I am sitting here contemplating dumping my girlfriend of 3 months because I am just not feeling it anymore. I honestly don't miss her, and last week when she came over I subconsciously went to kiss her cheek instead of her lips when she came in. she picked up on it, and I pretty much knew right then it was over, but I lied to myself and her the rest of the night. .

Now here is my conundrum, she is a great girl, lets me do what i want, does my laundry, cleans my house without me asking. my friends all like her, etc etc..

I was honestly ready to do it on valentines day, but i thought that would of been cruel.. since then I have trying to make it work, but its just not a good fit..

it seems like whenever a relationship hits about the 3 month mark, I am ready to bail..

its happened over and over for years..

with one exception no relationship has gone past 3 months for over 10 years now.


I feel like I am chasing something that isnt out there.. that "feeling" you get when you meet the right person..

I am happy being single, and almost prefer it..

anywho..

does anyone else seem to chew through woman chasing that ideal fit only to keep coming up empty?

or am I just wired to prefer being single?

do you guys feel the sociological pressure to be in a relationships? especially in the 30+ crowd?

I am by no means a player.. I just know what i do and dont want, and I dont feel like I should settle.. but my friends seem to think you need to settle at some point.. and that I am being too picky or something..

and I also feel guilty breaking up with this girl, because I know its going to crush her. is that normal?

/emo

I see so many similarities here to my own life. I'm 34 and my last serious relationship (about 9 months) was over two years ago. The one before (a year) was seven years before that.
It's amazing how many men are serial 'three month daters', myself included. I dunno why, it just seems to reach a critical point at three months.
I've just broken it off with a girl who - much like yourself - worshipped the ground I walked on. Cleaning, cooking, amazingly dirty uninhibited sex...but she was an absolute troll after she had a few drinks. To me that was the dealbreaker. I just couldn't get my head around it.
I broke up with another chick last year (interestingly, after about three months) because she said 'basgetti' instead of 'spaghetti'. Shallow? Maybe. But, like you, why should we settle just because society dictates that we should find a girl and settle down?
I've taken the mindset that I will be single, I will be happily single and to hell with anyone who thinks less of me for it. I will settle down with a woman who ticks ALL of my boxes, not just some.
Be free, live your life, f*ck women and enjoy the freedom while you can.

Society created the label "player."

Truth be told, relationships are constructs that involve a lot of "limiting beliefs" if you let society tell you what your ideal of relationships are supposed to be.

There is no rule that strictly says you must be in an exclusive relationship in order to be happy. It's entirely up to you.

It sounds like you have rushed from one girlfriend to the next and have continued repeating the pattern. Saying this, ask yourself if each time your dating a new girl if you're thinking "she would make a good girlfriend, right?" and checking off your checklist of qualities to see if she fits the bill...

Perhaps you should simply enjoy spinning plates and not jump into these serious relationships that cause you to feel claustrophobic.

Dear Demodulate,
You sound perfectly normal to me,but I am probably a bit twisted.....What did Kipling say? "The more you have known of the others the less you will stick to one"....Perfectly true,I went through a couple of long patches like you are going through,seemed relationships were lucky to last eight weeks....The buzz is in the first heady,euphoric days of courtship,how sweet,the meeting the seduction and the pleasures of a New Lady.......How will she like it,what juicy stories has she to tell you,the sheer pleasure,like some Arctic summer,of being adored...Aah but it doesn't last long does it?soon it's back to lifes cold realities...The wish to be constantly chasing this pleasure seems quite reasonable,for most it occurs so seldom in their lives,for the majority,maybe once or twice even.....Just lately for the last three and a half years I have been mainly hanging out of a Chinese Lady,she is a Dancer And I would hate to lose her,finding someone who fvucks on demand is a lot easier than finding a good dance partner.