The Hardest Part of the Game to Accept

[Reyaj]

You can put in a lot of time and effort to pursue a girl.... raise her IL.... and seem to be on the right track.... They can flake or lose IL in an instant!

[Boilermaker]

Not at all hard to accept.

The contemporary understanding of this, especially in this forum, is that you should not care about flakes or "failures" because you shall strive to be that fantabulous man you know you can be. Ultimately, you must either be too cool or too happy to give a fvck.

Then individuals from the hordes shall become insignificant because their true values will be coldly judged with a rational and content mindset.

In short, this is accepting the reality and taking it as it is.

Caring about a woman who you don't even know and feeling bad about her flakiness, therefore, is pure folly and nothing more.

[runner83]

Not at all hard to accept.

The contemporary understanding of this, especially in this forum, is that you should not care about flakes or "failures" because you shall strive to be that fantabulous man you know you can be. Ultimately, you must either be too cool or too happy to give a fvck.

Then individuals from the hordes shall become insignificant because their true values will be coldly judged with a rational and content mindset.

In short, this is accepting the reality and taking it as it is.

Caring about a woman who you don't even know and feeling bad about her flakiness, therefore, is pure folly and nothing more.

Agreed.

Girls will flake at various times for various reasons.

If you can't accept that it's her loss and move on to the next hot girl, you will get too emotionally attached, rather than playing the numbers game.

[Reyaj]

Not at all hard to accept.

The contemporary understanding of this, especially in this forum, is that you should not care about flakes or "failures" because you shall strive to be that fantabulous man you know you can be. Ultimately, you must either be too cool or too happy to give a fvck.

Then individuals from the hordes shall become insignificant because their true values will be coldly judged with a rational and content mindset.

In short, this is accepting the reality and taking it as it is.

Caring about a woman who you don't even know and feeling bad about her flakiness, therefore, is pure folly and nothing more.

Yes this is the underlying theory this forum preaches... I think it is the right approach as well. However when you do put some effort in, and it seems like you are making progress only to have it crash and burn so rapidly does get a bit discouraging. I am just stating that this reality of the game is difficult.. especially if you are human. The worst is when you can't explain what happend.... I like to know everything

[Reyaj]

Agreed.

Girls will flake always at various time for various reasons.

If you can't accept that it's her loss and move on to the next hot girl, you will get too emotionally attached, rather than playing the numbers.


I agree completely. But sometimes you may actually "like the girl" you are pursuing.... Do you have to keep all your emotions guarded at all times??

[Boilermaker]

I know that you read Kailex's post. Read it again. Savor it.

What are your goals in life? STOP putting so much effort in cold approaching women... It puts you in a vulnerable position FROM THE START.

What do you want to do with your life? You must be focusing on your goals, your views, your life and your fun.

Seems like having made all this effort isn't making you a happier person. Try to be that happier person and don't fvcking worry about women so much.

The more I read on this forum, and the more I chew over what I read; I realize that I am enjoying my life much more ...! Every little thing is making me happy.

Let go of your insecurities .. Practice staying single for 6 months and improving YOUR LIFE and you'll see you'll be getting those b!tches left and right.

Just change your focus, man,

It's level UP time.

[Falcon25]

I agree. A piece of you kinda dies everytime something crashes and burns too. I can't explain it. It's sad but not fatalistic. Disappointing, at the same time it can make you humble. It's okay to feel that way towards a woman. When you want something to work, but it fails, it always leaves a scar in your heart. You just can't let it jade you. It's unfair to the next one. But yeah, I'm glad you brought this up. After years of dating and screwing many women, I always remember the ones I tried hardest on that never worked. It's sad, but that is life. If life was simple, you and I wouldn't be writing on these boards right now.

There are times when I watch a movie, go to a certain place, I remember those girls in the past. It's a part of the reason I don't have a facebook account. I don't like seeing them right now, I wan't to remember them from ten years ago (I live in small city) that is why I'm glad I'm moving too. There were a bunch that I fuvked up on, or they lost interest in me just when I was doing all the right things. Someof them I treated like crap and took them for granted and rightfully they left me. Some that I moved mountains for, and they left me. Some that moved mountains for me, and I left them. It sucks. Just try to move on.

[Colossus]

The ones you love the most always seem to get away, and the ones who love you the most can never seem to win your heart. It is sad, but that seems to be the irony of life. Maybe there is some middle ground, or once in a blue moon probability will fall in your favor and you'll find one you share equal feelings with. I've yet to reach either one though.

[Zarky]

The contemporary understanding of this, especially in this forum, is that you should not care about flakes or "failures" because you shall strive to be that fantabulous man you know you can be.

It's a little strange to tell guys what emotions they "should" feel. That's like telling them when they "should" be hungry or when they "should" have to use the bathroom.

To the OP, flaking is hurtful. I see 1000 other posts here b/tching about flaking too. I've been flaked on, and it sucks.

I think a lot of guys here want to be completely insulated from bad feelings in the dating game--like they have 100% control over everything. That's not how dating works, and it's only possible if you're an inhuman robot. Other people will do stuff that makes you feel sh/tty, that's part of the game.

[Slickster]

Do you have to keep all your emotions guarded at all times??

Abso-fvcking-lutely!!!

It doesn't matter how great or strong your relationship seems. Always, always, always protect your yourself.

