http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/16/choosing-not-to-keep-the-baby/
For my first trip out and about since learning I was pregnant, I went to meet with the director of an adoption agency. He was so supportive and sweet that I walked away choked up but not in tears ... I already feel so attached to the little zygote inside of me (my friend named it Ziggy) that I don’t think I could carry a baby to term just to give it away. The mere thought of handing my child to someone else, as altruistic as it is, breaks me.
So far, so good. It is quite normal for a woman to keep her child.
A lot of your readers asked if I could take time off from the graduate program. They do not allow for any time off. There’s no deferral, classes are only offered once in the two years, and there aren’t any incompletes. I have been talking to students who are already there, who have had children, who are married and are quite a bit older, and who said it is really hard ... I can’t miss a single class without risking the whole program, that’s just the way it’s designed. It matters if you show up. We get to work with government programs, the Gates Foundation, and local charitable organizations — this is finally the “real, hands on” experience I’ve been looking for. If I’m not there to turn in a policy paper or a memo, someone else’s child might not get their mosquito net or child support check. What I do matters, not just in my own small world, but in the big picture.
So let me see ... you would sacrifice your own child so that someone else's child could get their mosquito net. Of course, if YOU didn't get into this program, some other person would, and that little child would get his mosquito net, but YOU wouldn't get the satisfaction. You know, now that I think about it, the human gene pool would better off without your contribution.
One good thing that came out of this is that the father of this child stepped up to the plate —– not financially, maybe, but emotionally. I wasn’t expecting him to because, after knowing each other for 12 years, I thought I had him figured out. But he has surprised me. Even though he agrees that terminating the pregnancy is the best option for both of us (he’s broke and I’m going to school), he’s trying desperately to do the right thing. He is scared out of his mind but still managed to offer me a ride to the doctor. Telling him that “everything is going to be all right” made me more confident that abortion is the best option.
Let me point his contribution to those who may have missed it:
He is scared out of his mind but still managed to offer me a ride to the doctor.
Ah, what chivalry!
Another good thing is that I now really know how important this graduate program is to me. I don’t want to be eight months pregnant and doing field research, I don’t want the strict professors to treat me any more harshly than the other students. I love school and I’m a great student so that’s what I’m going to focus on while I still have the energy to make it look easy.
Well honey, you're just like all those career women who want to have it all when they're young, and decide later to have a child at age 35, when your eggs will be at their expiration date. Only here, you managed to have a child, just not on YOUR schedule.
Once I came to the decision to terminate the pregnancy, so much of the guilt and sadness I’d been feeling melted away. I felt happy for the first time since finding out and I feel like my family is supportive of my decision. I’m focusing on the child I’ll have in a few years from now with someone I feel safe with and supported by. The life of that child will be infinitely better than this one and, sometimes, I wonder if such a miserable, lonely woman could even have a healthy child.
So what happens if after conceiving with your future husband, that you find out that he's cad, and you don't want him anymore? Do you just abort and look for husband #2? What if your husband walks out on you after the baby is born. Do you do an infanticide?
I'm firmly pro-choice, but it's women like these that make me think about going pro-life. :cuss:
