I've just heard about the pullback a girl might do if she is atleast somewhat interested in you. I'm interested in this because I feel like I'm in this stage right now. A couple weeks ago, me and this girl were going great, but now it seems like she did the pullback thing. She is busy all of the sudden, has finals to study, etc. I feel like her interest level has gone down because I say we should do something, but she says she is busy or something like that. Is this the part of the pullback thing or a test thing or what? Any comments or information on the pullback? Does it mean she is not interested anymore or what?

Yup..men push forward..woman pull back...man pulls back..woman comes forward

she maybe interested in you..but she senses you are interested in her more than she is in you..pull back..put a condom on your head..oops..thats pull out..sorry

Don't get "clingy"

Where are things at with this gal?

If you haven't bedded her and been properly "going out," time to direct your efforts elsewhere. Even if you have, it may be time.

Whatever you do, don't get "clingy," tell her how much you love her, or anything like that. Pull away a bit, and when she does get a hold of you, tease her and be playful. Too many guys wuss out, and then that's the end of it.

Don't hand her your nuts, or she'll crush them.

im in this situation miself with this girl im DJing . last friday night she told me she was grounded but i guess now she wants me to meet her and her friends at a club . but ive keeped it cool havent rushed her or any thing . so my advice to you is stay calm and remain confident about yourself and just like these other DJs told you dont wuss out and hand her your balls either let her be the one to pursue you not the other way around ok .


LATEZ!!! F LOVE , LOVE TO F....

The pullback phase is pretty common actually. Unless the girl has astronomically high IL in you, she will, at some point show signs of disinterest or flakiness, even if she may in fact be interested.

Remember, women by and large are always looking for the bigger and better deal (BBD). So, before investing her time and emotional energy in a relationship, she will see what else is out there before officially choosing you. Hence, when she disappears, she may be dating other men to test the waters.

The best course of action is to do nothing. That is, once you sense her IL declining, you do the same. Don't call her, don't e-mail, etc. If she contacts you, you act emotionally detached as if you were having fun while you were not talking to/seeing her. Usually, her IL will shoot up, and that is when you seize control of the relationship, especially if her IL is higher than yours.

So my best advise is to chill, see other women and have fun. The key is to date other women and not sit by the phone waiting for her to call which may or may not happen.

Ok, I plan on not officially nexting her, but seeing other people and see if she comes back.

I think "the pullback" should be explained more somewhere in the Bible because I think a lot of newbies (myself included) get all worried when this happens. We try and see where we messed up, but maybe we didn't yet. We mess up by acting clingy when she does the pullback.

the pullback is explained in "Men are from Mars/Women Venus"

I hate Dr. Grey..because his whole book is aimed at changing men instead of women bowing to guys

He assumes women are more emotionally mature..and tends to side wth women more

that fag

Yes, pullback should be explained

It's somewhere in that long Bible, I think, but I can't find it. Pullback is a HUGE aspect of relationships that is not explained. Everyone here is in for nexting, mouthing off to women, or trying to get closure, or force something.

The whole dynamic of being a DJ is acting like nothing is bothering you, even if it is, or not having it bother you. It's about maintaining self control and being proud of yourself and not having another person be in control of your emotions and self-esteem.

The pullback is a given in most budding relationships. Women get nervous, re-check their feelings, think about their immediate past relationships, and go from there. They almost always pullback.

If a guy doesn't force the issue, acts like everything is OK (even if he's grinding inside), has a smile on his face, and shows that this doesn't bother him, most women will return in some way and are somewhat amazed that this didn't bother the guy.

Why? Because the majority of the male species are AFCs and they let these things rattle them. I've seen AFCs from 18-50 years old and it's very unappealing to women.

Act cool, confident, don't call or e-mail, be in control, date a few others, and something will happen, I guarantee it.

Meanwhile, more discussion is needed on pullback. Women really need to comment on this, particularly on this board.

I agree completely with the pullback. I did not know about it until a few weeks ago. I 'dated' a woman for 2 weeks and then she basically disappeared. She cancelled one date and I called her twice after that and left messages. I decided not to call her and heard nothing. I broke the rule and emailed her a story I knew she would be interested in. She responded quickly but only to thank me. I wonder if I should be calling her to make dates but something tells me if she is interested she will call me. I already have set up 2 dates with 2 other women. Got to move on!
We men have to realize that by obsessing on one woman we are doing are own c*ck blocking by messing up our aura when we met other women. You must give the air that you are a cool and confident guy even when you are hurting inside. Nothing makes the hurt go away faster than meeting another woman who is interested in you. Ideally you would want to have a group of 9 or 10 women wanting you and you get to choose the best one. Isn't this the whole idea of this forum?

