Background:

I was dating this girl for two months. In the beginning everything went very well. We were having a lot of fun and the conversations really flowed. We would hang out once or twice a week and I would do my best to avoid boring dates, but the occasional movie would pop up once in a while. I slept over a few times and I felt things were really moving along.

Her interest level seemed higher than mine in the beginning. She was eager to hang out with me and always wondered if I was free to do anything during the weekend. Her interest quickly dropped though in a blink of an eye. I honestly don't know how it happened, but I must have fvcked up somewhere down the line. Some insight here would be nice. She became so cold and unresponsive to the point where I had to confront her about it. We were never exclusive, but she was the only girl I was really going for during the two months. I didn't want to be the one to bring anything up, but at times it would feel as if I was talking to a brick wall. I didn't want to spend any more time with a girl who didn't seem like she was even there so I did confront her this past Saturday.

To make long story short...we got to talking and this is how it basically went down. She said, "I don't know what I want." and as soon as she said that the LJBF alarm went off in my head and sure enough she follows with, "I still want to be friends." I told her that being friends would not work out and that was the end of the conversation.

I have not talked to her since Saturday. Following that conversation I deleted her from my phone, e-mail, everything that I could use to get in contact with her. We share a university class and the last time it meets is tomorrow. I sit next to her and I would move, but I enjoy talking to the people around me. If she doesn't like it she could move herself. I plan on being civil with her but I will not go out of my way to make conversation with her. I will only have to see her for one more hour tomorrow and then I'll hoefully never see her again.

Now to my main problem...

I was eating dinner with two of my friends tonight when I got a text from her. I knew it was her because I recognized the number She asked me when this major assignment we have been working on for the past several weeks was due. I kind of laughed when I read it because she knows damn well the answer to her own question. The due dates are posted online and she is the kind of girl to normally get her assignments done a few days early. The assignment in question is actually due tomorrow.

I have not responded to her text. I don't plan on it. I don't want to think about her anymore.

I probably already know the answer to this question but I am interested in what you guys think.

Was this just an excuse to get in contact with me? If so, why ask such a dumb question?

The thing is she has other people in the class she could ask, but she asked me.

I know I shouldn't care so much about what she is thinking, but to be honest I cared for this girl quite a bit. Everything was going great until it seemed like she fell off the face of the earth. My behavior did not change much. I always remained the same silly, kind of goofy guy I always have been around her. Whatever.

The best part of this though? It gives me an opportunity to ask out this new chick tomorrow She seems to be much more fun and exciting just from her personality. It could be a good thing I ended it with this previous chick after all.

I would say it was an excuse to get in contact with you.... and the reason for it being stupid/simple is for that fact is... its easy for you to answer which she probably thinks you will, and thus by returning the text she could progress a convo out of it... hell even ask you what you did in it etc etc....

my two cents

Wow...it seems this is the time of year for women to flake out. I always heard about this seasonal depression thing, but thought it was bullshyte. I think women become depressed easier than guys for no reason, or maybe it's because their life is playing out like the fairy tales they're force fed in books and movies their whole lives.

Anyway, I think it's totally up to you. If you want to be cordial just text back the due date and thats it. Or keep doing what your doing and cut off contact.

My ex and I just started talking again and I'm trying to flirt and get back in but I should have stuck to my guns and not contacted her. Oh well we live and learn, but this is going to be a choice you make. If you already have another girl ready to go, then escalate that and see what happens. You're young and you have a bunch of girls around you go for it.

I don't think you did anything wrong from how you described it. Usually when girls go cold extremely fast in early dating and pull the "i don't know what i want" and the man has been fun and casual about the dating, that means she ran into someone she either went out with before, or wanted to and didn't have the opportunity. Sometimes it's just cold feet but when it happens around Xmas or Spring Break....

This happens around the holidays quite a bit with people visiting/vacationing and, of course, it doesn't usually work out like they thought. So, they don't completely cut off all contact with the guy they were going out with and they'll start it up again after the holiday as if nothing happened.

Even if that isn't what is going on, she went completely cold so you need a different girl anyway ASAP.

I would suggest you don't even bother to reply to the texts. You see her in class anyway.

Usually when girls go cold extremely fast in early dating and pull the "i don't know what i want" and the man has been fun and casual about the dating, that means she ran into someone she either went out with before, or wanted to and didn't have the opportunity.

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I didn't want to date this girl just for casual purposes. I didn't tell her what my intentions were but I was sexual from the beginning. I kiss closed on the first date. I actually wanted to hang out with her instead of just calling her up for some ass. I don't know for certain if she did or didn't meet someone else. If she did and had a change of heart about me so quickly then screw her.

Upside said:

I didn't want to date this girl just for casual purposes. I didn't tell her what my intentions were but I was sexual from the beginning. I kiss closed on the first date. I actually wanted to hang out with her instead of just calling her up for some ass. I don't know for certain if she did or didn't meet someone else. If she did and had a change of heart about me so quickly then screw her.

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I meant "casual" as in "laid back", "not pushy" or "not up her ass all the time" like most guys do.

It's my fault for the confusion. I can see how it could easily be read that way. It wasn't clear at all.

It looks like you'll be quite the catch for a good woman that comes your way. Don't get discouraged!

this is just one of her jedi mind tricks to try to get you to respond. Girls imo are born with manipulative traits and that question is probably one of the many tricks she's tried to pull on you. just ignore it.

Just remember not to come off bitter. Maintain a dignified dissinterested mindset. Stay confident, and hit that new HB, as well as others. Go out... it's a festive time of the year in the bars, and you will enjoy yourself.

Just a small update.

I went to class and there she was. We never said a single word to each other and at the end of class we went our seperate ways. Not as awkward as I thought it would be.

On another note, I asked out out this new chick I had my eye on for a bit and got her number today. Plan on calling her up in day or two to set something up for this weekend. Her personality is definitely different from most of the girls that I know...this should be fun :rockon: