This post is mostly a further explanation of This, so I would recommend reading that as well.

...genuine improvement and artificial improvement.

Some people say smiling all day will get you friends. Some people say that dressing nicely will make you popular. Some people say if you're attractive that's all you need and you're set. Some people are wrong.

To make things simple, I'm going to break things into two categories.

Category 1 - Core Items
Category 2 - External Items

From this point on in my post, I want you to think up a few things like "confidence" for example. Categorize them into one category or the other. Category 1, the core items will include the things that are most important, and that can be used alone to be fairly successful. Category 2, external items, will be the things that can be most efficiently used when the core items are fulfilled.

Example, you have a few hundred dollars. You can buy one of two things, a guitar, or an amp.

Which one do you think fits category one and which fits category two? Obviously, the guitar is necessary before you can do anything with the amp.

That was an easy one. How about a few more: Social Skills. Confidence. Humor. Mystery. Physique. Smile. ****iness. Hygiene. Charm. Personality. Clothing.

This is a little harder.

I'm going to try categorizing them.

Category 1 - Core

• Social Skills
• Humor
• Physique
• Clothing
• Hygeine

Wow that was short. I wonder where the rest are...

Category 2 - External

• Confidence
• Mystery
• Smile
• ****iness
• Charm
• Personality

You may be surprised as to why I put some of these where I did. But I'll get into that later.

What do you notice about the 2nd list? They are all things that can be inherent (things that come naturally), but hard to change. You cannot simply create confidence. You cannot simply create a personality. People may say you can, but it is not genuine. It will not give you the same results.

The core things are all things that can be altered. That is why they are the core things, you can focus on them.

Let's look at each of those.

Social Skills - This is probably on of the most important things to be a good DJ. It can also be practiced... by SOCIALIZING!! But be aware, what good does practice do you if you don't observe what you're mistakes are? People may say this is like charm, but alas, it's different. Charm can't be practiced. I'll explain later.

Humor - This goes hand-in-hand with social skills. In fact, it's just a branch of having good social skills. A very important one. When socializing, keep humor in mind but only use what you feel is funny.

Physique - This can also be altered. Go to the gym! Pretty simple.

Clothing - Many people will tell you that looks are insignifigant, especially when it comes to clothing. I disagree. Unless you simply cannot afford it, how you dress really says a lot about what you want people to see you as. Obviously if you don't like green you're not going to wear it. A picture is worth a thousand words. So is the picture you show other people of yourself.

Hygiene - Please don't tell me this can't be fixed. I think this has been covered before.

Now I'm going to take a closer look at the external things.

Why are they different from the core ones? Because they are not something you can just improve all of a sudden, or genuinely change.

If you have bad hygiene, confidence won't matter. People will avoid you like the plague. If you have bad social skills, how can you have charm?

Please don't try to improve your personality by smiling more. It won't work unless you're happy.

About the core things... So true.

When I try to feign confidence or a smile, it helps the way other's view me, but it is so much more helpful in the long run to concentrate on becoming truly confident and happy rather than forming a habit of faking. Be who and what you are, but improve yourself. Don't wear a mask.

This... is... the... kind... of... ****... I... am... talking... about!

bump

Good post!

I've been thinking about the same thing recently - about self-improvement and how it happens. And I agree with you; there are things that are "easy" to change (even though the core things are not that easy either) and things that are a lot harder to change.

I don't believe that even these external things would be impossible to change, but they are extremely hard - especially when you want to make the change genuine and permanent. Because often you have to have all the things in the "core" list done before working on the external things is even possible. You can't just suddenly decide to be "confident". You won't get permanently confident by reading a few boost-ups in the DJ Bible. You get confidence after you've basically changed your entire life! And it's definetly true that you don't change your personality by smiling more; there's no point in having personal growth that isn't genuine, that will go away in a month or two.

This is something people should talk about more.

Yeah I totally agree with you on the topic but I STRONGLY agree with you on "Please don't try to improve your personality by smiling more. It won't work unless you're happy." <~that sentence right there explains so much. Remember in order to be able to smile you need to be happy.. this can be used as a moral to different situations.. You totally got my Props on this one.

Nice to be back after a little while, just to say... great post! (bump included)

Yes!!!! nice post, VERY helpful.

I took the liberty of finding and bumping them.

just bumping a few posts up so they dont get lost

nice post..hmm.. my core is pretty strong

I like the post but disagree with the placement of a few items. I will list them, in order of importants to me:

Hygiene + Physique + Clothes = Confidence. Confidence is the most important, but it can be developed by attaining the other three.

Confidence allows you to develop social skills, which involve humor and charm.

Humor and charm create interest. Once you realize women are interested, you will be able to seduce them using ****iness and mystery.

That is my take on it.