Here's the situation...you like a girl, she shows an interest, things start to develop and she agrees to go on a date with you. The day draws closer and she flakes on you, or gives you some lame excuse why she can't make it. Alternatively you may go on the date, have a great time and then after the date she starts acting a bit cool, you don't hear from her as much as before or maybe she just stops replying altogether.
There are a number of ways you can burn your bridges with such a girl. You can act desperate and needy, keep texting, emailing or trying to call her. Frankly, it doesn't matter what you write in these texts or emails, even if you think it sounds laidback, the very act of sending multiple messages with no reply in between shows desperation. Do this and you've blown your chances.
Another way to burn your bridges is by losing your temper or reacting in an emotional way. Yes, it is very rude to flake or ignore someone, and we feel she deserves telling off, but if you do this prepare to say goodbye. This emotional reaction tells her that maybe you were too attached and it suggests to her you cannot take things slowly and casually. No girl wants to date a guy who has a tantrum when she doesn't give him his way.
You can also burn your bridges by putting the girl on the spot or demanding some kind of answer. It's very difficult when you're left wondering if she likes you, why she's not replying or trying to figure out how she can be so keen one day and so cool the next. A lot of us need a sense of closure, even a negative answer, before we can move on. Unfortunately, if a woman is undecided about you (and by nature women are indecisive) or is trying to work out whether she's ready to take a chance, and you ask her for a decision she will likely reject you. Women hate feeling restricted or pressured into something, and will resent you for it. What's more, if she later decides she does want to be with you and she feels herself missing you, it's going to be very difficult for her to go back on her decision.
A lot of guys would prefer to have closure, to get a rejection and move on, but you could be screwing up an opportunity for yourself and not realising it. Women often need time to make their minds up about guys (or anything), even those they really like.
Best thing you can do is just give her space. If you don't receive a reply the day after a date or don't get an explanation for flaking, just do nothing. Don't even delete her from Facebook. Just get on with your life.
You may find that you never hear from them again, but oftentimes they will come around. It could be a day or two, a week or even a year when a girl realises she was foolish to let you go. However, because you never confronted her, acted desperate or forced her to choose, she will feel comfortable approaching you or making contact again. Her situation may be better and she may be more open to dating/sex/relationships than she was when you met her.
This applies to both men and women. I say this as someone who has re-contacted women from my past and as a guy who has been re-contacted by women from my past. I now know when I encounter cool behaviour after a date or flaky behaviour, I should just retreat and let them come round when they're ready.
Some women are just flaky, indecisive, attention wh0res, and in that case you should just forget them. Others, however, are just confused and need space to make their decisions.
There are a number of ways you can burn your bridges with such a girl. You can act desperate and needy, keep texting, emailing or trying to call her. Frankly, it doesn't matter what you write in these texts or emails, even if you think it sounds laidback, the very act of sending multiple messages with no reply in between shows desperation. Do this and you've blown your chances.
Another way to burn your bridges is by losing your temper or reacting in an emotional way. Yes, it is very rude to flake or ignore someone, and we feel she deserves telling off, but if you do this prepare to say goodbye. This emotional reaction tells her that maybe you were too attached and it suggests to her you cannot take things slowly and casually. No girl wants to date a guy who has a tantrum when she doesn't give him his way.
You can also burn your bridges by putting the girl on the spot or demanding some kind of answer. It's very difficult when you're left wondering if she likes you, why she's not replying or trying to figure out how she can be so keen one day and so cool the next. A lot of us need a sense of closure, even a negative answer, before we can move on. Unfortunately, if a woman is undecided about you (and by nature women are indecisive) or is trying to work out whether she's ready to take a chance, and you ask her for a decision she will likely reject you. Women hate feeling restricted or pressured into something, and will resent you for it. What's more, if she later decides she does want to be with you and she feels herself missing you, it's going to be very difficult for her to go back on her decision.
A lot of guys would prefer to have closure, to get a rejection and move on, but you could be screwing up an opportunity for yourself and not realising it. Women often need time to make their minds up about guys (or anything), even those they really like.
Best thing you can do is just give her space. If you don't receive a reply the day after a date or don't get an explanation for flaking, just do nothing. Don't even delete her from Facebook. Just get on with your life.
You may find that you never hear from them again, but oftentimes they will come around. It could be a day or two, a week or even a year when a girl realises she was foolish to let you go. However, because you never confronted her, acted desperate or forced her to choose, she will feel comfortable approaching you or making contact again. Her situation may be better and she may be more open to dating/sex/relationships than she was when you met her.
This applies to both men and women. I say this as someone who has re-contacted women from my past and as a guy who has been re-contacted by women from my past. I now know when I encounter cool behaviour after a date or flaky behaviour, I should just retreat and let them come round when they're ready.
Some women are just flaky, indecisive, attention wh0res, and in that case you should just forget them. Others, however, are just confused and need space to make their decisions.
