Little sister is a slut

[Proselytiser]

So I housesat for my family a few weeks ago and had a few friends over for a drink. My 16 year old sister decided to join in and quickly gets blasted, I'm picking her vomit out of the sink and ****. She tries to steal my friend's anxiety medication - valium - according to him 'talking about it like a hard drug or something'. And it was obvious to everyone present that she was trying to seduce him. Later I found out from him that she told him 'I'm not a virgin' and 'let's go inside'. He rejects her of course.

It later comes out from my other littler sister that they had an argument about sex - where 16 yro proudly declares herself a 'slut', that sluts are good, that sleeping with strangers is fun, and gives a few examples...

Now this has all come back to me and I'm asking the fathers here - how would you want it broken to you that your daughter is a slut? She is also in cognitive behavioural therapy atm - for depression. The girl needs help

[Crow]

Do you like to sleep with strangers? This seems to be a little bit hypocritical to judge her for behavior that is normative for us.

[Julius_Seizeher]

Being a brother sucks. You feel like a father but have zero authority, and whatever you tell the little b!tch, she's going to do the exact opposite.

Sisters can bring out even the most well-hidden Save-a-Ho tendencies. We remember them 4 years old and watching Disney movies, how can she be this big slut now?

With my sister I had to learn to put Capn Save-a-Ho in the ground.

[Rollo Tomassi]

I'd be less concerned about her being a slut and more concerned with her being an alcoholic / borderline prescription drug abuser at 16. She's got deeper issues than just wanting to get laid. If all she was was a slut, I'd say something different.

[Colossus]

Just curious, why did you let your 16 year-old sister get drunk with a bunch of your friends?

[Pickupmilitia]

In 2 more years I'll be able to hit it!

[squirrels]

Having sex here and there at 16 is one thing. Just giving it up to everyone, everywhere, is something else entirely.

While I'm all for sexual open-mindedness, 16 is too young to just be "slvtting it up". What would concern me more than that is that she is demonstrating self-destructive behavior...drinking to excess, taking prescription meds recreationally (with alcohol, with no regard for synergy), and I suspect she's probably having sex irresponsibly, without protection.

And what are your parents doing about this crap? This is THEIR job, not yours.

[jophil28]

I'd be less concerned about her being a slut and more concerned with her being an alcoholic / borderline prescription drug abuser at 16. She's got deeper issues than just wanting to get laid. If all she was was a slut, I'd say something different.

This ^^.

[Slickster]

Tell your buddies about your concerns and ask them for some help.

Next time you are together with your buddies and she is there start up a conversation with your buddies about some girl in high school who was a big slut.

Get your buddies to go along and agree that she is a total waste of time and a real loser now. "Too bad she was such a slvt when she was younger cuz she was actually a cool chick at one time. Now the only guys who will touch her are ________ " (Insert the name of some well known douchebags here.) Call her a skank, dirty girl, *****, etc.

These might be a good comments to make her aware that cool guys like you and your buddies aren't interested in slvts.

Whether any of this is true or not doesn't matter. She's your sister. Do whatever you can to keep her off the pole.

Every young kid just wants to appear more grown up than they are when hanging around an older crew. She's obviously had some crappy influences up until now.

It is you, your parents and your whole families job to provide those positive influences. If she looks up to you and your friends then you have a good opportunity to set a good example. If you have some cool female friends that can help then even better.

[Proselytiser]

Just curious, why did you let your 16 year-old sister get drunk with a bunch of your friends?

She comes outside, sits down and starts drinking. It is impossible to get her to do anything she doesn't want to. I managed to get her inside on the false pretence of getting her a drink so that I could ask her to stay inside because she was embarrassing me and herself and creeping out my friends, she just shouted nonsense at me for 10 minutes and went back outside.

@Crow - my own sexual behaviour is not this ridiculous

@Julius - this doesn't seem like normal slutty behaviour. as rollo + jo pointed out the bigger issue is alcohol/drugs. sluttiness is just another thing she carries far beyond the bounds of normalcy

@squirrels - my parents have no clue this is going on. they still think she is going to slumber parties with her girlfriends

@Slickster - she is the kind that would just decide we are all losers if we opposed her viewpoint. i don't think it was a case of trying to look cool in front of older people, these same ideas of hers about sex and alcohol come out in conversations with my 14 yro sister. A good thing though, I guess is that my girlfriend does have a big sister sort of relationship going with her

Thanks for everyone's help

[fertileTurtle]

My sister was a slut when she was 16-20, she straightened out and is now your typical boring housewife. At least her slut friends would let me bang them, now they all want me to go to church with them.

