The ultimate problem with internet dating

DonJuanabe · Feb 6, 2012

Think about it. Why do you use online dating sites? Because you can contact women pretty much any time of day. Because they let you know they are single. Because there are lots of them at your fingertips. Because it's easy.

Get it?

In real life if you meet someone you think is good looking and go on a date, and you both enjoy the date, you're likely to go on a second date. If you both enjoy that date too, it's likely you will be dating. In other words, the hard part is the initial contact, the easy part is what follows. Because the initial contact takes (emotional/psychological) effort it is more likely than not that other guys have not done so.

Internet dating is the opposite. It's so easy to contact women online that the whole thing becomes a meat market. You and dozens of other guys contact the same women and the women are inundated with potential dates. While you might think there are lots of women from which to choose, you have so much more competition that the numbers actually work against you. Even if you go on a date and you both have a good time, she more than likely has half a dozen other potential dates waiting for her and isn't going to just focus on you, which is what she would be doing if you were the only guy with the cojones to ask her out in real life.

Dating is a real life experience. Why not start it off that way?

-DJBe

Equilibrium · Feb 6, 2012

You're right man. Every girl I met off the Internet lately is so ****ed up it's ridiculous. They're legit basket cases. None of these girls are normal, none, even the most seemingly normal at first. I kid you not, I dated 2 girls in a row who told me how they have severe anxiety attacks and take meds for it (no knock on any DJ's who have diagnosed mental problems, it's just you don't seek out girls who do - I dated a girl with severe depression for years and it was a nightmare and the last thing I want is a girl who isn't mentally healthy). I dated 1 girl who was Amish, left the compound, and was totally maladjusted to the outside world. She showed up to the date with a shaved head - NOT a joke. The girls who seemed normal on the first date had problems down the line. One was essentially homeless. One was 17 and lied that she was 19 (I didn't date her, because she made the mistake of Facebooking me and I saw her birth date and that she went to high school! She was trying to satisfy her military fetish).

What I gather is this: Internet dating is where betas go to find the undesirables of femalekind.

Sure, I'll keep using it, but only as a source of plates on the lower end of the acceptable levels of attractiveness scale, to practice game, and to entertain myself during downtime. But I don't recommend guys hide behind it as a buffer and make it their only source of chicks. Online game really hurt my real game because it made me reluctant to sarge/seek out women/do things and I'm just starting to overcome my approach anxiety now that I realized if I want to be really successful I need to approach and put online game on the back burner.

floydb25 · Feb 6, 2012

They're all crazy. Even the members who post on the forums are crazy. I still receive messages from signing up years ago, but ignore them all.

Serg897 · Feb 6, 2012

I agree.

Every single woman I have ever met online has been of low value. Emotional baggage, crazy, dont look like what they posted, etc. There is also the problem of communicating who you really are with profile text. I dont think there is any way to actually do this without writing long text that almost no one wants to read. There is so much competition for the quality women that it becomes nearly impossible. Communicating yourself properly and being noticed by the girls you want, bringing out the best in your photos, not wasting your time with flakes/ugly women/crazies/women you just arent compatible with are all variables to consider. Its an uphill battle, and in my view not worth the effort.

I have always had far more success and more meaningful relationships with women I've met in person.

floydb25 · Feb 6, 2012

Another problem is the ego and high standards that these people have - due to the attention they receive on there. This is their own little bubble; here they are the hot commodities that they can't be elsewhere. Naturally, this gets to their head, and they become arrogant and conceited - just like those who are "hot" in real life. They attention *****, tease, jump from guy to guy - all despite being average or worse. Much like the hotties - they do it because they can. This is where they have options, can flake, and act like morons / *****es, and get away with it.

Mostly though, people only want them for sex. They don't seem to understand that not everyone has high standards when it comes to sex (some have none at all), and let it get to their head regardless. They're so hot and in-demand - when the only thing they are is delusional. That's why all of these average, crazy women complain about being used for sex on there - its all the men want them for, and give false compliments to achieve it.

This happens, or at least used to happen, in real-life as well. A lot of average chicks were sought after for sex because they were easy to bag. That didn't stop them from gaining a huge ego and acting extremely arrogant, however. The same thing is happening on these dating sites. They're all crazy, desperate, and delusional. They blame the men, and claim they only want them for sex because they're so hot - when its really quite the opposite. They tell them they're hot - despite being average - so they can bag them, and ditch them immediately afterwards.