Sure it seems unfair or ironic the way things happen sometimes. We as men have to be stronger. Women seem to be able to shrug off a man's flakiness without problem. Learn from that and those little scars will get smaller and smaller.

Eventually you will meet a woman who is "ready" to be real. Will you?

[Boilermaker]

. I've been flaked on, and it sucks.


Haha, yeah I can see why you are sensitive about the issue.

One can feel however he pleases, but then again, not everyone seeks shelter in the random musings of fellow men in shady internet corners ...

OP was whining about an insignificant detail NOT realizing his OWN, INTRINSIC value ...

Let's not do this again, let's whine no more .. Please guys

[Boilermaker]

Abso-fvcking-lutely!!!

It doesn't matter how great or strong your relationship seems. Always, always, always protect your yourself.

Sure it seems unfair or ironic the way things happen sometimes. We as men have to be stronger. Women seem to be able to shrug off a man's flakiness without problem. Learn from that and those little scars will get smaller and smaller.

Eventually you will meet a woman who is "ready" to be real. Will you?

^^

Gold.

Read again.

[Zunder]

What you should do and what you feel are not always in synegry.

When you get flaked on or her IL wanes - of course it is going to hurt. Some guys talk on these boards abut how easy it is for them to just blow them out of your head and heart - but for me is is not that easy.

Damnit - it its a blow to your ego when some chick flakes or loses interest.

What I am saying is until you are one of the lucky guys that can just blow this off outa your mind in a second - well I say it is OK FOR IT TO HURT. Feel the HURT but use the HURT to make yourself even stronger - becasue YOU ARE WORTH IT AND IT IS HER GODMANNED LOSS!!

I know what I am about to say is a cliche - but some of the most common cliches are common because they are gold: THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER.

[sodbuster]

It's been my philosophy since age 17. "If a woman isn't smart enough to know what I AM and what I'm GOING to BE,she isn't smart enough to be the mother of my children" I've kept it-even during the divorce.[she can suffer with her decision for the rest of her life,I'm moving on and having fun and banking my retirement plans]. SO, a flake disqualifies herself...move on,nothing to see here.

[runner83]

Abso-fvcking-lutely!!!

It doesn't matter how great or strong your relationship seems. Always, always, always protect your yourself.

Sure it seems unfair or ironic the way things happen sometimes. We as men have to be stronger. Women seem to be able to shrug off a man's flakiness without problem. Learn from that and those little scars will get smaller and smaller.

Eventually you will meet a woman who is "ready" to be real. Will you?

This is the best.

Stop letting it get to you and "protect your heart"!

No one is perfect at this, and I've made the mistake of getting too emotional in the past as well. But remember this:

Women will gladly branch-swing when it suits them and who can blame them? They are simply searching for the best guy out there, just like we are for the best girl!

Stop all the p8ssing and moaning and focus on self improvement for yourself.

If a woman leaves you and doesn't recognise your good points and potential, find one who does!

[zekko]

Guys come to the pickup community and they hear all this hype the gurus put out. Basically they tell you you can behave and carry yourself in a certain way which will make you irresistable to women ("Attraction is not a choice"). There are guys on this forum who will still maintain this.

But then you get into it and you hear about all the flaking and the low interest girls and IODs. You don't want to act like a chump, but aside from that, it's just a numbers game.

[Jariel]

However when you do put some effort in, and it seems like you are making progress only to have it crash and burn so rapidly does get a bit discouraging. I am just stating that this reality of the game is difficult.. especially if you are human. The worst is when you can't explain what happend.... I like to know everything

I do agree it can be really frustrating, sometimes quite hurtful if you really like a girl, but the lesson here is not to put too much emphasis on her and to treat every approach, date, escalation etc as an experience.

I had a LOT of girls flake out on me last year, going from acting quite obsessive to just plain ignoring me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt and confused by this, but I just moved on and learned from the experience.

After a few flakes I realised one of the things I was doing wrong was letting my guard down when she showed high interest. I'd take all her calls, reply to her texts quickly and even move planned dates forward because that's what she wanted and I saw no reason to pull back. Once she backed off and left me wondering what had gone wrong, I realised I was not being a challenge any more and was giving them their own way too much. My point is, I needed to experience those flakes in order to learn what I was doing wrong. Next time I meet a girl I really like, I won't make that same mistake.

[squirrels]

I don't put "effort" in with women any more.

Your career, your other pursuits...they are "labors". The people you work with along the way...if it is a "labor" to make them want to spend time with you and do things with you, then it's a wasted effort. Instead, look for people who WANT your company and WANT to be your partner in these endeavors.

A woman is the ultimate expression of this concept. Do you really want to come home from one job every day and come home to ANOTHER? That isn't to say that you don't spend TIME with your woman, but it should be a labor of love, something you do because it makes you feel good, not some BS quest to "earn" the love of another person. Life is too short for that.

That's why whenever I hear this drivel about "making it work" or "you have to sacrifice/compromise", I just shake my head.

If she flakes, let her flake. If she needs space, give her space. This is why you always have options, and why women never take "center stage".

It's like fishing, man. You can get all the best equipment, find the perfect spot, bait your line, and play everything right, and the fish may still not bite. Yeah, you might get bummed out a little, and sure, you can curse the fish, but is it really the fish's fault? Maybe it just wasn't hungry. Or maybe there's something you can do a little better. But there really ARE "plenty of fish" out there, as the old saying goes.

