xxx

You are 25 man, you are a baby. Girls like older guys. You are alive, most your age are either dead or in a war somewhere. You ever thought about that? You have the opportunity to make this happen. I laughed when you said "missed out". It's just beginning man. You don't get that many girls sometimes till your late 20's or early thirties. That's when you are more attractive to them. Let go of the grief and start talking to girls, after you talk, ask them out, after asking them out, kiss them, after that try to have an intimate relationship, then sex will follow. Baby steps bro. In the meantime, go back to school for SOMETHING, get a job, a place, and start SLOWLY. You are 25 not 45.

yo can totally change your life an make it how you want to be bro.

read "Awaken The Giant Within" and apply as much as you can to your life

in a nutshell you need to decide EXACTLY what you want in every area of ur life, make an excellent plan to achieve it and take massive action to make it happen

consider a life coach or a mentor to help speed up the process

WTF is this sh!t?

Time to man up and grab your balls. If you're gonna go down, go down swinging.

You CAN do this. You just have to WANT it enough.

I don't wanna hear any more of this sh!t about "punting" at life. You've been through enough crap and came out still alive. You DESERVE to give yourself more of a shot than you do. F*ck the past. What are you gonna do NOW?? You're 25. Everyone else had their chance to f*ck you...now it's YOUR turn to do something for your life. Don't f*ck yourself, too.

What do YOU want?

have not read a word on the OP, but I can guess a few points:

-very good looking
-some combination of smart or successful
-can't wrap his head around mental issues
-some life changing event that led him here?

I don't know if any of those are right, but even 1 our of 4 wouldn't be bad! (so much for helping the OP, will actually read thread and respond in a future edit)

Can anyone suggest anyway I can neutralise any feelings towards girls, particularly attractive girls. There is simply no way a girl will find me attractive in my current predicament, and I must accept it is over even if I could turn this around it will take me some years to do it it. Basically I am trying to become asexual perhaps anyone knows some psychological techniques, it keeps coming back up and it hurts.

You treat women as the soul cure to your problems when in reality you need to get your **** together. Clearly you are smart enough to go to college and clean up in whatever field you want, but it sounds like you have no particular passions at the moment. Understandable, its not easy to find something you like even if the classwork isn't difficult. Even if you managed to get a g/f, you'd be right back at square one; floating listlessly through life unsure as to what to do.

you even said it yourself

Now to the point, I am 25 now, never had a girl, never had sex with a girl except when I paid for it (I thought it would help me stop being depressed).

Didn't work did it? what makes you think a g/f will either? Actually, she may make it worse. Women love men who have it together. You don't.

tried to go back to another Uni but felt just too old, not motivated,

I am not a 10/10 on looks like you, but somehow I can still manage to get w/ 20 year old at the ripe old age of 29. I hang out near college campus since its near where I work and get eye fvcked every time I am out. Age doesn't hurt me at all. Actually being older makes it easier for me; much easier. Put those self proclaimed good looks to work!

As a side note, don't take that previous post too personally. A lot of people come on here with nearly identical problems. Looks like I was right on a few of them...getting good at this!

Okay, since you've started a bytch and whine fest, it's my turn...

- I was born pre-mature in the dead of winter

- My mother beat the living 5hit out of me between ages 0-15. She was an abusive parent.

- My father was an alcoholic

- My mother joined a cult when I was 5 years old and forced me to go along with it.

- The cult forbid celebrating holidays such as Christmas, halloween, and even my birthday.

- My father joined the cult when I was 12 years old.

- The cult forbid me to talk to girls, date girls, and masturbate.

- Everytime I talked to girls, my mother would scold me in front of them, effectively humiliating me.

- I became suicidal at age 16

- I left the cult at age 18

- I was booted out of my house at age 19.

- I went to live with my girlfriend and her dad. I proposed to her.

- She lost the ring and then dumped me.

- I found sosuave

- I made the effort to turn my life around, looking at the positive things in my life and put in effort to approach girls, number close, and get them into bed.

- I got married

- I got divorced.

- I'm happier than a pig in 5hit to be back out in the field, flirting with women and dating again.



The lesson? Don't give me that horse5hit that life has been too fvcking hard on you and you're not 'meant to get women'. I had everything against me, but I climed that hill of life to become successful. I love my job, I'm happy with all the 5hit I've accomplished, and I'm not done yet.

You can either sit at the bottom of the hill of life and cry about the a55hole who rolled you down it, or you can say "enough of being a goddam wimp, it's time to get my ass to the top!"

The choice is yours, but if you choose to be a wimp, you'll have to get your pity somewhere else.

spetomas said:

I It affects me badly especially if they are young 19-20, it makes me feel like a paedophile.

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That right there says how ignorant and STUPID you truly are. First off, you can't spell pedophile yet you throw it out there like some jealous 40 year old bitter old hag would, and 2nd off everyone in the world knows that there is nothing ****ing wrong with a 25 year old guy dating 19 and 20 year olds.......seriously, get the EFF out of here with that line of thinking!

TL;DR!

Somebody got it worse than yo ass right now. Man the f**k up and know that life isn't fair. Take charge!

Case closed.

Clearly the folks here are not therapists. I believe the OP should be in therapy at least 3x per week if he's not already. Only one-on-one therapy with a licensed, trained, state-certified psychiatrist even has a chance of helping the OP. Posting to random folks who have absolutely no training is not going to help at all. The OP's problems are much larger than, "I can't get laid."

xxx

Exactly, I want to get my life back together and to do it and I don't want to be affected so badly and emotionally everytime I see a good looking girl.

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Women are NOT the source of all your problems, nor are they the solution. Women are just human beings of the opposite sex. Do you feel badly emotionally everytime you see a cow? Of course not, a cow is just female cattle.

Even if you get every other area in your life fixed up, you're still going to be intimidated by female humans. There are many successful men out there who have gained money and fame, but still have issues when it comes to the opposite sex.

And if you really want the answer, the only way to "neutralize that crap" is to approach women, converse with them, get their numbers, and take them out on dates. The only way to cure your fear is to prove to yourself that there is NOTHING to fear.

But if you're unwilling to do this and prefer to find the 'quick fix', then nobody on this board will be able to help you.

xxx

spetomas said:

That is why I would like a mental exercise or method to neutralise this, I'm sure a girl in the past would have helped me somewhat but it wasn't and is not meant to be. There must be some way to neutralise the invasive past thoughts, it is psychosomatic.

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You neutralize it by not focusing so much on it. By making it out to be some huge mental block in your life, rather than just an annoying buzzing in your head, you are giving it power to control your life.

You can't just "shut it off". Fighting it just makes it stronger. You have to let it exist and do what you were going to do anyway. It'll shut up if you don't focus your attention on it.

Unfortunately, I don't believe that's what you really want. You WANT to be with a woman and you're trying to deny your own desire because you don't believe you have what it takes to achieve it. That's sad, man. I hope you don't go that route.

I've seen lesser men than you get women. How can you get through all this crap you claim to have gotten through, and then be scared of a vag!na? Come on, man.

Your excuse for not getting women in your youth is more than valid. Your excuse for CONTINUING to fail with women is nonsense. This is YOUR life, now.

And nismo-4 you "Man the f**k up", I can tell from what you've written you'd be in a mental asylum if you had to take half the **** I have, real men don't do big talk they do action. CASE CLOSED.

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So stop posting 5,000,000 word posts on how much your life sucks and TAKE SOME ACTION.

Once again, you're a man now. Your life is in YOUR hands. All that crap with your parents and whatever is in the past...it's time for YOU to make YOUR mark on your life. Like I said...if everyone and everything else f*cked you, it doesn't matter, as long as you don't decide to f*ck YOURSELF too.

xxx

Dear Spetomas,
You are intellectualising far too much,you are young,highly intelligent and well educated if not credentialised...Many Men have problems getting kicked off with Girls...You live in Northern England,so Ball room Dancing is not a problem,it will be everywhere around you...London to a Brick that if you go along to lessons and persevere for six months your problems will be over...see it as a challenge but believe me if you stick at it regardless of two left feet or whatever,you will be off.Even if you never become Fred Astaire,you will meet dozens of girls,hold them,talk to them after a while they get to know you,most of your problems solved.

xxx

Desdinova I'm really not sure if you are helping

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Well, I'm certainly not going to tell you what you want to hear. If you want me to pat you on the head and say "There, there, I'm glad I didn't have your life", you're certainly not going to get it from me. You can remain in your crummy little hole and believe that everyone else had a better childhood than you.

Please don't talk to me about curing fear, I had a policy of approaching the hottest girl in every night club and asking to dance for several years even when I had depression, even when I felt sh1t

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If you've got it all figured out and you really ARE good with women, then why are you wasting our time?

I don't give a flying 5hit how you justify your past experience with women. If you're intimidated by them now, it means that you fear what they think of you. If you didn't give a damn about what they think of you, then you'd approach ANY woman - young, old, ugly, or hot.

Now the whole package makes me feel like sh1t, looking at hot girls makes me feel like sh1t because it didn't and couldn't happen in the past

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But wait... you just said that you could approach and dance with any woman in the club. And now it couldn't happen? Please define it. If you failed to close the deal, then it wasn't because of fate. It was because neither you nor the woman made the effort to take things to the next level. Now, if you actually decide to LEARN something here, you'll discover that the woman rarely takes things to the next level. They want the man to lead, and that is what you failed to do - LEAD.

It can't happen now due to my situation and when I can make it possible it will be too late.

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That's horse5hit. I lived in a crappy little house, worked two jobs, poor as hell, and I bunked in a pink room. None of that mattered as I still had women competing for me. They don't give a damn what job you have, how little you make, and where you live. All they care about is how you make them feel. Once you REALLY discover that, the rest of the garbage in your life won't matter.

to have some pipsqueek judge me who is 18 and had nothing better to worry about than putting her make up on and how much money "daddy" paid for her new car. It makes me sick.

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This isn't what it's really like out there. You've come to this conclusion based on the media and your own perception of women. The fact that you distort the reality of women shows your lack of experience with them.

Women were not meant for me

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Then go fvck a guy and leave the women for us.

I don't mind criticism, what I do mind is people making conclusions When they have not read the posts properly.

If you're just going to be an aggressive oik then thanks, but no thanks Desdinova, I came here for advice/help/criticism and not for people like you just to mouth off, be argumentative and tell me to "fvck a man", why don't you take your "advice" (if it can be called that) and "fvck yourself".

To everyone else: There has been some good advice, thank you and goodbye.

And that's why the internet is so popular. Just erase your past and quit when someone hurts your feelings.

Good luck surviving in the real world.