backbreaker
Master Don Juan
tothere is a post right now in the main forum of this site shunning video games. I was going to reply to this post and address it on it's on but there is a bigger problem which stems from the post that has to be addressed and I am better off attempting to address it here.
How can I say this...
I refer to pook's post here
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=58526&highlight=perfect+boring
And, hell I did the same thing when I came here. The zealousness to try to right all the wrongs that you thought were faults in your attitude your self esteem your career, you take a very gung ho approach to it and just start chopping any and everything that you think might be a deterrent to you getting a woman. there is nothing sexy about a man playign video games we have to stop doing that that does not turn women on. there is nothing sexy about a guy who watches TV so i cut out all tv. there iI s nothing sexy about a guy who is online all day so i have to cut that out. and on and on and on, until you are this, clone or this perfect RoboDJ who is just designed to be a lady killer or some ****.
To the people who think like this, I am in a very unique situation where, I was you, before you were you lol. I was, and still am honestly the definition of a workaholic. nothing gets me going more than working my ass off. Until I had this seizure I could have counted the number of days I took off all year on one hand.
Better yet, for those of you who do not know me that well let me give you a better example of what I did, so you can see why i am where i am now, and hopefully you do not make the same mistake I did.
By the age of 21 I was making 85k a year froma business I started 2 and a half years earlier. Honestly I was fvcking killing it. Not only that, we set our company up to where the company paid just about tall of me and partners bills, the only thing we had to really buy was food. Dry cleaning, rent, bills, because i did a lot of work from home, all paid by the company. basically every week I got a 1600 dollar check that was play money.
but to get to this point in my life, I wokred my ass to the mothervcking bone. half the time I did not even bother going home to sleep I had a couch in my office at work. I was young I could hanlde that better than most older people could **** it was fun to me. But still I worked... just too hard. tooo hard. I was hard wired to believe if i was not working i was a failure. I could not take an off day. i had to do something. i couldn't cut it off.
and i dated. I even spun plates. the fact that i was successful and always busy even made it easier. I didn't have to lie about being busy I was very much so.
one day, in march of 2005, I believe it was a tuesday, my parenter and I never got along, I knew him in high school and I didn't like him then, but we worked together great; we complianted each other perfectly so we tolerated each other. even lived with each other for a time. Well one day he the **** to a whole new level, and between him, me being so stressed out that I damn near had a mini bar in my office and I had started using coke though no one at this time knew that.. i looked at my entire situation and said you know what.. fvck this lol. I decided it was time to cash out and I did, by the end of the week I was done with a check in my bank of America account.
my GF at the time was very happy, I was happy, it took me about a month to unwind, i did not know how stressed I was until I got out of the situation. But i had developed quite the coke habit under everyone's nose. NO one knew at the time. i coudl afford it, easily, with my money I was making at the job, I wasn't doing onces or antyhing 150-200 a week wasn't a big deal an expensive habit and now that i had cashed out, it really was not a big deal. my GF lived with me and even though I was making very good money, she had a bit of an independent streak and liked to make her own money, so she worked at dillards in the afternoon/evening from I think it was 3 to 9. so my dealer would come and bring me my stuff and i would do myt hing while she was gone, no one was the wiser.
eventually she left, this is a long story so I willt ry to save the unimportant details.. eventually i stepped it up to crack, which for you non drug guys, is basically just taking coke adding some baking soda and water and letting ti dry into a crystallized form. it's much more potent and i liked potent.
now, i'm not going to tell you my entire durg history, i'm quite sure you can figure out the details yourself, i did my thing for about a year, i got off i've been clean since feb of 06.
when i started going to AA meetings everyone..t hey would look at me, and i didn't' fit the mold. not beucase i wasn't broke; you would be surprised how many doctors and lawyers are in AA... b ut.. to the avg person my life seemed fine. i had money, my mother is quite normal, my dad while he is a womanizer, is a very good dad. I had no abuse growing up, no history of drug use from either parent, no one understood why I did drugs. **** it wasn't even peer pressure. i looked for it lol.
one day, i had about a year and a half clean, and i had a few guys that i was a sponsor to and one of them asked me, backbreaker, what the fvck was going on in your life that made you want to use drugs. And you know, i couldn't give him an answer. i really couldn't. i did not know at the time. no clue.
it took me moving to a new city, getting my own new sponser who was a lot more like me, for him to answer my question for me..
i didn't know how to entertain myself. i really did not. i had no clue beucase i didn't do it.
see, i learned an extermely valuable lesson that to this day and the rest of my life I will never forgot.. humans, have a very natural need for entertainment. to unwind. that is in essence, what makes us human. fvck even monkeys sit around and talk to each other and scratch each other's backs and **** talk **** about other monkeys and stuff. and that was my problem. i denied myself this, beucas ei thought it was unprodutive. but my need to unwind drove me to seek other means of unwinding.
in short, my tireless unyielding work ethic, drove me straight to the drug dealer.
don't make the same fvcking mistake i made. it's not worth it. trust me.
now, see this is where i am different from most. I'm not going to tell you that you have to have balance or any of that hallmark bull****. I never said you had to stop working so hard I said you have to learn to unwind.
for you to be the best YOU, you have to nurture the part of you that wants to fvck off. Believe you me I know it sounds counterproductive. Your brain is like any other muscle in your body. you can over work it. sometimes you got to let it rest. you let it rest by doing mindless ****.
hell bill gates owns a 17 million dollar villa in south florida with a full horse stable, golf course and swimming pool. so the the man who changed othe way we see computers for our generation and has created more software that is more used by everyone on the planet can find time to mindlessly fvck off but you can't lol?
Today I work from home and while I still work more than probalby 98% of the country does, today i can realax and have no qualms about it. I play the **** out of video games. Love me some resident evil, resistance, dead space, anything with interesting plots where i can shoot **** i am in. I like Law and order and Boardwalk empire and mad men. I love college football. nothing gets done on Saturdays in the fall in the backbreaker household. I love roller coasters. I've been on just about every major roller coaster in the US.
I have my "productive hobbies" as well. i'm quite the piano player and i practice weekly and at times daily. I speak fluent french, i work out just about every day and i do swim everyday or just about. Love history and history documentaries. I like exotic animals and when my son gets a tad older i will buy a snake. too young now. i have 2 salt water fish tanks, one 100 gallon and one 300 gallon in the living room that I meticulously maintain .. **** is like having a house full of kids they are so damn finicky.
anyway, but this is what i am trying to say; i don't do any of that beucase that's what women want me to do or what i think i shoudl be doing.. i do both.. the football and the fish tank, the piano and the video games, beucase
they all make ME happy. that's who I am.
I am exactly who I am supposed to be today.
and THAT is what women find arousing. a man who is comfortable in his own skin. not trying to fit the skin someone else thinks he shoudl be wearing. yeah i can't fvcking wait until the new resident evil comes out lol you don't like it fvck off. next.
and i'm married today. does my wife, approve of every last thing I do? god no. but she tolerates it beucase she knows that's who I am just like i know that her leaving shoes in the middle of the fvcking floor is just who she is. and while she does not really care for the fact that.. like if i am really really into a video game that's what i want to do, though that doesn't happen all that often, usually maybe 1-2 hours a week but like when the new RE comes out i'm glued to the Tv.. she doesn't like that. but she does like the fact that I am man enough to not really give a **** what she likes and doesn't like.
you have to figure out who you are.. the accectpable and the shuned, the things you want to be that people do not think you shoudl be but you stil want to be, you have to embrace all that ****. that is how you are going to be happy.
How can I say this...
I refer to pook's post here
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=58526&highlight=perfect+boring
And, hell I did the same thing when I came here. The zealousness to try to right all the wrongs that you thought were faults in your attitude your self esteem your career, you take a very gung ho approach to it and just start chopping any and everything that you think might be a deterrent to you getting a woman. there is nothing sexy about a man playign video games we have to stop doing that that does not turn women on. there is nothing sexy about a guy who watches TV so i cut out all tv. there iI s nothing sexy about a guy who is online all day so i have to cut that out. and on and on and on, until you are this, clone or this perfect RoboDJ who is just designed to be a lady killer or some ****.
To the people who think like this, I am in a very unique situation where, I was you, before you were you lol. I was, and still am honestly the definition of a workaholic. nothing gets me going more than working my ass off. Until I had this seizure I could have counted the number of days I took off all year on one hand.
Better yet, for those of you who do not know me that well let me give you a better example of what I did, so you can see why i am where i am now, and hopefully you do not make the same mistake I did.
By the age of 21 I was making 85k a year froma business I started 2 and a half years earlier. Honestly I was fvcking killing it. Not only that, we set our company up to where the company paid just about tall of me and partners bills, the only thing we had to really buy was food. Dry cleaning, rent, bills, because i did a lot of work from home, all paid by the company. basically every week I got a 1600 dollar check that was play money.
but to get to this point in my life, I wokred my ass to the mothervcking bone. half the time I did not even bother going home to sleep I had a couch in my office at work. I was young I could hanlde that better than most older people could **** it was fun to me. But still I worked... just too hard. tooo hard. I was hard wired to believe if i was not working i was a failure. I could not take an off day. i had to do something. i couldn't cut it off.
and i dated. I even spun plates. the fact that i was successful and always busy even made it easier. I didn't have to lie about being busy I was very much so.
one day, in march of 2005, I believe it was a tuesday, my parenter and I never got along, I knew him in high school and I didn't like him then, but we worked together great; we complianted each other perfectly so we tolerated each other. even lived with each other for a time. Well one day he the **** to a whole new level, and between him, me being so stressed out that I damn near had a mini bar in my office and I had started using coke though no one at this time knew that.. i looked at my entire situation and said you know what.. fvck this lol. I decided it was time to cash out and I did, by the end of the week I was done with a check in my bank of America account.
