Reading the other post on the forum about the guy not getting any from his S/O and the point was brought up that he has kids and that he has to put the kids first, so he might have to stick it out.


Why do people still say this?


I have some experience in this form in the sense that I grew up as a very young child, between the ages of about 5 and 7, with 2 parents who were going at each others throats on a daily basis. I have talked about my dad's women issues often, he did what he did. he like dto have sex with women regardless if he was married or not. Growing up our house was not all that big, and I could take one very long step from my room and end up in their room, right across the hall and i could hear them aruging often at night sometimes, all the time actually. sometimes he wouldn't come home, when he did it was one. one night he actually threw something at her. my dad has a history of trying to hit women that i have not talked about here, he's kicked a womans' door in, a window in, etc when he gets pissed. he gets sex but not the type of guy you want to model your game after

anyway, I can honestly say when they got a divorce when I was 7, my life was 1000x better. I still loved my dad and my mom. I lived with my mom and my dad picked me up from my grandmothers house from school everyday and i stayed with him until about 7:30 until my mom got home from school as she was in college still. I saw both everyday, i never wanted for anything. both had no problems whipping my ass when i needed it. I also made a lot of friends iw ould not have made otherwise becuase of my dad's new relationships with new people.

moreso than that, for the first time that i can remember, my parents GOT ALONG lol. they werent' at each others throats all the time anymore. my mom had moved on. my dad had moved on. fvck.. dare i say then even became friends. to this day actually. my dad can honestly confide in my mom and my mom can do likenesses with my dad. if my mom needs her grass cut and she's not dating someone, first person she calls is my dad and he will handle it, no questions asked. if he needs a few dollars to hold him over, picks up the phone, bam. my dad could finally come over and just sit down at my house for a while and not have to get the third degree every time he walked in the door.

hell now that my ad and i really don't talk, whenever he needs to convey a message to me he calls her.


take that versus my best friend growing up's parents. in retorpsect, Taylor (my friend)'s dad was a total AFC. plus he was fat as fvck. like really really fat. like, i would ball park 320 fat. b ut he has a stable job as a mechanic and he put food on the table. his wife, was a skank, though a decent mother. i wanted to do bad things to his mom growing up lol she had the w2hole milf thing going on.

Anyway, she, consistently cheated on him. Hell, a few years agto I went to taylor's sister's high school graduation and his sister has a different dad but get this.. lives with them! she fvcked her boss, had the kid and the dude's dad took care of it.

his dad could never trust his mom further that he could throw him. his dad was a baseball coach for our little league team and i played on the team all the time and like taylor's dad would always call me to make sure that that his mom went home after he dropped me off if he had to go take another kid home that lived far away. they woudl fight all the time.

taylor ended up getting stabbed about 3 years ago outside a liquor store trying to rob someone. good looking kid. hell my oneitis had a mini crush on him at one point as they went to the same school. was not stupid at all though I was smarter than he was. good kid. just a really screwed up upbringing. I remember nights he would just knock on my door and just spend the night becuase his parents were going at it. no one asked questions. it was what it was. he didn't have to ask. we were very close friends, almost like a brother to me.

I say all that to say, if you honestly do not love your wife anymore, or the relationship is not working out the best thing you can do, for you, for the child for her is to GET THE FVCK OUT. you aren't making things better by being the better man by sticking around.


I remember when I was 21 years old and i was banging this married broad named beth. she was 25 had been married for 7 years, 2 kids. not a single fvck was given by beth. I remember one day a sunday, she wanted to have sex so bad, she brough her kids over my house, let them play with my ps2 while i took their mom in the bedroom and did what we did.

I actually felt pretty bad for the kids. I mean, mom is a total *****. who takes their kids when she is marred over the guy she is cheating with's house so she can get some lol? do you really, seriously want this for your kids? This type of behavior is what usually resorts when kids grow up in ****ty relationships. sooner or later the pare nts are going to do what the parents want to do and the kids are just friendly fire.

had she been single she could have just dropped the kids off over dad's house then came over. but she knew she ha to go home and that wasn't an option because she couldn't explain to her husband where the f she was going back out at.

Agreed - my son will be the happier because both my ex and I are deliriously happy we no longer have to force ourselves to live together.

Of course there will be issues along the way as he grows up, but nothing compared to the sh3tstorm he might have had to endure had we stuck it out 'for the kids'.

This is a 1960's ideal with no relevance to a modern context. And people should stop parroting it without any experience of the truth.

That was a killer post BB. And I agree you are or can be a product of your enviroment. I've seen it too. If you are self aware enough and realize this when you are headed down the wrong road or just having a hard time of life, you can change things for yourself. But not a lot of people are this aware or introspective.

I'll relate a few stories too.

I met my 2 best friends in life in 6th grade. D and J. D had a twin brother and a sister who lived in a god awful house with ****roaches with his mom, who was obese (good lady though)....no dad. J lived with his single mother in a small apartment near D, mom dated biker types that were usually pricks. I lived with my mom and stepfather(interracial relationship) and sister. Stepdad was a weed smoker, alky, and hit Mom at times. Real abusive manipulative piece of crap human being. She's STILL with this guy!

D's mom passed away in 6th or 7th grade. J only saw his real Dad once in his life, ever. I saw mine frequently but he was super strict and an indimidating presence to say the least.

Well D ended up moving out of the innercity with his brother, with the landlord of their house who was close to their mom. He basically adopted them. Nice ass house in the suburb and good schools. I would spend weekends at their house in later years. Anyway this fella that took them in made them do chores every day, took them out to eat all the time, taught them manners, treated them like his own kids, supported all their athletic endeavors, pushed them in school all while being non abusive. Hell the guy drove 30 minutes one way to pick me up and each Friday and back again on Sunday night. Even offered to move me out to them schools with them. After high school they both went into the service and did really reallyl well for themselves. D is now an airplane mechanic. D2 is a MPolice I believe. Their sister, who ended up staying in the city got pregnant super early and ended up addicted to crack iirc, and was even on Jerry Springer...no lie. Three different kids, two different enviroments...two different results. Not even sure if she's still alive or she finally got her **** together.

J, still lives at home. Love the guy but he hasn't pushed himself. His mom hasn't either obvisiously. GREAT guy, great sense of humor but I worry about him.

My sis grew up with me in the abusive house with the stepdad. She saw time after time what my mother would put up with (and still does) and still come back to this dude. Well, she has 5 kids. She got with a guy that physically abused her 2 youngest babies, got them taken away, worked her butt off to get them back and I just found out she risked all that by getting back together with this same guy again...imagine letting a man back into your home that has abused your children and is the sole reason they were removed from your home! She has since left him but damn, where did she first see that was acceptable? Mom. Whom I love to death and place no real blame on her, she would do anything for me and vice versa. I can't lay blame on this woman, I haven't the heart.

Me on the other hand. I grew up super ridiculously shy. Any loud voice to this day turns my stomach. I got this from cowering when my Stepdad and real father would yell. When I hear someone yell nowadays I instantly tense up and I want to slug someone....if it's directed at me, let's just say I don't handle it well. I'm instantly transported to being that scared little kid except I'm a grown ass man now with the ability to hod my own. I realize it's not a good reaction and I have to curb these tendencies. I am a product of what I grew up in. I put up with disrespect with women too and have worthiness issues. My 2 oldest brothers have no problems with women and are usually the dominators in their relationships. They grew up with Dad.

Man I have definitely seen how environment can effect people well into their adult years. Especially those with no self awarness they are repeating things of their youth, or no want or will to change cycles.

Thanks for sharing that BB.