Who "enjoys" approaching women?

[attract_this]

Hey... lol.. now when I look at this post the first thing I think is AFC.

ok.. the thing I think is the most fun, is going out on a friday night, or saturday night and just finding a hot girl I can go test myself on. My state of mind is, I wanna see if this chick can play the game as well as she looks. You are looking at approaching women totally wrong! You are looking at it in the sense of, I have a chance to get denied, I'm not sure if i wanna do this, look now i have butterflys in my stomach. Holy Sh!t, dude, seriously, the best thing about meeting chicks you dont know, is if you really do get rejected, the chance you're gonna see her is like none.

Take my advice, its some o' the best http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/wink.gif
tj

toddpfrem@hotmail.com
*treat women like angels because around them you're always in heaven

[TheTrimReaper]

I'm addressing Bashfuls post on a 2 woman approach. Friday Night, I successfully accomplished this with a pre-approach. I was talking with a friend, and spotted two hotties at the bar. When the one I wanted looked in my direction, I gave her the biggest grin. And I didn't look away. I kept looking until she blushed and then told her friend. Her friend glanced and did the,"Oh my God."

Boy, was I really surprised.(sarcasm) Girls love to be noticed, and there's nothing that breaks down their defenses like a big, honest, charming smile. Looking one extended time works well because it shows confidence. However, when you do this, the approach should be soon, since you don't want to come across as a stalker.

After talking to her, which was pretty easy because I had already shown a few positive traits with my actions, she said she thought I was a weirdo when she saw me look over. *Neg Hit* So I neg hit her and put her right back in her place. Both she and I knew it was a turn on.

In regards to the original post:
Approaching girls isn't sh*t. Compare it to the emotional pains you will experience in this life(losing loved ones, getting fired, losing your pet, having your stock turn into a junk bond), and you can see just how trivial the approach is.

If you start to feel nervous, anxious, or scared, that's your problem. You have to learn to control your emotions. That's the only hard part. We deal with women because we have to. Keep that in mind.

You don't need to love it or hate it. You just need to do it.

[the graphics guy]

You don't need to love it or hate it. You just need to do it.

Bingo, Reaper!

Actually I love to meet chycks, especially when i don't "need" to. And that's the whole point! It's just a big hoot, and those who find it the most painful need to lighten up a whole lot until they view it as a game, playtime, amusement.

The best way to do this is to not give a sh1t, you don't have a care in the world, and it is YOU who are giving theis friggin' chyck the opportunity to have some fun, and it's HER tough luck if she's too foolish to avail herself of it.
Kudos to Pook, too. Good attitude, dude. That's what wins ball games and wars, as well as pu$$y.

------------------
Bro's rule, grrrls drool!

[JTRIZO]

Want to enjoy it?

12 Pack of Budwieser(Or your fav. brand),is the answer.

Otherwise,It is HELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

JTRIZO

[cyclonus]

I think Bashful quit posting a long time ago. Had I been a mod, I'd have tried to get him banned.

[koolbreeze]

You have to look at it like.. "all she can say is NO....be glad is she does because you are one step closer to that yes!..just keep plugging away and after a while it will be just natural..remember your 5 friends are who, what, where, when and why....good luck from the breeze.

[koolbreeze]

Good one Pook,,,I never looked at myself as the prize...good stuff bro.

Originally posted by Pook:
I love approaching women! Here's a way to look at it:

We are all in constant self-improvement. Our past selves are always less evolved then our present form. Let us see the difference between Pook Version 1.2 and Pook Version 2.9.

Pook Version 1.2

In this version of Pook, we find that he is shedding off that Nice Guy straitjacket. He knows he ought to approach. Unfortunately, he sees it as a chore.

So enters a beautiful chick. Poor Pook feels himself freezing up. He bites the bullet and goes talk to her.

"Hi."
"Hello."
"So... what you up to?"
"Just grocery shopping. Ran out of food, got to get some more, you know?" (Pause) "You?"
"Oh... The same. Well, cya."

No, you are quite correct, this was pathetic. At the time, my mind did not think this. Rather, I was thinking, "You have accomplished your mission. You have approached the chick. Well done."

With that type of thinking, no wonder I wasn't having any fun!

Pook Version 2.9

Now let us see how a more recent version of Pook.

Enters a beautiful woman in the bread section of the store.
I approach. "So, you like bread too!"
She laughs. "Yes."
"Here, try this one!" I toss some bread at her.
"Potato bread!? No, I don't think so." Laughing, she puts it back.
Now I say, "Have you seen (X) product? Don't just stand there! Come on!" I take her hand and we go across the store.

Now, this Pook is crazy. She gives him her number. What is the difference between 2.9's mind and 1.2's mind?

The difference is,

1) The earlier Pook saw the approach as the WOMAN to be the prize to be won. The later Pook saw HIMSELF as the prize. The early Pook saw the approach as a mission, the later pook saw the approach as an opportunity for fun.

2) The earlier Pook tries to make things fun for the woman and fails. The later Pook doesn't care and focuses on HIS feelings, in other words, he has fun himself.

The early Pook thinks, "Oh my. I hope I am doing things correctly. Is she smiling? Is she keeping eye contact? Is SHE having fun?"

The later Pook thinks, "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"

Have fun! To hell with formulas and rules. As long as I have fun, what does it matter if she rejects me or not? I think, "Well, she doesn't know how to have fun!"

Focus on having fun then on avoiding the pain of rejection or loneliness. The carrot is more attractive to her then the stick.

Quit taking this so seriously! These are GIRLS. GIRLS! What are they going to do to you? Beat you up?

You like having fun, right? Then do it! Be playful. Be crazy. Do what makes YOU have fun, and see if she'll go along for the ride.

No more nervousness! No more shyness! Those originate in you worrying how you will be percieved. Rather, everything is in how you percieve yourself.

This makes the difference.

[Man Of Adventure]

Originally posted by bclarke675:
In my experience, it seems to me that the only guys that really enjoy approaching women are the guys who are so confident that they usually succeed in getting a woman interested in them. I have a friend who's married now, but before he was married, and even sometimes now, he was/is a master at approaching women and getting them interested quickly. I was at a bar with him last week, and he got the hottest woman in the place to offer her number unsolicited, as well as put his face in her tits!

He's not handsome or tall. He does have a great deal of charisma and personality, as well as enough confidence for 10 men. He was this way before he married his wife, and he'll be this way the rest of his life. He approaches every woman as a game (think Nintendo) to be played and defeated. This makes it fun, and he's practiced so long and well that he can beat the game (the woman) 90% of the time. He can even succeed in scoring women for his friends if he chooses to. This gal last week ended up going home with the guitar player in his band (no, they weren't playing, just hanging at the bar on karaoke night) because he gave the guitar player her number that she gave him!

Anyway, it appears that unless you can find a way to make it a game, you're not going to enjoy approaching women. Period!!!

Hahaha, cool man. If I had that much persistance in girls as I do Roleplaying games. Itll be about 60 or so hours before I beat her (if shes REAL difficult) http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------
Stop pursuing, and make them be on the chase.-MOA

[T Dog]

I didn't read everyones post so I don't know if anyone has my same thoughts on this.
----

was bored. read through the posts. Damn, I missed some real good shyte! I should have started reading this one a long time ago!
-----

Only resently started enjoying going up to and talking with women. I really enjoy talking to people in general, but until recently it really DID feel like a chore, as many of you have said.

Approaching women in genereal was no problem, unless I was really attracted to them. Then I USED to trip up and convert to a AFC.

What changed in me fianlly realizing that only 5% of the girls I may met have some real quality or substance and not just looks.

So I would she a hot girl I was attarcted to checking me out and then I would lose my nerve and get worked out inside. Really I was putting them on a pedastol before I even knew anything about them. Once I fianlly approached them I'd realize taht they were dumb as a sack of blonde hair, or a *****, or whatever. But just not worth the pedastole I had orginally put them on.

Then after realizing how dumb that was and how many oppertunities that I was missind out on I vowed never again to worry if she is too hot or not. I never want to miss a chance with a girl because I was too AFC not to approach them.

After that it was no longer a chore and the weigh was lifted.

