This is literally the only environment that I use to pick up women. I like the fact that I can rely more on my appearance and sexuality, and what I say isn't really so important. I also like the fact that most of the women there are looking for sex. It could be that night, for a one night stand or more, or they may be looking to meet someone new for a FB or LTR. My point is that it's quick and easy to find someone who is available. And best of all, everything is fast paced and you can get away with a lot more risky behavior. I'm going to share some thoughts on being successful in this environment.
Look your best
I know, I know, I mention this in every post. It's because it's it's the <<No. 1 Most Important Thing>> you can do. If she doesn't find you physically attractive then nothing else matters and it's already over. You don't need to be good looking, just healthy and well groomed. A lot of my success relies on this.
Look interesting
It's something else I have mentioned before. But again it's about attracting the right kind of attention. Remember that at any given minute you are in the club, girls are evaluating you. If you are seen standing in the corner, alone, with a drink, then any later approaches will not work. Always make sure you are talking to someone, preferably leading the interaction. Girls are better, but if you are alone in the club and haven't worked up the courage to approach a girl, start talking to some guys.
Nonverbal Communication and Approach Signals
Once you can successfully appear attractive, you have to be aware of a girl's subtle (or not) attempts to get your attention, and to give the signals that invite those attempts.
Make eye contact and HOLD it. Force yourself to do this every time you get close enough to do so. This is YOUR signal. You may get a variety of responses, some of them really obvious. If she holds eye contact too, for more than 2 seconds, that's the start of the mating ritual. Smile, and you should get a smile back. If this happens (and she's not there with her boyfriend), you have a very high percentage chance this interaction could end up in your bedroom. I've had girls blurt out "Hi" when I've done this. Literally any response, so long as it is not openly dismissive, is an invitation to approach.
If she looks away instead of smiling back, it doesn't necessarily mean she isn't interested. Some girls are just shy. Still look for other indicators as if you hadn't had a chance to instigate eye contact. Sometimes girls will position themselves close enough for you to start a conversation with them. This is not a coincidence. They are waiting for you to talk to them. For example, if you are talking to a group of people and you notice a girl has joined the group and is standing beside you, then she wants your attention. The same goes for any girls who decide do dance right in front of you if you are on the dance floor. In these situations look for eye contact, or just go ahead and make a move. If you get any unsolicited attention at all, they smile, talk to you or touch you, go ahead and make a move.
Your approach
This is what I love about the club scene, you can get away with crazy moves. If you have the balls to pull it off you can escalate incredibly quickly. This works especially well if the girl has already noticed you and likes what she sees. Sometimes you will already know this because of non-verbal approach signals. I like to approach a girl as if she is already my girlfriend, and being intimate is the most natural thing in the world. It doesn't matter what you say, I just say something off the cuff and take it from there straight into physical escalation. If it's on the dance floor, I just dance up to them, spend a few seconds evaluating their interest, and if I see it I will take their hands and dance together. Or if you have the balls, go for the grind. You'll be surprised what you can get away with on the dance floor.
No matter what the situation, move in as soon as you have an approach signal of any kind. Or if she hasn't seen you at all, just go for it.
Physical escalation
I get physically close almost immediately, take her hands, speak into her ear (so lips touch lightly) lots of smouldering eye contact, playful facial expressions, gentle teasing, paying close attention to what she says so I can feed back the things that are important.
It's important to pay attention to her physiological response to all of this. If she keeps hold of your hands, keeps eye contact, and there is lots of smiling, then you can get pretty damn close. If she pulls her hands away then you might have to work a little harder with the flirtation. If in addition she is looking around, looks bored, uncomfortable or starts a conversation with someone else, then it's probably time to eject. Pay attention to where you are in the interaction and what direction it's progressing. If she is comfortable being that close then you should be able to get a kiss really soon. But be aware some girls will get this close even if they have a boyfriend, so it's worth doing a little playful digging to make sure she's single.
If all is good, I like to dance a little on the spot. If you're NOT on the dance floor, teach them some basic salsa (or any physically close dance) steps (learn them on youtube), it's a great way to get really close physically and is fun and flirtatious. You can make fun of her for making mistakes, meanwhile your bodies are pressed together. Put in some 'spins' as this is her really performing for you, she's aware of it, everyone else can see it, and if you get to this stage you can almost definitely kiss her at any point. There are other little physical escalation tricks but this is my favourite by far. If you want to go for a ONS, the sexual tension is already sky high, if you want to take a phone number and go for something longer term, she has this memory of having a lot of fun with you. In that case, go easy on the kiss and the overtly sexual contact, leave her wanting more. In my case, I generally want sex straight away, so I keep pushing to see what I can get away with. Squeezing buttocks, biting ears or neck, not unusual. If you have the audacity and meet the right girl, anything is possible. I have even ended up having sex in toilets of the club. So always carry a condom.
****blockers
We hate them, but believe it or not they can actually work in your favour. The chances are the girl you're trying to get with is frustrated about not being able to make their own decisions on these things. Furthermore, they have been kept in an artificial single state by their 'friends' who have, in effect, fended off your competition. so if you ARE successful in bypassing the ****block, you are a much more attractiev prospect than you would have been in normal circumstances. Befriend the CB. It's the only way forward. To be honest, the CB probably requires more charm than the target! If you are really clever and skillied in a social dynamic you can introduce them to someone else, even someone you just met that night. Portray yourself to your target girl as her saviour from her oppressors, in a joking fashion of course.
Dancing
This is an incredibly useful tool at your disposal and is pretty damn important. If you can't dance, you might be able to scrape by. But if you can't you're missing out. For a start, the dancefloor is the one place you can proceed straight to physical escalation without even having to talk. It's also where the girl can evaluate your skills in bed. If you are a great dancer, she will make the connection that you are a great lover. Sometimes, when you meet a girl off the dance floor, she will ask you to dance, probably for that reason. If you refuse, you just look like you're no fun. And everybody likes fun.
What to say
I honestly don't think this matters nearly as much as people think, especially in this environment. Clubs are all about non-verbal communication. You want picture yourself as being charming, playful and relaxed. And just say whatever comes out of your mouth. Watch some stand up comedy and you'll absorb some of the principles. If you really don't feel comfortable talking to girls, spend more time with your friends and focus on how it feels. Then think about that feeling next time your are in the club. A couple of beers won't hurt, although go easy on the drinking. Drunk is not very attractive.
Competition
This is one area where it helps to keep the frame of already being in a relationship with the girl. If you have a lot of physical contact going on then other guys will probably assume you are together. If he asks, say yes, she is my girlfriend. Right in front of her. The trick here is not to let the guy affect your mindset at all. So long as you are getting more physical contact and can keep the conversation directed between you and her then all is well. Don't rise to any confrontations. Invite her to the bar, to the dancefloor, and lead her away from the other guy. If you are obviously losing her (more physical contact and conversations between them), then don't waste any more time. Eject. There are plenty more fish out there.
Look your best
I know, I know, I mention this in every post. It's because it's it's the <<No. 1 Most Important Thing>> you can do. If she doesn't find you physically attractive then nothing else matters and it's already over. You don't need to be good looking, just healthy and well groomed. A lot of my success relies on this.
Look interesting
It's something else I have mentioned before. But again it's about attracting the right kind of attention. Remember that at any given minute you are in the club, girls are evaluating you. If you are seen standing in the corner, alone, with a drink, then any later approaches will not work. Always make sure you are talking to someone, preferably leading the interaction. Girls are better, but if you are alone in the club and haven't worked up the courage to approach a girl, start talking to some guys.
Nonverbal Communication and Approach Signals
Once you can successfully appear attractive, you have to be aware of a girl's subtle (or not) attempts to get your attention, and to give the signals that invite those attempts.
Make eye contact and HOLD it. Force yourself to do this every time you get close enough to do so. This is YOUR signal. You may get a variety of responses, some of them really obvious. If she holds eye contact too, for more than 2 seconds, that's the start of the mating ritual. Smile, and you should get a smile back. If this happens (and she's not there with her boyfriend), you have a very high percentage chance this interaction could end up in your bedroom. I've had girls blurt out "Hi" when I've done this. Literally any response, so long as it is not openly dismissive, is an invitation to approach.
If she looks away instead of smiling back, it doesn't necessarily mean she isn't interested. Some girls are just shy. Still look for other indicators as if you hadn't had a chance to instigate eye contact. Sometimes girls will position themselves close enough for you to start a conversation with them. This is not a coincidence. They are waiting for you to talk to them. For example, if you are talking to a group of people and you notice a girl has joined the group and is standing beside you, then she wants your attention. The same goes for any girls who decide do dance right in front of you if you are on the dance floor. In these situations look for eye contact, or just go ahead and make a move. If you get any unsolicited attention at all, they smile, talk to you or touch you, go ahead and make a move.
