....was the day I stopped caring about it.

The marriage was lousy starting about a month or two into it. I've thought about why this woman wanted to marry me over and over again. Given her personality and her desire to be the envy of everyone else, I'd say that she married me so she could be better than every other woman who was interested in me, and there were a LOT of them! She won the competition by proposing and making me her husband. Now that the competition was over, she had other business to attend to. She had friends to visit, video games to play, and money to spend.

It became a constant battle to spend time with this woman. Having a meal with her was a challenge, going out to do things together was a challenge, and even having a conversation was a challenge. I was always putting my foot down when she was doing something stupid. Afterwards, she would be better for a little while, but then revert to the same behavior that pissed me off in the beginning.

When you're constantly fighting a battle, you get tired. REALLY REALLY tired. It had come to a point where I was tired of arguing with her about spending time with her family (me and our child), tired of arguing with her about blowing money stupidly, and tired of doing all the maintenance work in the marriage.

Then came the day that I said "fvck it". We had been arguing about something, and I just said, "Okay, you know what? Do whatever you feel is right. Just go ahead and do whatever you want. All of it is fine with me". That was the first time she ever became suddenly quiet in an argument. She seemed blown away that I had just basically said "I don't care anymore." I wouldn't let her disrespect me nor our house, but I would let her do whatever the fvck she wanted.

She'd ask if it was okay to do this or buy that, and I would just say "Fine, go ahead". She could tell I wasn't happy, but she did it anyway. I just didn't give a 5hit anymore. I'd had enough fighting. I didn't love her anymore. The reward I got in return for maintaining the marriage was negligible. There was no benefit for me.

Shortly after I stopped putting my foot down, maintaining the marriage, and arguing with her, she cheated on me. Giving me the ultimate reason to kick her out was the best thing she ever did for me.

....or was getting her to cheat my goal all along???

i went to santa anita park today. big cap day. had a great time by the way.

anyway, on big days, there is this group of older ladies... i would say between 45 and early 50's. a few of them have milfish qualities, not ugly just.. their aging and it's ovbious and we are in LA. my wife calls them the man hunters lol. they come to the track dressed to the brim, never looking at the track just sitting there drinking checking out the scene like a club. make no mistake they are there for a man.

you have to ask yourself, these aren't, well most of them, it's like 6 of them, 2 or 3 of them aren't bad at all.. these aren't ugly women. I would even venture to say that 10 or 15 years earlier when they were in their late 20's or early 30's a few of them were hot ****. those are the type of women who thought the "game" would be played in their favor for as long as they feel like playing it. they played the game a little bit too long and their last man dumped them and they are single and old.

marriage in a sensr eminds me of high school football recruiting. the reallr eally good recruits, the ones that everyone in the country wants, can wait until they damn well please to make a decision on where they want to go to school and most do unless they just grew up a die hard fan of a school or really just do not like the recruiting process.

but the vast majority of recruits, the good regional players, if you like a particular school you better commit when they offer.

every year, there is a player that arkansas likes, and that player likes arkansas but gets so caught up in the recruiting process and they think they are more important than they are. this year it was a kid in Arizona named Javon Williams. 6'5, 190 pound WR, very good, good hands, good speed.. he liked arkansas so much he came on 2 visits to the school on his own dime. but he waited around for an offer from oregon. arknasas told him look.. you need to commit and do it now. he wanted to wait around for an oregon offer.. arknasas moved on. while arkansas liked him, he was so skinny there is no way in hell he could play next year he had to redshirt. so he wasn't a must get guy. he thought he was .the Oregon offer never came. ends up going to neither school. he over played his hand.

marriage is a lot liket hat and a lot of women think they are more imoprtant to society then they really are. the smart, prudent womens, will do their thing but when it's time to commit, they at least give it a serious try. the solid girls know in the back of their minds the gig is up around 35 ish.

but then you have some that think that the game will never stop and that men will always look at them like they do now and they overplay their hand. that is your ex wife. she gave a half assed effort in marriage, wasn't feeling the "spark" and she left. in 10 years she will be at bars chasing men down most likely sadly enough.

this is why I developed backbreaker's golden age rule lol. it's based on the premise that women over the age of 35 are damaged to the point where i woulid never consider marrying them. probably under no circumstances. for a woman to be 37 ish and newly single she is pretty damn stupid unless her husband cheated on her. what kinda roman decides at the age of 36 38 40 years old she is going to risk her marriage and go back on the dating scene? one with an ego the size of horse nuts that's who.

at the same time.. women under the age of 28, unless they are exceptional.. in the back of their mind they still know (think) they have one more "good run" on the single scene if it came to it.

a 29 -32 ish year old woman knows if she has a good man, this is probably the best she is going to get, and she's going to give it her best shot because she know if she is back on the scene at 34-38 it's going to be tough as hell

I would, NEVER marry a woman under the age of 25 under no circumstances beucase she knows she has a few more runs in her. at that stage marriage is just what you do when yo have lived with someone for a year. no investment for her at all.

Across the generations, it pretty much holds up that women have their first child at age 23. If you want to marry one with her head on straight, go after women around age 20-22, and ignore all the rest. Women older than that with no kids are damaged goods. Besides, if you want a happy home full of the sound of children, you'll have plenty of time to overcome stillbirths, miscarriages, and infections.

