Is it a good idea to take a break from the game, if you're having torrid time? I'm getting the "LJBF" talk before I've made a move. It's happened twice in the space of six weeks, the latest one happening last weekend. It's knocked my confidence big time as well and I'm feeling pretty resentful and bitter at the moment.

Do you reckon I should abandon the entire game and focus on other things? Like self improvement ect or should I keep plugging away, hoping I get something? Or should I do all of that and re-read the DJ Bible?

Sometimes a girl will say "We're going to be such good friends" within the first few minutes of conversation just so you know she's not interested. It doesn't necessarily mean you aren't being sexual enough, she might be saying it because she immediately got a sexual vibe and isn't interested in you...just meet more girls.

It's happening a lot though, this happens more often than me being flat out rejected and what is worse is that these women expect you to behave the same way around them as you did before you got the "LJBF" pep talk. I back right off and remain civil to them, but the more it happens, the more resentful I get and the more bitter I become, two AFC traits.

It's knocked my confidence or a woman will give me "you're a sweet guy", "you're cute", "you're nice" and as soon as this happens, I'll say something vile which leaves them stunned and then I walk off. Another AFC thing to do.

Quitting won't get you anywhere. If you want to ace an exam you keep studying no matter how discouraging it becomes. You don't quit studying and expect to pass.

Yeah, work on your inner game, reread the DJ Bible, and continue to go out and do your thing.

As for saying something vile, I don't know how vile it is, but if you were to say something like "no thanks, I don't need anymore friends" and walk off, that is not AFC. AFC would to be continue hanging out with the girl in hopes that one day she'd change her mind. Walking away shows conviction.

Energizer said:

Is it a good idea to take a break from the game, if you're having torrid time? I'm getting the "LJBF" talk before I've made a move. It's happened twice in the space of six weeks, the latest one happening last weekend. It's knocked my confidence big time as well and I'm feeling pretty resentful and bitter at the moment.

Do you reckon I should abandon the entire game and focus on other things? Like self improvement ect or should I keep plugging away, hoping I get something? Or should I do all of that and re-read the DJ Bible?

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No, don't abandon. (You should spend the rest of your life self-improving though. No one actually gets to being perfectly improved. There's always another plateau to reach).

Try this, it works for me like kryptonite on women who are a bit interested. Your results may vary. But, you're getting blown out anyway before you make a move so you're got nothing to lose!

I casually possibly LJBF women after a few minutes at least 75% of the time. If they're trying to be nice and friendly and it's obvious they're trying to keep my attention even a little bit I'll say something like (serious, but just with a small hint of a smile to make it vague) "you know what?....pause..."you might be a good friend to have, we'll have to see" or "you know what, you might possibly be a friend I'd like to have in my life" etc... There are endless variations of course.

This VERY RARELY HAPPENS TO HOT GIRLS. She'll immediately be thrown off balance and you'll clearly see her confusion. You're not trying to impress, look up to her, or flatter her. She's now in a position where she has a selective guy (rare!) that hasn't even decided if she has what it takes (decisive!) to be friends with him much less have sex with (rare!). It works like magic for me. She'll start amping up trying to qualify herself because she's completely off of her automatic script and doesn't know what else to do. She's now worried about screwing up and losing something instead of how it is with all the other guys. I asked one girl I was dating when the first moment was that she knew she was interested and she said it was when I said that because she wanted to know why I didn't like her. (ie: she was thinking/feeling "this guy doesn't like me, wtf?" even though I didn't say that)

Some girls just seem turned off. They're not, they already weren't interested (or bored, or hoping for free drinks, or etc...) and were hiding it. Don't worry about that.

WARNING: Some girls go ballistic with this. Even if you're doing it with complete ****y confidence you'll get a small percentage that will get pissed and rant about how cool she is and how lots of guys want her...... Don't take that as rejection, she's just panicking because she's hooked on getting her ass kissed instead of being a girl that gets her ass kissed but REALLY wants a man. Just look at it like you dodged a bullet and found out she's high maintenance and would have just made you follow her around supplicating her. And, if you confidently are not effected by the "Princess" doing that, other girls witnessing her "losing it" will be impressed by you. If you can rattle a 9.5, girls who are around that are 8-9 will be thrilled she finally got pwned. Turn to them and start talking.

Preemptive "you might be someone I'd consider to become a friend" (YMBSICTBAF, heh) also removes her trying that one as game on you later because you will always respond "um, yeah, I told you that when I met you" and look at her like she just popped out of an alien spacecraft

Keep doing that for a few weeks and you'll see that you don't need to lose confidence. In fact, when you're doing preemptive LJBFs, you'll see HER insecurity pop up in almost all of them. Even the ones that get pissed: when she starts ranting about how cool she is it's actually her LOSING control because you've rocked her FAKE confidence.

Wolf said:

Not true. In my experience, saying that to a girl changes their whole mindset and they see you as only a friend in return. Seriously, I've literally experienced that more than once. Don't do it.

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(then they weren't interested in the first place. If she says "ok cool" for example, then YOU misread her)

If it were that easy to change a woman's mind about attraction, we wouldn't need to even be talking about much here. Women don't hear things the same way men do, you need to understand this.

Hot girls always have tons of guys coming up to them with all sorts of "unique" (not) approaches to get sex. This happens over and over so the woman is used to spending her time testing and/or getting rid of him. When she runs into a guy she's interested in and before she gets a chance to mess with LJBF/testing, she "realizes" that he's not interested really at all beyond the conversation itself...she's strongly shaken by that. She's feeling a strong reaction to it "all guys like me but this one isn't effected by me" and "how could I have misread him, I thought he was getting MORE interested, what's going on?".