Maybe you need to get a couple more lines in the water.

Maybe you need to get some better bait.

And if they aren't biting on any particular day, crack a beer, relax, and enjoy the water...get 'em next time.

[Solomon]

Flaking isn't black and white

You can't always move on and guys who say they aren't affected by this are lying or don't get flaked on(which I highly doubt unless you Brad Pitt Status). The reality is Flaking is disrespectful, and depending on the disrespect you may take it personal or not. When my buddies flake on me, i don't just "ignore" it, I call them out on it. Sometimes I do the same with women but most of the time why bother. The thing is you can't get emotionally invested however even for those most seasoned of gamer this can throw him of when he has a girl with high IL flake out the blue.

The best thing you can do is have a mentality of abundance and know that there more women out there!

My mentally is always, I'll meet another she may not be as hot as this one but eventually I will meet another one just as hot or hotter!

[squirrels]

Flaking isn't black and white

You can't always move on and guys who say they aren't affected by this are lying or don't get flaked on(which I highly doubt unless you Brad Pitt Status). The reality is Flaking is disrespectful, and depending on the disrespect you may take it personal or not. When my buddies flake on me, i don't just "ignore" it, I call them out on it. Sometimes I do the same with women but most of the time why bother. The thing is you can't get emotionally invested however even for those most seasoned of gamer this can throw him of when he has a girl with high IL flake out the blue.

The difference is that a girl isn't one of your "buds". If she flakes, she gets replaced. If there's a commitment...I wouldn't be committed to a girl who pulls that crap. And if she does, I WOULD let her know it's not cool, but I'd consider it partly my fault for not seeing it coming.


The best thing you can do is have a mentality of abundance and know that there more women out there!

My mentally is always, I'll meet another she may not be as hot as this one but eventually I will meet another one just as hot or hotter!

That's the right attitude to have.

I remember maybe like 3-4 years ago I met this girl on MySpace. We met up one night and I went back to her place, but I didn't bang her because I had ridden up with a dude her friend brought back and HE was splitting out. Anyway, long story short, I called her up once or twice and she either flaked on me or gave me some excuse about hanging out. She was one of the finer pieces of ass I had been out with...borderline 9 material, but I went out that night and said, "F**k it, I'm gonna replace THIS girl TONIGHT."

And I did...with a solid 9. She was dressed down and I didn't even realize it when I copped her digits, but when she came up to my house dressed in this cute little skirt, I was like...DAMN.

That was one of those events that was so unreal, I was like, "Holy f**k...have I finally DONE it?? Am I really that much of a MACK that I can do this??" And then I dropped it...like Skywalker trying to pull the X-wing out of the bog, I just dropped it. I could NOT believe that it was that easy, that I had that kind of "power".

It's true what people say...we don't fear failure half as much as we fear the consequences of success. ****, this girl I banged tonight...I'm less worried about never talking to her again than I am worried about what'll happen if she starts catching feelings...whether I really want a "girlfriend"...because it's a time commitment.

Be glad when girls flake. It means you're "off the hook" with regard to responsibility. You don't have to worry about her feelings, what you're going to do with her if she keeps hanging around...she just disqualified herself. Date like five girls at once, so when two flake and you're left with three, you'll be quite relieved. :)

[Jeffst1980]

Most of the time, flaking doesn't even reflect on you as a man. You can pump her buying temperature sky high, be forced to number close, and never hear from her again. It's nothing personal; pretty girls just have a ton of options and are very easily distracted.

If you are cold approaching attractive, young girls, there is going to be a power imbalance. They are valued more by society than us, and there is little we can do to change that. Our best defense is to stack the odds in our favor- either by approaching tons of sets, or by constructing a "net" in the form of social proof.

We are all scientists here- running experiments, analyzing data, making predictions--it sounds silly, but thinking of game as an experiment ultimately allows us to detach from the negative emotions we experience when things go awry. It is in this light that "rejections" or "flakes" are of little significance--they are just part and parcel of the whole pickup experience. You want to protect your ego? Become celibate--that's the only way you won't face rejection. For the rest of us, we'll accept the frustrating aspects of pickup because we know the payoff is pretty sweet--we actually get to CHOSE our partner, rather than the other way around.

Do a survey of the couples that you know: How did they meet? Most of the time, it's because of their social circle. This is how most relationships form; the problem is, it's a very limited pool.

The fact that we dare to venture outside of this pool makes us rare, indeed. It also predisposes us to a variety of risks that AFCs aren't willing to take. So be it; we all know full well that we could relax our standards and SETTLE if we were so inclined, and have chosen not to do so. So, it's not our place to whine; it's our job to find solutions to the problems we have imposed upon ourselves.

Also, anyone that is feeling frustrated because of a lack of prospects should discover the joys of bulk texting--you'd be surprised how effective it is when it comes to setting up quick dates.

[Big O]

Also, anyone that is feeling frustrated because of a lack of prospects should discover the joys of bulk texting--you'd be surprised how effective it is when it comes to setting up quick dates.

I've been very happy with texting. One day last week I woke up and felt like setting up a same-day lunch date or at least a friend meetup.

I texted 9 people in total, including two guys. I ended up going on a lunch first date with a girl I met several months ago but hadn't contacted since. I think it went well.

