I was watching this show "Science of Sex Appeal" on the Discovery Channel the other day. I've seen bits of it before but this part stuck out in my mind. They were studying people in a speed dating situation. Basically the conclusions they came up with were this:

1. Guys were giving clear signals when they were interested in the girl, and observers were able to easily pick this up.
2. Women were not giving clear signals when they were interested, and observers were not able to pick them up.
3. Guys tended to think the girls were into them, when in most cases they were not.

This was because the guys were attracted to the appearance of the girls, but the girls were screening for provider type qualities. They would ask a lot of questions (like what is your job, etc). Because they asked a lot of questions, they seemed interested, so the guys assumed they were attracted to them. But it was actually part of the screening process.

However, they said that it's a good thing that guys assume that girls are attracted to them, because otherwise they would likely miss many mating opportunities.

Speed dating is diferent from normal dating, i think they got flaw data.

speed dating is a very "forced" envrionment, so will possibly alter the effects

it may be evolved to think more girls like you than really do, its better for "the species and reproduction" for a male to try and get rejected as sometines the female will accept, than not try at all...

society has now overtaken some of our evolved signals/traits, made some redundent
eg in cave man times the woman wanted a man who was strong and provided food, nowdays the list or requirements fvcking endless (western cultrue makes women more materialistic and have stupidly high requirements aswell - many women expect men who are way above their own level...)

it may be evolved to think more girls like you than really do, its better for "the species and reproduction" for a male to try and get rejected as sometines the female will accept, than not try at all...

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Yeah, they specifically said that, it's better for a guy to try and fail than not to try at all. Sounded just like Pook.

The bit about the women not giving off clear signals also got my interest. A lot of guys find women's signals confusing, or misleading, and I've read a lot of posts saying you can't go by their IOIs. I know I've often been pretty clueless in this regard.

Speed dating is diferent from normal dating, i think they got flaw data.

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I agree that these were just initial impressions formed in an interview-like environment. However, I can't say I was really surprised by the results. What is it you specifically disagree with?

In any case, you have to remember this all just one small slice of the attraction pie, there are a lot more factors going on that can affect the outcome.

zekko said:

I agree that these were just initial impressions formed in an interview-like environment. However, I can't say I was really surprised by the results. What is it you specifically disagree with?

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For me the biggest myth in today world is "Girls pickup if youre interested or not", If that was the case ash*les like me didnt get the girls, hell they would see me by far far away.
Men can fake interest or hide it better than girls.

zekko said:

The bit about the women not giving off clear signals also got my interest. A lot of guys find women's signals confusing, or misleading, and I've read a lot of posts saying you can't go by their IOIs. I know I've often been pretty clueless in this regard.

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Some men ARE just clueless, so some of the observers could well have been among these
IOI's can often vary between each woman, some do YY, others do XX, some do ZZ etc...some may do XX and YY but never ZZ, which may be confusing to some men who look for/only notice ZZ but not the others...

the general tred of IOI's should point to interested or not

and of course some women know how to use IOI's to use men!

A lot of girls will be in to you but won't clearly show it. Why should they? As a guy it's on you to make all the escalations. You're supposed to initiate the conversation, get her number, ask her out on a date, go in for the kiss close etc. For a decently attractive girl, the game is a completely passive process. The only thing she has to do is let it be known that she is available.

That's why I think it's best to ignore IOIs. They're very hard to read. If a girl is talking to you, assume she's interested. Just keep escalating and see what happens. If she's not interested, she'll make it pretty clear. When I look back at my chump days, I realize there were so many potential lays that I didn't pursue because I didn't get clear "IOIs."

For me the biggest myth in today world is "Girls pickup if youre interested or not", If that was the case ash*les like me didnt get the girls, hell they would see me by far far away.
Men can fake interest or hide it better than girls.

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If I follow you right, it sounds like you ARE interested. You're just interested in an f close while making the girl think you're interested in something more, is that what you're saying?

Anyway, I think girls' signals are definitely more subtle than men's. Part of the problem is so many women will flirt just to get attention, so it's hard to tell when they actually want something. As for men, why would they/should they fake interest in a girl? What's their motivation?

The only thing she has to do is let it be known that she is available.

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A lot of the time she doesn't even have to do that. I've seen a lot of infidelity and adultery happen over the years. If a girl is attractive and the guy just wants sex, he often doesn't care if she is "taken" or not. In fact, the forbidden nature of it may make it seem all the more exciting. And a lot of girls who get approached a lot like this are open to the experience.

Its not hard to tell if a girl is into you.

Of course theres guys that are dumb, but with a little experience its not really an issue.

And trying to impress them by showing all of your beta-provider qualities and supplicating interest to them is obviously not helping her get interested in the guys.