Your approach
This is what I love about the club scene, you can get away with crazy moves. If you have the balls to pull it off you can escalate incredibly quickly. This works especially well if the girl has already noticed you and likes what she sees. Sometimes you will already know this because of non-verbal approach signals. I like to approach a girl as if she is already my girlfriend, and being intimate is the most natural thing in the world. It doesn't matter what you say, I just say something off the cuff and take it from there straight into physical escalation. If it's on the dance floor, I just dance up to them, spend a few seconds evaluating their interest, and if I see it I will take their hands and dance together. Or if you have the balls, go for the grind. You'll be surprised what you can get away with on the dance floor.
No matter what the situation, move in as soon as you have an approach signal of any kind. Or if she hasn't seen you at all, just go for it.
Physical escalation
I get physically close almost immediately, take her hands, speak into her ear (so lips touch lightly) lots of smouldering eye contact, playful facial expressions, gentle teasing, paying close attention to what she says so I can feed back the things that are important.
It's important to pay attention to her physiological response to all of this. If she keeps hold of your hands, keeps eye contact, and there is lots of smiling, then you can get pretty damn close. If she pulls her hands away then you might have to work a little harder with the flirtation. If in addition she is looking around, looks bored, uncomfortable or starts a conversation with someone else, then it's probably time to eject. Pay attention to where you are in the interaction and what direction it's progressing. If she is comfortable being that close then you should be able to get a kiss really soon. But be aware some girls will get this close even if they have a boyfriend, so it's worth doing a little playful digging to make sure she's single.
If all is good, I like to dance a little on the spot. If you're NOT on the dance floor, teach them some basic salsa (or any physically close dance) steps (learn them on youtube), it's a great way to get really close physically and is fun and flirtatious. You can make fun of her for making mistakes, meanwhile your bodies are pressed together. Put in some 'spins' as this is her really performing for you, she's aware of it, everyone else can see it, and if you get to this stage you can almost definitely kiss her at any point. There are other little physical escalation tricks but this is my favourite by far. If you want to go for a ONS, the sexual tension is already sky high, if you want to take a phone number and go for something longer term, she has this memory of having a lot of fun with you. In that case, go easy on the kiss and the overtly sexual contact, leave her wanting more. In my case, I generally want sex straight away, so I keep pushing to see what I can get away with. Squeezing buttocks, biting ears or neck, not unusual. If you have the audacity and meet the right girl, anything is possible. I have even ended up having sex in toilets of the club. So always carry a condom.
****blockers
We hate them, but believe it or not they can actually work in your favour. The chances are the girl you're trying to get with is frustrated about not being able to make their own decisions on these things. Furthermore, they have been kept in an artificial single state by their 'friends' who have, in effect, fended off your competition. so if you ARE successful in bypassing the ****block, you are a much more attractiev prospect than you would have been in normal circumstances. Befriend the CB. It's the only way forward. To be honest, the CB probably requires more charm than the target! If you are really clever and skillied in a social dynamic you can introduce them to someone else, even someone you just met that night. Portray yourself to your target girl as her saviour from her oppressors, in a joking fashion of course.
Dancing
This is an incredibly useful tool at your disposal and is pretty damn important. If you can't dance, you might be able to scrape by. But if you can't you're missing out. For a start, the dancefloor is the one place you can proceed straight to physical escalation without even having to talk. It's also where the girl can evaluate your skills in bed. If you are a great dancer, she will make the connection that you are a great lover. Sometimes, when you meet a girl off the dance floor, she will ask you to dance, probably for that reason. If you refuse, you just look like you're no fun. And everybody likes fun.
What to say
I honestly don't think this matters nearly as much as people think, especially in this environment. Clubs are all about non-verbal communication. You want picture yourself as being charming, playful and relaxed. And just say whatever comes out of your mouth. Watch some stand up comedy and you'll absorb some of the principles. If you really don't feel comfortable talking to girls, spend more time with your friends and focus on how it feels. Then think about that feeling next time your are in the club. A couple of beers won't hurt, although go easy on the drinking. Drunk is not very attractive.
Competition
This is one area where it helps to keep the frame of already being in a relationship with the girl. If you have a lot of physical contact going on then other guys will probably assume you are together. If he asks, say yes, she is my girlfriend. Right in front of her. The trick here is not to let the guy affect your mindset at all. So long as you are getting more physical contact and can keep the conversation directed between you and her then all is well. Don't rise to any confrontations. Invite her to the bar, to the dancefloor, and lead her away from the other guy. If you are obviously losing her (more physical contact and conversations between them), then don't waste any more time. Eject. There are plenty more fish out there.