Online Personals (Merged threads)

[Komodo]

Have ever noticed that some porn sites use newspaper ads an internet personals to attract girls.Thier often something like goodlooking girls wanted for nude modeling.Do
you guys think this can be a good d.j technique?

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You can't please all of the people all of the time!

[Ivan Drago]

Try it, come back & tell us. Who cares what anyone thinks? Only your experience matters.

[Iceberg]

Originally posted by Komodo:
Have ever noticed that some porn sites use newspaper ads an internet personals to attract girls.Thier often something like goodlooking girls wanted for nude modeling.Do
you guys think this can be a good d.j technique?



Maybe you could just drop pamplets out of the little yellow bus you ride in.

[Powertrip]

Maybe you could just drop pamplets out of the little yellow bus you ride in.

I couldnt have thought of a more appropriate reply.

[OzzyBoy]

What's the thing with good looking girls? They are just sluts.

[Komodo]

I THINK IT'S A GOOD WAY TO MEET HOT CHICKS .yEAH SOME ARE SLUTS BUT THAT'S UP TO THE INDIVIDUAL TO DECIDE IF HE WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER.ALOT OF THE GIRLS ARE VIRGINS WHO WANT TO EXPERIMENT SOME AREN'T.SOME ARE JUST LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME I THINK IT'S WORTH A TRY.

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You can't please all of the people all of the time!

[WampaLord]

Hey, Komodo, want to know how to please MORE people MORE of the time??

Don't type in ALL FREAKING CAPS!!!

Thank you. It's just a pet peeve of mine.

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Whenever you gamble, eventually you lose.

[Bartlock]

Are you going to put an ad for you?, no man!, go and pick the girls yourself.

If you do that, i bet you will get some scary stories to tell!.

If you do it please type your adventures here. http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

[mahon83050]

I met this chick online who lives out of state. She is about a 6-7 in looks and we have briefly e-mailed each other over the last couple of months. We usually replylike once a week or so. I e-mailed her last and she has not responded in two weeks. Should i try again, or wait for her to respond again.

[Canadian Idol]

I would e-mail her back, because alot of the time I even forget or am too busy to remember to reply to even those the closest to me so give it a shot and send a quick hello to her.

[86]

why bother? she lives out of state - out of sight, out of mind... probably on her part as much as yours.

what you gonna do, DJ her over email or IM? somebody once posted on the forum that email is about 1/4th as effective as face-to-face communique, the phone being slightly better at about half.

personally, I think you are wasting your time on a lost cause = emailing an out of state 6 or 7.

my 2 cents.

[Doppler4000]

The answer to your question is that women trying to meet guys on line get literally hundreds of offers / emails / etc. She probably came across more guys who live closer.

The real question is why are you trying to meet women on the net and not in person?

[englishcrap]

Guys,

I have read somewhere that only women and men who lack social skills use the internet to date.

What are your thoughts on this subject ?

Why would women want to do this ? if u look through alot of the ads. they remark "I go out with my group of friends" on weekends, I mean doesnt this tell u she has a good social life ? so why bother placing an ad on the internet ?

I have doing this because I want to experiment both ways, to find out which is best for me

[Starman]

I know some really hot women that place Personal Ads..

Most of them Don't meet enough men, most are attention whor es, some just want a guy to take them out and have a good time while they foot the bill,

I went on a date with a couple..No Chemistry, some sex

But overall they are all crazier than ****house rats

[Derek Vitalio]

Just go for it. Life is an adventure. Maybe you'll meet someone great. Maybe you'll get laid. Maybe you won't. Anyway it happens, have a blast and don't think about it too much.

By the way, most of the women I've gone out with using online personals were VERY easy to get into bed. So it also depends on what you're looking for... quick sex with okay looking girls or finding a super model?

Regards,

Derek Vitalio http://www.seductionscience.com

[Thug Intellect]

I think the internet dating scene has the following types:
socially inept AFC's/AFB's
Attention *****s
Psycho Chicks*trust me*
People who just want to get thier jollies-see attention *****s*

You think your going to find the ONE online, but there is no ONE, plus its better to DJ a chick in person, so much better.

[pilot0001]

I used to be really bad with women, I had no clue how to communicate with them. I had no girlfriends, not even "just friends." I had none. Out of plain curiosity I looked at a few sites just to laugh at the adds. Then I posted a few, got some results, and made a few friends.

Point being- its a good way to get your feet wet if its just too painful to do it in real life. I got some experience getting phone numbers, talking on the phone, and going on dates, getting rejected and realizing its not that big of a deal. Now that I've come out of my shell and can do this stuff without the friendly atmosphere of a computer screen... its still fun to do it once in a while.

But I don't lean on it for a primary source of pickups. I just don't have the time it takes for that.

[CLOONEY]

"Does Internet Dating and Ads Show Desperation ?"

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although in saying that, a couple of people I know have met the partner of their dreams through it!! So if you can meet someone like that, who gives a f*ck how you did it!!

GOOD LUCK

Take it easy

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Life is a game....PLAY IT!!

[Bonhomme]

The older the gals you seek, the more sense it makes.

Gals over 30 just don't get out that much. If you're young, I say don't bother.

Online personals have everything bassackwards. Chemistry comes *last*!

That's why it's important to mett online contacts quickly, and get the chemistry issue addressed ASAP.

[This message has been edited by Bonhomme (edited 10-01-2002).]

[corruptrelic]

I met 12 girls from the internet this year.. (in person) number 13 on thursday And about 100 in just online chats.

try these sites: www.matchdoctor.com (http://www.matchdoctor.com) www.datingclub.com (http://www.datingclub.com)

they are completley free to use/email unlike some other services that charge just to email people

[Tiandan007]

I've tried meeting women on-line just for kicks, 99% are wack-jobs and the hot ones just want sex if that's all your looking for...

...personally if your a guy seriously doing on-line dating I think your just hiding behind a computer to avoid risking rejection and truly building your DJ skills. But if that's what you like it doesn't make you a bad person. Meet women in person it's much better.

[Starman]

Oh how true it is..Most of the girls on the internet are psycho , easy lay types, with low self esteem (TRUST ME!)

2nd .. Internet Personal Ads show desperation to those people not using them. If you meet a girl online..she isnt going to think you are desperate..because that would mean she is desperate.

3rd..Internet Personal Ads should be used as an extracarricular dating..something to help double your dates..sex etc..but shouldnt be used alone..because you never get a chance to try your DJing in real life.

[86]

Originally posted by Starman:

3rd..Internet Personal Ads should be used as an extracarricular dating..something to help double your dates..sex etc..but shouldnt be used alone..because you never get a chance to try your DJing in real life.

yeah I agree, it's just another tool. probably not the one you should reach for first, I might add...

[Idorus]

A girl replied to my message (she had me on her "meet me" list).

I'm trying to not spill my life in a reply and to ask her a few questions.

I'll try to throw in some humor if I can...

But after this first email exchange, when should I judge it to be a good time to ask her for a date?

Right now I'm asking her what she likes so that by when she replies I'd be in a position to ask her for a date and I'll know where to take her out but what if it's too soon and she feels uncomfortable?

[DJ de Florida]

Get her phone number as soon as possible and set up a date over the phone. Don't waste time in useless e-mail exchanges developing anything.



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****
Don Juan de Florida

[Alpha male Female Catcher]

Generally I don't think you can stuff up a relationship with a girl by asking her out too soon, though I think you can stuff up your chances with her by waiting too long to ask her out.

Befriending a girl first because you don't have the balls to ask her out then hoping the friendship will develop into a romance doesn't work - believe me I've tried it many times - it just lands you in LJBF land. Wait any longer to ask her out and you'll end up in pen-pal LJBF land.

I've heard it said that girls know within the first three minutes of meeting you wether they'll go out with you or not (It's certainly the case for us guys). I guess you haven't really met her yet but I suspect your photo, description and brief email are enough for her to make up her mind.

Girls lust after us just as much as we do them and they are just as keen to start dating as you are. I don't believe girls need time to get 'comfortable' with the idea of dating you anymore than you do. If she does then you really shouldn't be dating her as her IL is too low.

Arrange a real world date as soon as possible. If she declines she wasn't going to go out with you anyway, either way the sooner you ask her out the better.

(I suspect that she will be a lot less shocked by having someone she has clicked yes to on an - internet find a date site - asking her for a date than you think).

[Idorus]

Thanks for the comments.

And anyway now that I think of it... if a girl clicked "MEET ME" and she doesn't want to meet me, well she can eat my meat. I'm not gonna waste time with people like that http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/smile.gif

[Aiken_Drum]

NEVER meet a girl without a RECENT photo.
A friend went to a date with a girl that looked ok (about a 7) on the pic she sent, but when she met her she was horrible!! The pic was like 3 years old, she was totally ****ed up!!!

[corruptrelic]

Nice post alpha male. The sooner you get her to meet the better. I ended up talking to a perfect 10 girl for 2 months online and when we finally met she decided "It feels like I've known you all my life already, so lets just be friends." Tell her if she wants to know more about you - to do it in the real world. Why waste 2 months talking to someone who may not even be interested in you? So what if she has your picture or you have her picture.. it's just a picture some people look bad and others look better. I cant believe how many girls have seen my picture online said I was "cute" "handsome" I've heard it all.. thinking I'm the next Tom Cruise I ask them to meet and when we meet "You're not my type" "You're a nice guy, but.." "Lets be friends first" just because someone likes you online doesn't mean they like you offline as well.. out of every 4 girls I meet from the internet who see my picture actually go anywhere, even though they act like online they want something.

It's never too soon.. and if she says she's uncomfortable meeting you - tell her you can't feel chemistry over the internet and that she shoudn't be putting up internet personal ads to meet people then.

[Ricardo]

The only caveat to this is that what you write is important to make a girl feel comfortable enough to meet you.

If she likes your picture, but you haven't written much it is possible that you haven't broken her resistance in meeting you.

Plus finding out somethings about her arms you with data for the first date.

Ask her plenty of questions (this makes it look like you give a crap and gives you some details about her mental stability)

[Starman]

I agree to some point.

When you email a girl..by your 2nd or 3rd email..you should be talking to he on the phone.

When on the phone set a date.

Forget this "getting to know you" crap on emails..it makes you appear 1)uninterested 2) a sensitive AFC who is looking for LOve and LTR but wants to make sure he knows the girl before asking for a date 3) Indecisive

I have friends who are internet predators on the net..they Email..Phone..Date and Bag a chick in 3 weeks or less

[Bungo Pony]

Online dating services have aroused curiosity for quite some time. However, some people have found it to be the best way to meet women. It takes away the burden of 1 on 1 contact. It eliminates the need to go up to a random girl, and start a conversation with her. It's all been replaced with a computer - something that is comfortable to the single person in question.

As a DJ, we've learned how to go up to a random female we find attractive, start a conversation, and get her digits. After all this, would a DJ want to try online dating services? My opinion, why not? However, we should not see it as a replacement for meeting women in person.

Ever have one of those nights, where you're up at 4:00 in the morning, just got off work, or you're having trouble sleeping? Can't go out and hunt for women at that time of night. Answer - online dating services.

However, as a DJ, the best mindset to have when trying these things out would be to use it as just another opportunity to meet women when other options are ruled out for the time being.

There's many options out there for online services. Go for the ones that are free. You don't need to pay money to meet women in real life, so why should you have to pay money to meet women online? You're already paying you're ISP, that should be enough.

When writing you're profile, use you're cocky+funny skills. This has been mentioned in David Deangelo's newsletters, and he's right on the money with this one. Be creative, and don't say too much about yourself - to keep mysterious. Don't write lovey-mushy 5hit to impress her (which should be a given at this site).

After you write your kick-ass profile, go read some of the guys profiles and laugh at them. This gives you a clear idea of what you're up against in the online world - not really any different from the AFCs in the real world. After reading some of these, you'll get a clear indication that most of these guys have absolutely nothing better to do than sit in front of the computer, and try the online version of what they failed at.

As for choosing a picture, it really doesn't matter what you choose, since you're written profile will be the decision maker. Just make sure you're not naked or with another woman in your picture. If you're with a woman in your picture, you will immediately get written off as a player.

After you've met a woman, the off the fvcking internet as quick as possible, or you'll be placed into the "Email Buddy" category. Get her on the phone as quick as possible to set up a date. Don't set up a date through Email. Use that to get her number.

The main thing to remember when trying online dating sites is - use it as just another way to meet women. Don't rely on it to get your dates. You'll still need your DJ skills if you should set up a date with a girl you met online.

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"Look in your mirror, It'll tell you the truth,
Don't waste your time away
Thinkin' bout yesterday's blues" - Richie Sambora

[Ralph Bellamy]

The number of online services that are free, is shrinking. With that in mind, I would highly recommend Cupid Junction, where you pay per contact, as opposed to 25 bucks a month for what could be next to nothing in the way of responses.
www.cupidjunction.com (http://www.cupidjunction.com)

Matchdoctor.com is free for exactly five days and even then your contacts are limited. But I did meet one woman during my five day trial and we went out Thursday night, went surprising well. First time I ever noticed IL rise before my eyes. :-D

[Bonhomme]

You've got the idea, BP. Based on my very limited experience so far, the more of a smartass I came across as in my profile, and the more myserious, the better responses I've had.

[pilot0001]

I agree with you 100% except for one thing. I don't think it should be viewed as a "last resort." But at the same time it shouldn't be your only means.

I've been using internet personals for a couple years year and have met some very interesting girls. But I've also met some hidous female versions of an AFC.

[Ricardo]

Damn Matchdoctor want's money now too?

I got in on yahoo last summer when it was free and now it isn't and then matchdoctor this summer while it was free and apparently they aren't anymore

WTF

Are there any free one's anymore?

[stratt]

I was looking through the yahoo personals and there are some really good looking women near where I live. Has anyone tried these online personals, and are they any good? What are the better ones?

[FlyGuy]

I tried online dating for a while, before most of them turned into pay sites. One thing I REALLY don't like about online dating is that the guy/girl ratio is SO skewed its ridiculous. A good looking girl will go through probably 50 responses before she gets to yours (unless you respond RIGHT after her add is posted) which IMO is not the kind of odds you want.

Another BIG problem with online dating (which IMO is the biggest reason not to use it) is that you THINK you have a good idea of what the girl is like - until you meet them face to face. Heck, even the ones with pictures sometimes turn out to be TOTALLY different in real life.

I think you CAN be succesful with online dating but its not as easy as you may think. In short, online dating may seem like its easier (rejection isn't so painful, you can take your time and plan out what you say, etc. etc.) but from my experience its just better to suck it up and go out into the REAL world to find women. I also think that once you get your game going, you'll have a much higher success rate in the real world.


[This message has been edited by FlyGuy (edited 10-18-2002).]

[Cuffer]

Dude, there are plenty of hot girls out there in the real world, theres no need for the online dating. You can do it, just get out to the bar, and get that hottie. Online dating is for the lazy man. :P

[Thug Intellect]

My sentiments exzactly cuffer.

[corruptrelic]

If you want to check out some free dating services check out: www.datingclub.com (http://www.datingclub.com) www.matchdoctor.com (http://www.matchdoctor.com) www.singlesofpalmbeach.com (http://www.singlesofpalmbeach.com) www.blinddatetv.com (http://www.blinddatetv.com)

As flyguy said though the male to female ratio is redicilous, especially on the free sites where even the unattractive girls get tons of replies - I knew a 7 who said she got about 30 replies in the first 2 days she was on matchdoctor and she got frustrated and just cancelled her account.
If you try something like yahoo personals or the next best one, www.match.com (http://www.match.com) , you have to pay and the competition isn't as bad, since most people dont' want to pay to email people.
When I joined yahoo personals I ended up getting 3 months for the price of 1 - signed up, cancelled the next day so they woudn't rebill me, it asked if I wanted an extra free month, said yes, had 2 months now, and at the end of the 2nd month I went to cancel again and it gave me another free month..
In those 3 months I probably emailed about 300 different girls - from as low as 5's to as high as 10's, even some without pictures. After all if you are going to pay $20/$25 you mine as well get your money's worth.. out of the 300 or so girls I emailed, about 40 of them replied. Out of those 40, I ended up meeting 10 in the real world. The biggest problem about them is they seem to be too scared to meet you "lets get to know eachother better online first" "lets be friends first",etc.. they shoudn't be putting up personal dating ads if they are too scared to meet anyone.

The biggest advantage of online personals is you get to put up your picture - talk about yourself a little and see who are you meeting. If they reply, they like your picture and you know they are single, unlike in person you risk rejection but once you learn to not care if you are rejected, lol I'm just pretty much repeating everything flyguy said..
So for $20 I'd definitely sign up with yahoo personals especially if you get 3 months worth, just be sure to email all girls, not just put your hopes into a few of them.. even without pictures, what's the worst that can happen, you meet them at a coffee shop, spend maybe $1.00 - find out they're 300 pounds and bald, so move on to the next one.. just think of each one as practice and if you are new/shy about approaching girls in person, online dating is a great way to start and build up confidence for the real world. If you hear "i need to get to know you better online" just tell her you can't feel chemistry over the internet, people lie, etc.. and the only way to get to know someone is in the real world. I lost my chances with 3 or 4 "9.5"'s because I tried to get them to meet me too soon and woudn't talk to them in aol instant messenger.
Also when you post your profile don't be afraid to sound like a "nice guy" because online, it definitely sounds attractive to them. Using words like "romantic" "honest" (especially) caring, trustworthy, affectionate, etc.. definitely work. In person you don't need to be a nice guy because then you lose, but online, you want them to think you are a nice guy, someone they can feel comfortable meeting, someone who is honest, affectionate, etc.. if that didn't work then I don't think I'd be having 9's email me saying they loved my profile and how it's so hard to find nice romantic honest guys..

[TinyDancer]

Oooh buddy don't waste your time. A good portion of those people on that site will never meet you. And a lot are just doing it to see what response they get. I'm fourteen and my friends and I signed up for matchmaker.com so we could make fun of AFC's (we're mean I know, sorry). If you dont take everyone's advice and sign up, check out http://www.geocities.com/guccichick33/ourfunnycharacters.html so that you know what NOT to say!

[Cuffer]

Lol, thats hilarious... cold... but hilarious.

[FlyGuy]

corruptrelic :

Sounds like you put a lot more effort into the online dating than I did. I probably sent out a total of 40 emails when I tried it, and got about 5 dates out of it. None of them worked out for various reasons.

I have to say also, even if playing the nice guy role online works out I would think it'd just be trouble later on. If a girl doesn't next you for being an AFC up front, she'll get frustrated in the relationship and next you later.

There was an article on this site somewhere about online dating and some strategies that could help...

[FlyGuy]

Originally posted by TinyDancer:
Oooh buddy don't waste your time. A good portion of those people on that site will never meet you. And a lot are just doing it to see what response they get. I'm fourteen and my friends and I signed up for matchmaker.com so we could make fun of AFC's (we're mean I know, sorry). If you dont take everyone's advice and sign up, check out http://www.geocities.com/guccichick33/ourfunnycharacters.html so that you know what NOT to say!

... and yet ANOTHER reason to stick to the real world. Online dating is kinda like a flashier version of personals. The bad thing about online dating vs personals though, is that the potential for getting false info in an add are greatly increased.

ANYWAY, again just stick to the real world.

[awfernan]

Based on what I've read, online personsals seem to be a good method of getting some exhibition-game, ungraded practice and a little much-needed sumpin' sumpin' for those in a slump, but are only a short-term fix and not a long-term solution.

After all, we all need to develop "live" approach skills. Nevertheless, there might be some easier-than-average lays, even if the success rate is pretty low.

Do people agree? Any thoughts are appreciated.

[corruptrelic]

Most people here seem to disagree with online dating but they already have experience in the real world.
You have to start somewhere, and online is a great place to start. Your right on target with what you said. Putting up a personal ad gives you the opportunity to let the women see you before they meet you - and you know they are single. So when you do meet (approach) them in the real world, you already know they're single, and they already like your physical apperance.

You can gain a lot of confidence and experience with online dating. Every girl you meet is just practice (dont tell her that though) and before you know it, you'll have enough experience to approach girls in every day life.
It took me about 10 months of online dating before I finally made the switch to in person and got my second number about a week ago.

If you want to try online dating, check out the free sites first: www.datingclub.com (http://www.datingclub.com) www.matchdoctor.com (http://www.matchdoctor.com) www.blinddatetv.com (http://www.blinddatetv.com)

The male to female ratio is about 99999999 to 1 so the competion sucks, so you need a good profile that gets attention. (Lie if you have to.) Words like "honest" and "romantic" really catch attention. My last profile had about 30 responses in a month, and I never emailed anyone.
Email every girl in your area, even if they don't have pictures. Remember they are just practice, so even if they don't look so great, it doesn't matter since you dont have to see them again anyway.
From the replies you do get set up the date ASAP forget about talking online and on the phone, she'll think of you as just an email/phone buddy. If the girl has a picture and looks nasty - tell her she's beautiful. She'll fall for you online. Set the date, use her as target practice, and move on to the next (better looking) girl.
Keep repeating this process, meeting them online at coffee shops so you save your money, never spending more than $5.00 per date.