Conceiving and carrying become much chancier after age 30. Especially if they ever took sterilization drugs or had abortions. Nowadays, women think of semen as a pathogen. They hate men and they hate children. Many of them won't even perform a BJ anymore. The older they get, the more feminist ideas become ingrained in their behaviors. Good luck getting a 30s woman to love your semen. Also, the eggs they've been carrying around their whole lives were exposed to environmental pollutions of our industrial age. Hardly any of them have good reproductive health at the end of their youth.

A woman's value on the sex market is wholly external.

A woman's value on the marriage market is her sex value minus the knocks on her reproductive value. A 36-year-old could be a 7 sexually, but infertility would make her a zero maritally.

She was a b.itch who tricked you because her mind was wanting things like social prowess -- then she mentally checked out.

You tried hard until you burned out -- and even then she didn't care, and forced the relationship destruction.

Forgive yourself man -- you will find someone much better, much more motivated as you are -- you can love your child without having to love the mother -- you are a better man than her Des, forgive the past but know you have a brighter future.

Sorry your mind is dealing w/ that sh1t right now.

Buddha_Mind said:

Forgive yourself man -- you will find someone much better, much more motivated as you are -- you can love your child without having to love the mother -- you are a better man than her Des, forgive the past but know you have a brighter future.

Sorry your mind is dealing w/ that sh1t right now.

Click to expand...

It's not that I'm feeling down or anything. I just figured I'd throw my thoughts on here. I'm over the woman, but I'm just seeing if there's something to be learned from all of this. The way I see it, she was at least still somewhat attracted to me until I stopped being an leader in the relationship (or at least attempting to be one.) When I let her free to do anything she wanted, that's when she screwed around.

I've got a great girl right now. She's 21, low mileage (well, not so much anymore ) has a good brain in her head, and is very attracted to me.

Desdinova said:

She'd ask if it was okay to do this or buy that, and I would just say "Fine, go ahead". She could tell I wasn't happy, but she did it anyway. I just didn't give a 5hit anymore. I'd had enough fighting.

Click to expand...

This is the only part that would concern me. It's one thing if she's spending down your savings, but if she's running up credit card debt, are you responsible for paying that debt when you get divorced?

Fortunately, when I got divorced, we had no debts, not even a mortgage. Perhaps the good Lord was watching out for me.

It's a sad story to hear about a marriage falling apart so quickly. Usually people have a few good years together at least. But a friend of mine was in the army, got married on leave one weekend, went back to the army, and came back the next weekend to find his new wife in bed with some other guy. You'd think that when things go south so quickly you could get an annulment.

zekko said:

This is the only part that would concern me. It's one thing if she's spending down your savings, but if she's running up credit card debt, are you responsible for paying that debt when you get divorced?

Click to expand...

We never had a joint account and she never had a credit card. Any money she spent was money she earned. The only time it affected me was when she fvcked up on the bills that I made her responsible for paying. When that happened, I always gave her a hard time about it.

That woman bought a lot of useless crap she never used, and then gave it away or sell it at a fraction of what she paid.

People were confused about how we worked together. A friend of mine would say "she's not home again???" Her friend's mom asked "how the hell did you have a baby when she's never home?" They knew she was destroying the relationship.

I was very relieved when it was all over, although my starvation for attention from women kinda fvcked me up for the first couple of women I dated afterward. I was surprised at how uncontrollably needy I was for attention, but I guess that's what you get for spending six years married and alone.

PrettyBoyAJ said:

On the other hand though your $ is going to be garnished for child support and alimony.

Click to expand...

No it's not. We have joint custody and a signed separation agreement that states all our assets and debts have been settled, and nobody is paying child support.

Dear DownLow,
MaryLand how interesting.....Your Post is Soo spot on,you have obviously been there......One of our walking wounded,bitter experience shows in every word....New blood like yours is a refreshing change,hang around!

Down Low said:

Across the generations, it pretty much holds up that women have their first child at age 23. If you want to marry one with her head on straight, go after women around age 20-22, and ignore all the rest. Women older than that with no kids are damaged goods.

Click to expand...

See my comments here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=192455

I've been thinking this more and more actually. Maybe younger woman just haven't been as inculcated/brainwashed with the femnazi perspective yet, but they generally are more fun/pleasant to be around. Less entitlement mentality, less baggage, more respect and appreciation. Hmmm...

Thank you, Scaramouche. That's a really nice thing to say.

Alpha Whiskey, damn right! Younger are sweeter in every way.

Desdinova . . . hate to say this, but it's a female name. In Russian, an "a" is added after the "v" for women. For a man, the family name would be spelled "Десдинов."

I decided a couple of years ago that I couldn't take any woman above the age of 30 seriously. Changed my life.

The only thing a perpetually single woman above 30 is good for is pump and dump.

Down Low said:

Desdinova . . . hate to say this, but it's a female name. In Russian, an "a" is added after the "v" for women.

Click to expand...

Well I'm not Russian, so you're gonna have to put up with my culture while you're here