I'm new here and looking forward to u helping me to quit being a puss with women.

So I asked this girl out from work cuz I thought she was giving me some good signs like lots of eye contact and smiling, touched me for no reason and when I stepped up the flirting she seemed to respond cuz a few days after I showed some interest she walked up to me and told me to look at her fat legs jiggle and she is very skinny. I took that as hey look at me and why haven't u asked me out yet. Anyways I'm kind of a puss so it took me a few days and I was getting c-blocked left and right. I got her to come into my dept but things didn't as planned as she didn't bite on me telling her she would have to buy me dinner if she got the raise I told her to ask for so I almost let her go but then as she was packing to leave I walked up and asked what she was doing sat... We were supposed to go out saturday but when I went to confirm at work before I left she said she may not go but would call me. She never called and then texted me at 10 saying we would have to reschedule but I probably assumed that by now, sorry. I didn't say anythign back but my phone may have resent a text to her saying "sure" from eariler which I don't actually mind but I haven't contacted since nor has she.

I was pretty pist of that she left me hanging but I've had a couple of days off to let it go. But now I have got to see her at work and I'm planning trying to pretend like it doesn't bother me tho if she says anything all I'm going to say it would have been nice if u called to let me know but it is all good and then just deal with her as normal as possble when I have to and see what she does. She is really hot and before this I thought a real sweet girl or I wouldn't have **** in my back yard so part of me hopes she tries to make it up to me but then again this is pretty much unforgivable so I just want to leave it alone. What is the best way to proceed?

aron77 said:

She is really hot and before this I thought a real sweet girl or I wouldn't have **** in my back yard so part of me hopes she tries to make it up to me but then again this is pretty much unforgivable so I just want to leave it alone. What is the best way to proceed?

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Well, first - just leave it alone, like you said.

Treat her alright when you see her - as in saying hello and being a regular coworker. Lay off the flirting. She fed off your attention, until the point when you asked her out....let's see how she reacts when you're being polite, but not as warm as before.

Sometimes, this is the point when girls put-up-or-shut-up. She'll either say "Aron, where have ya been? You dont talk to me as much." At that point, you know you have at least a LITTLE something she wants (attention), and you can gain control of the situation. Maybe even wait a few weeks, and casually ask her to join you for a happy hour.

Or, she doesn't respond to you pulling back at all. And you now confirm that she was a waste of time.

Either way, being friendly, but taking away her precious flirting/attention is the path to go down. She'll try to regain your love, or she'll disappear.

WTF does I **** in my back yard mean?? LOL


Secondly its all about actions over words in this game bro.

This chick was showing you interest and you asked her out and she couldn't make it. And while she didn't "flake" per say, the fact that she waited til 10 to even text you is never a good sign. One of two things is going on:

1) she wants you to chase her since she likes playing games

2) she is an attention w-hore who enjoys male attention


The only way to figure this out is to stay on course. Don't show any anger towards her, just keep flirting with her and see how she reacts. Wait it out a few days to a week and then set up another date. If she gives you the run around again, then you know she didn't have any real interest in you OR you might have done or said something that killed the attraction.

Lastly, try and set up a date during the week, it increases the chances of her saying yes compared to the weekend when most people are doing things. If she can't make it and doesn't offer another specific day, then get rid of her.





PIMP

Crapping in your back yard means dating at work.

Well these are two diametricly opposed answers. Lay off or stay on course hmmm. At this point I need her to come after me and be appologetic for anything to happen cuz that text was some bs, no explanation nothing and barely even said sorry and that is after me not hearing anything for 8 hours and 3 hours past when we set to meet.

She is talking to someone else there and as a matter of fact the day I asked her out I heard him talking about her pressing him to go shoot pool at some bar, alone or with friends idk, and then I saw her asking him if he was going; I actually thought she was doing this to make me jealous since I hadn't made a move. This is puzzling cuz this guy is a total tool but he does do somethign I don't and that is ask out almost every girl at this job and can be persistent but most of them give that ewww face when he speaks to them. He is lazy, fat and sloppy, and only has his job cuz his mom is his super or he would have been fired by now cuz she babies him. While I am hard working and well liked up there and tho I'm chubby I am very muscular and athletic and clearly better looking which says more about him than me and I have a bachelors degree and am only working there til I find an accounting job. This other guy is emotionally immature and the butt of alot of jokes and the weird stalker type so I totally don't get it and I cannot believe they r anything but friends cuz she is hot. I could be wrong but me nor anyone else gets y she is hanging out with him and dont' believe they r dating at all but based on her pressing him to hang out who knows. Hands down I am much better than him and I can honestly say this is objective and not out of jealousy so unless it is just his persistence then I don't know what the hell she is doing even hanging with him. Idk if this has any bearing or not but it is certainly messing with my head to think she might like him better than me.

Another dynamic is that she is black and I am white and so is the other guy but I've dated a black girl before and like them which only makes me like her more.

Yeah what is the deal with this backyard? lol what???

I think he's confusing the metaphor of "don't sh!t where you eat."

To the OP, act like nothing happened and that you don't even remember that she blew you off. Pull back your attention and try again later.

look at what ur doing... ur telling us to get on ur side to help when u should just be writing all this **** to her.

I've heard it both ways as far as the ****ting, backyard or where you eat.

I definatly give a crap too much and have my eggs in one basket so this did f with me alot, she is so hot and seemed so nice and I was very excited, too excited and crushed when she left me hanging. At this point I am wondering if she was ever interested despite what appeared to be great signs and of course saying yes. If she is then she is going to have to come get me. I'm surprized that many of u r saying to go for it again later on cuz shouldn't I make her come to me no matter what at this point? But the only way I would ever bring up taking her out again is if she shows me alot.


She is hanging out with another guy from work but I nor anyone can even fathom that she is actually dating him cuz he is almost undateable. I'm not saying this out of jealousy cuz other girls there r like no way she is dating him, but unlike me he has no problem asking every girl at work out but most of them r like eww. But the day I asked her out I heard her pressing him asking if he was going to go to this bar to shoot pool, I assumed as friends and in a group but I don't know. I'd be on suicide watch if she is really seeing him and flaked on me.

Now, that's a Smart Phone! haha "I didn't say anythign back but my phone may have resent a text to her saying "sure" from eariler which I don't actually mind but I haven't contacted since nor has she."