Why am I being such an emotional p**y?

Frenchconnection · Jul 23, 2009

This girl I’m somewhat seeing is not giving me the attention I used to get from her anymore and it’s bothering me a lot.
The worse part is that she’s not good for me and I know I need to move on. I am talking to someone else but the girl who is not giving me any attention is on my mind.

You guys been in this situation? It's driving me :cuss:

iqqi · Jul 23, 2009

Everyone has been in this situation, OP.

What you need to do is take a breather, then a chill pill, and then re-evaluate the situation at hand. What can you learn from this? What is it about this not-good for you chick that is drawing you in? That is an area of yourself that you might need to inspect closely.

Also, a tool here is distraction. Find distraction to aid you in your quest of detoxing from this unhealthy fixation.

Introspection + re-evaluation + distraction = move on in the right direction.

Unbridled_Phoenix · Jul 23, 2009

Take it as a lesson learned. We pursue that which evades us, and we evade that which pursues us. With many shades of grey in the middle, where we want to be.

I know you aren't continually calling/seeking a woman who is ignoring you, though.

Vlad the Impaler · Jul 23, 2009

Frenchconnection said:
This girl I’m somewhat seeing is not giving me the attention I used to get from her anymore and it’s bothering me a lot.
The worse part is that she’s not good for me and I know I need to move on. I am talking to someone else but the girl who is not giving me any attention is on my mind.

You guys been in this situation? It's driving me :cuss:

I've gone through the same thing recently. Met a girl, she is clearly psycho and BPD. She has red flags out the wazoo, fiancee's have left her, she has been divorced.

She brags about being a player, she is spinning plates, and she is trouble.

And for some reason I still want her. I am just keeping things civil with her at this point, and trying to spin other plates and just keep her around as a plate. I even went AFC and told her my feelings for her but that was awhile ago and I told her I was drunk.

I haven't done it again.

KontrollerX · Jul 24, 2009

Its just ego fvcking with you man.

Sadly our bodies and minds tend to get into addicted modes and desire that which is poisonous for us.

So step back, relax and have a few laughs and drinks with some buddies, then go shopping for someone new until you find yourself more captivated by the new girl than you were by the old.

jophil28 · Jul 24, 2009

KontrollerX said:
Its just ego fvcking with you man.

Sadly our bodies and minds tend to get into addicted modes and desire that which is poisonous for us.

So step back, relax and have a few laughs and drinks with some buddies, then go shopping for someone new until you find yourself more captivated by the new girl than you were by the old.

Good words from KX.

The addictive style and nature of destructive relationships and the desire for loonie women are one of natures cruel hoaxes.

Vlad the Impaler · Jul 24, 2009

KontrollerX said:
Its just ego fvcking with you man.

Sadly our bodies and minds tend to get into addicted modes and desire that which is poisonous for us.

So step back, relax and have a few laughs and drinks with some buddies, then go shopping for someone new until you find yourself more captivated by the new girl than you were by the old.

jophil28 said:
Good words from KX.

The addictive style and nature of destructive relationships and the desire for loonie women are one of natures cruel hoaxes.

Interesting, but it doesn't have to be a cruel hoax.

The way I am dealing with my BPD player plate is, I have realized what she is trying to do. She tries to play me all the time, and I call her out on it every time and she just laughs because she can't understand how I know her so well.

I have explained to her that you cannot play a player (I claim to be a player because I know the game, thanks to the forums).

I don't think she has ever dated a guy who knows the game so well and who doesn't fall for her stupid lies, games and tricks. So she is like "wtf"?

Even when I acted AFC, and she tried to take advantage of it, I realized what was going on. I told her she can't play me and to give up trying. She still tries, and I just call her out every time.

This is why she keeps seeing me, because she can't figure me out, and her games and lies don't get to me anymore.

Thanks to sosuave I know the game and will never be played by these "player" women who think we are all chumps. I will keep doing what I am doing and she will still be banging me at the end of the day no matter who her "boyfriend" happens to be at the time.

My only mistake was catching feelings and caring for her but I have corrected that mistake.

jophil28 · Jul 24, 2009

Vlad the Impaler said:
The way I am dealing with my BPD player plate is, I have realized what she is trying to do. She tries to play me all the time, and I call her out on it every time and she just laughs because she can't understand how I know her so well.

Vlad, your belief in your newly found DJ powers will surely be tested with a woman who is mentally ill. And BPD is a serious metal disorder.
Just remember that she has been a loonie much longer that you have been a junior DJ.
Frankly I think that you might need to experience the horrors of ClusterB manipulations to realise that you are sleeping with a crocodile, and crocs bite .

KontrollerX · Jul 24, 2009

"to realise that you are sleeping with a crocodile, and crocs bite."

Speaking of which keep in mind Vlad that Steve Irwin was trained to deal with dangerous animals and despite his training he ended up getting killed via a stingray barb from a dangerous animal.

Do not underestimate the Cluster B.

Having our DJ training will not necessarily save you from harm by them and I'm not just talking emotional and psychological wear and tear but you could actually physically be in danger from her.

