De-zy, Jake Steed and a few others will know about this girl that I am going to bring up again.

First, this is NOT a oneitis. I could care less whether this girl was my friend or more than. I am just frustrated trying to decide what it is she wants. I'd like to hang out with her either way (relationship IF I had to choose).

Here's some QUICK background. Went to highschool together, prom together as friends. Didnt see her (or talk to her) at all during her 4 years of college out of state. A month before she was graduating we talk online for the first time in years. Sent her a pic of me and she said something like "WOW you look different" in a good way. Literally seconds later she suggested we meet up when she comes home. We go out for drinks for a couple hours when she gets back, good connection but I thought it was as friends.

Second time we go out is for food/drinks but she wears a knockout summer dress type of an outfit, perfume etc. She looks smoking and I had NOT planned this as being a "date" thought it was a friendly thing. Me being an idiot didnt kino her at all or make any moves. Driving her home she gets a call to go to a party and asks me to go with her so I do. We judge the party as a flop and leave shortly after. When I take her home I once again do nothing like an AFC that I am trying not to be.

I realize she had interest and she was playing NO games at all and that I probably messed things up. I didnt end up calling her back for a week (stupid me) which I then asked her out to dinner. She has an excuse and we dont go out, she doesnt call back to reschedule. I think it's over with and NEXT her (more like she next'd me). We dont talk for almost 2 weeks and then she messages me online and we start talking and she asks me to go to some festival with her this past saturday. I do, we are together from 4pm till 3am in the morning drinking constantly and walking around town bar hopping. Ran into people we knew along the way and hung out with various others. Nothing happened other than her getting sh*tfaced and me driving her home at 3am. We both had a lot of fun though and talked then next day and we've pretty much talked online since (the past couple days).

Now she always seems very excited to talk to me online. We were for some reason talking about cape-cod today and how she's never been there (we live like 2 hours away from the cape). Told her how great it was and that she has to go and that I'd take her there sometime in August. She pretty much seemed ecstatic when I told her this and I also mentioned that to drive out to the tip of the cape would be 3 hours so get this she says "We could make a weekend trip out of it!!!!!!" A weekend trip??!?! Do friends that have barely hung out together in years (we didnt really hang out at all in highschool either) just go on a weekend trip together!?!?! She kept reminding me of how excited she was and that we should "definately go!"

I know this about her: She's the hopeless romantic type that wants serious long term relationships. She's not the type that would ever have a ONS. Parents are very old-school religuous type. She's real outgoing sometimes and real shy some other times. She always seems so excited to talk to me online but is more reserved when we are out together. She isnt the flirty/touchy type of person.

Perhaps she's the type of girl that does NO initiating herself and requires the guy to make all moves, even the smallest and she keeps trying to give me another chance? lol.

So what's up with her wanting to go away for a weekend with me? Need advice!!!

Gotta go to work, will check up later tonight.

Hesitation leads to masturbation. All you gotta do is make a move. You're already close to LJBF territory, if not in it. If a girl wants to hang out with you for the weekend, she either wants to get some action, or you're trusted so much that she knows you won't make a move on her. So, time to make a move and find out which it is. You didn't even talk to this girl a few months ago so you've got nothing to lose.

Of course, make your move.

But there are three ways this can go.

1st. She says "What took you so long? I want you too." Pretty obvious which way you should go after this.

2nd. She is a little shocked or pretends that she is a little shocked because she thought you two were just friends. She doesn't outright reject your advances but doesn't go for them either.

You have to give her some time or a few days or even a week to decide if she wants to reslot you from the friend to the lover category. Chicks do NOT make this leap on the spot unless they have always slotted you in the potential lover category in the first place. She will need time to think about it, bounce it off her friends etc. etc. It will take some time.

You remain calm, cool, collected, ****y and funny, no big deal attitude, until she tells you what her "permanent" decision is. Her initial shock reaction may seem like a rejection to you but it isn't until she gives you the firm final decision. You do not pressure her because flake is the answer that you get if you do.

3rd. You are only a friend to her and she will very quickly and firmly rebuff your advances.

