For background on me, see my 1st field report:
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=38382
Nothing earth-shattering to tell here. I'm doing it for the benefit of the newbies, to give an idea of how internet dating goes, and also to get constructive criticism on what I did (or failed to do ).

Background on her (from her profile)
7...8 (vacation photo, though not the classic bikini shot, can't see her really well because of what she's wearing).
34, 1m54 (5'1"), slim, non-smoker, social drinker.
Looking for girl-friends or a lover.
No kids, undecided about having some.
"Other" religion.
Post-secondary education.

Initial contact
September 5th.
I sent her a Krynnster style eMail (plays on originality and mystery) which is the approach I use most often. It also includes an element of telling the woman that she needs to respond (to satisfy her curiosity). It's effective on women who are looking for stimulating company, or a STR/LTR, but don't have an "attitude". I also headline it with "Do not open before tomorrow's date..." just to see what she'll do.

She writes back that I shouldn't worry about not a getting a response, as she always responds, even to guys she isn't interested in. She thinks I'm a talented intro eMail writer, and that mine almost looks personal. Basically she's being ****y, and telling me that she's smart enough to see through canned intros.

September 8th.
I laugh at her ****iness and tell her I think it's cute. I tell her I'll have to punish her for opening my letter too soon, so I'm only going to answer her properly tomorrow. Then I shoot a ****y/dominant comment back.

September 9th.
I acknowledge that my intro looks personal, neither confirming nor denying it. I ask her (in a ****y way) to tell me about herself, since her profile only talks about what she wants.

She refuses (in a ****y way) to give me any info, and taunts me to meet her in person if I want to find out.

September 10th (Wednesday).
I tell her I'm glad she has a sense of humour and is playing along. I tease her about not knowing about a pop-culture reference I made in my previous eMail. I say I'm willing to play along with her mystery woman act, since she's been co-operative with me. Tell her I'm busy for the next few days, but will be in Montreal (I live 130 km from Montreal) Sunday evening. I tell her to give me her phone number.

September 13th (Saturday).
She says she's harmless, and gives me her phone number.

September 16th (Tuesday).
I tell her she missed the boat. I was gone for the weekend and really busy (listing all the things I did). Say I'll call her this week, and that I should be back in Montreal within a few days.

Taking it to the phone level
September 18th (Thursday).
Tried calling her, no answer, no answering machine.

September 21st (Sunday).
I waited a few days to call again, in case she has caller ID (don't want to come across as too eager or desperate). It was an interesting and enlightening convo, a perfect example of how some people play a role on the internet. No sign of ****iness whatsoever. In fact, she was shy and introverted, almost submissive. I caught on immediately and took charge of the convo. She even mentioned that she's a bit of a nerd, and I can hear her typing notes while we're talking! lol I tease her about that. I ask what her schedule is like for the next few days. She seems evasive about it, basically telling me that any day/time is fine. I tell her I'll be in Montreal Wednesday. She seems a little dissapointed that it's not sooner. We get into talking about where and what time to meet, and again she seems evasive, and is fine with any time that suits me. I'm thinking "red flag!, she's unemployed (welfare?) and doesn't have a life". I find out she lives near one of the places I'm going, so we set it for noon Wednesday at that place. I then run DD's anti-flake and LJBF/qualifying sequences on her, and cut off the convo.
Time: about 20 minutes.

Date #1 (part 1).

September 24th (Wednesday).
I ran into some work-related complications while driving to Montreal, so I arrived 20 minutes late. I look around the place we had agreed to meet (a fountain in the center of a mall/office complex), and there's no sign of her. I decide to wait another 10 minutes, in case she's late too. Still no sign, so I call her. She's home, told me she was at the fountain, saw a guy talking on his cell-phone that looked like me. When he finished the convo, he looked in her direction, and then walked away. She thought it was me, that I didn't think she was pretty enough and bailed. lol So I told her I'd gotten there late, and I don't do stuff like that. We laugh a bit about it. I ask her if she lives far away. She says 10 minutes walking distance, so she'll come back. I tell her I'll take care of my business, but keep an eye on the fountain.

About 15 minutes later, just as I'm finishing up, I spot her standing next to the fountain. I head downstairs and walk up to her, saying "her name?". She says "No". Now this woman is a bit taller than HB #2's description, but looks just like her picture. So I'm thinking "she just pulled the same stunt she thought I'd pulled on her. Women!". I decided to stand further from the fountain, while keeping an eye on her. She stays there for 2...3 minutes, then walks away. She goes up the escalator, and from the 2nd floor, quickly glances down towards me. I'm thinking "what a loser". But just in case, I decide to play it safe, and wait around longer in case it wasn't her.

