finally joined, overcomig my paranoia...

so had date #1 in the middle of last week... had to be out of town until the end of last weekend, but suggested that we should hang again. want to do something this weekend, but am unsure when is the best time to ask out. asked my girl friends, one insists that tuesday is appropriate and wednesday is borderline rude; other insists that tuesday is needy and wednesday is just right.

advice? yes, im probably overthinking this, but part of being dj is having an image about yourself (a certain swagger i guess). im going for the cool and in charge kind of facade.tuesday doesnt communicate that. IMO..

could use some pointers

hopelessguy said:

finally joined, overcomig my paranoia...

so had date #1 in the middle of last week... had to be out of town until the end of last weekend, but suggested that we should hang again. want to do something this weekend, but am unsure when is the best time to ask out. asked my girl friends, one insists that tuesday is appropriate and wednesday is borderline rude; other insists that tuesday is needy and wednesday is just right.

advice? yes, im probably overthinking this, but part of being dj is having an image about yourself (a certain swagger i guess). im going for the cool and in charge kind of facade.tuesday doesnt communicate that. IMO..

could use some pointers

Click to expand...

First of all, stop asking women for advice.
As you can see, you got two completely different answers.

Second, if you are a DJ and you have that "swagger", why are you asking women?

Third, if you are cool and in charge... why are you asking us?

Fourth, a DJ is confident, cool, and in charge no matter what day you ask.

Fifth, my advice is: Ask no later than Thursday evening.

I generally go with a Pre-2 Day Rule. If I ask out for a Saturday, I will ask on Thursday, MAYBE Wednesday. If it's for Sunday... then Thursday/Friday.

Want me to suggest what to do on Date #2 as well?

BTW, if she says NO to going out on a day by saying she is busy or whatever, see if she makes a counter offer, but don't immediately say YES to anything. She might try to test you to see how available you are.

And if you are here telling us you are asking women for advice and not sure when to call her to ask her on a date, I get this feeling that you might be too available already.

Kailex, for the record, you are awesome. your advice is blunt and to the point. people who are trying to relinquish their AFCness need that.

I should clarify that I'm trying to show that I have that swagger. the reality is that im a dump haha, but im woring on that too (im the prize right?)

for date 2 i plan to do something relaxed. already did the coffee thing... am thinking about lunch and enjoying the sunlight outside? i also wanted to show her something that feeds into a particular obsession of hers (to show that i was listening on date #1).

regarding my availability... im at harvard law. exams are soon, so im studying 24/7... aka barely reading the material and chatting with friends online out of pure boredom. so out of boredom, i sought advice from girl friends.

but out of an intense interest not to screw something perfectly good up, i decided to post here. if she agrees with 2nd date, great. if she doesnt, but gives me alternatives, great. if she doesnt, and gives no alternatives, ill try again in a week, and if same result, next. but yeah, if she counteroffers, ill take my time and maybe alter it slightly to show im sitl in charge.

it's tough for both of us. she goes to MIT... and when she's not studying, she's doing work at a lab... so if she's busy it's probably because she actually is.

EDIT: That said, when i asked her out the first time, she did express her willingness to take time off from work to do something. so if she doesnt offer it again, ill assume interest level=low.

Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday are all fine. Monday can seem a bit too keen and Friday can be too late notice.

Having said that though, it shouldn't matter too much if you are awesome and she is into you and you communicate from a place of value rather than a place of neediness.