Greetings,

I'm new to this forum.

For guys who lack a bit of confidence in day to
day life to approach a woman, I say, "go on vacation!"

In a vacation situation, I've noticed women
are generally more relaxed and friendly.
And I find myself that way, too. Perhaps
unconsciously, I feel that whatever happens
there, stays there, and doesn't really affect
my "normal" life. Being relaxed and friendy
translates to extra confidence.

I went to a small vacation resort in upstate
New York. There were a bunch of single
and divorced women there, most likely
because it was family oriented and reasonably
priced. Women were hitting on me (this never
happens in my "normal" life), and I noticed
that it was usually when I was doing something.

In that spirit, I suggest you find something
that makes you stand out. If you're excellent
at volleyball, they play your heart out (in
a friendly way) at a coed game. If you're
good at other things, like ring toss or
skipping rocks, then do that. It was in doing
those things that I was noticed and approached,
or was greeted in a friendly way when I approached
someone that I liked.

After your successes on vacation, remember
the feelings of confidence, and try to
put yourself in that frame of mind when you approach
someone else, or when selecting activities
to participate in.


Also, consider (both on vacation and
in "normal" life") dating someone older.

As other men have astutely pointed out,
mature older women usually have
done the jerk thing or the bad boy thing,
and are ready for someone who will
treat them well, that represents a sense
of security and peace to them.

But be careful of women who claim to
be tired of that. Actions speak louder than
words. I was interested in a recently
divorced woman in my area, until I
thought carefully about what she has said.

"He's abusive but, I still love him."

Women seem to like it when they have trouble
getting a man's attention or affection.
This woman's hubby had retreated into
a world of drinking and other naughtiness,
and apparently saw it as a challenge to get
him back.

"Hey, I was about to do X, and I almost called you."

The latter is especially bad. They're saying right
there that they're not interested enough to follow
through. And the sick/interesting part is,
they're telling it to your face. "I almost called you"
is a truly unnecessary phrase - if they had called,
then a conversation would have taken place.
And the lack of a call also speaks for itself.

Stay away from ambiguities, remember that
actions speak louder than words, and keep
in mind that women often mean the opposite
of what they say.