[fertileTurtle]

These might be a good comments to make her aware that cool guys like you and your buddies aren't interested in slvts.

Oh if that were only the truth. I think after a while she might start to call you a "liar."

[Proselytiser]

The main thing I am asking for though is how to break this to my parents. I can't imagine being a father and learning this about my daughter. I know there are parents here and I would greatly appreciate any input you have on this matter

[Slickster]

Oh if that were only the truth. I think after a while she might start to call you a "liar."

Well I work with teenagers for a living and can tell you that they are extremely easy to influence. Turning problem kids around happens all the time where I work. They are surrounded by positive role models and other kids who buy into the system.

Maybe the OP should just ignore his sister and pray that she only bangs a few of his friends and ends up a church goer like your sis huh?

[iqqi]

The problem is that it is "in" and "trendy" now to be sexually open aka slutty. If you don't have sex, then you are a prude, or playing games. If you make a guy wait past 3 dates then you are nexted. Sound familiar?

Some girls don't have enough self esteem or inner values to respect themselves and tell a random joe to fvck off when they need to.

[Trader]

One of the hallmarks of masculinity is consistency in your values

So do you like sluts? Would you bang a slut?

If you say yes, then why are you now concerned that your sister, gf, etc is a slut?

Just like the feminists, you can't have it both ways. If you are banging girls left and right (basically encourgaging slutty behavior from girls) then don't bother saying anything if your sister turns into one.

You either stand for sexual purity or you don't.

[Luthor Rex]

It later comes out from my other littler sister that they had an argument about sex - where 16 yro proudly declares herself a 'slut', that sluts are good, that sleeping with strangers is fun, and gives a few examples...

So... can I have her phone number?

:up:



Awww, come on you knew someone was going to say it.

[Proselytiser]

One of the hallmarks of masculinity is consistency in your values

So do you like sluts? Would you bang a slut?

If you say yes, then why are you now concerned that your sister, gf, etc is a slut?

Just like the feminists, you can't have it both ways. If you are banging girls left and right (basically encourgaging slutty behavior from girls) then don't bother saying anything if your sister turns into one.

You either stand for sexual purity or you don't.

I am consistent in my values

You and iqqi make it seem like a case of either you have sex with barely anyone (sexual purity?) or with everyone (sexual impurity?), with no in-betweens. It isn't black and white. iqqi implies that either you wait past 3 dates or you are as slutty as they come. I'm not her therapist so I won't argue this with her. And I don't see where she gets her logic from, blaming men for women that misbehave. After all, I thought feminist women were supposed to be 'empowered'.

[horaholic]

One of the hallmarks of masculinity is consistency in your values

So do you like sluts? Would you bang a slut?

If you say yes, then why are you now concerned that your sister, gf, etc is a slut?

Just like the feminists, you can't have it both ways. If you are banging girls left and right (basically encourgaging slutty behavior from girls) then don't bother saying anything if your sister turns into one.

You either stand for sexual purity or you don't.


Editing my post because its x-mas, and it was a little harsh. Seriously, though, that is some pretty ridiculous, feminist crap.

[backbreaker]

there is nothing you can do. lead by example.


WTF, you have a party with drinks, drugs and hopefully sex and you tell your sister this is wrong?

you got to let her live her life. for better or for worse. if she wants to use drugs, you can send her to a pyhc and see if that helps but there is little you can do if she is hellbent on abusing sex or drugs until she's ready to do soemthing about it herself.

While I'm all for sexual open-mindedness, 16 is too young to just be "slvtting it up".

is it? Go to the high school forum and tell the 16 year old boys there that it's wrong to fvck as many hot *****es as we can. oh we give high fives for that i forgot. that's the whole fvcking point they are here!

I agree with trader on this one 100%

when I was 16 I fvcked probably 20 different girls. I was a man***** and was damn proud of it. in fact, some of the best times I ever had was when I was 16. sneaking inside houses and sneaking inside and outside of windows at 4 in the morning. Fvcking in the back seats of cars at school. fvcking my GF's friends when they were sleep lol.. I gotta tell that story one day. convincing a girl to blow me and my friends becuase she likes me. ah the times.

I'm not condonding what she is doing whatsoever, dont' get me worng.. I'm not even sure if what I did was "right".. but I had fun, and I eventually grew out of fvcking every thing that walks.but who the fvck are we to come to come to a freking internet forum, with millions of posts decided on the art of getting as many women to drop their pants as quickly and as many times as possible.. then get mad when a woman has the NERVE, the freaking NERVE to want to do what we want to do.

