So, I been texting this girl. Our mutual friend is trying to hook us up, she thinks we would get on well etc....

I haven't met the girl in question yet, nor spoke to her on the fone yet...we were supposed to meet a couple of days ago, but she flaked because of work...(I think it was a genuine flake...and to be honest she said it mite happen anyway) - note that when she did flake she said "can we do another night please"

Anyways, I countered suggesting the following night, to which she replied shes working late again...I didn't want to go through listing all the days like a idiot..so I said I would put it in her safe hands!!

she responded well "hehe, u make me smile , ok il let u know asap x"

That was on thursday..and its now saturday night....

The annoying thing is, I really want to meet the girl because she is hot..so I want to know sooner rather than later if there could be something between us or not....

Honestly, I feel I cant contact her again until she contacts me first, as I left her in control (perhaps a bad move on my part)!!!....so I guess I shall have to wait at least until the weekend is over before I contact again...

(she has 2 jobs, which is really annoying!! lol)

So basically, I dont know whether it would be acceptable to send her a txt maybe sunday, something cute or flirty or whatever...OR just wait and hope she contacts me in the next couple of days.... I dont want to appear desperate to her

please give me your input guys! - but only if its constructive and dealing with the situation rather than just saying "go out and approach other girls"

I think you made a mistake letting her have the control there. But we cant change that now. She seems like shes interested so i wouldnt say uve got much to worry about with uber low interest levels.

anyway i personally would try to occupy my mind with other persuits, females, hobbies or whatever is to ur fancy while u wait and see what she says. Basically dont think about her constantly and wait for her text or call cos that would be needy and anti-man. (as im sure you know) Dont get all insta-oneitis.

If she doesnt reply at all then that is a good sign that she isnt worth your time and shes not right for u. So yeah i wouldnt text her again. Just my opinion!

You need to take your phone and call her up. None of this texting back and forth. Not a winning game for you. By having a normal, but short, phone conversation, you'll have most of the answers you need to questions like "Is she interested?", "Is her counter offer genuine?", "Will she use her two jobs as an excuse", etc.

thanks for your replies guys.

gangster of love - surely I cant call her up since I left it with her..wont that seem a bit afc?

zemaj said:

thanks for your replies guys.

gangster of love - surely I cant call her up since I left it with her..wont that seem a bit afc?

Click to expand...

You left what with her?

The whole texting you've done so far has been very afc. Call her up sunday evening and take charge like a man. You'll only get the answers you want by calling her. The other option is to obsess with this one because you don't know where you stand.

well, I left the ball in her court (which clearly was a mistake)...I said i'd let her pick a day..and she said she'd get back to me...(which she hasn't done so far)

I want to call...but honestly she seems more comfortable texting, and she was prepared to meet me initially without a fone call...I mean, I have social proof from our mutual friend....I just want to meet her, cos my face to face game is fine..its just all this phone sh!t i HATE lol

I NEVER buy into the "I'm busy" line.

What I don't get is that BOTH women AND MEN have jobs.

We both work,we both have families,we both have friends and other interests.

You have a job,right? But yet,you're WILLING to find the time to meet up with her.

You're "busy" at times in your life as well,but you make time to see someone if you like them.


Don't fall for "I'm busy" from women.

She eats,doesn't she? You know,like food?

She's not so busy and overwhelmed with work and life that she goes weeks or months at a time without eating a meal.

Well?

Well if she can find time to eat while having two jobs,then she can find time to have dinner with you,right?

Kill two birds with one stone...she can have a meal,which she's going to do anyway,while sitting down and spending time with you.

Guys should never fall for the "I'm busy" line.

Most of the time when this happens,she'll keep you at arm's length for three or four weeks,then one day when you call her up trying to see her,she'll tell you about the "new" guy she just met.

jesus man just call her

thanks Igetit...

are you basically saying I should totally give up on this chick? I must say im majorly disappointed that It seems im not even gonna get the chance to meet her.... I mean initially when we were txting she was quite open about that fact our friend was playing "matchmaker"...

oh well, the story of my life! I never seem to get anywhere with any girl I might actually like!!

I don't like the fact that you are allowing a mutual friend to play God with your chances.

It is you who fancies this woman, therefore it should be you that does the work to get a date with woman.

And ditch the texting, ring her up, texting is for small messages that are sent between mates every so often. Texts shouldn't be used as a main source of contact.

hmm, energizer, im not really allowing the friend to play matchmaker...all she did was said I thought she was cute, and because the other girl was newly single, she reckoned we would get on etc....

apart from that, its just been me and the girl in question making contact..no middle man.

Call Her And Set Something Up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:box: :box: :box: :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

zemaj said:

hmm, energizer, im not really allowing the friend to play matchmaker...all she did was said I thought she was cute, and because the other girl was newly single, she reckoned we would get on etc....

apart from that, its just been me and the girl in question making contact..no middle man.

Click to expand...

Really?

That's not what you said in the opening post is it?

Our mutual friend is trying to hook us up, she thinks we would get on well etc....

Click to expand...

How can there be no middle man when you have said your friend is trying to hook you up? Is she invisible? Is she a figment of your imagination? I jest with you.

What sort of contact have you made? Just through text messaging?

Energizer said:

Really?

That's not what you said in the opening post is it?



How can there be no middle man when you have said your friend is trying to hook you up? Is she invisible? Is she a figment of your imagination? I jest with you.

What sort of contact have you made? Just through text messaging?

Click to expand...

What I meant is that our mutual friend basically gave us an initial nudge by thinking we might get on... and then the girl added me on facebook.. I dont really see that as an issue anyway...I dont think its a bad thing to be set up by someone.

Yes, it has only been text message contact..although it did genuinely seem like we were set to meet up face to face. My friend honestly beleives she is a very nice girl, and not a typical attention wh0re type.

just to clarify..my main question is, IS IT TOO LATE TO TURN THIS AROUND??

zemaj said:

just to clarify..my main question is, IS IT TOO LATE TO TURN THIS AROUND??

Click to expand...

CALL HER!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! ARE MY POSTS INVISIBLE????? CALL HER AND TRY TO SET SOMETHING UP!!!!! ASK HER WHAT SHE'S UP TO TONIGHT...IF SHE SAYS NOTHIN ASK HER OUT...IF SHE SAYS SOMETHIN, ASK HER OUT FOR TOMROROW

Igetit! said:

I NEVER buy into the "I'm busy" line.

What I don't get is that BOTH women AND MEN have jobs.

We both work,we both have families,we both have friends and other interests.

You have a job,right? But yet,you're WILLING to find the time to meet up with her.

You're "busy" at times in your life as well,but you make time to see someone if you like them.


Don't fall for "I'm busy" from women.

She eats,doesn't she? You know,like food?

She's not so busy and overwhelmed with work and life that she goes weeks or months at a time without eating a meal.

Well?

Well if she can find time to eat while having two jobs,then she can find time to have dinner with you,right?

Kill two birds with one stone...she can have a meal,which she's going to do anyway,while sitting down and spending time with you.

Guys should never fall for the "I'm busy" line.

Most of the time when this happens,she'll keep you at arm's length for three or four weeks,then one day when you call her up trying to see her,she'll tell you about the "new" guy she just met.

Click to expand...

I gotta rep for you here! Hi-5!

And goddammit! You left fate in HER hands? How stupid! Now you just became the goddamn doormat for her to walk all over you!

Men need to take control! Are you a man? If you are, then lead, not follow!

Case closed.

I say take the experience as a lesson...

I personally hate set ups, because it implies your incapable of finding someone yourself so you already lose a little semblance of respect from the person your being set up with.

You should have taken control from the beginning...not have the friend set you up, but make it seem like you met her on your own prerogative in a group hang out setting.

And Igetit was right....any time a girl says she is busy it is HIGHLY suspect of disinterest.

Just because she was nice through texting doesn't mean she was interested from the beginning....

At this point you have to make an ultimatum with yourself and call her up and find out if shes interested or not....If she isn't you have to promise yourself you are moving on.

zemaj said:

What I meant is that our mutual friend basically gave us an initial nudge by thinking we might get on... and then the girl added me on facebook.. I dont really see that as an issue anyway...I dont think its a bad thing to be set up by someone.

Yes, it has only been text message contact..although it did genuinely seem like we were set to meet up face to face. My friend honestly beleives she is a very nice girl, and not a typical attention wh0re type.

Click to expand...

It is an issue.

You shouldn't need a nudge from a mate to go after a girl who you are attracted too. You're not ten years old anymore in the playground at school.

It doesn't matter if she is a nice girl or a complete twitter, the fact she added you on facebook, all your contact has been via text messaging will set you at a disadvantage?

Have you met her in person yet?