All of the others replied, but were busy, out of town, etc.

[Poonani Maker]

I've had women be flakey while fvckin. She won't go into the position I'm trying to get her in. You have to literally Force her into doggy, into cowgirl, reverse, spooning. She won't go there on her own. YOU have to lead. A lot of women, if you do nothing, they do nothing. They must be led, like a horse by his reins or a bull by it's nose ring. Now if you've got a man-woman on your hands, aggressive or not submissive, then your positions might just get served up to you on a platter where you don't even have to think about which direction you're gonna take it, she fvcks you instead.

[Boilermaker]

It's true what people say...we don't fear failure half as much as we fear the consequences of success.

[...]
Be glad when girls flake. It means you're "off the hook" with regards to responsibility. You don't have to worry about her feelings, what you're going to do with her if she keeps hanging around...she just disqualified herself. Date like five girls at once, so when two flake and you're left with three, you'll be quite relieved.


squirrels is the hero MM forum needs,

our dark knight.

[Reyaj]

I do agree it can be really frustrating, sometimes quite hurtful if you really like a girl, but the lesson here is not to put too much emphasis on her and to treat every approach, date, escalation etc as an experience.

I had a LOT of girls flake out on me last year, going from acting quite obsessive to just plain ignoring me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt and confused by this, but I just moved on and learned from the experience.

After a few flakes I realised one of the things I was doing wrong was letting my guard down when she showed high interest. I'd take all her calls, reply to her texts quickly and even move planned dates forward because that's what she wanted and I saw no reason to pull back. Once she backed off and left me wondering what had gone wrong, I realised I was not being a challenge any more and was giving them their own way too much. My point is, I needed to experience those flakes in order to learn what I was doing wrong. Next time I meet a girl I really like, I won't make that same mistake.

I think I am guilty of this as well. It's like all signs point to you having them completely... then we AFC ourselves... See the problem is when they start playing games too though..... Then nobody wins... I feel sometimes you have give in some slack to get the poon

[Reyaj]

The difference is that a girl isn't one of your "buds". If she flakes, she gets replaced. If there's a commitment...I wouldn't be committed to a girl who pulls that crap. And if she does, I WOULD let her know it's not cool, but I'd consider it partly my fault for not seeing it coming.



That's the right attitude to have.

I remember maybe like 3-4 years ago I met this girl on MySpace. We met up one night and I went back to her place, but I didn't bang her because I had ridden up with a dude her friend brought back and HE was splitting out. Anyway, long story short, I called her up once or twice and she either flaked on me or gave me some excuse about hanging out. She was one of the finer pieces of ass I had been out with...borderline 9 material, but I went out that night and said, "F**k it, I'm gonna replace THIS girl TONIGHT."

And I did...with a solid 9. She was dressed down and I didn't even realize it when I copped her digits, but when she came up to my house dressed in this cute little skirt, I was like...DAMN.

That was one of those events that was so unreal, I was like, "Holy f**k...have I finally DONE it?? Am I really that much of a MACK that I can do this??" And then I dropped it...like Skywalker trying to pull the X-wing out of the bog, I just dropped it. I could NOT believe that it was that easy, that I had that kind of "power".

It's true what people say...we don't fear failure half as much as we fear the consequences of success. ****, this girl I banged tonight...I'm less worried about never talking to her again than I am worried about what'll happen if she starts catching feelings...whether I really want a "girlfriend"...because it's a time commitment.

Be glad when girls flake. It means you're "off the hook" with regard to responsibility. You don't have to worry about her feelings, what you're going to do with her if she keeps hanging around...she just disqualified herself. Date like five girls at once, so when two flake and you're left with three, you'll be quite relieved. :)



How do you beat last minute resistance or Anti-Slut Defense? Ok thats off topic but I'm still looking for advice on that after my last frustrating experience.

I agree, spinning plates helps lessen the blow of flaking...

[Reyaj]

Most of the time, flaking doesn't even reflect on you as a man. You can pump her buying temperature sky high, be forced to number close, and never hear from her again. It's nothing personal; pretty girls just have a ton of options and are very easily distracted.

If you are cold approaching attractive, young girls, there is going to be a power imbalance. They are valued more by society than us, and there is little we can do to change that. Our best defense is to stack the odds in our favor- either by approaching tons of sets, or by constructing a "net" in the form of social proof.

We are all scientists here- running experiments, analyzing data, making predictions--it sounds silly, but thinking of game as an experiment ultimately allows us to detach from the negative emotions we experience when things go awry. It is in this light that "rejections" or "flakes" are of little significance--they are just part and parcel of the whole pickup experience. You want to protect your ego? Become celibate--that's the only way you won't face rejection. For the rest of us, we'll accept the frustrating aspects of pickup because we know the payoff is pretty sweet--we actually get to CHOSE our partner, rather than the other way around.

Do a survey of the couples that you know: How did they meet? Most of the time, it's because of their social circle. This is how most relationships form; the problem is, it's a very limited pool.

The fact that we dare to venture outside of this pool makes us rare, indeed. It also predisposes us to a variety of risks that AFCs aren't willing to take. So be it; we all know full well that we could relax our standards and SETTLE if we were so inclined, and have chosen not to do so. So, it's not our place to whine; it's our job to find solutions to the problems we have imposed upon ourselves.

