Drama Queens

[Poosy Marauder]

I was getting a haircut the other night and I overheard some woman telling another..

"You know I need to have a little drama in my life"

A lot of women fall into this category.
I guess it comes from a life of watching soap operas and Oprah.

These women need to FEEL something..ANYTHING...even if it is a negative otherwise they grow bored and move on to the next guy.

This is why it sometimes pays to mix things up a little. One day be sweet and romantic and the next day be cold and distant.

Guaranteed she'll spend HOURS on the phone dissecting and analysing every nuance of your behaviour with her girlfriends.

They are intrigued by the changes in your behaviour.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.
Most women are emotional masochists.

They love a little relationship drama to spice their lives and have some challenge to overcome.

Opinions?


[This message has been edited by Poosy Marauder (edited 11-17-2001).]

[Take No Dirt]

Poosy Marauder, thanks for another superb thread!

Yes, I agree with you there! Women tend to get bored with the same old "nice" treatment they get with guys. They like mood swings it would seem so that their bodily system gets a good workout. Nice guys are always worrying about treating women nicely while jerks treat their gals like s***. The DJ (great guy) does it just right, i.e., he knows exactly how to push the right buttons with females. That's why women consider the DJ a challenge and a mystery in that his conduct toward them is never predictable.

[This message has been edited by Take No Dirt (edited 11-18-2001).]

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Take No Dirt:
Poosy Marauder, thanks for another superb thread!

Yes, I agree with you there! Women tend to get bored with the same old "nice" treatment they get with guys. They like mood swings it would seem so that their bodily system gets a good workout. Nice guys are always worrying about treating women nicely while jerks treat their gals like s***. The DJ (great guy) does it just right, i.e., he knows exactly how to push the right buttons with females. That's why women consider the DJ a challenge and a mystery in that his conduct toward them is never predictable.

[This message has been edited by Take No Dirt (edited 11-18-2001).]

Being unpredictible is good, but in my opinion, switch that cold distance to teasing playfulness and make the mood chage to something positive instead of negative. Usually you can get the same results but the woman will be in a much better mood. The cold distance feels like punishment and is best used when the woman does or says something that you don't like. Punishing someone who hasn't done something you don't like will confuse them in most cases. Again, this is how I would view that kind of treatment, and is not necessarily something every woman would pick up on.

[Take No Dirt]

Ms Wyldfire, thanks for your insight. You're right of course. A DJ has to gauge his gal correctly so he won't turn her the wrong way. There has to be just the right mix in order to maintain the challenge and mystery without driving the lady away. Boredom affects both males and females.

[Sir_Chancealot]

If a woman NEEDS drama in her life, you do not want her. Trust me on this.

[Juan_Man]

I agree with Sir_Chancealot. If you feel like treating her well, then treat her well. If she starts blowing you off, then she doesn't deserve you. However, there is a fine line between being a good boyfriend and being a total pushover. Don't go out of your way for her unless you feel it's the right thing to do.

[Jake Steed]

Excellent observation, Poosy.

You're right on the money. Every aspiring DJ needs to keep in mind that EVERY woman loves drama in their boring ass lives to some degree.

One of my exes, who I had a two year relationship with once said to me tearfully after I broke up with her, "Why is it the one who makes me feel the best (Jake Steed) is the one who hurts me the most?"

By the way, of all my relationships, SHE's the one who stood by me the longest and through the most hardships.

All because I gave her drama.

WOMEN ARE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS.

They say, "Ohhh, look at that hot guy on that motorcycle. He looks so DANGEROUS! I must have him!"

Then she gets him and 5 years later, "I don't like you on that motorcycle! Those things are dangerous. I want you to sell it and WE should get something more practical...like a station wagon."

OR

She sees a successful, career oriented guy and says, "Ooohh...look at him. He has his life together and he's so successful! He has such a great, exciting job! Ambition turns me on. I must have him."

She gets him and 5 years later she's throwing a vase at his head, "You don't spend enough time with me! All you do is work! If you loved me, you'd take more time off to spend with me."

See what I'm getting at? Why do women feel the need to seek out a guy and become involved with him, then try to CASTRATE HIM AND STRIP HIM OF THE VERY THING THEY WERE ATTRACTED TO IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Because, like Poosy said, women love drama. THAT'S why they get mixed up with jerks who treat them like shyt.

THAT'S why they love to "change" a man.

THAT'S why they start a fight with you over nothing 5 min before going out for New Years. (This has happened to me sooo many times.)

And THAT'S why HER INTEREST LEVEL WILL GO UP IF YOU WAIT AT LEAST 4 DAYS TO CALL.

My word is gold. Ignore it and be lonely or stepped on.

Jake

[BigBill]

There is a payoff.

My sister does this kind of thing bigtime. At first it got her a lot of sympathy and attention from me, my mom and the rest of the family. pretty soon though we noticed that she was going with these really loser drug dealer/addict types. They would kick her ass or do something really fukked up to her and there shed be cryying and suffering and getting all sorts of attention. Then the next week guess which guy she went back to?

hmmm.... we saw a pattern there. we ended up having to pretty much cut her out of our lives as a family which is sad because I love my sis. But love or no love I chose a certain life for myself that is free of drugs, crime, and the problems associated with them. Sadly, because of the life she has chosen I can't let her into mine without letting those problems and that garbage come in with it. I've kicked a guy's ass for her and could have gotten arrested for it (she went back to him later) and helped her get drugs when she needed a fix and finally I realized that if I kept it up, she was going to pay the price for her choices and I was going to pay right along with her if I didnt just let her be.

I feel the same way about any woman I might consider. Adn even about my twin girls. I love them more than I love anything else, and I'm doign all I can to teach them what they need to know to make smart choices in life. but if they choose drugs/crime/violent men, then I will love them...from a GREAT distance and make it clear to them that unless or until they get their acts together, they are not welcome at my home.

[JPFromTally]

I'm gathering from watching TV that it is now also becoming fashionable for women to admit they are drama queens. I've seen a lot of this when women are describing themselves on those dating shows.

[Gipper]

Interesting topic, Poosy, as always!

Yes, like the uncontrollable urge that salmon have to spawn, or birds to fly south for the winter, women cannot control the urge to create conflict in their romantic lives.

Why? is the main question, I suppose. If things are going well in a relatinship, the woman might feel she needs to add a little drama in order to "spice things up".

Perhaps her own insecurities generate a need for her to force the man to PROVE he still cares for her.

The man, on the other hand, is just grateful things have been cruising along smoothly for a while.

Women, of course, will deny they do this. It's like sleepwalking; they don't know they are doing it, but are powerless to stop.

Makes ya think, huh?

Gipper

[Don Phenom]

I have girls I know tell me that they create problems with their boyfriends just to fight. They know they need it, is sooooo stupid to us guys but hey. If they need drama to feel comfortable I say we give it to um.

------------------
Don Phenom-Unphasable, you couldn't make me lose my cool if you set me on fire. I will not lose!

[Wyldfire]

Drama, excitement...same difference.

Women don't like to be bored. If we have too much time to think we will overanalyze things and look for problems that aren't even there. That makes us start to get uncomfortable and insecure. That's when the imagination kicks into overdrive and all hell breaks loose. To avoid this, keep the woman on her toes so she doesn't have time to do this. Don't do it in a negative way, though, because that's kind of defeating the whole purpose of keeping her too busy anticipating to be creating crises.

[Take No Dirt]

Originally posted by Wyldfire:
Drama, excitement...same difference.

Women don't like to be bored. If we have too much time to think we will overanalyze things and look for problems that aren't even there. That makes us start to get uncomfortable and insecure. That's when the imagination kicks into overdrive and all hell breaks loose. To avoid this, keep the woman on her toes so she doesn't have time to do this. Don't do it in a negative way, though, because that's kind of defeating the whole purpose of keeping her too busy anticipating to be creating crises.
----------------

Wyldfire brought up some very good points there.

How many bored wives eventually cheated on their hubbies...