Now when I see a hot chick, I'm more worried about coming up with a good excuse to talk than be scared to talk to her.

T Dog

[This message has been edited by T Dog (edited 03-15-2002).]

[Wolf in sheep's clothing]

Originally posted by cyclonus:
I think Bashful quit posting a long time ago. Had I been a mod, I'd have tried to get him banned.

You cant have good without evil, and you cant have DJs without AFCs. I think people like bashful are good for this board as they remind us of our past AFC-ways and teach us what we really should be striving for. I like learning from other people's stupidity http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/cool.gif


------------------
"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'" - Homer J. Simpson

[scoped]

How can you pick or approach women if you don't enjoy it?????????????

I read on another post that the average crash and burn rate is 80% - 90%.
Sure maybe you actually only pick up 1 in 10 girls, but if your fun and friendly your very rarely going to get a girl completely shoot you down
This absolutely amazes me.
if you are friendly and positive most girls are going to be friendly back.

From there it's all about judging the situation, use the knowledge you have and be aware of what's happening.

If it's not working out move on.
It's all about timing, judging the sitiuation and having fun...


If you are not enjoying it and it's not fun why bother in the first place.

I am a stong believer in things such as vibe or Aura, give off a postive vibe and girls will be attracted to you.

But positive in the first place!!!

With this attitude i have found i don't need to go up to girls and try and make it enjoyable, i am having fun in the first place.
The more fun and positive you are feeling the more you want to be sociable, you just can't help it.

[aznbreakerjrey]

I have just started recently to approach girls. In fact, I started yesterday. I was planning on talking to a couple of random girls on the street with my buds, and we miss out on some good opportunities. So then I just get pissed off, and just think, "Screw this. I've got to get some balls, I'm sick of this sh*t." So next chance I get, I get this cute chick and talk to her. Bang, mission accomplished. According to the Pook version updates, I'm AznBreakerJRey 1.1. Eventually I'll get up there.

------------------
You live, you learn? No, it is only if you learn the ways of the DJ when you can truly live...

[Kodak]

bump

[Struggling]

Shhhiiiiiiitttttttttt

i hate approaching girls i dont know that im attracted too. Because the majurity of girls are stuck up and have no sympathy.

I hate it.

[h2o]

bump...i love it

[comic_relief]

I enjoy approaching . . .

[syncmaster]

Originally posted by Interested2
Who actually "enjoys" approaching some girl you've never met before and hitting on her? I ask this becuase so far I haven't. Far from it. So far I would have to say I really "dislike" doing it. I still do talk to them though. I wonder if my success rates would be better if I enjoyed it? How do you enjoy it?

I think this is an important question for guys here on this board as you read a lot of posts where guys really seem to be "forcing" themselves to do something they really do not like doing.

So for those who do enjoy it - please tell us how we can enjoy it too

thanks

You don't enjoy it because its work. It's work because you're uncomfortable. It will get easier and you will start to enjoy messing w/ their heads.

[lebRambo]

i enjoy approaching women in that it excites me because of the possibility of rejection (not because rejection is painful but because of the uncertainty of whether or not i'm going to be rejected).

Too much in life is determined. Nobody takes chances anymore! Everyone is so worried about this and about that and always wanting to control every little f*cking thing that everyone is too afraid to try something new once in a while. Take a f*cking chance! Life is NOT the sum total of the breaths you take or the number of times your heart beats.

[Ricky]

Funny this is an old thread but interesting.

In any event, I enjoy approaching but it is a very momentum based thing.

For example if my first few approaches don't go well, then I don't always keep at it.

But if I have a night where the first few go well, I'm on a role and cant' be stopped (unless I stay with one particular girl until completion that night!)

[DiMallio]

theres always that small element of nervousness when approaching someone but its no big deal IMO.... its more excitement than dread coz u know she will probably be all yours soon enough....

[ego]

Seriously?

I I'M LOVIN IT!

Just as much as talking and interacting with anyone. Guys, girls, old people, young people - black, yellow, white people doesn't matter. As long as they make me laugh and feel good about myself and i'm able to do the same thing with them it's a win - win.

