Hey guys, just moved to a new town, don't know anyone, having a hard time getting the ball rolling. I've used a few dating websites had a few dates but I can't seem to get much traction. Without going into my life story, I've done well in the past, met girls, hooked up, girlfriends, that whole thing. But right now it feels like I'm in a slump, and being in a new town with no friends/wingmen isn't making it easy. I walk into a bar and I'm on my own, start feeling a bit awkward and then get self conscious.

Any idea what I can do to not just stand there alone against the wall like its the high school dance?

This is where you have to be brave. There is nothing to fear from other people.

When I dropped out of colllege I had no friends. I went out, had a few drinks told people I was new in town and where was the after party, what are good places to hang out, you kno just striking up conversations. Got invited to some parties and clubs, went and hung out. Became a regular in those spots and got to know new people.

I someone invites you to something go and introduce yourself, tell people where you are from and what you do, just have conversations and get numbers of guys and girls and get to know people. There are always people who are sympathic to a new guy in town and will give you a shot at entering their social circles.

Also once you get established invite your new friends over or out with you.

and of course if you have interest like music or bike riding or what ever you are into find people in your area who are into that and go to events. YOu gotta be proactive on this, it won't come to you, people who aren't proactive end up being those social outcast, not because they were thrown out, but because they didn't try to get in.

Good luck.

Von_S said:

Hey guys, just moved to a new town, don't know anyone, having a hard time getting the ball rolling. I've used a few dating websites had a few dates but I can't seem to get much traction. Without going into my life story, I've done well in the past, met girls, hooked up, girlfriends, that whole thing. But right now it feels like I'm in a slump, and being in a new town with no friends/wingmen isn't making it easy. I walk into a bar and I'm on my own, start feeling a bit awkward and then get self conscious.

Any idea what I can do to not just stand there alone against the wall like its the high school dance?

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I love going out "SOLO" this is when the crazy shiit happens, what guys don't realize is that going out with a wing, is actually giving you competition.

When I go out this is what I typically do.

• I walk in the bar usually run to the bathroom first(waiting is a bitcc) or go to the bar.
  
• I buy a drink, and scope the place out looking for potential hits(eye contact, vibe etc)
  
• I chop it up with a few people( this creates social proof) as Warrior said chop it with people of like interest.

Typically I like to talk some people just to get warmed up. My game is like a kettel, I need to warm up first, Once I'm warm typically stuff just explodes from there

I.E.

One time I went out to some redneck ass bar, I was the only man of color there. Didn't know a frigging soul. As soon as I walked in. I knew I was overdress (and out of place) I grabbed a beer and stood there like an idiot, this was about a year ago when I first started to take this serious. I noticed another brother, I started talking to him (eeeh, only two blacks in there) he introduced me to his friends. I asked him about the town, people, college(it was a college town) etc etc. He gave me the insight 411, at the end of the night, not only did I know his friends, but the bartender as well, and they even hooked me up with some free shots/drinks. Everytime I would go back there, the guy would recogize me, and we would talk.

^^I've got some better examples(where crazy stuff happened) but I think to me that stood out the most, because I was in a town where I ain't know a soul, hell I didn't even the clubs,.

Peace