[mrRuckus]

We gotta get this thing out of our minds that everyone is created equal and that everyone is subject to the expectations and standards.

[horaholic]

Exactly. A guy slvtting around is doing what nature has programmed him to do. A girl slvtting around is doing what freinds, and media programs her to do.

it is an accomplishment for a guy to bed many women. It is an accomplishment for a female to refrain from bedding many men.

I dont like, and have little respect for slvts. Just because I might bang them doesnt mean I condone their behaviour. I would encourage my sister, or daughter to lead a normal and healthy love life.

[Stagger Lee]

Exactly. And the problem is just because a female doesn't sleep with you within 3 dates or x dates, doesn't mean she isn't a slvt. She could very well just not be that interested in you or maybe playing the good girl ruse on you while she is having sex with other guys in the meantime.

[Trader]

Exactly. A guy slvtting around is doing what nature has programmed him to do. A girl slvtting around is doing what freinds, and media programs her to do.

it is an accomplishment for a guy to bed many women. It is an accomplishment for a female to refrain from bedding many men.

I dont like, and have little respect for slvts. Just because I might bang them doesnt mean I condone their behaviour. I would encourage my sister, or daughter to lead a normal and healthy love life.


You are condoning slutty behavior with your slutty behavior - it takes 2 to tango

That's why STR8UP was a joke

He kept talking about how women are amoral

I get that

We all get that

But then he starts acting all *amoral* himself to combat this and then continues to complain about women

This a classic example of: 'Oh uh...don't do as I do, do as I say'

I'm not saying you can't be a player, all I'm saying is keep it REAL. If you're a player then you better accept sluts as well.

Guys lead, girls follow.

[backbreaker]

have you been to a club recently and seen how many women are leading "non slutty productive lives"?

like trader said, keep it REAL. women like to fvck. it is what it is.

you are better off doing what my dad did to me.. not preaching how immoral sex, lots of it is, but saying hey, you are going to do what you are going to do, but if you do it, this is how you do it, SAFELY! wrap up at all times.

your "respect" level has little to do with a woman's hormones. she's not going to say I am not going to fvck you be uase the guys on sosuave won't respect me and well I can't have that. women like to have sex as much as men. **** it's fun. I frankely don't see the big deal.

you never hold someone else to a standard that you will not hold yourself to. male or female.

[Stagger Lee]

You are condoning slutty behavior with your slutty behavior - it takes 2 to tango

That's why STR8UP was a joke

He kept talking about how women are amoral

I get that

We all get that

But then he starts acting all *amoral* himself to combat this and then continues to complain about women

This a classic example of: 'Oh uh...don't do as I do, do as I say'

I'm not saying you can't be a player, all I'm saying is keep it REAL. If you're a player then you better accept sluts as well.

Guys lead, girls follow.

Well I think what your saying might have some applicability in the big picture. But if you think women are actually following just any men's lead or just any type of lead, then I have to say that you are gullible. You just think women are following your lead but they're really doing whatever they want to do and following the lead of several guys they choose to.

Do you really think any woman is following your lead personally? I seriously doubt you and in this day and age are really leading women any where. At best they are probably just playing the good girl ruse on you and when you aren't watching slvting it up with some other guy(s). You can blame all men and not the women for their own behavior, but I blame both. Also you are saying to be honest and slvt it up with slvts as if it's that easy to tell, but women can continue to operate by deception.

Either women are wholly responsible for their own behavior independent of men, or women are not sovereign adults. You must pick one. You can't have it both ways.

[Trader]

Well I think what your saying might have some applicability in the big picture. But if you think women are actually following just any men's lead or just any type of lead, then I have to say that you are gullible. You just think women are following your lead but they're really doing whatever they want to do and following the lead of several guys they choose to.

Do you really think any woman is following your lead personally? I seriously doubt you and in this day and age are really leading women any where. At best they are probably just playing the good girl ruse on you and when you aren't watching slvting it up with some other guy(s).

If a girl respects you, there's a higher chance she will follow your lead.

FYI: just because she dates you, doesn't mean she respects you. Just because she sleeps with you, doesn't necessarily mean she respects you either.

You can blame all men and not the women for their own behavior, but I blame both. Also you are saying to be honest and slvt it up with slvts as if it's that easy to tell, but women can continue to operate by deception.

I'm not blaming anyone. All I'm saying is it is laughable for a man to disparage sluts, and then slut it up himself.

I'm not blaming anyone - I am just making an observation that a man's license to slut it up, automatically gives the girl (in her mind) the license to slut it up as well. There are no two ways around it.

