I just realized something, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was at the movies with two female friends of mine (but they don't matter). After the movie we waited outside for our rides to get there. I was trying to have a confident look on me, back straight, hands by my sides, etc etc like they always tell you to do.

But I was way uncomfortable, I could feel it and I think my friends could feel it too. Conversation was sparse and the things I said were pointless and stupid. It was awkward and I didn't like it.

Then as I reflected on this when I got home I realized something: It doesn't ****ing matter what the hell you're doing with your hands or how you hold yourself, it's what you are thinking. At that time at the movies, I wasn't thinking anything except the physical. I had no reassurance of myself. It's all what you say to yourself and what you believe. If you can't do that, then you're screwed. It doesn't matter how you stand, it will be unauthentic. Forced. AWKWARD.

However, if you firmly believe in yourself, and keep telling this to yourself in your head, then you win. Your posture will change. You couldn't give two ****s about what your hands are doing. You enjoy yourself and live in the moment.

From this day on, I will never fake confidence again.

Good man...
You discovered one of the most important things in our way...confidence relies only in yourself...nothing from the outside can shake it...

Have a good new life !

BBB

Bravo!

Originally posted by RedHerring (emphasis added)
However, if you firmly believe in yourself, and keep telling this to yourself in your head, then you win. Your posture will change.

Click to expand...

Ta-da, you win!

It's like this: how you hold yourself can (and does) influence what and how you think, but holding yourself a certain way to think certain things and certain ways is, in a word, backwards.

Way to go, RedHerring. Keep it up.

Well... heres the thing... physical depiction of confidence [posture] can be VERY uncomfortable if you are not used to it. So you don't usually stand head up chest out, 1/2 smirk on your face cuz your so sexy... the first time you do, its gonna feel REALLY weird. But, every day, practice standing a tincy bit more cinfident than usual, and by the end of the month you'll be standing tall and prowd and you won't know the difference.

hahaha, well done. im truly glad that you figured this out for yourself.

but ur title is a bit deceiving, confidence has something to do with the physical. have you ever had to dress up in a tux or suit? chances are if u had you felt more confident in one then in civilian clothes. am i right?

confidence is both physical and mental: 25% physical 75% mental.

~ivan