Also, anyone that is feeling frustrated because of a lack of prospects should discover the joys of bulk texting--you'd be surprised how effective it is when it comes to setting up quick dates.



Well said! Can you explain more about bulk texting though? Does this mean randomly texting a bunch of plates you have in your phone one day? See I've been trying not to tell off every bvitch that flakes on me.. and keep them on reserve so to speak.. However one truth I have found is that "Rapport" is needed in order to seduce. Therefore if I text some plate I haven't talked to out of the blue one day, I have to work it a bit before I can get her to meet met again right away

If you have any tips to share on this though please do

[Falcon25]

A lot of internet tough hearts here. Make no doubt about it, if you are a good man, a strong man, and you give your all to make something happen. And then, it blows up in your face. The rejection, the pain, the sadness are all good feelings. It shows you are alive. It is the sadness of life. In a perfect world, if you are a good man, you deserve a good woman. But it's not. Most, will never even meet a good woman, yet alone marry one. You can read all the books you want, pull allt he pick up lines, and game women to death. In the end, you have to meet a good human being, not just a hot woman. That, is the hardest part to accept about it. Very few good female human beings these days. Very few in both sexes.

[Slickster]

A lot of internet tough hearts here. Make no doubt about it, if you are a good man, a strong man, and you give your all to make something happen. And then, it blows up in your face. The rejection, the pain, the sadness are all good feelings. It shows you are alive. It is the sadness of life. In a perfect world, if you are a good man, you deserve a good woman. But it's not. Most, will never even meet a good woman, yet alone marry one. You can read all the books you want, pull allt he pick up lines, and game women to death. In the end, you have to meet a good human being, not just a hot woman. That, is the hardest part to accept about it. Very few good female human beings these days. Very few in both sexes.

Awesome.

The real tough pill to swallow is finally meeting that rare good woman but then it is YOU who isn't ready for her. This is why becoming a good man should always precede learning "game". You can be the biggest stud around, if you don't have anything to back it up you will always fail in your relationships with a good woman.

Here's the kicker. Would you blame her? Would you blame one of these rare good women for flaking or not being interested in you when you know that you are not a good man yourself? You can't. You can only respect them and love them more. That is why they are so desired. They respect themselves.

As men we HAVE to follow suit if we truly want a good woman in our lives. This means becoming a truly good man. Respecting ourselves. As a good man you must not accept anything less than a good woman. If you don't hold women to the same standard as they hold you then you will always be on the losing side of the relationship. And it won't be a relationship with a good woman. As men when we decide to hold women to the highest standard and accept no less, that is when the good women slowly come out of the woodwork.

This is why screwing around with flakey, disrespectful, flighty, fickle, or slutty women will never end up being much more than meaningless sex. You'll scour the world over and fail to find any good women. You'll become bitter and jaded about it. Further ruining your chances if you do finally meet that rare good woman. What do you expect if you run around thinking with your d!ck all the time?

If you want a good woman YOU have to open the door to this possibility by becoming a good man. Flakey women have no room in your life. Forget the flakes. Always be moving forward. If you want the best, be the best.

[Jeffst1980]

Well said! Can you explain more about bulk texting though? Does this mean randomly texting a bunch of plates you have in your phone one day? See I've been trying not to tell off every bvitch that flakes on me.. and keep them on reserve so to speak.. However one truth I have found is that "Rapport" is needed in order to seduce. Therefore if I text some plate I haven't talked to out of the blue one day, I have to work it a bit before I can get her to meet met again right away

If you have any tips to share on this though please do


I just make a list for flaky girls in my phone. A simple, "hey- i'm gonna be around your area tonight- wanna grab a drink?" or "what are you up to tonight?" should suffice. Most will probably ignore it, but send enough of em and you're bound to get a couple of takers.

ALWAYS make backup plans!! Things fall through all the time, and it's better to be double booked than to be dependent on any one thing.

[runner83]

Awesome.

The real tough pill to swallow is finally meeting that rare good woman but then it is YOU who isn't ready for her. This is why becoming a good man should always precede learning "game". You can be the biggest stud around, if you don't have anything to back it up you will always fail in your relationships with a good woman.

Here's the kicker. Would you blame her? Would you blame one of these rare good women for flaking or not being interested in you when you know that you are not a good man yourself? You can't. You can only respect them and love them more. That is why they are so desired. They respect themselves.

As men we HAVE to follow suit if we truly want a good woman in our lives. This means becoming a truly good man. Respecting ourselves. As a good man you must not accept anything less than a good woman. If you don't hold women to the same standard as they hold you then you will always be on the losing side of the relationship. And it won't be a relationship with a good woman. As men when we decide to hold women to the highest standard and accept no less, that is when the good women slowly come out of the woodwork.

This is why screwing around with flakey, disrespectful, flighty, fickle, or slutty women will never end up being much more than meaningless sex. You'll scour the world over and fail to find any good women. You'll become bitter and jaded about it. Further ruining your chances if you do finally meet that rare good woman. What do you expect if you run around thinking with your d!ck all the time?

If you want a good woman YOU have to open the door to this possibility by becoming a good man. Flakey women have no room in your life. Forget the flakes. Always be moving forward. If you want the best, be the best.

Awesome way to put it.

Although I don't think there is anything wrong with "playing the field" before you are ready for this.

