don't know if someone has post this before.

anybody has any ideas what to give for valentines day and birthday?

The standard answer is that unless you've been dating exclusively for at least 3 months: nothing. If you've been dating for a couple of months: a humorous card NOT one of the pink lace flowery ones dripping with barfalicious poetry.

In short, do less than she expects. It's better to underwhem than overwhelm. It's better to have her think you're an unfeeling jerk. It's better to have her angry at you.

NOTHING. (When you care enough to send the very best)

Originally posted by RKTek
The standard answer is that unless you've been dating exclusively for at least 3 months: nothing. If you've been dating for a couple of months: a humorous card NOT one of the pink lace flowery ones dripping with barfalicious poetry.

In short, do less than she expects. It's better to underwhem than overwhelm. It's better to have her think you're an unfeeling jerk. It's better to have her angry at you.

NOTHING. (When you care enough to send the very best)

Click to expand...

Please excuse this flame:

YOU ARE AN IDIOT!

Okay now on with my thoughts:
I agree that if you JUST started seeing a girl for a couple weeks than there should be no reason to get her anything. But even after a month a card is not a bad idea. No it shouldn't be fancy or say that you love her. There is nothing wrong with a funny card at any stage in a relationship.

How in the world is it better to have her think that you are an unfeeling jerk? Or to have her angry at you?

Will THAT get you laid? I highly doubt it.

If you don't want to buy her gifts than what is wrong with a simple card and dinner? Being too over the top is one thing, but being an a$$hole is something else. I understand that Valentines isn't a big holiday or anything and really I'm not too crazy about it myself. You can do things that aren't expensive, but still show that you weren't trying to be cheap. And that you CARE. GOSH FORBID!

Good Luck Norp.

Norp,
Your question is a little too open and vague.
To get a satisfactory answer, I suggest you be a little more specific with your situation. Giving any kind of gift to a woman is contingent on the type of relationship you have with her and the status of that relationship.

RKTek gave you a good general rule of thumb if you've actually been dating this girl.

Giving her a card after only a month of dating would only be permissable IF you have no prior history of buying her gifts.

If you are seeing this girl, remember that not too many woman are going to actually LEAVE a guy simply because he hasn't given her gifts or other tokens of affection. Offering myself as an example, MY own longest relationships were with girls to whom I gave absolutely NOTHING. The only thing I gave them on occasion was my time. And that's it.

Personally, I think flowers are nice, a dinner out is fun, lingerie is also nice, but only if you have been dating for 6 months or longer and know what size she wears.

I've also recieved a good book as a gift for V-day and loved that.

Personally, I think cards are dumb unless you get a blank one and actually write something real - the idea of hallmark speaking for you is cheesy and sad. Funny one can be cute though - if they really are funny.

But, if she doesn't get you anything, I would take that as a red flag if you have been dating seriously (read: exclusive) for more than 3 months.

Man, it is all about the relationship. You may be on a 6 month relationship. But how you 2 treat each other is always different. Maybe you 2 are into ****, your relationship isnt the same as 2 who arent in that relationship. There are couples who speak to each other as if they were babies, it all depends. As they said, it is a little too open, and the thumb rule on the 3 month is a good one too.

ok thanks, i got the idea

how about in my situation. i'm not going out with her yet but we like each other and all but she keeps saying give me some time .
should i buy her a gift ( although she has a boyfriend) or should i let her man do the spending,
as at right now we are just friends who like each other but may be feb 14th we'll be bf and gf.

Brent -

Please do not give her a gift. In fact, please concetrate on other women besides that one. Boyfriend? "Needs some time?" - those usually add up to "Sorry, I am not interested but I am too much of a wussy woman to say it straight to your face."

Sorry

well if you want to understand the whole situation read the post:
You all need to help me here (after 1 1/2 months)

dude give her some luvin! not no gay ass gift

Aight, i'm gonna drag this one out of the trash heap.

What about a parting gift?? Some cheap ass trinket or whatever.

~ivan

I don't see the prob with that one - the item will likely bring back memories of you. You asked me via IM earlier and I forgot to reply, so I will now - she loves pool, so maybe a keychain or something having to do with it would work.