[Jake Steed]

"To avoid this, keep the woman on her toes so she doesn't have time to do this."

Or here's a suggestion. Maybe women should go out and get jobs like us men so they'd be TOO DAMN FVCKING BUSY to do this shyt.

Or maybe women should just stop being so FVCKING INSANE.

If I sense my girl is trying to cook up drama, oh I give her drama all right. I break her heart and make her cry.

Jake

[Gipper]

Originally posted by Jake Steed:
"To avoid this, keep the woman on her toes so she doesn't have time to do this."

Or here's a suggestion. Maybe women should go out and get jobs like us men so they'd be TOO DAMN FVCKING BUSY to do this shyt.

Or maybe women should just stop being so FVCKING INSANE.

If I sense my girl is trying to cook up drama, oh I give her drama all right. I break her heart and make her cry.

Jake

I sense some anger, Jake. Want to talk about it?

JUST KIDDING!

Gipper

[Wyldfire]

Jake, women aren't being "insane"...they are just different than men. We think differently, feel differently, communicate differently, process things differently. It's not something anyone can change, it's just how things are. Women get just as frustrated with men as men get frustrated with women and we don't understand you guys any better than you understand us. At the same time, we crave each other. LOL It's not fair, it's not easy, it drives you nuts, and it's pretty much the same hand we're all dealt with.

[Wyldfire]

One more thing...

guys don't normally see this "drama" coming. They get blindsighted by it, sort of like a hit and run. Women are masters at the element of surprise when it comes to this. You can be sitting there getting along great and having a marvelous time (or so you thought) and then...WHAM...she says "Does this dress make me look fat?". You guys ALL know that you are screwed no matter what you say to her and you didn't even see it coming. Mind you...about 15 minutes prior to this question, she was certain she saw you looking at a woman she thinks looks better than she does. She has spent the last 15 minutes convincing herself that you want that other girl more than her and she is compelled to "get to the truth"...of course it's totally irrational, but it's pure emotion and insecurity and at that moment, it all makes sense to the woman. Is she going to come right out and admit why she is asking this? Hell no! She's creating this crisis to get your undivided attention and make sure you stop looking at that other woman's @ss! It's sneaky, covert and works every damn time!

I'm really trying to help you guys be able to see this stuff coming so you can better handle it, but some of you are taking it entirely wrong.

[WildThang]

Originally posted by Jake Steed:
"To avoid this, keep the woman on her toes so she doesn't have time to do this."

Or here's a suggestion. Maybe women should go out and get jobs like us men so they'd be TOO DAMN FVCKING BUSY to do this shyt.

Or maybe women should just stop being so FVCKING INSANE.

If I sense my girl is trying to cook up drama, oh I give her drama all right. I break her heart and make her cry.

Jake

Why do women feel that it's somehow acceptable to do this stuff? 'Oh well, we're just girls, that's how we are. So you have to put up with it...'

BULL****!

If a guy says he wants to do something guy-like, like fishing or watching sports, just watch the women start to whine and bust his balls.

But princesses think they're the center of the universe, and if their guy's attention isn't on *them*, why - the evil sonofa***** is so going to pay for that.

Not insane? Are you kidding? Would you put up with a man who acted like that?

Ladies - get a grip. If you want drama, go find acting classes. But get off our case just because sometimes we want peace in the house instead of insane fighting and other crap like that.

Fact is, drama queens are ****ed-up *losers*. Some chicks are steady as a rock. They get their highs, clean, from the fun stuff, with no emotional fall out.

You can find one if you want to. Don't waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't understand that, or thinks her precious feelings are so important that she feels totally justified about trying to screw your life up with her childish girly BS.

[Wyldfire]

Wildthang...in order to avoid that behavior you should focus on women who are able to communicate with men on more of a man's level. The majority of women just can't do that. Men either learn to work around that NORMAL (for women, not for men) girly girl behavior or they find themselves a girl they can genuinely relate to and hang on to her.