And yeah, sometimes it all goes wrong and u come off as an idiot, probably 1/10. Well, 90% is still enough for me. There's always assholes, don't forget that :-)

Why THE HELL SHOULD YOU approach a girl if you're not enjoying it? You guys gotta start working on the attitude. And it's not confidence, it's positive mindset. Once you got that you're able to start to develop your confidence.

Ciao!

[TheOne&Only007]

I love approaching women, comes naturally, enjoy the buzz if nothing else!

[Ricky]

I'm in an LTR now but I still love to approach. Now it is tough at first and in fact it takes momentum. As many you have said you have to get in the social state first.

Pooks posts are brilliants. Seems like all the wisdom of this site has been here since 2000-2005 or so.

Nothing real new has come. It just requires practice like everything else.

[Heart Break Kid]

I enjoy all parts of the interaction just as much as what comes after it! :)
It wasn't always that way though...

[CalmCoolAndConfident]

In my expiriance making it all a big game to yourself helps a lot, if you dont really care one way or the other your a lot smoother.

[Daydream Engineer]

I love it! Whatever happens, happens and i love giving the an experience

[ismael]

What comes to mind when i decide to aproach....."I wonder what i can get away with this time. hehehe this is going to be a blast for me..." so much so that i get people nearby off guard with my apreach and have a group going ....

all i have to say is think of it as a game...life is a roller coaster and you get to pick most of the ups and boring parts the question is which do you choose...

[TheEnergizer]

yeah are you kidding me i love it, i love the fun in it, i love the challenge, i love the spontaneity(different experience everytime), i love where you never know if youll be successful or not, i love they way you learn something every single time you approach, and most of all of course, i love the sweet rewards of success. whats not to love? i swear, i actually didnt know there was anyone that DIDNT enjoy approaching chicks, i thought you would have to be shy or unsocial or something.

jesus christ seriously, stop *****ing and just have fun. getting there is just as fun as the reward. dont just do it for the reward.

if your worried about the outcome, or scared of rejection, well, learn to enjoy it. i love being rejected because you learn something (not that i try) and, i dunno, i just love challenge for some reason, and how girls can be unexpected and even wierd at times, haha i love it. it just pushes me harder.

lots of other good points on why approaching is so enjoyable on this page...

this thread is old though...

[search1ng]

didn't read all the pages but in response to OP, i enjoy approaching women i don't know. Doesn't mean I'm good at it or it'll go down well but it gets the heart pumping (well does in my case - especially for beautiful women, or girls you're interested in) and dancing around with your wit is always enjoyable.

[Kevin Feng]

It's all about balance in my personal opinion.

I've tried, both, going out JUST to pick up and also going out to hang out and running game as a side thing. Obviously I enjoy the latter part more.

You can STILL run game even if it isn't the most enjoyable thing. In terms of fun, if you're having success, it's fun, if you're not, it's going to hurt.

It depends on how productive you want to be. If you must have a girl that night, then obviously you need to open more sets and go for the kill.

It's like being a salesman, any good salesman knows that if he closes 1 in 20 deals, he's a winner.

Eventually, when you become better at pick up you can go out and just open sets as a "side" thing and you'll have enough women to keep you satisfied.

When I first started training with Asian Playboy, I would go out a lot and not get the results, but after a while and some learning I got the swing the thingis and now it comes natural.

-Kevin

[initiatorhater06]

I hate and despise with a huge passion on how us guys always have to initiate everything with girls, it's like the girl is just along for the ride, like she is the passenger in a limo and I'm the driver. In my opinion, it is so much easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend. I'm not trying to sound mopey or whiny, i'm just stating the facts the way i see it.

[Espi]

Who actually "enjoys" approaching some girl you've never met before and hitting on her? I ask this becuase so far I haven't. Far from it. So far I would have to say I really "dislike" doing it. I still do talk to them though. I wonder if my success rates would be better if I enjoyed it? How do you enjoy it?

I think this is an important question for guys here on this board as you read a lot of posts where guys really seem to be "forcing" themselves to do something they really do not like doing.

So for those who do enjoy it - please tell us how we can enjoy it too

thanks

Like most things in life, I don't enjoy the task...but I do enjoy the reward...so I do what it takes because the reward makes it worth tasking.

I don't like to get up early each morning, but I know that I can make some money if I get to work on time and get on the phone and make some sales.

If most guys enjoyed approaching strange women, I'd imagine that most guys would be getting laid a lot more often.

[Espi]

I hate and despise with a huge passion on how us guys always have to initiate everything with girls, it's like the girl is just along for the ride, like she is the passenger in a limo and I'm the driver. In my opinion, it is so much easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend. I'm not trying to sound mopey or whiny, i'm just stating the facts the way i see it.

You're completely right...

Still you should swallow your pride and treat her with respect in the beginning and treat her with respect at the end. Tell her she's beautiful and you feel lucky to be with her.

Be gracious. Be humorous. Be a gentleman.

It'll get you far with the women.

[initiatorhater06]

yeah, I don't like the tast of taking the initiative but I do enjoy the reward, I think girls have it easier because all they have to do is welcome or reject our advances, sure girls may have the downfall of getting approaching by random creepers all the time, like they have to put up with a lot of them, but still, they can easily just shoe them away, the right guy they want is bound to approach them. We guys can still keep taking the initiative and doing the pursuit but there is no guarantee we will meet the right girl. Girls have more potential to get a boyfriend than us guys have potential to get a girlfriend.

[Cry For Love]

the advantage of girls is also their disadvantage. a guy can supercharge his chances of getting good girls a lot more, by increasing time and effort spent on it. girls' options are a lot more limited

[initiatorhater06]

the advantage of girls is also their disadvantage. a guy can supercharge his chances of getting good girls a lot more, by increasing time and effort spent on it. girls' options are a lot more limited
Very true that us guys can increase our chances with time and effort, but we have to do it the right way, the right technique, the right social skills and conversation skills, charm and confidence. Girls however, if they are just hot or pretty, cute, they are girlfriend material right away.

[Plinco]

I absolutely enjoy approaching women!

[PairPlusRoyalFlush]

Who actually "enjoys" approaching some girl you've never met before and hitting on her? I ask this becuase so far I haven't. Far from it. So far I would have to say I really "dislike" doing it. I still do talk to them though. I wonder if my success rates would be better if I enjoyed it? How do you enjoy it?

I think this is an important question for guys here on this board as you read a lot of posts where guys really seem to be "forcing" themselves to do something they really do not like doing.

So for those who do enjoy it - please tell us how we can enjoy it too

thanks

After the first attempt in a club, I tend to enjoy it. Otherwise, it can be painful.

[joe henny]

I love it. I love meeting new people. You just need to shake your fear of rejection that's why you dislike it.

[Borknagar]

I hate it with a passion, cause I have hardly any experience in even having female friends let alone girlfriends.

I'm afraid she'll reject me and embarass me, or I'll screw up.
Haha *****!

I laugh at rejection ! which usually only happens in the case of them having a boyfriend, get out there ya damn ***** man up and get some!!!

Oh wait, this is me! haha

[Borknagar]

I hate it with a passion, cause I have hardly any experience in even having female friends let alone girlfriends.

I'm afraid she'll reject me and embarass me, or I'll screw up.

Puzzzy

I love it now :)
Actually I never approach or hit on women. They approach me! And I love it. Back when I made this post 10 years ago I was one fugly mofo, not no more!

[Crissco]

I love the approach the gaming and the end result!!!

[metoo]

I quit such things with the advent of the Net in the 3rd world, over 10 years ago. Now I "get to know" many women online, call them, write letters, etc, and get her to spend her own money to come here, so of COURSE I (by then) am eager to meet her at the airport! :-) On her side of things, she is eager to "hook" me as a way to stay in the US, so she is on her best behavior, until she gets her US citizenship (ie, 5 years). That is plenty for me, since so many more can be had, so easily/cheaply where she came from.

[Donno1974]

I have got my mate Mobile Phone number.(Disconnected) How can I find my mate address using that phone number?

Now i am seriously i am sorry for not ideal terminology I'm crafting, but wish things pretty comprehensible * I cannot chat greater although reaaly need the support!
If Now i'm drastically wrong while using community forum component I had kindly ask moderators in order to transport the place right just one