I think i got oneitis again about a girl and i think i have ****ed it up. Its causing me to be physically ill now. Crikey. Here goes.

I met this girl at the gym. She's in her early 30's im 41.
first time we locked eyes i nearly had a frigging heart attack. this has happened me twice in my life before, both times ending up in very intense relationships.
i diidnt like the feeling at all. I saw it as totally dangerous, so i left and started training at another gym for a month

i came back and had huge butterflies. she came over and talked to me, we hit it off and she agreed to be my personal trainer. i found her warm and open and there was a definite connect there....

there has been eye contact, touching teasing , pushing , pinching, joking. there have been calls and sms , she messaged me while i was away the other week and saying she missed me.

everything was going well.

i asked her out,
she said "its really tough my side" due to time constraints- she works 6 days a week, 10 til 10.
i kind of left it to one side for a bit. i told her i like her and she made me feel like a teenager , she knows it of course - but last time i met up with her for training she was kind of ****ty and really left me confused by her sudden bad attitude...then a day later she texted me again , we had a chat and it ended with her saying i was" hilarious and cute". But i am acutely aware that there is something that has bothered her about me and i have not spoken with her for a few days - we are now on the 3rd day, and nothing from her side.....

i am concerned about having oneitis for this girl - i thought i had it cured and i dont want to lead it towards me being totally swept under the carpet by this girl... in terms of looks she is a 9 or 10 and she gets lots of attention because of her large boobs....i dunno if i have now missed the boat- i want to see / contact her again but do NOT want to seem desperate and dont want her to treat me ****ty again...if i dont contact her, i am sure there are plenty of other options for her.....

anyway i am totally and utterly confused now on what i should do .

hawkman said:

i asked her out,
she said "its really tough my side" due to time constraints- .

Click to expand...

men please for fvcks sake....when you get a line like this it means 1 thing

1. no interest

forget the smiles, the little azz wiggle you may or may not have seen before, SHE DOES NOT LIKE YOU....

you should have tipped your cap and backed away smoothly when she said 'tough on my side' understanding it for the soft but clear rejection it was..next time you see her in the gym give her a slight nod and then the cold shoulder over time you may be able to salvage your dignity.

Yep, it's possible she was AWing. You were obviously targeted but for what reason? Did you actually mess it up or did she just seduce you for kicks from the start?

In terms of fighting the one-itus, go to a different gym for a bit, that will make it easier. You're in too much of a weakened state right now (I find myself in the same sort of state, bleh).

In future, don't tell her you like her etc etc, this serves no purpose except to let her know she no longer has to work for your affections....don't let one-itus throw off your game, difficult I know.

Think of yourself as an army that has lots of different soldiers for different functions. Don't let Private One-itus or Corp. Soft-as-Sh1te break formation and ruin the battle plan.

Keep it tight bro, peace.

hawkman said:

i told her i like her and she made me feel like a teenager , she knows it of course - but last time i met up with her for training she was kind of ****ty and really left me confused by her sudden bad attitude...

anyway i am totally and utterly confused now on what i should do .

Click to expand...

You certainly are. The best thing you can do is learn how to attract women who turn your penis into a catapult.

Scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the link that says "DJ Bible" and read, read, read. After you're done, go out and practice what you've learned because practice makes perfect.

She's your personal trainer? So you're paying her? In other words she gives you kino and now you pay her to tell you how to lift weights. She's a ***** without having to put out.

This is standard PT stuff (the guys do the same to their unfit female clients). They're like bartenders flirting for tips.

yeh but im not unfit or in bad shape, ive been lifting weights and doing martial arts for 20 years. she didnt want to train me at first because she reckoned she couldnt add anything to my training program, but she does add a lot and punishes me. we train and when we do a lot of the time is spent flirting and chatting. she just called me now (3 days exactly ) to shoot the **** and we had a good laugh...she asked me to go out and watch the football tonight, but i told her its too late for us both as its on at 3 am.

I dunno, its confusing as fck, i have met some really good actresses and she is either an oscar winner or she is more confused/fckd up than me!!!

You are confused about why this women is acting like she is? This isn't rocket science.

She was nice to you because she was trying to get more clients. You misconstrued that for attraction and came right out and said it. Her excuse was basically stating ' I am not interested in you'. If a women was interested, she'd make time out of her busy schedule. Do you think she'd give that half ass excuse to Brad Pitt if she was asked out by him? Most certainly not.

Do what the rest of this thread is saying. Read up, learn, ask questions. You have no shot at this girl as it stands. Make it a goal make sure you do in the future!

ok. ive been reading the essential reading recommended in the Don Juan bible, it makes a lot of sense. manning up as we speak. i was doing that earlier this evening b4 she called. after we spoke she texted me apologising for being such a *****. strange one.

Definitely sounds weird. I think she's just trying to string you along enough so you keep paying her.

She'll keep dangling that 'tang carrot in front of you with absolutely no thought of granting you entry.
In fact, in my experience, chicks like that are fvcking fellow PTs or young cvnts with rippling abs.

Just face the fact that you're a cash cow to her and nothing more. Read up on spinning plates. As samspade said, spin plates and your whole life will change because you actually don't care if a girl brushes you. But the beauty of plate spinning is that fewer girls will brush you because of the way you act when you've got a few plates spinning.

It's genius.