Here's the short version...ever since I dated a HB back in 09, I've been on pof, completely obsessed with it (I didn't meet her on pof) trying to lose my v card. I did everything else with her including oral, the reasons we didn't have sex is because 1.)she wanted to make sure I wouldn't get attached 2.)Wa-la! I did get attached since it was the first girl I dated...got clingy and needy and she dumped me. To my credit, I also legitimately liked her...it wasn't just because she was the first girl I dated...she was "my type" blah blah blah.

Anyway, since then I've been curious what intercourse is like. It's a complete obsession, like beyond any male obsession. I'm very neurotic and it's taken over my mind and my life. It's not even a horniness thing, I masturbate like anyone else but that isn't it. It's just a stubbornness of wanting to meet another HB (what I consider a HB) and finish the deal with her and find out what the big deal is about intercourse.

I have bad social skills...well they aren't THAT bad...but I have clinical deficits I'd rather not talk about on here...so cold approaching is out of the question.

I do have a couple male friends, old friends from school that I'm in contact with/chill with occasionally, that if I told them the story, they would sarge with me and help me find someone of my liking...but that would also mean risking letting a significant amount of people know that I'm a virgin from my high school class if they let the cat out of the bag and neither have my full trust.

I get frustrated when I see other friends and my brother who are better looking than me, no social deficits, decent game, etc., and just get a bunch of numbers and first dates that go nowhere and no action...and when I read the stories on this site about how hard it is to get a decent looking woman to do the most natural thing in the world.

Ideally, I'd like this to be history within the next several months. I feel like it's more of a mental obsession that needs concrete proof...than actually being batsh*t horny.

What happens is I'll sign up on pof, see that it's full of UGs, message the local women that aren't UGs and not get replies back, get mad, delete my profile, then make a profile a day or two later, lather, rinse, repeat.

The only reason I go on there is because I figure "If I could JUST meet a girl on there, I could work game on her in person and maybe get a lay out of it."

Anyway, any help would be appreciated.

instead of deleting the profile, just make alterations to the text...rinse & repeat.

It's getting very difficult to get responses on POF because there's so many more guys on there now and the self entitlement chic's seem to be most of them. If you don't look like Bradley Cooper or George Clooney you're out!

I used to be able to send out 10 emails and get 4 responses back within 2 days.

In the last 2 months I've sent out nearly 30. I finally got a response this last weekend. I was shocked.

Keep trying it and you might find some higher quality women at okcupid it's also free.

POF should be renamed POSM (plenty of single mothers)

Clinical issues? And a virgin?

Work out.
Read the articles on this site.
Get hobbies that women like. (Yoga, dancing, volunteering, etc)

If you build it, they will come... ("come" HA! lol I did funny there! did you see it!!??)

The problems with pof are as you mentioned...not much to choose from. And the few attractive women on there, even if they're just 6/7s, are looking for George Clooney (I've done experiments with fake hot guy pics to prove this is the case.)

I'm not ugly at all, 6 ft, in shape, good fashion sense, not an ugly face etc...and most of the time they don't even read the profile (unless they have that "don't let the user see that I'm reading his profile" feature.)

I'm trying to figure out ways in real life. I can talk to women if there's pretext or in other words a reason to be talking to her. Like even with my social deficits, I'll make chit chat with cashiers, hot, ugly, old, young, male, female. But when I see my brother and friends actually pulling numbers, then not even hearing back from the girl, or at best getting some coffee or dinner date that goes nowhere (the girls refuse to hang out one on one)...it makes me feel like "If they're having this problem, what would happen with me?"

I admit it btw...the women I like are usually at least 6 in looks...in other words while they aren't america's next top model, they aren't ugly/out of shape either...but you'd think getting a 6/7/8 is like winning the lottery.

The only reason I met the first girl is because we had mutual friends on facebook and just talked one day. Sure I had to do the courting, and she found me attractive etc., but it was a situation that usually never happens to me.

I'm thinking of possibility taking a vacation and having several plates from okcupid and pof lined up, and hope 1 or 2 doesn't flake when I get there as well as the women I meet there on my own anyway, but that wouldn't be for a while. Ideally I'd like to take care of this sooner.

To the last poster...I do work out, not built, but not scrawny or skinny either...tall with average build...and have hobbies...but you make a good point to find hobbies that women like as well.

SgtSplacker said:

Clinical issues? And a virgin?

Work out.
Read the articles on this site.
Get hobbies that women like. (Yoga, dancing, volunteering, etc)

If you build it, they will come... ("come" HA! lol I did funny there! did you see it!!??)

Click to expand...

Yes. Do what this guy says.

Creating a POF profile and deleting it, and then creating a new one is the creepy sh*t that I hear about, but never had actually seen.

That's like, some next-level crazy sh*t.

You want women to want you? Focus on yourself. Travel. Go on adventures. Pursue your passions.

Being neurotic hasn't worked for you. So switch it up.

Well glad to know you have it all figured out Mantis. I mean, you're on here, too, so obviously something brought you here that had to do with dissatisfaction with your dating/sex life.

There's a difference between Sgts post and your post. He actually made recommendations. You insulted to make yourself feel better about your own shortcomings.

rhcp83 said:

Well glad to know you have it all figured out Mantis. I mean, you're on here, too, so obviously something brought you here that had to do with dissatisfaction with your dating/sex life.

There's a difference between Sgts post and your post. He actually made recommendations. You insulted to make yourself feel better about your own shortcomings.

Click to expand...

I'm sorry that it came out that way. But you have to know how over-the-top that is.

You're just starting out, and we all have to start somewhere. You're right. Maybe years ago, I was doing similar sh*t.

Anyway, it sounds like you need confidence. And I find that the surest way to build confidence is to focus on things you have absolute control over. Gym. Hobbies. Career. Overall life enjoyment.

We can't control our influx of women. Sometimes you're hot, sometimes you're cold. So go focus on what you CAN control. Leave this POF stuff on the backburner.

I left POF behind.....Best move I ever made. Do not look back homie

I agree that the pof thing is a problem. I also know, however, that the only reason I'm on there is that in my back of my mind, as stubborn as it is, I think that there's a chance I might "hit a home run" so to speak and find a decent looking girl that wants to meet, and then game her in person, and that those odds are better than finding someone in real life in my current location.

I'm not looking to be a ladies man. If there's one thing I've learned...how many women you get or don't get or the type of women you get doesn't determine who you are as a man. Some guys on this site (not saying any of you guys on this thread) might judge their worth on the number of lays they get or what type of women they get...but that's not what makes a man. There's that saying "You are what you love, not what loves you back."

I'm just looking to lose the V card with someone fairly my type (which usually isn't perfect 10s or models by society's standards) and definitely isn't better than the couple girls I've already dated.

If I happen to want more sex after that (which I doubt...this is probably a fantasy thing over anything and feeling like "it's virtually impossible") I'll just meet a compatible girlfriend when the time is right.

I'm also not expecting instant results...thus why I said the next several months.

The reason I'm frustrated is because I see people without my "problems" and better looking/better game not getting anywhere close to even being in a sexual situation.

This also isn't a validation thing. It's a mental obsession over the physical act of sex if that makes sense. I visualize sex in my mind non-stop since I don't know for a fact what it's like to experience intercourse first hand.

I would actually go to an escort, but when I've looked into it locally, it was scams (not real women) or 5/6/7s charging 300-400 for an hour. If I'm going to pay, she better be really hot.