Our DJ is on his way home from a long day at work. He gets to the bus stop (I am not here to debate the benefits of car vs bus), and decides that he will try and test the sharpness of his mental sword. Along comes a 'target' with potential.

At that moment a few buses drive up. Our Dj gets in line, and could potentially have cut the target off, but rather motioned for her to get on the bus, while making a lightly humorous remark.

Walking up the steps, he greets the bus driver while displaying the bus pass, continues on and casually sits behind the target. Our fellow DJ sat for a few moments deciding how and when to strike (before the next bus stop at the latest). At that bery moment, the bus swerves to the right, that caught our Dj off guard, as he was in the process of initiating the conversation. The hesitation at that moment was clearly noticed, as our DJ looked and saw her eyes, after making a classic hesitation. (For anyone that doesn't know is that if you can see the side of a women's eye, it is possible that she is looking at you, and in the given circumstance, being on the bus, the woman had nothing else to look at). Regardless, a second attempt was made, in light of the bus' strategic (mis-)turn.

- Which bus is this again?
- It's the XX, why?
- I thought I was getting on the YY... Does this go anywhere near <homeland>?
- (laughs) No... not at all.

The conversation continued...

In the moments before, our DJ decides to ask for her number... however, in his search for the appropriate words, a lengthy silence broke the conversation. After all too long,
- Let me call you sometime, so that we could hangout.
- That would be a waste of time, sorry. She replies and continues in her explanation.
- Regardless, it was a pleasure to meet you.

Then steps off the bus at the nearest exit, excited at the things that he had just re-learned, that hesitation of ANY kind will be noticed, and will be your downfall.

Pretty good topic. Your idea seems right on, too. Oh, and too bad about the bus...

hahaha, this is so true. In my AFC days something similar happened to me.

Good tip. Call me a fanatic, but this illustrates why 3 second rule is so important, especially for beginners.

The 3 second rule is crucial.

The only real problem that I have with it is when the time to start the 3 sec. is.

Cool Post. I wanted to comment on the power of silence vs hesitation.

If you are in control of your gaps between speaking and listening, you are using the silence to your advantage. If you are at a block between those times, you are hesitant. The difference that people see is almost entirely based on the look that is on your face. The DJ who controls the breaks of silence appears calm, relaxed and aware. They are just waiting to seize the perfect opportunity before the tension becomes unbearable and after the person's mind just starts to think, "perhaps i should say something else..."

There is a really good tip about using silence to your advantage...

Onto hesitation: Good learning you had there. We all hesitate, and it always is due to fear. Those who hesitate less then others have learned to manage their fear more appropriately. We aim to take hesitation from 3-5 seconds to 1/100th of a second, and then 1/1000th of a second, and then to a point where it's so dismal that the difference doesn't make a difference.

We do this by: Relaxing.

The greater the amount of stress we are under, the more we should relax. However, if you watch most people, they tend to do the opposite. The more stress they are under, the more tense they become. Watch a professional athlete who is playing a poor game. They take a really bad shot, get really mad a themselves, then another, and their temper gets worse and worse, until their so "fused" with their temper, that their mind becomes "confused" and their game is totally off because they can't get clear enough to shoot accurately.

Keep sharing, thanks again.

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