If you have a hard time with the free services (probably will because of the redicilous competion) you could try pay services such as www.match.com (http://www.match.com) www.yahoo.com (http://www.yahoo.com) personals or www.kiss.com (http://www.kiss.com) .. since you are paying $20 a month - email EVERY girl, you may email 300 and only get 50 replies. If you put all your hopes into 10-20 girls, maybe only 1-5 will reply, and there's no guarentee they'll work out, let alone even meet you.

From my experience paying $20 for a month's access is WELL worth it, especially if you are just starting out and need to build confidence and gain experience. On yahoo personals I ended up getting 3 months access for the price of 1 ("please dont go, one more month for free?" - sure!) and I've met 10+ girls so far from it. Most of them said I play "mind games" or talk about being honest and not taking advantage of people, but all I need to do is look at myself lol. (Like I said, they are just target practice! Your online profile should be creating a romantic feeling for them - describing yourself as romantic, honest, caring, and you are looking for something meaningful, long-term, etc. it gets a lot more attention even if it's not true.)

For the short-term and long-term, online personals can help you in any case. Even if you're looking for a long-term relationship, the advantage of finding it online is that you can look up girls who are also looking for the long-term, see what they look like, and them meet them in person without worrying about approaching strangers. Then show your romantic interest and get her thinking about you.
Regardless, for me at least, online dating has proved to be a very effective way to meet new girls and it's by far more than just a "short-term fix" - I meet girls online AND in person, when in the beginning it was just online. If I didn't start online, I'd probably still be at home wishing I could meet people but was too afraid to approach anyone in person.
That's all changed now, thanks to the internet.

[Bungo Pony]

I disagree. The best way to start approaching girls is to grab your ba11s and do it. Get over your fear of rejection first, get out there and try different things, and get some real-life experience first before you look into online dating.

I look at online dating as just another way to meet women. I don't rely on it. After you've been exposed to real-life situations, online dating becomes extremely easy. I also don't agree with paying to meet women. I don't have to pay in real life, why should I pay online?

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"I'm running down the road tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on my mind,
Four that wanna own me, Two that wanna stone me,
One says she's a friend of mine" - Eagles

[krd]

I've been a member of several on-line personal dating services and in my experience, they're not really that much different from meeting women in real-life situations in terms of what kind of results you get. Your odds of anything materializing are probably just as slim. The main difference is, the women on-line are single and looking for the same thing you are (in most cases). The one's that do take the time to respond are naturally more likely to give you a chance. This makes it much easier to practice your DJ skills on them. However, their interest may peter out more quickly, because they haven't made the connection with you that one might from actually meeting you in person.

The one's you meet in real-life are more likely to not be interested in meeting someone, or are already taken. There's also more of a risk of you making a lousy first impression. However, if you are nervous around girls, just approaching and talking to them in person is a valuable experience. Either way is good practice. I say use all the tools you have available to you. If you have any kind of luck with either of these methods, good for you. Just don't expect too much.

[This message has been edited by krd (edited 10-25-2002).]

[corruptrelic]

I think telling a guy with no real world experience to just "go and approach girls" is a lot easier said than done. I dont know why everyone is so anti-online .. in fact I'm going to get laid this coming wednesday from a 7 I met online two weeks ago. Email her - setup the date - kino and kiss close - she emails me accusing me of playing games, where am I,etc.. - email her back with some romantic stuff and suggest we get more intimate - she responds by asking to come to her house next wednesday at 12am and she'd have a "suprise" for me..
What has this all done to my confidence? Took it sky high just like I'll be next week!

I agree nobody should rely on the internet to meet people.. but people have to start somewhere, and just walking up to a girl you dont even know (when you've never done it before) can be a tough task.
I guess we all have different opinions and I'm in the minority but in any case from my own experience, starting out online, setting the date asap, and approaching them in person after they already know what I looked like.. gave me the experience I needed to start making real-life approaches, and things coudn't get any easier for me now.