I had my first date with this girl last weekend and it could not have gone better. I picked her up and we were on our way. There was a lot of flirting, plenty of kino, hand holding and making out. The date ended with a good night kiss and I was off. I called her 3 days later to set up te second date and she agreed almost instantly telling me she couldn't wait to see me again.

Our second date was scheduled for tonight. I had arranged to pick her up take her to dinner and then watch a movie. She called me this afternoon and told me that her boss was keeping her very late at work and that her mother really needed her help so she didn't think she would be able to meet tonight. She immediately followed suggesting that we meet tomorrow night instead following the same plans.

Was I wrong in agreeing to meeting tomorrow? I assume some would suggest that something better came along and she just simply blew me off. I would also assume that some would suggest that I never picked up the phone in the first place. Is this some kind of test or power grab or am I overlooking this? Is it at all possible that she was simply telling the truth?

she immediately made a counter-offer.

she's interested.

do it.

it's when they don't make a counter offer that you stop contacting them and make them contact you.

No big deal, go with it.

Use tonight to line up some more options.

You're in good shape man... Nothing to worry about!

the_m@n said:

Is it at all possible that she was simply telling the truth?

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Simple answer- what evidence do you have that she is not ?

The situation that you describe is common in the early stages of getting to know a new woman.. Just go with her change of plans -after all she may be genuine and a great girl. Her actions would not raise an alarm with me.

jophil28 said:

Simple answer- what evidence do you have that she is not ?

The situation that you describe is common in the early stages of getting to know a new woman.. Just go with her change of plans -after all she may be genuine and a great girl. Her actions would not raise an alarm with me.

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I think I may be going crazy. I didn't used to think like this. I honestly can't tell you why I would even think she has a reason to lie other than paranoia. Now I feel like I'm in some sort of game and everyone is playing. After reading all the stuff on this site and in the DJ Bible I get the impression that dating is some game of wits and every time I talk to a woman or take her out I am tested on how well I do at it. My problem is I don't ever want to revert back to my old ways.

the_m@n said:

I think I may be going crazy. I didn't used to think like this. I honestly can't tell you why I would even think she has a reason to lie other than paranoia. Now I feel like I'm in some sort of game and everyone is playing. After reading all the stuff on this site and in the DJ Bible I get the impression that dating is some game of wits and every time I talk to a woman or take her out I am tested on how well I do at it. My problem is I don't ever want to revert back to my old ways.

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Your pendulum has swung too far the other way.

If you read every action by a woman as some sinister "test" you will drive yourself nuts.
There is a fear driven obsession on this site about women "testing" men. It happens about 2% of the times claimed .
I read a lot of misinformed statements by men here who are so 'on alert' that they have lost their spontaneity and their willing to enjoy the 'flow'.

YOu do need to be aware of your surroundings and optimistically cautious about a new women BUT before you next her you need EVIDENCE.

You gut is unreliable in many ways -it will tell you that something is amiss but your BRAIN needs to investigate the fine detail.

If a woman is acting in a courteous way and shows enough interest in you to counteroffer then you are in a good place with her and she with you...so far.

There are no scorpoins under a rock in this relationship with this woman, in fact there is probably no rock.

Good luck.

The only problem I see is your taking her to "dinner and a movie" before she has put out.

tihash said:

The only problem I see is your taking her to "dinner and a movie" before she has put out.

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Is this truely a problem?

I took her to the dinner and a movie and barely watched the movie.

Never jump to conclusions unless you have facts on the table.

Go with the flow, have a good time then analyze how the dates are going. If a girl always changes plans on you, your gut will tell you that she may not be interested in you. Almost all the time your gut will be telling you the truth.