That's why I have had girls complain to me: 'Hey it's not fair, if men sleep around, they are players, if we do it we are sluts!' And so then she proceeds to get her sluttiness on.

Girls look to guys to set the moral standard. When guys have no standards, girls follow them into the abyss.

That's why this thread is pointless - we men created the mess ourselves, and now we are complaining and moaning about it. How girly.


Either women are wholly responsible for their own behavior independent of men, or women are not sovereign adults. You must pick one. You can't have it both ways.

Girls are responsible for their own behavior but they are highly influenced by men

[Proselytiser]

If she 'followed my lead' she would not be like she is. I at least have some sort of selection process going on...

[backbreaker]

i'm sure the op's friend is doable. who says she has no selection process.
agreed this is a very pointless and silly thread.

[Stagger Lee]

If a girl respects you, there's a higher chance she will follow your lead.

That's just it that is a big "If". Women don't respect men much anymore to begin with and what do women tend to respect? Not the nice, moral guy who wants just a relationship with one girl, I'll tell you that. Therein lies the problem. This is women's "fault" not the men who act immoral/amoral.

FYI: just because she dates you, doesn't mean she respects you. Just because she sleeps with you, doesn't necessarily mean she respects you either.

True but just because she doesn't sleep with you or date you that sure doesn't mean she respects you either. And it doesn't mean she isn't dating and sleeping with other guy and respecting players and jerks.



I'm not blaming anyone. All I'm saying is it is laughable for a man to disparage sluts, and then slut it up himself.

It's not really laughable at all. As I explained the same men who are disparaging slvts and slvting it up themselves, may respect a non-slvt and be in a commited relationship if they could find a girl like that. Besides to hold men and women to identical standards is sort of a feminist idea.



I'm not blaming anyone - I am just making an observation that a man's license to slut it up, automatically gives the girl (in her mind) the license to slut it up as well. There are no two ways around it.

But you are saying tit for tat is right. Why don't women follow a second option that I've been alluding to? Why don't women ever pick guys who don't slvt it up and are really into them? That would be a novel concept, eh? But they generally do not.

That's why I have had girls complain to me: 'Hey it's not fair, if men sleep around, they are players, if we do it we are sluts!' And so then she proceeds to get her sluttiness on.

This is just women wanting every preceived advantage of men but none of the disadvantages. This is just women wanting to be slvts in the first place and providing justification later. When do you hear women say, "Hey it's not fair, if men fight in wars, they are hereos, if we do it we are masculine! And so she then proceeds to enlist in the Marines. It's a bogus female argument.


Girls look to guys to set the moral standard. When guys have no standards, girls follow them into the abyss.

But first off you are contradicting yourself. Men do have moral standards that they don't want a relationship with a slvt. Has that really stopped most women from being slvts or picking a man for a relationship? No! But what you are saying is all men should refuse slvts (and basically do women's job), and that will fix them. It just doesn't work because a woman will play the good girl ruse, have sex with you, dump you and play the ruse on the next moral guy.


That's why this thread is pointless - we men created the mess ourselves, and now we are complaining and moaning about it. How girly.

That's an unproven conclusion based on my above arguments. Women created this mess. Most feminist were women. The government and some men allowed it, but the main point is it is what women pushed for and said they demanded.



Girls are responsible for their own behavior but they are highly influenced by men


Well it's a 2-way street. Men are probably more influenced by women than the other way around. You could say this is not how it is supposed to be, but women have always had influence and manuipulated men to varying degrees throughout history. Bottom line is both sexes and each individual is mostly responsible for their own behavior. If women are so influencable by "bad" men like you are suggesting, then they need to be under the authority of their fathers. Just try to control your teenage/young adult daughter and see how that works.

[fertileTurtle]

Maybe the OP should just ignore his sister and pray that she only bangs a few of his friends and ends up a church goer like your sis huh?

Kids are dumb and they will learn in time, so don't sweat the small stuff. So what? She likes to slut around, she'll learn in time it's not good for her. All these people trying to keep kids from experimenting forget that they are old enough to make their own decisions, even though some of those decisions are mistakes. If you coddle people, they turn out to be morons. Sure you give positive input, but stop trying to be her mom. Her parents are the ones who make those kinds of decisions. Leave your nose out of her business and she will respect you for the rest of your life. My sister and me are inseparable. No one comes between us. I will kill for her, so don't tell me that I was wrong for doing what her parents were too dumb to do: Let her make her own mistakes, so she can own her life and realize she was dumb.

[fertileTurtle]

Well I work with teenagers for a living and can tell you that they are extremely easy to influence. Turning problem kids around happens all the time where I work. They are surrounded by positive role models and other kids who buy into the system.?


And I also worked with troubled teens when I was in my early 20s and I understand that some of them just need some positive insight and others are just bad. You have to let them live out their mistakes in order for them to find themselves as people. If not, they will be following a fake system of rules that your dumb arse implemented into their brainwashed impressive skulls.

I told them that if they wanted to hurt themselves, that I would not stop them, but If I gave them a piece of equipment to use, I would tell them what to do with it and how to stay safe. It's all in their motivations. If you see their motivations change, then you move in and help turn their hearts quickly.

I worked on a young man who hated God and was making some really dumb mistakes in life. He was a super over achiever and was strong in mind and body. Most everyone liked him and all the women and girls gave him attention (not really all, but a good bit). You had to be smart with him to get him to pay attention. You also had to be down with what he liked to do. He was very strong so I had to keep my old arse in shape and was a beast too, but he was still clearly better than me in most ways. I was able to ask him some thoughtful but concise questions that where almost like riddles. He was having his mind changed quickly with those questions, because they were all about him. I finally got him to agree that:

He may not believe in God, but
-He may be wrong about that, because no one can know with absolute certainty.
-And he may be right too, so what? He needs to survive as a human first above everything else, so he should at least take responsibility for his life.

Other lessons as important were learned of course, and he is know in college and is doing very well for himself as an individual. His older brother is on drugs know and it looks like their roles are reversed.

The point is, I was not trying to change him in the least bit. I would warn him of the hazards of some of his choices, but I was not there to make him like me in any way. I just wanted him to try and see the difference he could make in his life if he tried.

[Slickster]

So how exactly is a brother or father supposed to be ok with his sister/daughter being a slvt?

fertileTurtle you speak as though you have it all figured out but wait until you are a father dude.

If slvttiness was socially acceptable then we wouldn't be having this conversation. It isn't though. Slvts are treated with disrespect and looked down upon. So how can you be ok with men disrespecting your sister?

I just went to a mini highschool reunion over the holidays. Many of the slvtty girls from 20 years ago still carry their reputations around with them.

Many guys look at a young slvt and have no problem with her behaviour. How do these guys view a 40 something slvt? Nasty!

If a young girl builds a reputation as a slvt it's not like she can just erase it.

In the long run I think my sister would respect me a lot more for trying to guide her away from something she might regret in the future. Rather than just let her make her mistakes with an "oh well" attitude.

Every young person rebels at some point. Most times you don't figure out how much of an idiot you were until you reach your mid 30's.

I experienced a lot of personal growth in my early 20's and then again in my mid-30's. It is something you realize after the fact. In the meantime you walk around thinking you know it all.

[Veridin]

Do you like to sleep with strangers? This seems to be a little bit hypocritical to judge her for behavior that is normative for us.

You get it wrong. Having sex is all right. When you are mature, you know what you are doing, it is not for status and because "my friends do it", and you have your own platform to stand on. Being a kid who sleeps around because it is cool and gives her status, is not okay. A sixteen-year-old saying she is "proud" to be a slut doesn't know what she is doing.

Kids are dumb and they will learn in time, so don't sweat the small stuff. So what? She likes to slut around, she'll learn in time it's not good for her. All these people trying to keep kids from experimenting forget that they are old enough to make their own decisions, even though some of those decisions are mistakes. If you coddle people, they turn out to be morons.

So family looking after each other is "coddling"? A sixteen-year-old kid thinking she is an adult because she hit puberty, thinking it is cool to be a slut because young MTV stars act like *****s, should not get any advice from her parents and older brother who know life far more than she does? Perhaps you will think differently when you have kids some day.

[speakeasy]

Of course there's different implications for a man sleeping around versus a woman. If a pregnancy arises, it's the woman that's going to be stuck with the consequences. Look how many young single moms are out there these days. From just that perspective it's not simply not smart for a women to want to slvt around.

Btw, Backbreaker, I thought you said back in the day you were an overweight AFC that suffered from oneitis? If you got 20 notches before graduating high school it doesn't sound like you were having any problems. Hell my notch count upon graduation was ZERO.

[Stagger Lee]

Of course there's different implications for a man sleeping around versus a woman. If a pregnancy arises, it's the woman that's going to be stuck with the consequences. Look how many young single moms are out there these days. From just that perspective it's not simply not smart for a women to want to slvt around.



I mostly agree but the way I would phrase it is, "If a pregnancy arises, and the slvt has been sleeping around, it's the man that could be stuck with the consequences of some other guy's b-word child. Mama's baby, papa's maybe.