I met up with a eighteen year old HB8 over the weekend, who was a tourist visiting from overseas. The first time we met up, I showed her a great time around the city, and took her to a few places where people knew me, showing social proof. We passed a bar where I knew the staff and two of the bartenders asked me to come by tomorrow night as they were finishing up there. The girl asked if she could come along, and I said I would think about it, not wanting to seem to eager.

The second day, I invited her to come along and we went for drinks. We ended up stopping at a bunch of different bars, and having drinks in each one. She was acting mildly flirty the whole night, telling me about how she had made out with four guys during a camp and constantly asking me how many women I had been with. Every time it was her time to buy, she also bought much stronger drinks then what I was choosing (she went for strong ****tails with 5-6 six shots in them rather then wine or beer). As a result, we both ended up getting pretty wasted (something I did not realise until much later that night!).

On the trip back home, she tried to kiss me a couple of times. We went back to my car, and we ended up starting to have sex in the backseat. However, she asked me to stop after a few minutes, which I did, and started being sick. I ended up spending three hours sitting with her, cleaning her up and waiting for myself to sober up enough so I could drive her back to where she was staying. When I dropped her off, she apologised profusely and gave me a hug saying she had a great night.

However, the next day I sent her a text asking her how her head felt and making a joke about spending the morning cleaning the vomit out of my car. I have not heard from her since (two days ago).

The question I have for my fellow DJ's is whether I should I text or try to get in touch with her in other ways again? I am a little concerned that she might feel that I took advantage of her, even though she was the one choosing the strong drinks and we were both pretty hammered. I spoke to some female friends and they were of the opinion that she felt embarassed about either hooking up with someone so quickly or just getting so wasted so I should just leave it. However, I have two reasons to still be concerned. Firstly, we met through a traveller's organisation where you volunteer to show around visitors to the city, and I am concerned if she makes a bad report about me, I won't be allowed to continue to work with the group. Secondly, (and I realise this may just be me being AFC) I feel a little responsible for the girls's feelings because she is much younger, even though she was just as interested in the beginning as myself.

So what are people's thoughts - should I try to contact this girl again to make her feel better, or should I just leave it?

In my experience its best to let it go.

Most likely she is feeling some buyers remorse, typical after
a ONS and so its basically over.

Firefly said:

So what are people's thoughts - should I try to contact this girl again to make her feel better, or should I just leave it?

Click to expand...

Do nothing, say nothing and do NOT drunk dial.
Her silence is saying it all.
Backpacker women act just like women do on cruise ships...fukk fests is all.

jophil28 said:

Do nothing, say nothing and do NOT drunk dial.
Her silence is saying it all.

Click to expand...

Sad but true.

You know, OP, if you are not sure... go for it.. Do the WRONG thing for yourself, and see how it blows up.

I like to do that from time to time, frequently in CHESS. I know, I am being tempted to snatch a "poisoned pawn" but then I go, OK PROVE it to me.

I learn more when I see "the point" with my own eyes.

Push this ad nauseam, and see the result for yourself.

But the sad reality is, most likely, that her silence tells all about it. :yes:

Boilermaker said:

Sad but true.

You know, OP, if you are not sure... go for it.. Do the WRONG thing for yourself, and see how it blows up.

I like to do that from time to time, frequently in CHESS. I know, I am being tempted to snatch a "poisoned pawn" but then I go, OK PROVE it to me.

I learn more when I see "the point" with my own eyes.

Push this ad nauseam, and see the result for yourself.

But the sad reality is, most likely, that her silence tells all about it. :yes:

Click to expand...

Nah, dude, I have learnt from bitter experience before - I had a ONS with a friend once, and we were fine for months until I made the mistake of asking her one night how she felt about it. She decided she regretted it and said we could no longer be friends. Sometimes it seems women only blame men for their own "buyer's remorse" if the man shows he is weak enough to accept such unfair blame.

To clarify, I am not looking for a relationship or anything like that with this girl. My concern is more that she does not make a complaint to the group I volunteer with, as well as feeling a little responsible for any hurt feelings she may have given the fact she is younger (although I know the latter is being a little AFC).

Firefly said:

My concern is more that she does not make a complaint to the group I volunteer with, as well as feeling a little responsible for any hurt feelings she may have given the fact she is younger (although I know the latter is being a little AFC).

Click to expand...

What does she have on you to complain about? Did you somehow "make" her drunk and ill? SHe is a legal foreign visitor, and she can drink legally in this country as you know.
Dude, you are having one of those ," OMG what if she.." moments .
I wager that she is MORE terrified that you will disclose her stupid drinking binge and her puke to the group.

This is not a 15 year old exchange student who lives in your parent's garage.

Firefly said:

So what are people's thoughts - should I try to contact this girl again to make her feel better, or should I just leave it?

Click to expand...

If you've only sent one message to her, what's the harm in sending one more? (2 strikes rule).

But of course, your aim should not be to contact her to make her feel better, but instead to get back with her to s8x her and take care of unfinished business.

If she doesn't respond to your second message, you have your answer and can move on.