So, now she's in an unfamiliar situation where she's the one with a high interest level and he seems not to really care one way or another about their conversation. This is a key concept in attracting and getting women more attracted. Without it you'll keep ending up in LJBF land.

Women don't hear the above and think/feel "woo hoo, a guy isn't interested in me so I'll make him my best friend" unless he goes ahead and starts doing AFC things afterwards and then a single sentence is not the problem at all. There aren't any magic sentences that change all women's feelings from attraction to friendship when you first meet her, you can only amplify or shut her down. Just seem to put her in the friend/hangout zone, don't be her girlfriend/priest/therapist, be confident, busy, maintain your composure at all times, mysterious, and you won't EVER end up in LJBF land. She'll be too busy trying to get out of the friend zone to even contemplate that.

MAKE HER CHASE. PUT UP A CHALLENGE.

And, after all, the guy is completely striking out anyway so he's got nothing to lose and it works for me just fine, maybe he'll have a knack for it too

Wolf said:

Note to you, these are good. Maybe not the "you're a sweet guy" one *shudders* but really, cute and nice? 'Tis all good

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A strong masculine man is not associated with being cute or nice. I consider myself to be a fairly masculine man, being called anything other than handsome or gentlemanly (if that's a word) is unacceptable to me. Sweet really takes the biscuit though, I can't accept when a girl calls me that, it's one thing for Aunt Susie to call you that, but for a girl to call you that again that's unacceptable.

MysteriousGuy I get the jist of your post. Are you saying that I should drop the LBJF bombshell straight away to increase possible interest and to flush out the ones who aren't interested without wasting my valuable time?

It seems like an interesting concept, once I get to grips with it, I will implement it.

Energizer said:

MysteriousGuy I get the jist of your post. Are you saying that I should drop the LBJF bombshell straight away to increase possible interest and to flush out the ones who aren't interested without wasting my valuable time?

It seems like an interesting concept, once I get to grips with it, I will implement it.

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Sure, it does work with excellent results with 8-10 HBs but it isn't a "magic pill" since you'll have to see when it works and when it doesn't as well as timing to know exactly when to "drop it" in a way that could have many interpretations. Since you're in the ditch right now with hookups just pay attention to how different girls react at different times and don't worry if it's going to work on any particular girl, completely concentrate your inside focus on how they each react paying particular attention to positive reactions vs negative ones and don't think about specific results. Drop it when she seems to have peaked in interest or is blabbering about something about herself...example, interrupt her talking about her job or friends/whatever right in the middle of a sentence. 5-10 minutes of interaction should do....not 30 seconds because you'll come off as a weirdo/stalker/needy dude who's not selective. Plus, they've got their "is this guy telling me lines/stuff he tells all girls" filter on for the first part of the encounter...once she starts getting interested and talking about herself she won't be thinking much, she'll be feeling.

Notice I'm wrapping up the phrase in cryptic woomanese that she can interpret to mean many different things all at once, word it in a way that's natural to you but conveys vague/multiple interpretations:

""you know what, you might possibly be a friend I'd like to have in my life" with vague very slightly amused mysterious smile and then immediately start talking about something completely different and innocuous before she has a chance to comment.
her inside: "what does that mean, am I unattractive to him, does he have some pretty girlfriend that's more attractive than me, did what I was saying bore him, why doesn't he like me like every other guy, oh no, he changed the subject I can't go back and ask him now or he'll think blah blah blah" etc... all sort of things. She doesn't know where she stands. She's an HB, this doesn't happen to her. From her view you've lost what she always gets, sexually interested guys trying to fool her/being nice to her. That really rocks her world. When you time/do it right you'll see confusion flicker across her face that something went "blip" inside her mind and derailed things and she'll try to recompose herself. {----- Watch for that...you got to her!

vs (DON'T DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS!)

"I like you as a person and want to be friends and hang out".
her inside: "total bullshait, I've heard that many times before...he wants sex and is going the weak chump route, GAME OVER DUDE"

If she's just passing time and using you for attention or free drinks, she'll be offended at a lower status guy daring to talk to her that way. She'll be pissed off. Good, you dodged a bullet and save minutes or days of effort.

If she's interested she'll think she's somehow turning you off and start chasing. She might get irritated for a minute while she's recomposing herself. Just look puzzled like there isn't anything going on that should irritate her. If you want to be really bold, then ask if she has issues you should know about :crackup:

Try it out and post your results/observations...whether it works or not...you've got nothing at all to lose right now.

Mystery uses that as a neg. I would study up on how to build initial attraction. Or, you might want to try going much bolder, and sooner, when you meet a girl.. This way, they'll either bang you or reject you, before they have a chance to LJBF you. Also, figure out exactly what is so 'cute and nice' about you, and replace it for some manly sexuality. Or, find a way to use the cut and nice to your advantage. It can be done, its just harder. When she calls you cute and nice, you should make a bold move right there, using her same language. "You know, you are really cute too, (move close kino, sexy voice) you go this cute little nose, and these dimples. I just want to eat you up like cotton candy." go for the kiss. You got nothing to lose.

How long is it from meeting these girls to friendzone?

Yeah I'm going to try this as well...I'm usually pretty direct and don't start playing mindgames unless she does, but this could work pretty well.

MysteriousGuy, that's fantastic, I'll definitely try it and I'll report back with my findings.

Horaholic, it can be anywhere from the first meeting to knowing each other for a few weeks/months, this last girl, I met three times over a two month period. The girl before that twice in the space of a weekend, both dropped the LJBF.