Sometimes a pullback occurs because she is genuinely busy. No "bigger better deal" crap. I'm embroiled in Final Exams right now, and I'm sure this girl I've been seeing is pissed as hell. I feel bad, but what can I do. I have my priorities. That could be a reason why shes pulling back -- after all, you said she was busy with Finals. But of course, that may not be the only reason. It is a reason to consider, however.

Excellent thread guys, the pullback is a very common situation it seems. Right now I've expereinced that, she went for me first, we went out twice then she pulled back. I've cut off all contact and now she is coming back. Honestly I haven't experienced this all that much untill recently. Things used to either go good for a while or go bad and just end, but in college, dealing with some HB's now I'm noticing the pullback is quite common. I'm still trying to figure out the dynamic of this whole thing lol

I've actually done the pullback on a chick. Yes, even guys can do it. I made out and petted her, and the fact that it was so easy for me to get a girl who had never kissed to do that within one hour turned me off. I'm staying away for a few days, then going back to see what's up.

I read about something like The Pullback in Louis & Copeland's "How to succeed with women".
They called it the "Why not" situation; after you make a good first impression with a girl, she later asks herself "why not" and quickly finds an answer.
L & C advise to "persist in making her feel good and she will eventually see how wonderful you are". Well, I personally field-tested this advice. . . and I know for certain those guys are full of sh1t.

I not sure about acting like everything is still ok when the girl pulls back. This happened to me recently and i confront her on it, saying that i'm done and i think its time we both move on.

AFter i said this its like a hit a hot spot...she changed like that and was afraid of losing me.

I say if a girl gives you the pull back confront her and say i dont have time for games, i'm done with this. If they do like you, they will wake up pretty fast.

I didn't know that women would pull back and wait and see...I lost my cool and wrote e-mails to her that said I liked her and all that and basically said goodbye if I didn't hear from her. Will she come back to me if I stop contacting her from now on? Or did I blow the thing already by either a) telling her that I liked her or b) sort of saying goodbye?

Originally posted by Digital Mastermind1
im in this situation miself with this girl im DJing . last friday night she told me she was grounded but i guess now she wants me to meet her and her friends at a club .
LATEZ!!! F LOVE , LOVE TO F....

Click to expand...

Grounded? How young are the girls you are seeing? Do they need their parents permission to stay out past 10?

hahaha, im just messing. no hard feelings.

Some girls do that pullback stuff too!

It's a stupid game between men and women!

Whoever has the higher interest level, the other one will pull back!

Some girls have such bloated ego's, and they will wait forever until the guys comes back and tries to talk to him/ask them out.

Bottom line, it pi$$e$ me off when chicks pullback!

I think it is a good idea to tell 'em off and take them off their pedistal. You may ruin any chance of getting with them, but at least you'll feel better about yourself!

Never tell them off

Telling them off shows weakness and wimpiness. It shows that the woman actually got under your skin, rattled your cage and that yes, you indeed were obsessing about her. Trust me, I've talked with dozens of women who've had guys tell them off. They're not impressed one iota and they relay this to their other friends. It's a downward spiral.

The pullback is a test of some sorts, even if it's inadvertant. Read Dana Peach's article on the DJ site on pushing the intimacy envelope. It talks about being a grown up and how one reacts to stops and starts in a relationship. If a woman is told off, she discovers that you're immature. If you shrug it off and pullback yourself, they start thinking, "Hey wait a minute, this guy has other things in his life. He has it together. I need to be more of a priority with him."

Don't listen to these AFCs disguising themselves as DJ's who next women, who tell off women and think that being a jerk is the answer. It's not. Be cool, calm, collected, accept the rejection with a smile on your face -- even if it hurts inside -- and move on.

Don't pullback completely. If you haven't heard from her in a couple weeks, send her a two-sentence e-mail saying how are you doing and that your life is incredibly busy and that you barely have time to e-mail her. If she doesn't respond to that, she's gone.

Take your time, play it cool, pullback, don't act like it bugs you. That's the essence of being a DJ, NOT telling her off or getting angry. And if a woman responded well to anger, you wouldn't want her anyway.

Da*n, WestCoaster, you may be a "newbie", but you certainly don't write like one!

Listen to this guy, everyone, he knows what he's talking about!

BGMan

West coaster has his sh1t together..telling women off is equivalent to saying "I hate you because you dont like me!"

Do you tell people that dont hire you for a job off?

DO you tell off schools that dont let you in?

Same concept..Rejection is Life..it happens to EVERYBODY *READ* EVERYBODY

if you think you are too good to get rejected..maybe you havent grasped the basic human skill of adaptation and maturity