How long should you be waiting before you call it a day with a chick?

I've been on 4 dates with this girl, we've gotten naked and make out all the time but still no sex. the 4th date i didn't escalate sexually as it felt like we were starting all over again cos she wasn't 'sure' about us (not a good sign) I can't tell now whether she's just leading me on and thinking she's keeping me content making out while she's looking for the next guy.

I need to call her tonight to arrange a next meet but I envisage even if i do get her back to her place to 'talk' she won't put out, when I make sexual advances at her she gets defensive but if i sit back she comes to me.. When we got naked that time she initiated it, not me. She's not a touchy feely person and generally isn't affectionate in general, so if i try to move up on her she gets uncomfortable.. (probably a sign she's not attracted to me and maybe why she only wants to kiss)

If she doesn't put out next time is it really worth telling her i've been patient and proven myself that im not after 1 thing? I think she can't decide if I'm LTR material and is withholding sex until she figures it out.. Or she's c0ckteasing me.

I can imagine her saying 'ok fine if you are starting to resent me then go, leave!'

do i just say 'ok' and leave? I want to have sex with her and dont really want to walk out on it as i have no other options right now.

drift king said:

I think she can't decide if I'm LTR material and is withholding sex until she figures it out.. Or she's c0ckteasing me.

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It's more likely a c0cktease than "waiting to see if you're THE ONE".

Situations like this aren't logic-based. If the girl is attracted to you, she will have sex with you. Then afterwards, she'll word about your LTR potential.

After 4 dates and no sex, I'd probably walk. A girl who thinks a man would sit around waiting for her vagina is a girl who doesn't respect that man.

If she respected you, she would assume that you have other options, and she'd want to stake her claim by having a healthy, sexual relationship with you.

How old are you? Sometimes it takes one date , sometimes eight. How much do you like her? Remember it's on you to press forward. If her mouth says one thing and her body another... Go with the body.

Iceberg said:

It's more likely a c0cktease than "waiting to see if you're THE ONE".

Situations like this aren't logic-based. If the girl is attracted to you, she will have sex with you. Then afterwards, she'll word about your LTR potential.

After 4 dates and no sex, I'd probably walk. A girl who thinks a man would sit around waiting for her vagina is a girl who doesn't respect that man.

If she respected you, she would assume that you have other options, and she'd want to stake her claim by having a healthy, sexual relationship with you.

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I think you're right, it's like she's talking a lot about the future. Cos we're both at an age where we are potentially looking to settle down it's like I have to jump through unnecessary hoops because she's looking for marriage material whereas if i was younger or not LTR material (i.e. successful, stable, looking to settle down) I wouldn't have to pass stringent tests.

I keep noticing her calculating in her mind reasons NOT to see me anymore and she goes 'I'm not sure if i like you yet or not' major warning sign in my head but i'm at a stage whereby i feel i'm very close to having sex with her I just don't want to throw my rattle out of the pram whereby if i just waited a bit longer it'll come along. I just feel like a chump reading stuff on here like i'm getting played but it maybe not the case.

She pays for me on dates or I get this she gets that. But in my mind that must be her rationalising we were never dating and are just 'friend' who make out. Just so she can justify later.

Case in point is that the 1st week she was texting me every day cos she was thinking about me.. When i brought it up on our last date she denies she ever liked me that way and it's 'normal' for a girl to do that. I knew then there's no reasoning with irrational women, her actions showed she was interested.. but now, no more texts daily so i dont really know if she still wants to see me. I've messed up and on the back foot.

Given what I've invested into this I deserve at least one bang. I think i'll give it 2 more meets then call it a quits. Is it worth saying to her 'things are suppose to move forward, not backwards?' as in we're suppose to be having sex now not going back to just making out after getting naked.

drift king said:

Given what I've invested into this I deserve at least one bang. I think i'll give it 2 more meets then call it a quits. Is it worth saying to her 'things are suppose to move forward, not backwards?' as in we're suppose to be having sex now not going back to just making out after getting naked.

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Do you believe that attraction can be negotiated? Of course you don't. Because you're a smart guy.

Don't say anything. See her a few more times if that's what you want. And if you don't get what you're looking for, move on.

But don't say anything. Telling her that "things are supposed to move forward" isn't going to make her wet. Ya dig? The goal is to make her wet. Which you've tried. And she's still a prude.

drift king said:

we've gotten naked but still no sex.

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how the heck does that happen???

st_99 said:

how the heck does that happen???

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she wouldn't let me take her panties off, she was on her 'period'.. could be bullsh1t plus she thinks i sleep around and wants me to get tested first (doesn't make sense, i could use a condom) however her insistence on that makes me think that maybe she's had an STI before if she's so insistent on protecting her health. No other girl i've slept with has insisted on that before we've had sex, only if we wanted to not use a condom anymore.

Maybe she has an STD?