I read an article posted here a few months back about how some BPD stabbed her man in the stomach and he was killed and I think Bible Belt has told us all one of the BPD's he was seeing actually killed someone during one of her drunk driving BPD episodes.

The innocent person was killed and the BPD basically walked away without a scratch or a care in the world as to the enormity and horror of what she had done.

No remorse likely other than being inconvenienced having to deal with the cops and do a short stint in a correctional facility where the sentence was so short it could be equated to a slap on the wrist.

Pathetic.

That BPD wh0re should be rotting in a cell at taxpayer's expense for the rest of her life just as her victim lies rotting in the ground.

Thats the joke known as "American justice" for you though these days.

So just be careful and make your safety and awareness of surroundings a very high priority.

Do not fear being too paranoid about anything relating to her because any moment one of the angry men she's screwed over may show up unexpectedly with the full intention to commit a mass murder/suicide out of need for revenge.

I think the poster here horaholic or someone else nearly had just such a scenario play out with them with a BPD.

So this is what may very likely have to look forward to should you continue on with this dangerous predatory parasitic animal.

Vlad the Impaler · Jul 24, 2009

KontrollerX said:
"to realise that you are sleeping with a crocodile, and crocs bite."

Speaking of which keep in mind Vlad that Steve Irwin was trained to deal with dangerous animals and despite his training he ended up getting killed via a stingray barb from a dangerous animal.

Do not underestimate the Cluster B.

Having our DJ training will not necessarily save you from harm by them and I'm not just talking emotional and psychological wear and tear but you could actually physically be in danger from her.

I read an article posted here a few months back about how some BPD stabbed her man in the stomach and he was killed and I think Bible Belt has told us all one of the BPD's he was seeing actually killed someone during one of her drunk driving BPD episodes.

The innocent person was killed and the BPD basically walked away without a scratch or a care in the world as to the enormity and horror of what she had done.

No remorse likely other than being inconvenienced having to deal with the cops and do a short stint in a correctional facility where the sentence was so short it could be equated to a slap on the wrist.

Pathetic.

That BPD wh0re should be rotting in a cell at taxpayer's expense for the rest of her life just as her victim lies rotting in the ground.

Thats the joke known as "American justice" for you though these days.

So just be careful and make your safety and awareness of surroundings a very high priority.

Do not fear being too paranoid about anything relating to her because any moment one of the angry men she's screwed over may show up unexpectedly with the full intention to commit a mass murder/suicide out of need for revenge.

I think the poster here horaholic or someone else nearly had just such a scenario play out with them with a BPD.

So this is what may very likely have to look forward to should you continue on with this dangerous predatory parasitic animal.

jophil28 said:
Vlad, your belief in your newly found DJ powers will surely be tested with a woman who is mentally ill. And BPD is a serious metal disorder.
Just remember that she has been a loonie much longer that you have been a junior DJ.
Frankly I think that you might need to experience the horrors of ClusterB manipulations to realise that you are sleeping with a crocodile, and crocs bite .

I'm still not sure what I have with this girl. I admit I have fallen for her a little bit. She has the looks I like and a personality I like... so she cast the spell on me but I am controlling it.

She has been divorced twice. First time she got married was when she was 20. 2nd time she said the guy started beating her after he came back from Iraq.

She said she was engaged 6 months ago and the guy walked out on her after a big fight and never came back. I don't think I asked her why exactly they fought.

She banged and sucked on the first date and I met her online. She is on some anti depressant meds. I found out she was banging another guy while she was seeing me, and I dumped her immediately.

Then I thought about it and we weren't exclusive, so I started talking to her again. Then she tried to dump me a week later and I laughed it off. I basically pretended it never happened.

I saw her last night. I told her I'm coming over I didn't even ask her if I could I just told her I'm coming. She was cool with it.

I don't know what we are now. She's fun to hang with and I like her so I'll just leave it at that. No need to get all emotional. I let her know that if I find out she lies to me ever again, I'll be gone for good.

As long as I don't knock her up......She wants me to bang her raw, tells me she is on the pill.

jophil28 · Jul 24, 2009

Vlad the Impaler said:
She has been divorced twice. First time she got married was when she was 20. 2nd time she said the guy started beating her after he came back from Iraq.

She said she was engaged 6 months ago and the guy walked out on her after a big fight and never came back. I don't think I asked her why exactly they fought.

Vlad. That tells you all you need to know about her. Proceed at your own risk.
Here is a classic example of how a woman's history will tell a new guy how she is going to behave with him.
Expect drama, faked up hysterics, breakups and makeups.

IF you can not get emotionally involved, then continue to see her, BUT I sense that you are already invested somewhat even though you claim to be able to "control it ". Ultimately the test of being 'in control' is our ability to just walk away if the situation degenerates.

Vlad the Impaler · Jul 24, 2009

jophil28 said:
Vlad. That tells you all you need to know about her. Proceed at you own risk.
Expect drama, faked up hysterics, breakups and makeups.

IF you can not get emotionally involved, then continue to see her, BUT I sense that you are already invested somewhat even though you claim to be able to "control it ". Ultimately the test of being 'in control' is our ability to just walk away if the situation degenerates.

