin on, but I dont want to just go from kickin it to tryin to make a move. I would like some tact.
Im hopin to party with her this weekend, ill see if it goes anywhere with her.

ANy other ideas people?

"See you around" in your situation, is ******** for "I guess you arent interested..so neither am I"

What do you want ? a written guarantee of her interest level??

She invited herself to your place for christs sake..isnt that interest level enough?? A girl who isnt interested in you would not come over to your pad.

" I took her home and she said, see you around i guess, i said gimme a call this week and lets go play some basketball, i mean she cant be that interested if she said, see you around? I dont know, i dont call that interest. Others might."


Gimmie a call?? again you are trying to test her IL by putting the ball in her court and making her chase you, she knows this..and wont succumb

if you want her to start calling YOU and hounding YOU..you have to build it up to that level..it doesnt happen over night nor by being hard to get..

call her up..hang out..and put the damn moves on her !! forget TACT! you arent a 45 yr old man at church

Some girls are not smart about body language sometimes. They will cross their arms and not figure out that means they are protecting themselves.

Some girls will show interest if you do something.. like if she finds out that some girl is fancying you - she will act jealous. If she doesn't.. then that means she's not interested in you. Girls will do this test too by trying to make you jealous...