If you look through the DJ boot camp, the bible, etc... you will notice that there is a lot of attention given to approaching strangers, and not just women. I think that the issue should be dove into deeper, because at the heart of cold approaches are two different forms of fear and not just one, and these compound on top of one another and make your game much more difficult. The first, obviously, is merely the fear of approaching women; the second, and where I want to focus now, is on the fear of strangers, or what I like to call Stranger Danger.
I think everyone here has noticed how strangers treat one another, as we all come into contact with strangers on a daily basis and so we can see it personally unfold. You might notice that people are actually scared of making eye contact, greeting each other, smiling or just in general of acknowledging each others' presence. Why is that? Well, it has a lot to do with the society in which we live and the alienation it creates; basically, the society in which we live conditions us profoundly to not notice the social aspect of our entire society. Capitalism breeds individualism, and attempts to sweep the social relations which actually keep our society working under the rug. This divergence between man in his unalienated state as a social being and the individualism and anti-social nature aspect of capitalism causes a lot of confusion in how we are supposed to deal with one another on a daily basis. This obviously manifests itself most potently in the relations between strangers.
So what is a stranger? A stranger is someone that you don't know, to put it simply. It is basically anyone that is outside of your "circle" (your circle includes pretty much all your family, friends and coworkers, whether you love them or hate them). Anthropologically speaking, your brain is conditioned to view strangers as possible threats, and so it is natural to feel some kind of intimidation or fear of them. You don't know them, and you don't know anyone that does, so they could either be great people or murderers or whatever; your brain simply doesn't know, and so it always errs on the side of caution by giving you suspicion and fear.
Nowadays, obviously, this kind of thinking is pointless; we don't need to live our daily lives in constant fear that others are going to hurt or kill us. The state protects us from that. So this type of thinking is completely useless and counterproductive in developing the confident, independent state of being that everyone on this forum desires.
The DJ Bootcamp has you start with greeting strangers for the specific reason that it is much easier to approach a complete stranger than it is to approach an attractive woman that is also a complete stranger; the former only has one level of intimidation attached to it whereas the latter has two. So your journey will start with tearing down this first wall and then progressing on to the latter.
What are some ways to help do this? Obviously, you can only get over such a fear by experience, and by showing your subconscious self that it is a completely unfounded fear. Hence in the DJ Boot Camp the requirements for eye contact, greeting and having conversation with strangers. Experience is the only tried and true method of getting rid of this fear. However, I have found that there is a way of thinking that you can implement when trying to get over this fear that will make it much easier to do.
How you should be thinking
First you have to realize that this is all in your head. The distinction between everyone you know and everyone you don't (strangers) is purely arbitrary and a construction of your mind. Everyone you know now was at one time in your life a complete stranger. Some of those people will even go back to being strangers in the future. Personal relations change - they start and they end. Everything is of a transitory character, and while our brain is not unconsciously wired to think in that manner, we can consciously force ourselves to recognize that. Every single person you interact with on a daily basis has the chance of becoming your life long friend or being resigned to complete ignorance. You choose who you bring into your life and who you let go of.
Second, everybody on earth is somebody's friend. Your friends have friends that you don't know, and those friends have friends as well, ad infinitum. Everyone then has a possibility of being related to one another through these relations. I can't tell you how many times I've met people that I didn't know at all and turned out to be like a friend's best friend.
I think this second point is the most powerful, because I've found that when I think like that I realize that every stranger I come into contact with could be my friend, and so I attempt to consciously force my brain to consider them as already my friend. If you stop thinking about strangers as this mysterious "other" and start realizing that they're just normal people with the same feelings and insecurities about others as you, and start realizing that these people are probably just as cool as your friends, and probably would be your friend if you got to know them, then it takes a lot of pressure off of you and really helps you break down that barrier and get over the ridiculous fear of strangers.
Stranger Danger is in your head!
I think everyone here has noticed how strangers treat one another, as we all come into contact with strangers on a daily basis and so we can see it personally unfold. You might notice that people are actually scared of making eye contact, greeting each other, smiling or just in general of acknowledging each others' presence. Why is that? Well, it has a lot to do with the society in which we live and the alienation it creates; basically, the society in which we live conditions us profoundly to not notice the social aspect of our entire society. Capitalism breeds individualism, and attempts to sweep the social relations which actually keep our society working under the rug. This divergence between man in his unalienated state as a social being and the individualism and anti-social nature aspect of capitalism causes a lot of confusion in how we are supposed to deal with one another on a daily basis. This obviously manifests itself most potently in the relations between strangers.
So what is a stranger? A stranger is someone that you don't know, to put it simply. It is basically anyone that is outside of your "circle" (your circle includes pretty much all your family, friends and coworkers, whether you love them or hate them). Anthropologically speaking, your brain is conditioned to view strangers as possible threats, and so it is natural to feel some kind of intimidation or fear of them. You don't know them, and you don't know anyone that does, so they could either be great people or murderers or whatever; your brain simply doesn't know, and so it always errs on the side of caution by giving you suspicion and fear.
Nowadays, obviously, this kind of thinking is pointless; we don't need to live our daily lives in constant fear that others are going to hurt or kill us. The state protects us from that. So this type of thinking is completely useless and counterproductive in developing the confident, independent state of being that everyone on this forum desires.
The DJ Bootcamp has you start with greeting strangers for the specific reason that it is much easier to approach a complete stranger than it is to approach an attractive woman that is also a complete stranger; the former only has one level of intimidation attached to it whereas the latter has two. So your journey will start with tearing down this first wall and then progressing on to the latter.
What are some ways to help do this? Obviously, you can only get over such a fear by experience, and by showing your subconscious self that it is a completely unfounded fear. Hence in the DJ Boot Camp the requirements for eye contact, greeting and having conversation with strangers. Experience is the only tried and true method of getting rid of this fear. However, I have found that there is a way of thinking that you can implement when trying to get over this fear that will make it much easier to do.
How you should be thinking
First you have to realize that this is all in your head. The distinction between everyone you know and everyone you don't (strangers) is purely arbitrary and a construction of your mind. Everyone you know now was at one time in your life a complete stranger. Some of those people will even go back to being strangers in the future. Personal relations change - they start and they end. Everything is of a transitory character, and while our brain is not unconsciously wired to think in that manner, we can consciously force ourselves to recognize that. Every single person you interact with on a daily basis has the chance of becoming your life long friend or being resigned to complete ignorance. You choose who you bring into your life and who you let go of.
Second, everybody on earth is somebody's friend. Your friends have friends that you don't know, and those friends have friends as well, ad infinitum. Everyone then has a possibility of being related to one another through these relations. I can't tell you how many times I've met people that I didn't know at all and turned out to be like a friend's best friend.
I think this second point is the most powerful, because I've found that when I think like that I realize that every stranger I come into contact with could be my friend, and so I attempt to consciously force my brain to consider them as already my friend. If you stop thinking about strangers as this mysterious "other" and start realizing that they're just normal people with the same feelings and insecurities about others as you, and start realizing that these people are probably just as cool as your friends, and probably would be your friend if you got to know them, then it takes a lot of pressure off of you and really helps you break down that barrier and get over the ridiculous fear of strangers.
Stranger Danger is in your head!