You just can't expect to turn women into men that look like women...it's not realistic. No, you don't have to stay with someone that does something that drives you batty, but you also can't change women to suit your idea of what she is supposed to be anymore than women can do that to men.

[Gipper]

Hey Wyldfire! You need to take off whatever you're wearing that has a bullseye painted on it! Somebody's gunnin' for ya sweetheart!

Gipper

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Gipper:
Hey Wyldfire! You need to take off whatever you're wearing that has a bullseye painted on it! Somebody's gunnin' for ya sweetheart!

Gipper

Really??? I hadn't even noticed! http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/wink.gif

[BigBill]

Lol

yeah Wyldfire, its getting so bad not even Take No Dirt is rushing to your defense! http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

[Gipper]

Originally posted by BigBill:
Lol

yeah Wyldfire, its getting so bad not even Take No Dirt is rushing to your defense! http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Yeah, where is TND? He's been conspicuously absent. Usually, he's a postin' fool!

Gipper

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by BigBill:
Lol

yeah Wyldfire, its getting so bad not even Take No Dirt is rushing to your defense! http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

How am I "getting bad"? I'm simply posting information that will help explain the behavior of women better to those who wish to understand it more. Nowhere am I telling anyone to change or that they have to patronize women. Yet it seems that a couple of you guys are hell bent on trying to twist what I am posting to make it appear that I am saying something entirely different than I actually am.

[lordclem*]

Originally posted by Wyldfire:
Wildthang...in order to avoid that behavior you should focus on women who are able to communicate with men on more of a man's level. The majority of women just can't do that. Men either learn to work around that NORMAL (for women, not for men) girly girl behavior or they find themselves a girl they can genuinely relate to and hang on to her.

You just can't expect to turn women into men that look like women...it's not realistic. No, you don't have to stay with someone that does something that drives you batty, but you also can't change women to suit your idea of what she is supposed to be anymore than women can do that to men.

so we should put up with this b/s and just say 'thats just the way it is'.wyldfire why do i feel that somehow you are trying to tell ok that this is ok and should live with it?maybe cause i am the devil?
if a man does some hoes sh!t in the same vain he would be shot down and most women would think a man as weak,stupid,ect

men and women are equal,so i was faced with the question you gave as example.i would look at her..then say it is not the dress at all your totaly fat, then 'finsh her'(mortal kombat fans)by says 'thats why she needs so much make up'.........stop pull a face like i now see her in a different light....hold my mouth say i have to toilet.....and she would never see me again

i would not do that IF she was someone i REALLY wanted to have a **** bubby fling with (after i **** her the first time the only time she would see me is when we are ****ing saying hoes sh!t like that).there would really have a strong sexual connection with.after that question no longer LTR with her.
yes i am the devil (smile)
i dont seem to think that i need a woman in LTRs,marrige,whatever for some reason.this part of our social programming i duly resent(of course i dont what kids are you mad?if i do i will maybe adopt one 3yrs and up)we are told that we should go thought education,get a good job(hopefully one that PAYS well,dont matter if you would be infintely happier owning a comic shop)then you get married,have kids and die.changes are if you miss out some of these your labeled a 'loser'. why dont you get married tony??...are you gay tony?....tony if you love me marry me are thats it. how may people get married because its THE RIGHT THING TO DO?
where does married come from? religion! most people dont belive in any god and yet they get married
BACK ON TRACK
yes i really would think very little of a woman who plays these HOE games.
personaly a lot depends on this (well not that much)have you ever meet a woman who does not 'need drama' ? i sure hope they exist...wait i meet some about 5 in total!

oh where do you think women learn this stuff??
hit me back
lordclem

[Wyldfire]

Clem...relax. I'm not saying that you (or anyone else) has to put up with BS or personality traits in a woman that you aren't comfortable dealing with. That has never been what I've been saying.

The point I am trying to make to Wildthang is that men can no more expect women to change to suit what he wants than they can expect him to change to suit what they want. Things don't work that way and the sooner a person figures that out the better, because it saves them an awful lot of heartache.