I already tried just walking away and that bothered me more than just dealing with her.

So I decided to just deal with her, and try not to get attached WHILE still meeting and dating other girls.

Vlad the Impaler · Jul 24, 2009

shaunuk said:
Vlad, don't be an idiot. You've banged it already, and you know she's a nutjob. She's clearly gonna be bad news sooner or later. Use what you've learnt in your time here man..

Oh and the fact that she tells you she's on a pill...please be joking. Wrap the d!ck up if you're gonna keep banging her, and for fvcks sake, get an STI test if you've been barebacking her

I have thought about all of this and I have been observing her.. I don't think she is THAT far gone... Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I think she is a decent person and could have potential.

I could be delusional but my gut is telling me she is not the huge hor and slut I want to think she is.

jophil28 · Jul 24, 2009

Vlad the Impaler said:
I already tried just walking away and that bothered me more than just dealing with her.

So I decided to just deal with her, and try not to get attached WHILE still meeting and dating other girls.

You and she are already exchanging small arms fire.
I expect Vlad to become a casualty in this skirmish.

jophil28 · Jul 24, 2009

Vlad the Impaler said:
I have thought about all of this and I have been observing her.. I don't think she is THAT far gone... Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I think she is a decent person and could have potential.

I could be delusional but my gut is telling me she is not the huge hor and slut I want to think she is.

Maybe not a ho and a slut, who really knows , but she is UNSTABLE - take her history again before you get all starry eyed..

Vlad the Impaler · Jul 24, 2009

jophil28 said:
Maybe not a ho and a slut, who really knows , but she is UNSTABLE - take her history again before you get all starry eyed..

yeah, she has only ever dated / married military guys and her fiancee was a cop. She told me I am the first civilian she has dated in a very long time.

Maybe she just needs a normal guy.. Maybe it's just me, but most of the women who have told me they got beaten were from military guys.

Unbridled_Phoenix · Jul 24, 2009

When a BPD is involved, there is always a spider and a fly, without exception. Which one are you?

Part of their sick spell is that they infiltrate your subconscious, and before you know it, you are rationalizing and explaining away all kinds of red flags and behavior that would immediately disqualify any otherwise mentally healthy woman; it's the seductive power of the sickness that dulls your senses, negates your reason, and renders you...another fly in her web.

These people can (and often do) ruin the lives of those they become close with. It's not that you should hate them, I don't hate a rattlesnake for acting like a rattlesnake, but I certainly avoid them. Should you stay this course, do so knowing that you haven't seen ANYTHING yet.

Vlad the Impaler · Jul 24, 2009

Unbridled_Phoenix said:
When a BPD is involved, there is always a spider and a fly, without exception. Which one are you?

Part of their sick spell is that they infiltrate your subconscious, and before you know it, you are rationalizing and explaining away all kinds of red flags and behavior that would immediately disqualify any otherwise mentally healthy woman; it's the sickness that dulls your senses, negates your reason, and renders you...another fly in her web.

These people can (and often do) ruin the lives of those they become close with. It's not that you should hate them, I don't hate a rattlesnake for acting like a rattlesnake, but I certainly avoid them. Should you stay this course, do so knowing that you haven't seen ANYTHING yet.

I am falling into the trap and justifying her behavior...

Why do I love BPD Women??!!?!? It's crazy but at least I have seen the forums and realize she is only here for fun and experience while I date other girls.

When you look at it this way, it's not so bad.

jophil28 · Jul 24, 2009

Unbridled_Phoenix said:
When a BPD is involved, there is always a spider and a fly, without exception. Which one are you?

Part of their sick spell is that they infiltrate your subconscious, and before you know it, you are rationalizing and explaining away all kinds of red flags and behavior that would immediately disqualify any otherwise mentally healthy woman; it's the seductive power of the sickness that dulls your senses, negates your reason, and renders you...another fly in her web.

These people can (and often do) ruin the lives of those they become close with. It's not that you should hate them, I don't hate a rattlesnake for acting like a rattlesnake, but I certainly avoid them. Should you stay this course, do so knowing that you haven't seen ANYTHING yet.

Good words. "Spider and the fly".. that describes it precisely. The problem is that the spider NEVER presents as a spider until the fly is caught in the web..

Heretolearn · Jul 24, 2009

*smiles

THank you for this thread. I NEVER believed that my experience with a BPD would ever be positive. I harbour so much anger and frustration even today. Yet one TINY silver lining is seeing this thread. With an OUNCE of my experience I would suggest RUNNING LITTERALLY away everytime you heard a BPDs name. Seriously it is THAT messed up. Not even good for fun or whatever justification you can make.

Think venom from spiderman. They are symbiotes. They make you feel powerful but suck your soul and make you weaker and dependent.

You cannot get a little bit pregnant. And you cannot mess around a little bit with a BPD.

The rattlesnake metaphor is perfect. Just avoid and focus on the better things on life. TRULY believe in yourself and that you are better than this.

A BPD in my case was a distraction from life. It can be the end of it for many!

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Why am I being such an emotional p**y?

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