So I'm casually strolling around the fountain area, and about 5 minutes later I see, sitting on a park bench near the fountain... my little HB shy nerd-girl! haha! I walk up to her and intro myself, giving her the standard Quebec greeting (hug & kiss on each cheek). She's cute, a solid 8, above average pretty, slim shapely bod. Shoulder-length black curly hair, pretty brown eyes. She looks a lot like her photo, but a bit older (On the photo she looks about 25. It's not a great photo, fuzzy & she's far away, and her hair looks medium brown.). We start walking through the food court, looking for a coffee shop, can't find one so she mentions that she knows one outside. While we're walking, I notice that she sticks really close, and is always looking at me like she's waiting for direction cues. She's definitely giving off submissive vibes. I pick up the ball and "lead" her around. I head for the exit, though asking her for help because I'm not too familiar with this building. She's giving me directions, but walking behind me most of the time. At one point she's directly behind me and I thought I'd lost her (the place was packed, I'm pretty tall and she's short). I was swiveling around trying to see where she'd gone, and she was trying to get in front of me so I'd see her. lol Once we got synced up again, she mentions that she's very short (in a self-conscious tone), sometimes she feels like a child. I take this opportunity to kino her, by standing real close, putting my hand on her head, and using my body as a reference (top of her head = my shoulders lol). I say teasingly "ah, it's not that bad"

We're outside, and I realize that since we took so long to hook up, I should put more cash in the parking meter. So we head to my car. She's following me around like a puppy dog, and I'm thinking "this is her neighbourhood, it's kinda weird, and almost funny". Definetly a submissive type girl, with an online alter-ego.

We go to the coffee shop. I let her order first. HB was standing behind me with no sign of taking out her wallet. I got saved from that awkward moment by the cashier this time (I love her, with afterthought wish I'd left her a bigger tip). She right out said "that will be $3.05 each" I paid for mine, and HB was still just standing there (I think) pretending that she hadn't caught on... I was thinking "pro-dater or gold-digger, oh no you don't". So I step out of the way and the cashier looks at her. HB looks a little startled, pulls out her wallet and pays. We were downtown, so there were no tables outside (it was a beautiful warm sunny day). I find a table near a window, and she's still following me looking for cues, puppy dog style. She's a nice girl, not really difficult to get to talk, but obviously shy and a bit introverted. She doesn't seem to have many interests; mostly health, fitness and computers. We got to talking about her background. Found out she's from Brazil, so we talked about that for a while. Has a bit of an accent, so sometimes I had to lean in and make her repeat. She mentions that she was really good in school, that her mother had pushed her to get a good education and not become a typical Brazilian housewife. I sensed some very subtle resentment in that, as if that's exactly what she would have liked to become. Would fit in with her submissive nature. Hmm.... She's separated, but I noticed she mentioned her ex often, refering to him as her husband, and not ex-husband. If I'd been qualifying her as STR/LTR material, that would have been a red flag (not over her ex yet). But since my angle was either LJBF or f-buddy, it's irrelevant. Actually, for f-buddy I think it could be a plus, less danger of emotional attachment IMHO. What do you guys think? I questioned her about her current life situation again. She was obviously evasive about it, saying her (ex-)husband was into investing, and was now sort of retired since he'd made enough not to need to work any more. And she was in a similar situation (that's the clearest answer I could get). Weird, but whatever... I kept my body language and tone of voice calm and laid-back. I seemed curious, but not eager. There were a few pauses in the convo, but no uncomfortable ones. After a second or two, she'd just start talking again. I teased her about a few things she said, telling her that she'd lost points. That made her smile, but didn't seem to phase her. I did a lot more EC with her than with the last one (see link in 1st post of this thread). She seemed comfortable with it, and never seemed intimidated, just friendly. Because of our seating positions, kino was impossible. I didn't want to make the same mistake as the last time, so after about 20 minutes of convo, I suggested we go walking outside, since it was such a nice day.

We went randomly walking around downtown. She kept looking at me for direction cues. I did a little subtle kino. Brushing her lightly with a hand when I changed directions, or said something important.

We got near a park, so I suggested we go there and out of the traffic. I find a nice spot to sit down, to see how close she'll sit next to me. She stays a comfortable distance away, so I'm thinking "she needs more work". We keep chit-chatting. I think I lost the EC there, since she was sitting next to me now, not sure, I don't remember clearly. We talked mostly about music at the park. South-American especially. Found out she loves music as much as I do, and dancing too, so we talked about that. At one point I noticed an ant on her back, so I brushed it off. With afterthought, I could have capitalized on that more, and teazingly poked her once or twice. I talked about the dances I organize, and my part-time [music] DJ-ing. She offered to get me info on some good south-American singers/groups. I jumped on that opportunity to guarantee keeping in touch with her, saying I'd get back to her about it. Then I decided it was time to bail, before the convo winds down again. I tell her I have stuff to do and have to go.

