Okay, this is kind of a noob question which belongs in the general forum but I'd like a response from the mature men, not from the kids over there...

Met a girl in the club but it was almost closing time when I approached her. Started dancing with her and 1 minute later her girlfriend wants to go home (I guess I got ****blocked lol). Quickly asked her phone number and have been texting with her for the next three days.

Yesterday, I figured I should stop the text conversations right away and set up a date soon... Having entire conversations and getting to know each other should be done in real life, not through texting. So I told her yesterday that I would give her a call soon to go and do something together. She responded quite enthusiastic and I'm sure she's anticipating my call. In the meantime, I'm not gonna text her anymore... I'm gonna give her the gift of missing me

Now I'm kinda unsure how to set up the meet. It's often emphasized here that you basically should ask her to come along on something you had planned for yourself already. Well, I don't think this should be taken too literally, it's more about the general atmosphere surrounding the way you two set up the meet. It should be 'non official' and casual, there shouldn't be any big expectations involved, like the meet is something special.

In this regard, I think the number of days between the setup and the actual meet is important. The further you plan it ahead, the more "official" it's gonna feel. It should be more like a last minute thing ("Hey, I'm going to this or that tomorrow, wanna join me?"). However, the problem with last minute setups, is that she might not be able to make it, already having other plans and not being able to fit the meet into her schedule. If you plan it a little more in advance, there's a bigger chance she'll be able to fit the meet into her schedule.

So...I figure there should be some middle ground. Planning a week in advance makes the whole meetup feel way too official but planning one day in advance, you risk her not being able to make it. So planning 2 or 3 days ahead should be best? How do you guys go about setting up your "dates"?


Also, I want to avoid the kind of conversation where we go like:

Me: "Can you make this Saturday?"
Her: "Uhmm no, but I'm free on Sunday"
Me: "Damn, I have to work on Sunday. What about Monday?"

Etc. etc. It will create an atmosphere like this meetup is so important...


Maybe I'm taking "the rules of the game" too seriously and I shouldn't care about all this sh!t? I've been reading this thread lately http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=29081 and find myself being a bit indecisive about following all the DJ rules now... I feel I'm somewhere in the middle between being an AFC who needs the rules as a crutch and a DJ who can rely on his own judgment instead of having to follow all the rules.


Your opinions, gentlemen?

For dates I tend to make it casual. What I do is say, "Hey let's hang out soon and do something fun. I am open on Monday, Thursday and Saturday, about evening-ish. What days are good for you?" If Monday is last minute and you are both free, it works. What is nice about this is that you give her days and she picks.

I've also set up a casual date a week later largely because I was just darn busy that week, and the days she had open didn't coincide with mine. The date was fine.