Move on in this case unless she has lots of hottt friends or provides really good social proof.

The biggest problem in this situations is that the guy (you) is not ready to deal with each one of these possibilities happening and is not prepared to think on his feet as it is happening.

Most of the time, the guy will go in assuming one or the other reaction is the most likely.

In my experience, all three are about equally likely. In 1.5 of the 3 possible reactions, you get the girl if you have prepared yourself in advance.

Hmm...tough to say what she thinks of you. Let's go off what we do know based on your short time spent together.

-she obiviously enjoys your company
-she has a somewhat physical attraction to you (based on your pic you sent her)
-and she get's mad drunk in front of you.

I think the real thing you need to tell us is what your attitude is like around her? Are you Alpha, C/F with confidence. Do you get the impression that when you talk to her there is chemistry between you two? The answers to these questions will tell you what you want to know.

Be careful bro there is just as high a possiblity that she only thinks of you as a friend and enjoys your company. If your "extra nice" and haven't pushed any buttons with her thus far, she might have LJBF you over that 2 week spand when you guys didn't talk.

Lastly if she hasn't LJBF you, you need to act SOON!!! The longer you wait the closer you are to losing her. UNLESS, you've been C/F and are completely getting the vibe from her. I don't think you are because you wouldn't be asking that question then. Let us know what goes down.

Originally posted by Pimp-sicle
I think the real thing you need to tell us is what your attitude is like around her?

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This is the problem. The first 2 times we went out (2nd time we went out I really think she had a high IL) I was thinking just friends. I didnt really flirt or kino, at all. Then the 3rd time we went out which was this past saturday night I kino'd the hell out of her. Started out slowly, bout halfway through the night I was brushing her hair back behind her ear before I'd talk close to her ear (loud bar). And towards the end of the night we had our arms around each other (probably mostly because she was somewhat drunk). She didnt really reciprocate the kino but she didnt back off either. By the end of the night we had run into some old friends from highschool, one of which she hated so she was drunk and complaining about how much she hated that girl until we left which was kind of a turnoff.

But anyways, when I talk to her online which is once every other day or so for maybe 20-30 min I am crazy C&F. For some reason when I talk to girls online I am a god at C&F and I have them laughing the whole time. Maybe this is why she's always so excited to talk to me online but doesnt seem AS enthusiastic when we're together, I am just not as good at being C&F in person but I still do what I can. I am definately not AFC when we're together though, during conversations and by the way I interact with her and others around her. I guess I could be called AFC for not making a definitive move on her to try and figure out what she wanted.

Maybe she's a female version of AFC and will not make any sort of move or say anything herself until I do? I just do not know what to do or say to her to get a real answer. It's not like I can say "do you like me as a friend or more?!?!" hahah wish it were that easy.

*edit* Oh yea I forgot to add this, dont know if it's anything important. A couple days ago she asked me if I could drive her to the airport Thursday (visitting a friend for the weekend). I dunno if it was some sort of chump test or not but I told her I was going golfing that day with some friends. So she said that it was ok and that she could just get her dad to do it if I couldnt. Told her once again I had plans =P This was yesterday. Today was the whole weekend trip talk where she seemed all ecstatic.

You have to go for it. Not taking her to the airport was great. You can take her to Cape Cod but MAKE A MOVE. Do not worry about losing a friendship... you don't need a girl "friend"... get some guy friends. GO FOR IT GO FOR IT GO FOR IT... you will probably succeed. If she turns you down then you know she is playing you for an AFC... imagine her thinking you would drive her to Cape Cod just to be friends... it angers me just thinking that a girl would think that about any man... DON'T BE AN AFC!

Dietzcoi

Originally posted by dietzcoi
imagine her thinking you would drive her to Cape Cod just to be friends... it angers me just thinking that a girl would think that about any man...

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Ditto. I said we'd go to the Cape sometime in august so that it'd give me some time to figure out what she's thinking. There's no way in hell I'm going away for a weekend if I aint gettin any.

A) She's a chick.

B) You're not.

C) She's going out of her way to set up dates with you.

Get the picture?

Sheesh...

BGMan