As long as you don't take it personally, this will give you exposure to a variety of woman, and you'll get used to the situations that can occur.

If you have other options, that will give you the mindframe that you won't really care if any particualr girl flakes, and moving on is much easier.

[squirrels]

How do you beat last minute resistance or Anti-Slut Defense? Ok thats off topic but I'm still looking for advice on that after my last frustrating experience.

I agree, spinning plates helps lessen the blow of flaking...

Hmm...steadily escalating kino, reading her response, sometimes a healthy degree of patience. Remember, girls want to be f**ked. You need to make her comfortable with you while at the same time making her feel your sexual presence.

Get into her...really enjoy being with her (her body is wonderland ;) )...and learn the arts of kissing and foreplay. Don't make her feel like a "notch", someone you're just f**king so you can run and tell SoSuave. Every girl I've f**ked is "special" in her own way. :)

[Slickster]

Although I don't think there is anything wrong with "playing the field" before you are ready for this.

As long as you don't take it personally, this will give you exposure to a variety of woman, and you'll get used to the situations that can occur.

If you have other options, that will give you the mindframe that you won't really care if any particualr girl flakes, and moving on is much easier.

Sure, play the field on your journey to become a better man. However, if you are a guy out there gaming you shouldn't be complaining about the lack of good women and flaking either. It comes with the territory.

That is something I never really understand around here. All these guys want to be players but they whine about flaking and untrustworthy women. What do you expect? :rolleyes:

[nismo-4]

The ones you love the most always seem to get away, and the ones who love you the most can never seem to win your heart. It is sad, but that seems to be the irony of life. Maybe there is some middle ground, or once in a blue moon probability will fall in your favor and you'll find one you share equal feelings with. I've yet to reach either one though.

It happens to the best of us. The game is stacked in the women's favor. Case and point; A man has to:

1. Have money
2. Be outgoing
3. Be handsome
4. Be high status
5. Have ambition
6. This list goes on and on.

Meanwhile a woman has to:
1. Look pretty
2. Be beautiful

I really don't think there's a such thing as a soul mate. That just puts females on a pedestal IMO.

[Slickster]

It happens to the best of us. The game is stacked in the women's favor. Case and point; A man has to:

1. Have money
2. Be outgoing
3. Be handsome
4. Be high status
5. Have ambition
6. This list goes on and on.

Meanwhile a woman has to:
1. Look pretty
2. Be beautiful

I really don't think there's a such thing as a soul mate. That just puts females on a pedestal IMO.


YES AND HERE LIES THE ROOT OF OUR PROBLEM!!!

We as men HAVE TO STOP giving women a free pass based on their looks. We HAVE TO STOP complaining about the lack of good women out there because it is OUR OWN DAMN FAULT for letting them get away with it.

It's human nature to do as little as possible to get by. Why would any woman work at becoming a good person when all she needs is to look beautiful and some sucker will give her anything she wants. Men must DEMAND more! Stop wasting your time with women who show poor behaviour. Demand respect, integrity, personality, etc.

Expect the highest of standards from the women in your life. If you truly are a good man (a prize) these women are out there and will find you. They will do anything to keep you.

As soon as she knows you are under her spell the power of her pvssy takes over. YOU ARE HER SLAVE. Of course she's going to be flakey. What do you expect? YOU ARE WEAK.

STOP THINKING WITH D!CKS GENTLEMEN!!!

[CrashOverRide]

YES AND HERE LIES THE ROOT OF OUR PROBLEM!!!

We as men HAVE TO STOP giving women a free pass based on their looks. We HAVE TO STOP complaining about the lack of good women out there because it is OUR OWN DAMN FAULT for letting them get away with it.

It's human nature to do as little as possible to get by. Why would any woman work at becoming a good person when all she needs is to look beautiful and some sucker will give her anything she wants. Men must DEMAND more! Stop wasting your time with women who show poor behaviour. Demand respect, integrity, personality, etc.

Expect the highest of standards from the women in your life. If you truly are a good man (a prize) these women are out there and will find you. They will do anything to keep you.

As soon as she knows you are under her spell the power of her pvssy takes over. YOU ARE HER SLAVE. Of course she's going to be flakey. What do you expect? YOU ARE WEAK.

STOP THINKING WITH D!CKS GENTLEMEN!!!


I wish you could broadcast that message to the world Slickster. It will take a universal collective effort to start changing things...

[Demodulate]

The ones you love the most always seem to get away, and the ones who love you the most can never seem to win your heart. It is sad, but that seems to be the irony of life. Maybe there is some middle ground, or once in a blue moon probability will fall in your favor and you'll find one you share equal feelings with. I've yet to reach either one though.

:rockon:

sooo true..

[rbd]

For me, the hardest thing is coming to realize that suffering and disappointment are an ever present part of this life. When I was younger and not able to get a woman to save my life, I saw the skills for the attainment of a good girlfriend as my ticket out of my troubles. Now I have those skills, and find that there are new troubles.

Was lack of sex the problem earlier? Now that you can get women for that without a lot of hassle, you find that it normally doesn’t hold the magic it used to (or that it is sometimes not worth the hassle). Was lack of maturity of girls your age the problem? Now that you are older and more experienced, you find that while some women your age may mature emotionally, the amount of baggage they acquire has also increased. Perhaps you saw getting in shape as the answer to your woes, not just with women, but with life. Now that you are actually in shape, you find yourself aging, and start seeing new cracks and marks on your skin as your body doesn’t work as well as it used to anymore.

