This is somthing that ive noticed works well for almost all social situations and especially with relationships. This rule also works with both males and females also.

For some reason people like to put expectations levels on others for whatever reason. in my experience i've noticed that these expectation levels can lead to disaster in relationships. Setting yourself up psycologically for dissapointment is typcally what happens. This is especially true when trying to pick up, date or persue a relationship with a female.

Girls typically want what they can't have. If you act too needy and desperate then it makes you look weak and they dont want that. If you act like you dont give a **** your chances increase however you dont want to be completely insensative and come off like a jerk. For some reason all women are attracted to some kind of "Bad Boy" but with a little bit of sensativity. So thus when dating or conversing with females the more your emotional expectations are left at 0 the better you can come off to them and the better your relationship will be (if that is what you're looking for)

In other words tell yourself it doesnt matter if she likes you or not or it doesnt matter if you get laid or not. Women have a way of picking up the "i wanna get laid" vibe very easily and can most of the time work against you. If you come off as though you dont give a **** weather you get laid or not (even though you really do) the woman is more likely to think you have enough confidence to not care one way or anything thus making you more attractive to them. You also appear more mysterious, they cant figure you out yet and that makes you more attractive also.

Showing interest is important on first contact however showing confidence is MORE important and is your key to success. Since our confidence as males is dependant on the ego the ego must be told that it doesnt matter what happens (keeping your expectation level at 0) and you're left to go either in the +'s or -'s

If you expect that you're not going ot get laid, or "shes out of my league" or "im too ugly for her" ect. then your results will most likely be just that. If you expect to get laid, and you already psycologically told your penis that hes going to be swimming tonight and it doenst happen your penis will be mad at you leaving your ego negatively affected. That leaves your confidence lower and women have a way of picking up on that. You then come off as too needy again. If you keep that expectation at 0 your hopes are less likey to be diminished and your ego is left in tact.

Even after you've been with a girl for a while the same rules apply. If you expect her to call you and she doesnt then you're left with dissapointment. If you expect her to like you or to even buy you a birthday gift and she doesnt, same thing. If you get rid of the psycological expectations alltogether then you have nothing left to disapoint yourself.

People will surprise you no matter what. Even your best friends. the less you expect out of them the less people's disapointing features will affect you.

Will a guy try to get laid if he thinks it doesn't matters if he gets laid or not?

Originally posted by DjDreamer
Will a guy try to get laid if he thinks it doesn't matters if he gets laid or not?

Click to expand...

Yes. Next question. . .

You believe success with women comes when you think asexual?

Do you turn off your stereo if it disturbs the neighbors? You don't set the volume to low or use headphones?

Good advice. I was just telling my new "DJ apprentice" how all the times I've ever gotten a ONS or even gotten a girl's number, it only happened when I went out with no expectations. This is the attitude that really helps put everything else in place. It makes it SOOO much easier to do everything right, without even thinking about it.

There is so much truth to this thread that it makes me sick.

This is how it works.

Give up all hope of ever getting laid again but still continue to live a fairly happy existence (if you can) and every now and again (although not nearly often enough) a girl will pick you up.

Unfortunately I have had more success with this than with any DJ tactic.

Sad but true

I'm glad im not the only one that thinks this way. This attitude has always worked for me and i found myself either going home and getting lucky or for sure getting laid on the first date.

You can be passive or agressive in your approach but the main thing is that this attitude adjusts your confidence transmitter therefore adjusting the female's confidence reciever. (Yes women can smell confidence better then men can smell p*ssy)

Its like the bassline. Get this and everything else falls into place. You walk into the club, tell yourself "It doesn't matter if i get laid tonight or not" and go on about yourself drink, have fun, dance enjoy yourself and women will notice this. If you vicariously live your life in happiness without expectation your confidence will show it and the females pick up on this more then clothes your wearing or the car you drive....trust me

