Holding open doors for women

AW1983 · Jan 2, 2012

Thoughts on this?

I was raised to always do so. Thus it is habit. Obviously I do not do so for men. Interested in the consensus as I never gave it a second thought. I think as long as you are controlling the frame and not being subservient in other areas it would typically come across to women as well-bred and civilized (as opposed to strolling in before them with no concern as to whether the door hits them in the face haha).

Die Hard · Jan 2, 2012

What, are women physically handicapped? Furthermore, why would I go out of my way to come across to women as well-bred and civilized? If anything, it's her job to impress me, not the other way around...

Scaramouche · Jan 2, 2012

Dear Alpha,
Since when is being a Gentleman a handicap?I hold the door for everyone,It is still the accepted way in this Country,may it always be thus.

Bible_Belt · Jan 2, 2012

I hold doors open for everybody. I think it's just basic politeness and decency.

edit: Scaramouche beat me to it. I agree with what he said.

Die Hard · Jan 2, 2012

Hmm, I think I misunderstood.... I thought this was about opening the door for women when it's still closed. But apparently it's about KEEPING the door open when you have already passed through it. In that case, I am surprised anyone would even ask this question...it's incredibly rude to NOT keep it open to any person, man or woman.

AW1983 · Jan 2, 2012

Die Hard said:
Hmm, I think I misunderstood.... I thought this was about opening the door for women when it's still closed. But apparently it's about KEEPING the door open when you have already passed through it. In that case, I am surprised anyone would even ask this question...it's incredibly rude to NOT keep it open to any person, man or woman.

You were correct. I am talking about: you and hb are walking towards venue side by side and you open the door and let her walk through first, as opposed to just bouncing in in front of her.

HalfAddict · Jan 2, 2012

I see no problem with it honestly.

Die Hard · Jan 2, 2012

Alpha, it seems you are proposing only two possible options:

1. You open the door, let her pass through it first, then you pass through it after her.
2. You open the door, pass through it yourself first, then let it fall into her face when she wants to pass through after you.

I suggest a 3rd option:

3. You open the door, pass through it yourself first, then keep it open for her so she can pass through after you.

JMoney172 · Jan 2, 2012

AlphaWhiskey said:
You were correct. I am talking about: you and hb are walking towards venue side by side and you open the door and let her walk through first, as opposed to just bouncing in in front of her.

From a pick-up perspective it really depends on what you are trying to achieve. If you're really only looking to fvck her and get out, then just walk through the door. Reference Vatoloco's Observation Log across the way in the Discussion forum.

If I'm out clubbing or going to bars, I'm the first one through, no questions asked.

In all honesty, you're overanalyzing. Just do what your gut says to do, unless it says to follow her around like a lost puppy.:nono:

FairShake · Jan 2, 2012

While there is truth to the idea that a woman would like someone who is not a doormat, a chump, or a pvssy when somebody focuses on this small part of courtship to the exclusion of ALL others you will get the over analyzing of bad ideas like this. Holding a door open for a woman does not make you a doormat, chump, or pvssy. You are internalizing a fairly simple and specific concept and applying it too broadly. The vast majority of women out there fvck, date, and marry nice guys who hold the door for them, go shopping with them, and converse with them. Certainly the kind of women you want to fvck, date, and marry do so.

Make sure you have principles and stick to them. That's pretty much all you need when it comes to avoiding the dreaded AFC label. If your principle includes not holding doors for women or demanding to walk ahead of them check the motivation for those principles. They aren't about getting laid anymore.

Slickster · Jan 3, 2012

This question comes up often and it is so silly.

If you feel like being polite then open the door for someone. It doesn't matter who it is.

Opening doors for women isn't going to raise their interest level by itself. It does give you an opportunity to say hello and make eye contact. It's not the greatest moment to start a conversation though.

Websterdic · Jan 3, 2012

i hold doors open for men and women.

Jitterbug · Jan 3, 2012

I was raised to hold the door open for women so I could check out their arses as they walk pass.

betheman · Jan 3, 2012

Like most on here, I was raised to be polite, have manners, part of which is to hold open a door for someone, make or female, its reciprocated virtually 100% by other men.
the only bug I ave with this is women, well the minority who failed to even acknowledge you are there when you do it for them, this usually gets a loud "anytime" at them, which I have to admit fails to get a response but does get the mesage to those around.
I hate rude ill mannered women but interestingly, the fact they are more likely to behave in this way, validates that they are not the fairer sex at all as many would have us believe.

zekko · Jan 3, 2012

Die Hard said:
3. You open the door, pass through it yourself first, then keep it open for her so she can pass through after you.

I've always found that to be an awkward and uncomfortable motion, for whatever reason, so I don't like doing that.

I do hold doors for men and women.

But back when I was a young lad, going out with my "high school sweetheart", I used to open and close the car door for her. Now that was a chump move, and I haven't done it since. I find life teaches you this stuff fairly quickly.

scrouds · Jan 3, 2012

Lets look at the strong and powerful. Who enters a room first? The head honcho? nah. Entering afterwards is the power move. Damn politiness, damn being a gentleman, damn everything else. Be the boss of the room and let the lesser folks ahead of you.

Men and women alike.

Colossus · Jan 4, 2012

I say dont be a douche. Hold doors for almost everyone. It has nothing to do with alpha or beta.

You dont need to be an as$ to be a DJ. Some of the greatest DJs ever were consummate gentlemen.

Mike32ct · Jan 4, 2012

samspade said:
I always hold a door open when passing through - for anyone.

^This

Here's something not everyone knows. When boarding an elevator, as a man, go on first and hold the door for the rest. When exiting, hold the door for others to leave first.

I do that too. Aftter holding the elevator door open for others to enter, I also like to stand near the buttons by the elevator door. Then I ask "Which flloor?" so I can push the buttons for those entering. The hotel should hire me lol.

Nutz · Jan 5, 2012

AlphaWhiskey said:
Thoughts on this?

I was raised to always do so. Thus it is habit. Obviously I do not do so for men. Interested in the consensus as I never gave it a second thought. I think as long as you are controlling the frame and not being subservient in other areas it would typically come across to women as well-bred and civilized (as opposed to strolling in before them with no concern as to whether the door hits them in the face haha).

It's sexist. Stop doing that. Women wanted equality, it's up to men to give it to them...lumps and all. If you hold doors open for everyone, that's just being polite and I'm cool with that.

3countriesPlan · Jan 5, 2012

wtf? I hold doors open for everyone cause its common decency. Who cares how old they are or whatever or what gender, of course a woman pushing a baby stroller is a no brainer. Sure, some of you might believe you are too cool to be cultured, but if the whole world was filled with PUAs in heat you could imagine what a sht1hole that would be..

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