In the end I think reaching a level of acceptance on not only the nature of the game, but the nature of this mortal life cycle, and the nature of attachment and suffering is the hardest thing. The answer here is that suffering, change and death are ever-present. I have found that the realization and acceptance of this truth and all its implications has done the most by far to bring me lasting happiness and by extension, success with women, no question about it.

And as I continue my meditation on this life, I can tell you that seeing through the fog, the matrix, samsara, maya, mitote, or whatever you wish to call it is a transformative experience: I’m not as impatient, or striving, or anxiety-prone as I used to be. I meet with women on dates and don’t get nearly as nervous anymore, because I see that they are just the same as me, stuck in the same maze. The extra confidence is amazing (my only fear is that I’ll somehow lose it!)

I think a lot of what is taught here in the MM forum is good medicine because it helps us realize the folly of attachment, anger and ignorance in perpetuating the endless cycle of suffering. Buddhist teachings have also been most helpful here for me.

For anyone that is interested in any of this, I’d recommend “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and “The Way to Freedom” by The Dalai Lama as good starters.

Robby

[Reyaj]

For me, the hardest thing is coming to realize that suffering and disappointment are an ever present part of this life. When I was younger and not able to get a woman to save my life, I saw the skills for the attainment of a good girlfriend as my ticket out of my troubles. Now I have those skills, and find that there are new troubles.

Was lack of sex the problem earlier? Now that you can get women for that without a lot of hassle, you find that it normally doesn’t hold the magic it used to (or that it is sometimes not worth the hassle). Was lack of maturity of girls your age the problem? Now that you are older and more experienced, you find that while some women your age may mature emotionally, the amount of baggage they acquire has also increased. Perhaps you saw getting in shape as the answer to your woes, not just with women, but with life. Now that you are actually in shape, you find yourself aging, and start seeing new cracks and marks on your skin as your body doesn’t work as well as it used to anymore.

In the end I think reaching a level of acceptance on not only the nature of the game, but the nature of this mortal life cycle, and the nature of attachment and suffering is the hardest thing. The answer here is that suffering, change and death are ever-present. I have found that the realization and acceptance of this truth and all its implications has done the most by far to bring me lasting happiness and by extension, success with women, no question about it.

And as I continue my meditation on this life, I can tell you that seeing through the fog, the matrix, samsara, maya, mitote, or whatever you wish to call it is a transformative experience: I’m not as impatient, or striving, or anxiety-prone as I used to be. I meet with women on dates and don’t get nearly as nervous anymore, because I see that they are just the same as me, stuck in the same maze. The extra confidence is amazing (my only fear is that I’ll somehow lose it!)

I think a lot of what is taught here in the MM forum is good medicine because it helps us realize the folly of attachment, anger and ignorance in perpetuating the endless cycle of suffering. Buddhist teachings have also been most helpful here for me.

For anyone that is interested in any of this, I’d recommend “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and “The Way to Freedom” by The Dalai Lama as good starters.

Robby

Thanks for that Robby. I will now proceed to hang myself :wave:

[PokerStar]

*takes a deep breath*

[rbd]

Thanks for that Robby. I will now proceed to hang myself :wave:

Haha, no problem. People here talk about being let out of the matrix. Well, there you go. :rock:

On the flip side, if you accept the nature of this life and become comfortable with it, it becomes harder for things to phase you, since you realize we're all in a fishbowl anyhow. Some folks do accuse Buddhism of being pessimistic though, I wonder why. :) (Tolle has a slightly different view that focuses more on the present and affords more power for change in this life, rather than just seeing it as a means to acquire better karma and be set free, as the Buddhists do.)

[Reyaj]

Haha, no problem. People here talk about being let out of the matrix. Well, there you go. :rock:

On the flip side, if you accept the nature of this life and become comfortable with it, it becomes harder for things to phase you, since you realize we're all in a fishbowl anyhow. Some folks do accuse Buddhism of being pessimistic though, I wonder why. :) (Tolle has a slightly different view that focuses more on the present and affords more power for change in this life, rather than just seeing it as a means to acquire better karma and be set free, as the Buddhists do.)


So is marriage or an LTR a goal for you? Or do you just live with the notion everything is temporary and you just want to enjoy girls for a short while?

[Reyaj]

Hmm...steadily escalating kino, reading her response, sometimes a healthy degree of patience. Remember, girls want to be f**ked. You need to make her comfortable with you while at the same time making her feel your sexual presence.

Get into her...really enjoy being with her (her body is wonderland ;) )...and learn the arts of kissing and foreplay. Don't make her feel like a "notch", someone you're just f**king so you can run and tell SoSuave. Every girl I've f**ked is "special" in her own way. :)


I think that last line you said hits home... I have gotten cocky lateely and have ignored the "romance" part of seduction. When I have teased and not expected sex in the past is when I got it... If I can get this part of my game down I will be a master. I have no problem picking up girls and even getting them to meet me... Now I am focused on the escalation part...

[rbd]

So is marriage or an LTR a goal for you? Or do you just live with the notion everything is temporary and you just want to enjoy girls for a short while?