When you get laid, your "get laid" confidence meter is higher and therfore your ego doesn't care as much about getting laid again as much because the meter slowly goes back down. Women pick up on the "i wanna get laid" needy vibe and therfore go after the guys that are getting some more recently then the guys that havent gotten any in a while. Its because guys that get laid more often are considered a more worthy mate to them. Anyways when you havent gotten any in a while, you want it more thus your ego and penis says "GIVE ME P*SSY!!" to your brain. This I think produces a pheromone as well as behavior that females pick up on. If you just got laid in the club next door then your chances of getting it again are higher because you dont give off the "i need p*ssy" pheromone/vibe. Killing the psychological barriers in your brain that give off this "i wanna get laid" vibe is what leaving the expectation at 0 is and does.

This philosophy works with other types of relationships also. I can write more on it, but this is my DJ version i guess. To summarize when it comes to any relationship always just go with the flow.

I know my posts can be long sorry!

Once more, with feeling...

The DJ Mantra:

"Be without desire."

"Be wonderful"

"Be gone."


90% of everything you read on in the forums and The DJ Bible boil down to those three simple sentences.

Syncronc cleared up my confusion abut this topic in the other topic similar to this...

Originally posted by syncronic: but more or less just not have any expectation on what she does from that point cause she might be the best thing to happen in your life or sent from hell to destroy you.

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My Epiphany: Ones demise can be obtained by clinging to that which 'appears' good.

Now "don't care if you get laid or not" maks sense to me.

It's like what Elvis said, "walk like an angel, talk like an angel but you're the devil in disguise". Being fixated with a woman that appears angelic will lead to shock if she reveals her delishness.

At a club it's best to go with the flow. It's best to have perpetual happiness...that idea seems like Taoism..

Originally posted by DjDreamer
At a club it's best to go with the flow. It's best to have perpetual happiness...that idea seems like Taoism..

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Precisely. In fact, my so-called "DJ Mantra" is a quote from the movie, The Tao of Steve.

Originally posted by syncronic
I'm glad im not the only one that thinks this way. This attitude has always worked for me and i found myself either going home and getting lucky or for sure getting laid on the first date.

You can be passive or agressive in your approach but the main thing is that this attitude adjusts your confidence transmitter therefore adjusting the female's confidence reciever. (Yes women can smell confidence better then men can smell p*ssy)

Its like the bassline. Get this and everything else falls into place. You walk into the club, tell yourself "It doesn't matter if i get laid tonight or not" and go on about yourself drink, have fun, dance enjoy yourself and women will notice this. If you vicariously live your life in happiness without expectation your confidence will show it and the females pick up on this more then clothes your wearing or the car you drive....trust me

When you get laid, your "get laid" confidence meter is higher and therfore your ego doesn't care as much about getting laid again as much because the meter slowly goes back down. Women pick up on the "i wanna get laid" needy vibe and therfore go after the guys that are getting some more recently then the guys that havent gotten any in a while. Its because guys that get laid more often are considered a more worthy mate to them. Anyways when you havent gotten any in a while, you want it more thus your ego and penis says "GIVE ME P*SSY!!" to your brain. This I think produces a pheromone as well as behavior that females pick up on. If you just got laid in the club next door then your chances of getting it again are higher because you dont give off the "i need p*ssy" pheromone/vibe. Killing the psychological barriers in your brain that give off this "i wanna get laid" vibe is what leaving the expectation at 0 is and does.

This philosophy works with other types of relationships also. I can write more on it, but this is my DJ version i guess. To summarize when it comes to any relationship always just go with the flow.

I know my posts can be long sorry!

Click to expand...

what about the girl who make out with lots o guys, date none, then they trun out to be a (OMG) a VIRGIN.
I swear this society bases your value/status on how many times your **** was swallowed by the pink stink.

Originally posted by MoMurda
what about the girl who make out with lots o guys, date none, then they trun out to be a (OMG) a VIRGIN.

Click to expand...

Same thing there. It doesnt matter if she's a virgin or not, leaving your expectation level at 0 will make even a virgin comfortable enough to have sex wtih you.

Originally posted by MoMurda
I swear this society bases your value/status on how many times your **** was swallowed by the pink stink.

Click to expand...

Well women base your value as a mate on societies standards. Meaning the more you get laid the better suited you are as a mate.

Syncronic is right. Leaving your expectation at zero is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs there is. Blue Elf's idea of "not giving a F*ck" is similar to this.

If you want to get women, don't think about getting women, and they'll come to you. It's even true for that one woman who likes you but is reluctant to go further because you're too needy. If you just keep your expectations at zero and not give a f*ck then everything falls into place.

BGMan

Ok....

This all makes sense, in a reverse-psychology way of looking at it.
My problem is that, in order to not desire women, I'd have to completely shut them out, not talk to them, not be close to them (at least the ones I find attractive). This doesn't sound like a recipe for success to me.

I was at a rave one time, and using such tactic... not caring what the ****... I just dansed my ass off, and I noticed at least 10-15 girls giving eye contact...

Unfortunately, this excess of women checking me out worked to my disadvantage (by the way, it was a one room rave with like 50 people), because I would have to have picked the one that was interested first shot because everyone would have seen who I was going for....

Sadly, I would probably end up doing the same if the situatoin arose again...

So, yes this tactic is effective, sometimes almost too effective.
Be Prepared!

Ol'BlueEyes you can either have a fear of rejection or you can leave your expectation level at 0.

Having a nonchalant approach when dealing with women is magical...it provides mystery...

Persons who don't base their self worth on a strange woman's approval are strong minded. They're not desperate. They are honorable regardless of if they get laid or not

I don't want to get to in-depth with this topic, but the fact is, the basic premise is true:


THE LESS YOU FOCUS ON GETTING LAID, THE MORE LIKELY IT IS TO ACTUALLY OCCUR


One of the first gems of wisdom I ever figured about women, long before I ever found this board....


Who says life or women make any sense?

the truth

Yeah, i feel like some people in this thread are on the right track, but others are veering off..

My 2 cents:

-> Its dropping the yearning and grasping to getting laid that will free you to let it just happen.

There's a subtle difference between dropping the desire and yearning to be laid, and in trying to appear as if you don't care.

Some people will go out and say they don't care about getting laid or picking up.. and at the same time check out a girl with a look like a beggar who's been living on scraps for a month.
The desire is still seething underneath.. maybe even subconsciously, since consciously such a person is saying "i don't care.. i don't care.. i'm not looking for anything"..

and later on in the night goes home to bat off or worse, get smashed so at to further supress the desire and feelings of failure.

How do you drop your expectations and dog yearning ..

1) acknowledge they are there.. you wanna get laid, and you are kind of hoping it will happen..

2) feel it.. feel it in your body.. its there.

3) allow it to dissipate and release.

step 3 will occur naturally if you do 1 and 2 right.

This is infinitely different to saying "i don't wanna get laid tonight" with a look on your face that says "if i don't get anyone tonight i am gonna die.. or at least do some self damage shyt such as drinking too much"

Good stuff syncronic.

The zero expectation approach is a good way to keep your calm when opportunity with an HB comes about.

When expecting yourself to "get some" when going out clubbing, you instantly put pressure on yourself. That pressure turns into being overly aggressive or needy to accomplish the goal of banging the HB, getting 5 women's phone numbers, or whatever.

When you go out with a nonchalont attitude, you set yourself apart from the needy AFC's only wanting one thing from a woman.

This can work against you, however, if you take the zero expectation to the extreme. If you have so little interest in wanting to date women that your physical, personal, and social attributes are ignored, then, it becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy.

You expected nothing, so you got nothing.

Gotta walk that fine line.

I can testify to this zero expectation thing, as almost every time I've met a new girl, it was exactly in a zero expectation moment.

There is definitely something to the influence it has on your attitude.