She seems neutral, though she does offer to walk back to where my car is with me. Just before we got there, she mentions that she also likes doing physical stuff, like biking. That she enjoys just doing something with someone without necessarily talking. I gave her the hug and two kisses again, and told her it was nice meeting her. I also repeated that I'd get in touch with her about the south-American music. She offered to eMail it to me. I said I'd see what works most practically.

Time: 1 hour 10 minutes (not counting the fountain-tag).

Date #1 (part 2).

Conclusion: The date went generally well. I think it was still too long for a coffee date, but was shorter than the last one, so I'm improving. Her shyness made putting a little effort into the convo necessary, but I didn't try and fill the blanks, I left the onus on her. I'm glad I cashed in some of the opportunities she gave me to "qualify" her. I felt less self-conscious about my body-language and posture. I could (and should have) done a lot more kino. I'm sure she would have been receptive to it. I'm realizing that I have a hard time with kino. My Achilles Heel is initiating physical contact with a new woman, and building attraction, which is related of course. Kino makes me feel uncomfortable, as if I'm doing something that's wrong. I tend to want to go directly from the "interest" to the "rapport" state (see Slickster's "States of Attraction"). But at least I did some this time. I'm improving

I'd estimate her IL before the date at 8, and 6 after. I've gotten very good at building interest during the eMail phase, and on the phone. But I'm still struggling with the actual 1st date. I think this one went better than the last one, but I still need more practice and improvement, to keep the IL at least where it was at the beginning of the date. I'm fairly confident I'll see her again, I'd say 50%. I will have to get a lot more kino in, and C&F her some (I didn't really do much, except the bit about her losing points at the coffee shop). I plan to capitalize on that hint she dropped by suggesting we go biking around town as a next date. The fact she mentioned this makes me think that she'd like to see me again. What do you guys think? The only downside to biking I see, is that she knows the trails around Montreal, and I don't, so she'll have to be the guide. During the date, she very clearly showed that she likes to be led by the guy. Any ideas on how I could handle this paradox? Of course biking will make kino a little difficult, but we can "take breaks" sometimes. Hmm.... I could even bring a blanket in case we come across a nice spot to sit and admire the view. I just need to work on building my boldness level up. Any sugestions on how to achieve this would be greatly appreciated. Along with any other constructive criticism of course...

good job. can you show me an example of this "Krynnster style eMail"? thanks

sounds good. All in all, I think this chik is just, well, boring! LOL She seems to lack any charm, wit and overall personality. I give her IL maybe a 5. Enough for a second date, but why even bother? Your gonna get bored with her quickly. I bet she is lousy in bed as well.

The whole situation with her ex is weird, obviously a red flag. However, who cares? NEXT her, and get back out there. and again, work on keeping the dates shorter.

Good Field report. Goes to show that the more of these dates you go on the better you get.

This chick sounds boring as hell, but i say don't NEXT her. Keep her around for practise.

-iceH

Originally posted by bman
good job. can you show me an example of this "Krynnster style eMail"? thanks

Click to expand...

A Krynnster style eMail is basically one in which you tell a story or make up a scenario (preferably C&F, though depends on the girl's personality), in which the girl plays the role of the main character. You also have to include elements which make you come across as unusual and mysterious, and others that spike her curiosity and incite her to write back. I could paste one of mine here, but they're in French, so probably not much help to you. lol I read an article on this approach on the main site about a year ago, can't remember the title. Do a search on "Krynnster".

Originally posted by myfriendblu
All in all, I think this chik is just, well, boring! LOL She seems to lack any charm, wit and overall personality. I give her IL maybe a 5. Enough for a second date, but why even bother? Your gonna get bored with her quickly. I bet she is lousy in bed as well.

The whole situation with her ex is weird, obviously a red flag. However, who cares? NEXT her, and get back out there. and again, work on keeping the dates shorter.

Click to expand...

Thanks for the feedback. I agree she's not the most interesting one I've run into. And she doesn't have any kids either; red flag right there. haha! Glad to see my IL assesment is similar to your's, maybe I'm getting the hang of this. Why bother?... Because I need dating practice, that's why. Prospects are hard to come by and a lot of work for an old man like me. I'm not in college surrounded by HBs 24/7. It's quite possible she's lousy in bed, only one way to find out. hehe Anyways, that's not necessarily my goal. If anything else comes of it, fine. If not, fine too. Yeah, the deal with her ex is definitely weird. Her living conditions too. But I don't consider her LTR or even STR material, so it's not really relevant. I agree I have to keep putting effort into getting these coffee dates shorter. I'm aiming for 30 minutes. It's hard for me, I'm charming and have a rich personality, and I'm a motor-mouth. haha! Wit needs work though...

Originally posted by icehot
Good Field report. Goes to show that the more of these dates you go on the better you get.

This chick sounds boring as hell, but i say don't NEXT her. Keep her around for practise.

Click to expand...

Thanks. Yep, kinda boring, but I'll try to milk as much dating experience as I can out of her.