Hi gentlemen,

First off I'd like to say that this isn't really about women but more about being in a dilemma and asking advice from the older guys.

Basically I've been living in my current city for the last 4 years. I thought before I moved here that I wasn't really a city person, but after travelling around some of the poorer areas of the world I figured I owed it to myself to try and make something of myself and take advantage of the opportunities I have in life.

When I first moved up here I was playing a lot of sport and made a fair few friends from the teams I was involved with. Aside from this I only knew one other person in the city and that was my flatmate. However of the last couple of years a few other friends have moved here too so I'd say I know ~6 or so people from my previous social circle. I do still see my friends from back home but they're a good few hours away and I don't get to see them that often. Due to injuries I've had to stop playing sport which has meant I've fallen out of contact with the friends I made through sport and now only really see the 5-6 people I used to know. I've tried joining various clubs/societies to meet more people but so far I've met no new friends that have 'stuck'.

I also took up a decent job when I moved here that paid relatively well and gave me a tonne of experience that helped me get the job I have right now (I've only been with my current employer a year). I like my job and I figure I'm in a good industry where I could make a decent living in a few years. The only problem is I work with people a lot older than me. Don't get me wrong, I get on great with them but they all have families and wouldn't be the sort of people to go out for drinks on the weekend...

To get to the heart of the matter: I'm really starting to hate the city I live in and I don't know what to do. I always knew I didn't want to live here permanently but it's taken me a good 4 years to get to where I am now with my job and to get the social circle I have which makes me reluctant to move on. Two of my friends are also leaving to live abroad which means my social circle will shrink even further... these are two very good friends which makes it worse.

I'm now having thoughts about moving abroad myself. It seems all my friends from home are settling down, getting married and having kids. This is fine and I'm happy for them, but it's certainly something I don't want to do any time soon. Also, as I mentioned above, two more of my friends are moving on and one of my good friends is also settling down with his new gf so that's restricting my available friends even more. It feels like everything's slowly fizzling out..

I'm entertaining thoughts about moving abroad for a year or two but due to the difficult experiences I've had making friends here, I'm worried I'll be in the exact same situation there.. and I feel that I'll be shoving a spanner in the works of my career. Plus there's no guarantee that life abroad would be any better for me. I could end up there and realise I've made a huge mistake but by then I'll have already quit my job. I don't know if it'd be the answer I'm looking for.

Quite frankly I'm clueless! I know that I'm not content in my present situation but I'm completely unsure where to turn or what to do. Has anyone been in this situation before and what did you do?

Thanks

When I stopped playing football (Aussie rules), I joined the club's committee and helped the team on game days running water or messages from the coach.
This really helped me maintain the close friendships I had made as a player.
I've moved away now but I still get invited on the club's end-of-season trip away and fly down occasionally to catch up with them.
Staying involved in sport that way was really good for me.
Maybe going back to your old club in an off-field capacity would help you plug back in and find some purpose?

Move, don't move... wherever YOU go, there YOU are. Work on YOU, learn to be friendly and social. Learn to make friends, you'll lose them as you grow apart in interests,locations etc. Told my son that years ago... he has lost friends from grade school,now high school (as he goes through college)

Greasy Pig said:

When I stopped playing football (Aussie rules), I joined the club's committee and helped the team on game days running water or messages from the coach.
This really helped me maintain the close friendships I had made as a player.
I've moved away now but I still get invited on the club's end-of-season trip away and fly down occasionally to catch up with them.
Staying involved in sport that way was really good for me.
Maybe going back to your old club in an off-field capacity would help you plug back in and find some purpose?

Click to expand...

Well it's been a couple of years since I last saw the guys from that club so I'm not sure I could pick things up there again. But I think you may be right on your last point.. a lack of purpose.

sodbuster said:

Move, don't move... wherever YOU go, there YOU are. Work on YOU, learn to be friendly and social. Learn to make friends, you'll lose them as you grow apart in interests,locations etc. Told my son that years ago... he has lost friends from grade school,now high school (as he goes through college)

Click to expand...

Well this is my major worry.. that I move and find it's no different except now I'll be completely isolated and have thrown away a great job. It seems to be much harder to make friends nowadays. Most of my buddies have met a lot of friends through further education/their current job but due to the nature of my work, I don't get to mix with a younger crowd which really sucks.

To be honest I'm not really sure where to even begin. I'd love to get back into sport but I can't face playing any more contact sports due to the amount of injuries I've racked up already..

I'll have to think on this, but thank you both for your suggestions