Of course LTRs are a goal (and eventually, marriage, if I find the right chick for me). Seeing this life for what it truly is doesn’t mean that you just have to throw up your hands and go “well oh shyt, guess I should just go hang myself and get it over with faster.” If you know that that everything is subject to change and that what you have today may not be there tomorrow, it does two things: If forces you to be more mindful and appreciative of the blessings that you do currently have in your life, and it helps to remind you that the negative things you have in your life won’t be around forever.

You’d do well to study the nature of suffering a bit. Most people think of suffering as only a bad thing. After all, who wants to suffer? These same people go through life with all of its ups and downs complaining bitterly and blaming others for their misfortunes. They do not learn, and they do not grow. What they don’t see is that CONCIOUS, AWARE SUFFERING is the path to true freedom and enlightenment. Whether it be with that date that dumped you, losing your job, poor health, or whatever, when we suffer, we ALWAYS have a choice: We can learn and grow from the experience, or we can put our heads in the sand and make excuses. If we choose to learn, we find that suffering changes us in amazing ways and progressively loosens our plug into the matrix, so to say. Tolle said (and I’m paraphrasing him here) that suffering is necessary, until it is not.

As an example of this, I have Crohn’s disease, which is a chronic intestinal disease. Although I have this well under control and take no meds for it now, I have to live with this every day. However, at least a few times a month, something is up with my health that reminds me of how mortal I am. When I was first diagnosed with this, over 10 years ago, I saw it entirely as a curse. I had to totally change my lifestyle and diet. I had to teach myself about medicine, nutrition, immunology, and so forth. I went through years of issues, frustrations, and even contemplated suicide on more than a few occasions. Throughout all of this however, this disease has taught me patience and prodded me to seek what lies behind the curtain, and the benefits of this have bled over into other parts of my life, including my interactions with women. Most of my growth has undoubtedly come in the past year and a half, when I was in a dysfunctional relationship with a BPD, totally broke and in debt, working all the time, managing a failing business (had to lay numerous folks off) and dealing with this disease and overall bad health from the stress. All at the same, damn, time. I took the opportunity to read and learn, and channel my suffering into change, and it helped! It was a horrible time in my life, but if I had to do it all over again, I would, just because of the mindset it has brought me today....far from some perfect Buddha, but happier and more clear than I've ever been in my life.

All of the benefits to becoming more grounded and aware not only will help you personally with your happiness, they will also greatly increase your attractiveness to women. You are naturally controlled and are a “mystery” to her not because you have practiced gimmicks up your sleeve, but because you simply have nothing to prove to yourself or her. Your mind will be more quiet, because you know the true nature of thought (that it is just empty words, not your identity) and have trained yourself through meditation. Without that nagging voice in my head, you can naturally focus more on the person you are with, not on your fears and inhibitions. Also, most women become awfully transparent and easier to understand, especially if they themselves are still firmly plugged into the illusion.

And lastly, if she dumps you, it will hurt still, but it won’t be such a big deal as before, since you’ll be confident in who you are, and will know that someone else will come into your life soon enough.

[rbd]

Get into her...really enjoy being with her (her body is wonderland ;) )...and learn the arts of kissing and foreplay. Don't make her feel like a "notch", someone you're just f**king so you can run and tell SoSuave. Every girl I've f**ked is "special" in her own way. :)

Someone else on this forum (forget who) stated awhile ago that seducing a woman requires you to cultivate two things: comfort and attraction. I've never forgotten that.

I think a lot of what you're talking about here is the comfort side of the equation. If I remember correctly, the conclusion that Mystery came to was that strongest way to cultivate that comfort was to have genuine honesty and compassion for her.

When you have a clear heart, no tricks up your sleeve and realize the things I said in my other responses to this thread, this will come naturally. Of course, there's still the attraction part as well. Without that, you're just an AFC with a good heart. At least with me, I had to learn most of that attraction side as piecemeal techniques until it became habit.

[Solomon]

I know that you read Kailex's post. Read it again. Savor it.

What are your goals in life? STOP putting so much effort in cold approaching women... It puts you in a vulnerable position FROM THE START.

What do you want to do with your life? You must be focusing on your goals, your views, your life and your fun.

Seems like having made all this effort isn't making you a happier person. Try to be that happier person and don't fvcking worry about women so much.

The more I read on this forum, and the more I chew over what I read; I realize that I am enjoying my life much more ...! Every little thing is making me happy.

Let go of your insecurities .. Practice staying single for 6 months and improving YOUR LIFE and you'll see you'll be getting those b!tches left and right.

Just change your focus, man,

It's level UP time.

tHIS POST is Gold, and I try to apply it daily, but dang, if it wasn't for testosterone and the need to bust one off a hot piece of a$$, well you get the point mate lol

[Blue Phoenix]

I would add some "laws" to follow in case you´re in doubt:

LAW 1
The Wise, the Foolish, and the Evil: Identifying Which Kinds of People Deserve Your Trust

LAW 2
All of your precious resources--time, energy, talent, passion, money--should only go to the buds of your life or your business that are the best, are fixable and are indispensable

LAW 3
(Mistake) Believing that Quitting means you Failed

LAW 4
The Good Cannot Begin until the Bad Ends

LAW 5
Embrace the Grief - The importance of metabolizing necessary endings

:rockon:

Book>> Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward