Ex girlfriend

cognac · Apr 11, 2010

So I've been chatting with my ex a bit lately. I'm the one that broke up with her a few years ago. She tells me she is in a bind financially and owes some money on some bills that have accrued over the past 2 months. About $150. I actually want to help her out. She says she might go into stripping to make some money cuz she is starting to get far behind. Told her that is disgusting, pisses me off and if she does start stripping I will not talk to her anymore basically. Told her I don't want to ever hear of her stripping or hear of it again. I have a firm belief against those clubs and the generality of what goes on behind the scenes there.

I told her I'd lend her $200 to sorta get caught up. I mean it's only 200, I've got money so it's just change to me. Today I started thinking about it. I'm the one that offered her the money for one. I'm surely never gonna see the money back no doubt. I actually want to help her but I started thinking maybe she just wants the money for something else. I dunno what ta do? Should I just forget about it and act like I never said such a thing? Damn conscience. lol

amoka · Apr 11, 2010

If that is "just a change" to you, give it to her and dont expect to have it back. Dont worry about what she uses the money for. If after receiving the money and she still goes into stripping, do not talk to her again (as you already let her know in your chat with her).

cognac · Apr 11, 2010

yeah. I told her no stripping. And to tell me(as in say I will not strip)she won't strip because I can't deal with someone who has no self respect flashing their body for money in front of perverts. And to not disappoint me.

jophil28 · Apr 11, 2010

cognac said:
So I've been chatting with my ex a bit lately. I'm the one that broke up with her a few years ago. She tells me she is in a bind financially and owes some money on some bills that have accrued over the past 2 months. About $150. I actually want to help her out. She says she might go into stripping to make some money cuz she is starting to get far behind. Told her that is disgusting, pisses me off and if she does start stripping I will not talk to her anymore basically. Told her I don't want to ever hear of her stripping or hear of it again. I have a firm belief against those clubs and the generality of what goes on behind the scenes there.

I told her I'd lend her $200 to sorta get caught up. I mean it's only 200, I've got money so it's just change to me. Today I started thinking about it. I'm the one that offered her the money for one. I'm surely never gonna see the money back no doubt. I actually want to help her but I started thinking maybe she just wants the money for something else. I dunno what ta do? Should I just forget about it and act like I never said such a thing? Damn conscience. lol

Cognac, what are you thinking ? Her financial problems are HERS, not your's..
You are being manipulated and used.

You are allowing her problems to be transferred across to you - a boundary violation.
You might want to stay on this site for a while longer to kill off your Capt-save-a- Ho mentality.

cognac · Apr 11, 2010

Jophil I am using this as a test on her. $200 is nothing to me. I want to see what her reaction is and see how it pans out. So either way if I am being used or not it's gonna be her loss in the long run if she chooses the wrong path with me.

Ease · Apr 11, 2010

cognac said:
Jophil I am using this as a test on her. $200 is nothing to me. I want to see what her reaction is and see how it pans out. So either way if I am being used or not it's gonna be her loss in the long run if she chooses the wrong path with me.

She probably knows how strongly you feel about her stripping.

She probably is using it to get a reaction and sympathy from you.

Sounds like your being manipulated.

jophil28 · Apr 11, 2010

cognac said:
Jophil I am using this as a test on her. $200 is nothing to me. I want to see what her reaction is and see how it pans out. So either way if I am being used or not it's gonna be her loss in the long run if she chooses the wrong path with me.

Why are you bothering to "test" an ex ? What do you want from her, or hope to gain ?

game.r · Apr 11, 2010

cognac said:
yeah. I told her no stripping. And to tell me(as in say I will not strip)she won't strip because I can't deal with someone who has no self respect flashing their body for money in front of perverts. And to not disappoint me.

she's you ex why do u need to deal with her?

And if someone decides to go to a strip club that doesnt make them a pervert.

romangod · Apr 11, 2010

cognac said:
Jophil I am using this as a test on her. $200 is nothing to me. I want to see what her reaction is and see how it pans out. So either way if I am being used or not it's gonna be her loss in the long run if she chooses the wrong path with me.

If you say this enough times to yourself you might actually believe it.

What is this need to "test" her?

Don't bullsh*t a bullsh*tter. :nono:

If you really want to test her try loaning her a few thousand bucks. It's her loss if it doesn't pan out.

Cheers!

cedd · Apr 11, 2010

And why are you going upster about her stripping ?
You are neither her bf nor her father, your are her EX !
I guess you dont want to imagine her (in bed) with a another guy, do you ?

if 200$ is change for you and you want help her out (if she deserves it), just give her that money and say "you will thank me later. Good luck".

one more good deed and you will get your wings !

cheers.

cognac · Apr 11, 2010

I thought about this. It is a bad idea. I actually started caring about her again through talkin with her. Shame on myself. i dunno what the hell ta tell her when she asks why I changed my mind.

cedd · Apr 11, 2010

cognac said:
I thought about this. It is a bad idea. I actually started caring about her again through talkin with her. Shame on myself. i dunno what the hell ta tell her when she asks why I changed my mind.

Be honest. Nothing wrong with changing your mind. You dont owe her anything, then.

cognac · Apr 11, 2010

I actually want to get back together with her. My mind is all over the place about it. The whole she wants to strip thing pissed me off. Nothing I can do about it anyway even if i tell her not to she'll end up doing it anyways.

cedd · Apr 11, 2010

yes youre right. Its none of your business.
Stop contacting her. you will help YOU out !

sodbuster · Apr 11, 2010

SO, WHY is she your EX? If you broke up with her, the same reasons will come back the first time you try to date her again.

window · Apr 12, 2010

ah the fair damsel in distress...

squirrels · Apr 12, 2010

A fool and his money are soon parted.

Jophil is right. If she wanted your cawk, she would HIDE her financial issues, rather than air them out. The fact that she is telling you about them says, at least to me, that she needs money and knows you have it.

Tell her to strip. Give her the money at the club for a lapdance. That way, she's at least paying you back with more than false hope.

romangod · Apr 12, 2010

cognac said:
I actually want to get back together with her. My mind is all over the place about it. The whole she wants to strip thing pissed me off. Nothing I can do about it anyway even if i tell her not to she'll end up doing it anyways.

At least you're finally being honest with yourself. It was obvious to everyone but you. Still, I have no idea why you want to get back with her. She doesn't sound like much of a catch. Are you that desperate?

Cheers!

zekko · Apr 12, 2010

I actually want to get back together with her. My mind is all over the place about it. The whole she wants to strip thing pissed me off. Nothing I can do about it anyway even if i tell her not to she'll end up doing it anyways.

You don't approve of her stripping, yet she wants to strip (or is at least open to the idea). I think that pretty strongly suggests that this woman is not a good match for you. Better to find someone who meets your standards.

SBW · Apr 14, 2010

cognac said:
I told her I'd lend her $200 to sorta get caught up. I mean it's only 200, I've got money so it's just change to me.

I would guess that this is 200 to begin with - Then she may "need" a lot more. Still, your choice. My adage is "never lend what I'm not prepared to give"

As for the stripping, I've known quite a few over the years. Although I'm no fan of strip clubs (who wants to watch a pal adopt a fake persona and strip?) . All but one of them have been seriously troubled women who were disasters waiting to happen. Also, none of them would have much trouble making the equivalent of a few hundred dollars worth of tips/gifts in even an average night.

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