Horny, desperate guys will always seek after the easiest girls... Bars and online dating is where they go. And the girls do the same thing, because its the only arena where average, crazy *****es can get attention and sex. And that's what you end up with: a lot of crazy, desperate people in one place. Makes it easier to avoid them, at least.

Naughty Ninja · Feb 6, 2012

floydb25 said:
They're all crazy. Even the members who post on the forums are crazy.

^^^This^^^

I posted threads on getting emails and starting conversations with chicks on POF and only used it to pass downtime. Talked with MANY of them on there. And you aren't joking. The amount of people on there (normal as they may seem in their pics, profiles, and on the forums...) are totally insane, desperate, used up damaged goods.

If you are after chicks with tattoo's all over their bodies, STD's, pregnant, bitter old women, divorcees, runaways, the town slvt, bi polar, pill popping drug addicts, bi-sexual nut cases, been in threesomes multiple times, been abused, raped, are used to being beaten, serial daters, hookers, strippers, multiple baby daddies, single moms, whales, meth users, basket cases etc. Plenty of Fish is for you.

And people wondered why after numerous conversations after openers I never met any of them on there.

Why in God's name would ANY man whith options in real life waste their time trying to get laid from the above women?? EVERY ONE I mentioned was a REAL person, who had at LEAST one if not MANY of the problems I mentioned. And the more attractive they are on there. The more fvcked up they are. No joke.

I used the site strictly for entertainment and got bored and deleted my profile. I had many numbers and never bothered but called only a few of them. They were riddled with issues too.

Trust me when I tell you these chicks are responding to the best looking dudes with the best bodies. I'm good looking and work out, got many replies but knew what types of trash were on there. Now we could all say A LOT of women are messed up these days but for these women who use online 'dating' they are the type of women where you not only scrape the bottom of the barrel. But break through it and keep digging.

I saw a post from a guy who made me laugh when I read his review of Plenty of Fish:

I really think the whole online meeting networking thing is making women worse off. Even among the women who claim to know what they want they are poor selectors. How do I know? Well because the women themselves will tell you so--as many have on their review here. You could line up a million good normal guys then throw in one registered sex offender/ex-con/married man. These stupid broads will pick the sex offender/ex-con/married man every time then complain that all guys are losers and liars.

It really is amazing.

How the hell can you be so stupid as to end up on a date with a guy who's married? How can you be that vacant? Or a guy who's been to prison? Think of all the chances women have in their daily life, all the men they talk to and deal with, all the men they go out with, screw, tease, and flirt with and you're actually going to tell me that they've developed thru this experience absolutely no social intelligence whatsoever to screen these guys out? LMAO. Please.

Naughty Ninja · Feb 6, 2012

floydb25 said:
Another problem is the ego and high standards that these people have - due to the attention they receive on there. This is their own little bubble; here they are the hot commodities that they can't be elsewhere. Naturally, this gets to their head, and they become arrogant and conceited - just like those who are "hot" in real life. They attention *****, tease, jump from guy to guy - all despite being average or worse. Much like the hotties - they do it because they can. This is where they have options, can flake, and act like morons / *****es, and get away with it.

Mostly though, people only want them for sex. They don't seem to understand that not everyone has high standards when it comes to sex (some have none at all), and let it get to their head regardless. They're so hot and in-demand - when the only thing they are is delusional. That's why all of these average, crazy women complain about being used for sex on there - its all the men want them for, and give false compliments to achieve it.

This happens, or at least used to happen, in real-life as well. A lot of average chicks were sought after for sex because they were easy to bag. That didn't stop them from gaining a huge ego and acting extremely arrogant, however. The same thing is happening on these dating sites. They're all crazy, desperate, and delusional. They blame the men, and claim they only want them for sex because they're so hot - when its really quite the opposite. They tell them they're hot - despite being average - so they can bag them, and ditch them immediately afterwards.

Horny, desperate guys will always seek after the easiest girls... Bars and online dating is where they go. And the girls do the same thing, because its the only arena where average, crazy *****es can get attention and sex. And that's what you end up with: a lot of crazy, desperate people in one place. Makes it easier to avoid them, at least.

There's a big difference between getting a one-handed email and being the type of girl who can actually make a man want to stay.

The females that populate the online dating sites--especially pof--can't and will never be able to tell the difference. They can't help it. They're all attracted to losers which is why they will always fail at this area of their life--no matter how many hundreds of emails fill their inbox. Which is why certain guys who join and have the 'goods' that get these women to reply use them as a cvm dumpster and bounce to the next.

The chicks who reside on Plenty of Fish will all tell you the opposite. Yawn.

The lazy, with nothing to offer anyone besides an STD chicks on there see having to put up profile and pictures as an 'inconvenience' they have to put up with to get the ego, and fulfillment of getting the hottest guy they can land to pump and dump them. Most barely fill out a profile, read/delete the unattractive no matter what the hell the email says, and look at the pics then decide to respond. These women have never worked on themselves or their personalities and who would expect the 'princesses' to put work into a relationship?

99% of the chicks on there are there for the quick fix pump and dump ego boost of the 'hot guy' they landed for a lay and get addicted to the 'glory' of it.

Look at ANY review site of POF. You'll see TONS AND TONS of guys writing the same things about the site. True most are AFC, possibly married or not and just looking for a quick lay. But you don't see anyone talking about a great relationship off there.

Plenty of Fish is nothing more than Adult Friend Finder, Ashley Madison, and Ex-MySpace wh0res rolled into one convenient online lay catalog. Nothing more.

Dust 2 Dust · Feb 6, 2012

Naughty Ninja said:
How the hell can you be so stupid as to end up on a date with a guy who's married? How can you be that vacant? Or a guy who's been to prison? Think of all the chances women have in their daily life, all the men they talk to and deal with, all the men they go out with, screw, tease, and flirt with and you're actually going to tell me that they've developed thru this experience absolutely no social intelligence whatsoever to screen these guys out? LMAO. Please.

In the game of love there are no victims only volunteers and every woman gets her "just desserts" at the end of the day. This is why you should never be a white knight enabler or captain save a ho.

For every woman that picks an abusive jerk there are 10 nice guys that would have treated her like a queen, but she wasn't willing to give them a chance.

Free sites like Plenty of Fish are sausagefests where fugly girls are bombarded with messages from a dozen different guys on a daily basis. You're just 1 of 100 different options for most of these women. I found it to be a complete waste of time.

f283000 · Feb 6, 2012

In the game of love there are no victims only volunteers and every woman gets her "just desserts" at the end of the day. This is why you should never be a white knight enabler or captain save a ho.

For every woman that picks an abusive jerk there are 10 nice guys that would have treated her like a queen, but she wasn't willing to give them a chance.

Very true and yes women that end up with bad men cannot blame bad luck but rather their own addiction to bad men for it.

Naughty Ninja · Feb 6, 2012

Dust 2 Dust said:
In the game of love there are no victims only volunteers and every woman gets her "just desserts" at the end of the day. This is why you should never be a white knight enabler or captain save a ho.

For every woman that picks an abusive jerk there are 10 nice guys that would have treated her like a queen, but she wasn't willing to give them a chance.

Free sites like Plenty of Fish are sausagefests where fugly girls are bombarded with messages from a dozen different guys on a daily basis. You're just 1 of 100 different options for most of these women. I found it to be a complete waste of time.

Hell I just used the site to troll for my own amusement. I knew exactly the types of lunatics that frequented POF before I joined. Stayed on for a little while and got bored of talking to head cases. Never planned on bothering to meet any of the trash on there.

I can't understand why any supposedly sane person would want to white knight and wife up or get involved with the cvm dumpsters galore there.

Either they are completely clueless or just desperate as hell and don't mind being a jizz mop.

the poster who mentioned the forums there. Holy Sh!t. It really gives you good insight to just how fvcked up people who need online dating are. There were LOADS of sickeningly 'nice' guys and every assorted loon on there sometimes for YEARS. Point out truths to them? Give them advice? Shot down and dismissed while looking for E-affection and 'assurance' from the whack job women posting there. It was hilarious but eventually got extremely boring and disturbing. Like trying to make sense or rationalize with zombified residents of a mental institution.

Foreveralone's GALORE on there. No joke.

Naughty Ninja · Feb 6, 2012

f283000 said:
Very true and yes women that end up with bad men cannot blame bad lucky but rather their own addiction to bad men for it.

Any chick online that had (which is spammed all over profies there): "tired of the games, bar scene, losers etc" "Where are the good men at?" "No players" etc.

I saw IMMEDIATELY as easy targets for multiple future pump and dumps.

Unaccountable for their own actions. (Gotta love it. It's everyone else, not me. No self reflection.)

Those are a few of the warnings she gives as to what she brings to the table which anyone who knows those signs just hits and quits it.

"Yes! Please let me wife you up princess! I'll be the "one" you settle down with". LMAO.

the_stig · Feb 6, 2012

Some problems I've found with online dating:

1. We end up lowing our standards and settling, while they hold out for their million dollar per day CEO type dream guy.

2. Women are never satisfied. With the enormous volumes of messages they receive, they'll always be back online shopping for someone better, no matter how well you click.

3. They're all serial daters, attention wh0res, and players. Even if they weren't before, online dating corrupts them. "I'm new to online dating!" = Another one swallowed into the gutter.

4. Many of the "ladies" are only looking for a FREE night out. I had one last summer send me an angry 4 text length message rejection because I didn't buy her drinks first date. As soon as they find out you have money, they will ask you to bed with no protection. Many want to be knocked up for child support.

5. 90% of them lie on their profiles. Professions are twisted to make them some kind of "professional" female. Many list "no kids" and "non-smoker", but justify it with "I only smoke when I drink" or other bs excuses. They also lie about their age after they turn 35.

6. Is a dumping ground for: single mothers, gold diggers, ugly obese women using 10 year old photos, family issues, druggies, attention seekers, exhibitionists, sluts needing a baby daddy, bitter divorced sloppy seconds woman with a chip on their shoulder.

7. If you happen to get a girl off a dating website, don't let your guard down. They are more then likely still in contact with dozens of guys from it. Most are already in relationships to begin with. Hell, some are even on multiple dating sites that you may not even know about.

Online dating used to be a goldmine too. I miss the old days when quality women were abundant and I could line dates up in my sleep. Now, even with my technique and profile perfected, replies are scarce. In the last year or two, my message volume went from about 20 per day to 20 per month, give or take. If my girlfriend (that I met off pof!) and I split, I just can't see myself going back to that chaos.

Naughty Ninja · Feb 6, 2012

the_stig said:
The problems I've found with online dating in general:

1. We end up lowing our standards and settling, while they hold out for the their million dollars per day CEO type dream guy.

They're looking for a good fvck from as many top online studs as they can get for the ego boost. These women have ZERO to offer anyone they claim to 'want'. What in God's name would a CEO dream guy need from them that he couldn't EASILY get in real life?

2. Women are never satisfied. With the enormous volumes of messages they receive, they'll always be back online shopping for someone better, no matter how well you click.

Yep.

3. They're all serial daters, attention wh0res, and players. Even if they weren't before, online dating corrupts them. "I'm new to online dating!" = Another one swallowed into the gutter.

Bingo. Though I don't buy that 'new to online dating crap.'

4. Many of the "ladies" are only looking for a FREE night out. I had one last summer send me an angry 4 text length message rejection because I didn't buy her drinks first date. As soon as they find out you have money, they will ask you to bed with no protection. Many want to be knocked up for child support.

Wouldn't surprise me in the least.

5. 90% of them lie on their profiles. Professions are twisted to make them some kind of "professional" female. Many list "no kids" and "non-smoker", but justify it with "I only smoke when I drink" or other bs excuses. They also lie about their age after they turn 35.

He's not joking.

6. Is a dumping ground for: single mothers, gold diggers, ugly obese women using 10 year old photos, family issues, druggies, attention seekers, exhibitionists, sluts needing a baby daddy, bitter divorced sloppy seconds woman with a chip on their shoulder.

Exactly and more.

7. If you happen to get a girl off a dating website, don't let your guard down. They are more then likely still in contact with dozens of guys from it. Most are already in relationships to begin with. Hell, some are even on multiple dating sites that you may not even know about.

True story.

Online dating used to be a goldmine too. I miss the old days when quality women were abundant and I could line dates up in my sleep. Now, even with my technique and profile perfected, replies are scarce. In the last year or two, my message volume went from about 20 per day to 20 per month, give or take. If my girlfriend (that I actually met off pof!) and I split, I just can't see myself going back to that chaos.[/QUOTE]

See the forums. Ask a girl section. The 'advice' is EPIC. It's actually good there are so many desperate, clueless horndogs out there who need to resort to Plenty of Fish. It makes it easier in real life.

Just keep your guard up. I wouldn't trust any chick who's used Plenty of Fish.

DonJuanabe · Feb 6, 2012

Not sure where all this "they're crazy" stuff is coming from -- the point of my post is that the numbers and gratification from attention works against you. That's the primary problem with online dating. If you are busy with work and other activities and just don't have much time to meet a girl, online dating gives you a convenient outlet, but it does so for hundreds of other guys too. Many guys on this forum talk about spinning plates -- online dating makes that infinitely easy for women to do.

DonJuanabe · Feb 6, 2012

Espi -- exactly.

Honestly, *****ing and moaning about women being crazy means you've not actually become a DJ. A DJ accepts that fact that some, perhaps many, women seem emotionally erratic. Okay, the sun is bright too. Gonna ***** about it or simply acknowledge it and not be concerned about it? Accept reality for what it is because you're going to be going after women until you find a keeper.

floydb25 · Feb 6, 2012

Nah... These women are crazy. Straight out of the looney bin. This isn't an instance of complaining because you can't get any girls from there... Like I said, still receiving messages almost daily. It's a case of being disgusted by the types of people on there. I have to at least respect the person; not one of those trash-seeking guys. There's nothing to respect there.

Absolutely agree with the white knight comment... This is something that I learned quickly. These girls aren't victims, and don't deserve anything - including your sympathy. In fact, they attract what they are. Otherwise they wouldn't be dating all these losers in the first place. All these girls who ***** and complain are trash. Their personalities are ****; their lifestyles are shallow; they don't care about qualities that actually matter; they're annoying and stupid; they have nothing to offer anyone; they're horribly insecure and have low self-esteem (as a result of being worthless and unlikeable)...

This is the kind of person who seeks after losers - only to complain about them. The fact that they complain doesn't change who they are. That's what you need to be focusing on. Not just taking their side and trying to rescue them because they ***** and play the victim. What are they doing AS this is occuring? That's what's important - not the fact that they *****. Losers always ***** and complain, and don't take any responsibility for anything. They just point the finger at, focus on, and blame everyone else - when they are the problem, and the reason they attract this kind of person. Always, always.

Stop saving these hoes. They don't deserve it, and won't change. The problem is them - not all the people they ***** about and blame for everything. If they don't do **** - they don't deserve ****. If they treat people like **** - they get treated like ****. If they act like *****s - they get treated like *****s. So on and so forth.

I see this all this time. The only ones who are miserable, *****y, feel entitled, and play the victim are the worst of the worst. What a suprise that this is exactly who they seek after and attract.

These people are simply not worth anything. There is no reason to sympathize with them, or even care about the fact that they exist. What you see is what you get. Just a loser complaining about other losers.

the_stig · Feb 6, 2012

DonJuanabe - We're not b!tching and moaning, just telling it how it is.

Naughty Ninja · Feb 7, 2012

the_stig said:
DonJuanabe - We're not b!tching and moaning, just telling it how it is.

And it is what it is. I actually found the nuttyness of it amusing for a short while. Once you've talked with loads of them online and get them to open up you say to yourself: "fvck that".

Why root through a huge online cesspool to look for a diamond?

If posters want to try it and find a 'dateable' chick or a quick FB on POF. More power to them. I'll take my chances in real life.

sighsigh · Feb 7, 2012

Uh, I'm pretty sure men use dating sites because the only other way they could meet women would be through cold pickups and they haven't got the charm or the guts to pull that off.

Honestly, once you leave the college environment it becomes very hard to meet women (at least for those who aren't social butterflies).

floydb25 · Feb 7, 2012

the_stig said:
DonJuanabe - We're not b!tching and moaning, just telling it how it is.

Eh... I'm *****ing and moaning, and telling it like it is. Can't stand hypocrisy, or when someone has their head too far up their ass to realize that the problem is them. The fact that they piss and moan to no end AS they themselves are no better than those they ***** about... Hate that ****. They can't see it, either. Literally as they're doing the same things, or seeking after the same losers they ***** about.

A ***** will ask why guys only want her for sex AS she's trying to have sex with everyone, acting and dressing like a complete hooker, pursuing no-strings sex, and has no interest in a relationship. Or, why guys treat her like **** AS she's treating everyone like ****... Then, she complains that all men are jerks who treat her poorly, and only want her for sex. Not to mention the standard good guy entitlement speeches - as she's still being a worthless ***** and jumping from loser to loser. WTF? Can you really be THAT stupid? Apparently, yes. Many, many people can be - and are.

This applies to guys, as well. They chase after a skank - then complain that she's a skank. Or, complaining that a HOT girl is shallow for dating such and such, and not them. They're just as shallow as she is. I hate people.

The real problem, though, is when people sympathize with these types. Viewing them as the misunderstood victim, and assuming there's a fantastic person underneath it all - then trying to rescue her, and give her everything she wants - only to find out that she's a worthless retard. Nooooooooo. She always WAS a worthless retard. You only assumed that she was "pretending", and focused solely on her potential. Who pretends to be a retard, anyway?

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The ultimate problem with internet dating

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