Likewise, you can't force someone to be able to communicate in the same way you do. This conversation is a perfect example. I KNOW that I am not telling anyone they have to accept behavior they don't want to deal with, but some of the men here are convinced that's what I am saying. Lord knows I am trying to be as clear as I possibly can to get my point across, but some people are just not understanding me. Those guys most likely are feeling the same way about what they are trying to get across to me. It's not anyone's fault, it's just the way things are sometimes.

[lordclem*]

mmmmmm we cool well till you read that other post
the devil i tell you ...the devil

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by lordclem*:
mmmmmm we cool well till you read that other post
the devil i tell you ...the devil

Already read it...chose not to respond. It wasn't "whining", I was genuinely pissed. That situation has been resolved, by the way.

[Don the Legend]

From "The Art of Seduction", by Robert Greene.

The Drama Queen

There are people who cannot do without some constant drama in their lives--it is their way of deflecting boredom. The greatest mistake you can make in seducing these Drama Queens is to come offering stability and security. That will only make them run for the hills. Most often, Drama Queens(and there are plenty of men in this category) enjoy playing the victim. They want something to complain about, they want pain. Pain is a source of pleasure for them. With this type, you have to be willing and able to give them the mental rough treatment they desire. That is the only way to seduce them in a deep manner. The moment you turn too nice, they will find some reason to quarrel or get rid of you.

You recognize Drama Queens by the number of people who have hurt them, the tradegies and traumas that have befallen them. At the extreme, they can be hopelessly selfish and anti-seductive, but most of them are relatively harmless and will make fine victims if you can live with the sturm und drang. If for some reason you want something long term with this type, you will constantly have to inject drama into your relationship. For some this can be an exciting challenge and a source for constantly renewing the relationship. Generally, however, you should see an involvement with a Drama Queen as something fleeting and a way to bring a little drama into your own life.

Hope this helps!

Legend

[Gipper]

"The Art of Seduction", by Robert Greene.

Hey Don! I was thinking about picking this book up. Is it worth it?

Gipper

[This message has been edited by Gipper (edited 11-21-2001).]

[Don the Legend]

Originally posted by Gipper:
"The Art of Seduction", by Robert Greene.

Hey Don! I was thinking about picking this book up. Is it worth it?

Gipper

[This message has been edited by Gipper (edited 11-21-2001).]

Hey Gip,

It's good. There is some redundancy with this site and the book. But it is very interesting. I like it as much as his other book, "48 Laws of Power", which I highly recommend for every DJ.

Here is a link to read a little bio on the book: http://shop.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=684JSJAML6&mscssid=A0F3KRJF8C9B9G0KVLS4J214QGDN16KD&isbn=0670891924

If I don't talk to you before tomorrow, have a great Thanksgiving! http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/smile.gif

Take Care,

Legend

[Gipper]

Originally posted by Don the Legend:
Hey Gip,

It's good. There is some redundancy with this site and the book. But it is very interesting. I like it as much as his other book, "48 Laws of Power", which I highly recommend for every DJ.

Here is a link to read a little bio on the book: http://shop.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/ isbnInquiry.asp?userid=684JSJAML6&mscssid=A0F3KRJF8C9B9G0KVLS4J214QGDN16KD&isbn=0670891924 (http://shop.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=684JSJAML6&mscssid=A0F3KRJF8C9B9G0KVLS4J214QGDN16KD&isbn=0670891924)

If I don't talk to you before tomorrow, have a great Thanksgiving! http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/smile.gif

Take Care,

Legend


Thanks Don. I have "48 Laws of Power" and loved it.

And Happy Thanksgiving to you! And to all my DJ amigos!

Gipper

[SoSuave.com]

To The Archive.

[Heavyweight]

Dudes-
Chill out on Wyldfire - she's just trying to help. And she hit it right on the head: in this discussion, you guys are playing the role of chicks and she's the man. She's being completely logical and consistent: she agreed with you all that a lot of women are drama queens and gave you suggestions for how to deal with them. Then you guys flame her and tell her to somehow change how all women act. Guess what? I don't think she can do that and she's trying to help in the best way she can.