Hi guys,

I would really need your advise on this one... Recently I have met a gal... she is pretty honest and hot...

She is one of my friend's friend... She has been in my mind from a long time and even she has been respecting a lot 2 me...

This is kinda serious relation we are talking about... we are together and we had decided that lets start with friends and than we will go along with a serious relationship...

She started loving me and she was getting very very close... now she had a bf with whom she had a break up recently... He was very possessive about her nd he used to emotionally blackmail her by cutting his hand and showing that he is very upset, he'll hurt himself if she wont talk to him and blah blah blah wat d f***...

Everything goes well she broke up wid him nd she was very loyal with me...
Suddenly she gets a msg from her friend and she goes upset because her friend might have met that guy and that guy might have emotionally trapped her to convience my gf...

last night we had a horrible discussion about this and my gf goes like... She can't forget her past and she feels that guy will spoil himself because of my gf... So my gf is emotionally blackmailed... And she said she needs sometime to be in a relation with me... She definitely wants 2 be with me but she is not able to give me a pure love and she aint able to concentrate on me that much because everytime she's with me... she thinks about her past...

She said I'll be with you only but lets just spend time together and lets just be friends for sometime and than i'll be your's because she needs more time to come outta him and she doesnt want him anymore...

I am confused now... what should I do?? and how would I behave with her??

Could you please advise me on this...

now she had a bf with whom she had a break up recently...

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In other words, you are the rebound guy. Don't expect to be with her for very long.

She said I'll be with you only but lets just spend time together and lets just be friends for sometime and than i'll be your's because she needs more time to come outta him and she doesnt want him anymore...

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There's two ways women communicate: through verbal language, and action. What she says is just to make you feel better after she hurt your feelings, but her actions clearly indicate she does NOT want to be with you. If she really did want to spend time with you, she wouldn't feel the need to let you go over some suicidal retard.

Time to move on and find a woman who genuinely wants to be with you.

When you're in a real "committed relationship" (i.e. marriage or something equivalent), it's good to be compassionate.

When you're just dating a girl, or choosing whether to date a girl, you MUST be selfish.

There is a lot of drama surrounding this girl, and you are CHOOSING to be a part of it by CHOOSING to date her.

You might want to examine whether this is the best choice you could make.

You may be able to better help her as a friend than as an involved lover.

You know...this is why Rollo and all these guys recommend "plate-spinning", dating multiple girls at once. If you only have one, you get sucked into a relationship early based on the idea of "scarcity", instead of REALLY taking the time to determine whether you want to be with THIS particular girl.

Thanks a lot guys... a bit of confusion... I had a word with her 2day... told her very clearly about the things going on... She was a bit depressed and she has broken up with him completely...

I told her if she wants to be with me, she'll have to be loyal nd should not go back to him anymore....

I also think I sounded a bit desperate because I'm forcing her to meet all the time and I call her up a lotta tyme...

What should I do?? shall I just avoid her?? what should I do when she calls up?

Ohhhhhhhhhh boy.

vivek59234 said:

Thanks a lot guys... a bit of confusion... I had a word with her 2day... told her very clearly about the things going on... She was a bit depressed and she has broken up with him completely...

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Hence, the transition into rebound guy.

I told her if she wants to be with me, she'll have to be loyal nd should not go back to him anymore....

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So you are forcing her into another relationship right away?
So you basically told her something that she might eventually do anyway?

You do know that most of the time, when you tell women something like this... they end up doing it just in SPITE of what you said?

You basically likened her to a dog.

What was her reaction when you said that to her?

I also think I sounded a bit desperate because I'm forcing her to meet all the time and I call her up a lotta tyme...

What should I do?? shall I just avoid her?? what should I do when she calls up?

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Why are you forcing her to meet all the time?
Why are you calling her up all the time?

Are you a really insecure person?
I bet you have absolutely nothing going on in your personal life other than this girl.

And I don't mean just "spinning plates". It just almost seems like your life revolves completely around this girl. Right now you just seem like a hot mess altogether. Read that DJ Bible and the Book of Pook, PLEASE.

I don't know how you have gone from "I want to see her all the time" to "Should I avoid her?".

It doesn't even sound coherent.

Is she THAT much better than the other girls you're dating? If so, how?

Thanks a lot for your replies guys...

Well no ways... I have been dating so many gals since along time.... and believe me most of them are hot...

It's just that she has hurt my ego and I feel like how can she avoid me? and that's wat makes me wonder all the time...

I would say I have been very very desperate in every case though... and that's my weak point... I don't have patience.... And I need to improve on these areas...

I am sure I can be much better like you guys... and I will...

Again thank you so much for your help...

You need something to do to take your mind OFF of women.

Yup sure guys... I'm reading DJ bible