my GF at the time was very happy, I was happy, it took me about a month to unwind, i did not know how stressed I was until I got out of the situation. But i had developed quite the coke habit under everyone's nose. NO one knew at the time. i coudl afford it, easily, with my money I was making at the job, I wasn't doing onces or antyhing 150-200 a week wasn't a big deal an expensive habit and now that i had cashed out, it really was not a big deal. my GF lived with me and even though I was making very good money, she had a bit of an independent streak and liked to make her own money, so she worked at dillards in the afternoon/evening from I think it was 3 to 9. so my dealer would come and bring me my stuff and i would do myt hing while she was gone, no one was the wiser.
eventually she left, this is a long story so I willt ry to save the unimportant details.. eventually i stepped it up to crack, which for you non drug guys, is basically just taking coke adding some baking soda and water and letting ti dry into a crystallized form. it's much more potent and i liked potent.
now, i'm not going to tell you my entire durg history, i'm quite sure you can figure out the details yourself, i did my thing for about a year, i got off i've been clean since feb of 06.
when i started going to AA meetings everyone..t hey would look at me, and i didn't' fit the mold. not beucase i wasn't broke; you would be surprised how many doctors and lawyers are in AA... b ut.. to the avg person my life seemed fine. i had money, my mother is quite normal, my dad while he is a womanizer, is a very good dad. I had no abuse growing up, no history of drug use from either parent, no one understood why I did drugs. **** it wasn't even peer pressure. i looked for it lol.
one day, i had about a year and a half clean, and i had a few guys that i was a sponsor to and one of them asked me, backbreaker, what the fvck was going on in your life that made you want to use drugs. And you know, i couldn't give him an answer. i really couldn't. i did not know at the time. no clue.
it took me moving to a new city, getting my own new sponser who was a lot more like me, for him to answer my question for me..
i didn't know how to entertain myself. i really did not. i had no clue beucase i didn't do it.
see, i learned an extermely valuable lesson that to this day and the rest of my life I will never forgot.. humans, have a very natural need for entertainment. to unwind. that is in essence, what makes us human. fvck even monkeys sit around and talk to each other and scratch each other's backs and **** talk **** about other monkeys and stuff. and that was my problem. i denied myself this, beucas ei thought it was unprodutive. but my need to unwind drove me to seek other means of unwinding.
in short, my tireless unyielding work ethic, drove me straight to the drug dealer.
don't make the same fvcking mistake i made. it's not worth it. trust me.
now, see this is where i am different from most. I'm not going to tell you that you have to have balance or any of that hallmark bull****. I never said you had to stop working so hard I said you have to learn to unwind.
for you to be the best YOU, you have to nurture the part of you that wants to fvck off. Believe you me I know it sounds counterproductive. Your brain is like any other muscle in your body. you can over work it. sometimes you got to let it rest. you let it rest by doing mindless ****.
hell bill gates owns a 17 million dollar villa in south florida with a full horse stable, golf course and swimming pool. so the the man who changed othe way we see computers for our generation and has created more software that is more used by everyone on the planet can find time to mindlessly fvck off but you can't lol?
Today I work from home and while I still work more than probalby 98% of the country does, today i can realax and have no qualms about it. I play the **** out of video games. Love me some resident evil, resistance, dead space, anything with interesting plots where i can shoot **** i am in. I like Law and order and Boardwalk empire and mad men. I love college football. nothing gets done on Saturdays in the fall in the backbreaker household. I love roller coasters. I've been on just about every major roller coaster in the US.
I have my "productive hobbies" as well. i'm quite the piano player and i practice weekly and at times daily. I speak fluent french, i work out just about every day and i do swim everyday or just about. Love history and history documentaries. I like exotic animals and when my son gets a tad older i will buy a snake. too young now. i have 2 salt water fish tanks, one 100 gallon and one 300 gallon in the living room that I meticulously maintain .. **** is like having a house full of kids they are so damn finicky.
anyway, but this is what i am trying to say; i don't do any of that beucase that's what women want me to do or what i think i shoudl be doing.. i do both.. the football and the fish tank, the piano and the video games, beucase
they all make ME happy. that's who I am.
I am exactly who I am supposed to be today.
and THAT is what women find arousing. a man who is comfortable in his own skin. not trying to fit the skin someone else thinks he shoudl be wearing. yeah i can't fvcking wait until the new resident evil comes out lol you don't like it fvck off. next.
and i'm married today. does my wife, approve of every last thing I do? god no. but she tolerates it beucase she knows that's who I am just like i know that her leaving shoes in the middle of the fvcking floor is just who she is. and while she does not really care for the fact that.. like if i am really really into a video game that's what i want to do, though that doesn't happen all that often, usually maybe 1-2 hours a week but like when the new RE comes out i'm glued to the Tv.. she doesn't like that. but she does like the fact that I am man enough to not really give a **** what she likes and doesn't like.
you have to figure out who you are.. the accectpable and the shuned, the things you want to be that people do not think you shoudl be but you stil want to be, you have to embrace all that ****. that is how you are going to be happy.
