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View Full Version : How to... Comfort a sad girl?


Dario
01-11-2003, 11:58 AM
Well, the best reason is to next her...

But I don't want to. I want to have some good thing to comfort a girl when she's sad. I already had some problems like that, which I don't think will be back, but who knows. Here is the example of what happened:

Example

I was on a school trip with my class, and there was a girl that I wanted to pick up. Well, I was a big AFC back there. It was night, and we were sitting near a camp fire. But when we all started going back to the house we all lived in (it was a few meters from the fire), some stayed there, and that girl was sitting near the tree, with her head down, looking at the ground. She was obviously sad. Well, I went over to her and crouched next to her.

Me: "Why are you sad?"
Her: "I'm not sad."
Me: "Then what're you doing?"
Her: "I'm thinking..."

Then a silence, and a few "romantic" words from me, like "you're not alone", "no need to be sad", etc. Yeah, AFCish as hell. Well anyway, I just told her that and went away.


So, what do you reccomend doing in a situation like that? My friend told me, that I should just sit next to her still and wait untill she'll ask something, or will want to go away. What do you think?

whatsupwiddat
01-11-2003, 12:23 PM
Oh really? Your friend suggested that? Well, your friend is a hack.

And another thing, don't comfort her. Give her something to do. If you really have to, don't let her wallow in her own filth that way. If she is sad, tel he that you have something to show her, then ike go ask her out or something.

In Poland, the girls aren't worth the comfort.. speaking from experience. They have no self control. Leave them be.

P.S.: It's good to be back, I've been grounded. :D

oOh Nasty
01-11-2003, 12:25 PM
Originally posted by whatsupwiddat

In Poland, the girls aren't worth the comfort.. speaking from experience. They have no self control. Leave them be.


r u stereotyping?

syncmaster
01-11-2003, 08:26 PM
Nothing cures a sad face faster than humour. Humour is golden, if you can make her smile all her troubles will seem like they've just flown out the window. Remind her that no matter how bad things are, they will get better and things always work out in the end. To just keep pushing through and don't give up. Throw in a few jokes, tease her a bit and lift up her spirits.
Perhaps you could tell her a story of yours when you were down and something brought you back up - but make it funny. Make her laugh and then distract her or take her away from whatever is bugging her. Do it smoothly though and she'll never forget you. Its DJ like and also really cool b/c she'll talk about you to all her friends as "this really cool guy who helped me out".


... maybe i'm just crazy though ;)

Smooth as Anything
01-11-2003, 09:42 PM
Please give us a fake story of feeling down and then feeling better.

:)

brookswift
01-12-2003, 12:47 AM
next time, try to get her to do something, like hey, why don't you come inside and we can play billiards or something. i don't know what was around, but be creative. would you like to walk back to the house with me? whatever. oh, and take an english class. your first paragraph is incomprehensible

Squy
01-12-2003, 07:39 AM
As Allen said:

Unless she is your GF or more, i don't recommend comforting her at all. Stay the hell away from her in her bad mood. You don't want her to associate you with bad moods. As told unless she is your GF or your best female friend, its your duty to comfort her, but otherwise don't.

Luscious
01-12-2003, 10:08 AM
Originally posted by whatsupwiddat
Oh really? Your friend suggested that? Well, your friend is a hack.

Yeah, the best advice is not to take advice from your friends, unless they happen to be frequent visitors to www.sosuave.com. :D

Dario
01-12-2003, 10:36 AM
Originally posted by brookswift
oh, and take an english class. your first paragraph is incomprehensible

And you should capitalaze the first letter in the sentence :p
[/irony]

Overall, thanks for the tips guys, I'll use them in future (come to think of it, I hope I don't ;))

PEACEDJ
01-12-2003, 10:50 AM
I diss the girl and then when she gives me a who-the-hell-are-you-look. I sit down, and tell her that she could be sitting there thinking about something that'll make her life sad or come join me and be happy. Helped me everytime and i even picked up some chicks

diplomatic_lies
01-13-2003, 08:42 AM
If its REALLY BIG, and shes your GIRLFRIEND, just listen.

Humour works on minor stuff, but big stuff, you might screw up.

Once my girlfriend's cat died once, and I tried humour, except I accidently made a joke about the cat and she slapped me. It was probably inappropriate (I said something about selling the cat to the nearest Korean restaurant and making some money out of it).

Hot Ice
01-13-2003, 10:52 AM
Originally posted by diplomatic_lies

Once my girlfriend's cat died once, and I tried humour, except I accidently made a joke about the cat and she slapped me. It was probably inappropriate (I said something about selling the cat to the nearest Korean restaurant and making some money out of it).

Outch. That's bad... ( :D )



But anyways guys, good tips.
At least try to avoid AFC comforting phrases just like "You are not alone." etc.

Mack Of All Trades
01-13-2003, 08:52 PM
When possible AVOID BEING IN CONTACT WITH A CHICK THAT IS SAD OR MAD! When you bring yourself near a chick when she is in a bad mood, she associates you with the bad mood. Therefore, it is to your advantage to not try and play therapist but instead to avoid her when possible. I know this from one of my RECENT experiences so I am not typing a worthless post.

If you have to spend time with her, then the best remedy is humor. This always takes me out of a bad mood and should work on chicks.

Dario
01-14-2003, 07:48 AM
Well, I just came back from school. One of the girls in my class (a 9 one) was happy through the whole day, but later we didn't see her on a few lessons (she's the daughter of our headmaster so she can do that). Also, the guy she's with wasn't in a good mood later. After one lesson, I met him. He hed red eyes, like he was crying, and just said in a low voice "It's over". Just then I noticed, that they probably broke up.

Well, on the last lesson that girl didn't show anything emotional, in fact she was smiling and happy through the whole lesson. I thought that this can be my chance for the near future... Well anyway, we went to our lockers and started changing. That girl sat on a bench and started changing her boots, and just in that moment she started crying. Not much, but I could notice it.

Going with your advice, I leaved her alone. I think I did quite good doing it, and no guy went over to comfort her, but now I thought... A girl is sad. A guy comes over to her and says the AFC stuff, but in a deep, calm way. What the girl can be thinking then? "This guy is a total AFC, I'll never go with him". True, but she can also think "He cared for me...", you know. What's your thought?

Hot Ice
01-14-2003, 01:10 PM
Originally posted by Mack Of All Trades
When possible AVOID BEING IN CONTACT WITH A CHICK THAT IS SAD OR MAD! When you bring yourself near a chick when she is in a bad mood, she associates you with the bad mood. Therefore, it is to your advantage to not try and play therapist but instead to avoid her when possible. I know this from one of my RECENT experiences so I am not typing a worthless post.

If you have to spend time with her, then the best remedy is humor. This always takes me out of a bad mood and should work on chicks.


Listen to Mack.
This is the thing you should do!

wannabejuan
01-14-2003, 03:02 PM
Not really sure why you would want to either, but a great line that i have seen used is:

"What are you thinking about?"

Its as easy as that. Most of the time she will open up right away. Its much better then whats wrong, or whats the matter or somthing like that. Please spare yourself and dont become an emotional tampon, if your into this chick in more then freinds, let her be.